Death of a Romance

A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship. -Rainer Maria Rilke

Korra turned to the left, then the right, scrutinizing her flat stomach from every angle. She wasn't pregnant, and was happy that she wasn't, but even though the test was negative, a little piece of her broke at the thought of another person made from parts of her and Iroh. She was well aware that a pregnancy resulting from the affair would end badly for the pair, but she can't get over the ache she feels in her chest every time she sees the pain in his eyes when Mako texted her, or when Mako called when they're together.

Korra knew she's being selfish, felt it to the core of her being, seeping into her bones, but she can't let go of either of them. Her love for Mako stemmed from familiarity, a comfort in her life that she more often than not took for granted. Her fondness for Iroh, she can't explain it, but she knew she liked it, cherished the stolen moments with him. Every touch was electric, a spark of electricity that she never knew she needed until she met him.

No, she's not pregnant, didn't want to be pregnant, and when her mind imagined a beautiful, golden-eyed baby with deeply tanned skin, she wasn't sure if she was picturing the result of her and Mako or of her and Iroh.

Her treachery had gone on for long enough, and she felt terrible every time he dragged his warm lips up and down her neck, every time he slid between her thighs.

She loves Mako, she truly does, but she burns for Iroh, can feel the passion for him in the ache of her bones.

But-

after everything they've gone through, the sneaking around, the heartache, the taboo of the situation

-will her passion burn for him always, or will it fizzle out when the novelty of the situation dies down.

That, she did not know.

And she hated herself, hated herself, for being so torn because she should want her boyfriend, the one who'd been at her side for a year-

-but she didn't know what she wanted, who she wanted, and maybe that can be attributed to her being young and a bit indecisive.

She bit her lip and and flopped onto her bed.

Korra has to tell Mako.

…

Her fingers dug into the soft cotton bedsheets, breasts pressed into the mattress as he cleaved her open, his weight bearing down on her back. She blew stray strands of hair out of her eyes, cried out into the pillow.

He collapsed next to her, but instead of wrapping an arm around her, pressing his lips to her forehead, he turnd away.

"Are you okay?" Korra's still in a post-coital haze, so she cannot sense the frustration radiating off of him in waves.

"No." Taciturn. To the point. Gruff.

She scooted closer to his back, nuzzled his neck. "You're lying," she whispered against his skin. "Why are you mad at me?"

He rolled over to face her, golden eyes full of a blend of sadness and anger. "You're still with him, aren't you? Mako?" His voice was even, calm, but she knows the cold fury laced in his words. "You said that you wanted to be here, with me, but you're so in love with him that you can't break his heart." His jaw clenched and his nostrils flared. "Why can't you just be honest and end this."

She lifted her eyes to his, furrowed her brow, "Why are you always saying goodbye to me? It's like whenever I come over you-"

"I what?" he interrupts, propping himself up on one arm. "What Korra? If anything, you should be saying goodbye to me. I wouldn't want to be Mako right now, because I wouldn't want my girlfriend who is supposed to love me off fucking another guy! I don't want to be that guy, Korra! I hate myself for letting this go this far, not to mention that I am still your teacher and that this is illegal. I think maybe you should just leave." He sat up and nodded towards her clothing. "And I don't think you should come back. This is wrong, it's been wrong, and I can't do this anymore." He stood up, walked to the bathroom. "I want you gone by the time I get out. I just…I just can't anymore, Korra." She flinched at the way his voice broke near the end and that hurt her more than him kicking her out of his apartment.

She wasn't sure if he was listening or not, but the quiet "I'm sorry" that escaped her lips was the only closure that she expected to get.

Korra couldn't be bitter, because she deserved it.

She shouldn't feel sad, because he wasn't her boyfriend, not really, what they were doing was wrong, and their entire relationship was an affair, but the stab at her heart betrayed her true feelings.

She was more invested in this than she wanted to be, and the man in the shower was more honorable than she'd ever be, but she had to respect his wishes.

So she walked out of his door, out of his personal life, and stayed away.

A/N: Sorry about the wait! I'm really bad about updating this thing...

I'm trying to get these chapters out as fast as I can, and I will probably revise them when the series is done. I've grown a lot as a writer since I started this fic (which was originally a oneshot) a year ago.

Thanks for reading!

Only two chapters left!

Leave me reviews! I love feedback! I got an influx of story followers and even an ask on tumblr, and that got me to write again.