Title: The Pieces Left

Rating: M

Author: Ellixer

Pairing: X/G

Disclaimer: Characters and show are owned by Universal and others. The story is mine. I make nothing.

Note: A what if story. What would have happened if that one night with Perdicus resulted in a child? Starts off after 'Ten Little Warlords.' Obviously a lot of things don't happen after that.

Side Note: Thank you to all reviewers. I write for you. I try my best to let each and every one of you know my appreciation but I know I miss some. Thank you.

'Xena….I don't feel so good.' My stomach wakes me out of a sound sleep, and I think I may have just have woken Xena out of one too.

'Go throw up by the bushes.' She waves her arm at me without actually moving. In seconds I'm up on my feet, running towards the bushes at the edge of camp. I barely make it when my stomach decides to empty. My muscles spasm painfully, making my eyes water and my knees weak.

I collapse against the ground waiting for the nausea to pass. The sky above me begins to lighten slowly as dawn approaches, but soon my vision is filled with Xena. She's standing above me, a mixture of concern and humor in her eyes.

'You ok?' She crouches down, feeling my forehead. 'You don't have a fever.'

'No, I just wasn't happy with dinner last night.' I attempt to smile as she pulls me up to my feet.

'Go clean yourself up; I'll take care of camp.' She gives me a soft smile as she urges me towards the stream. I'm sure I look Tartarus, because I feel like it.

I take my time using a wet cloth to wipe my body down. Slowly I begin to feel better, the nausea slipping away. Now I just feel hungry, which is not surprising because my stomach is completely empty. I'm not going to make any attempt to eat right now though; a repeat performance of this morning's events is not something I'd like have happen.

'Maybe you just need a break.' Xena says as I walk back into camp. I shrug my shoulders. Things have been intense lately, not that they aren't always that way.

'No.' I sigh. 'Too much stress that's all.' I've been throwing up off and on for a couple of weeks now, but nothing seems to actually be wrong with me.

'Are you sure?' Her fingers caress my cheek. I try to smile back.

'I'm sure.' She seems to mull this over a minute before finally dropping her hand.

'Walk or ride?'

'I think I can manage walking.' So she walks beside me, arms brushing occasionally. Even with such little contact, the feeling is comforting and warm.

'How about we stop at an Inn for a few days.' She looks at me brightly, but I can tell she's gauging my reaction.

'Sounds good. As long as there are no people to save or God's to fight.' I give her a grin, nudging her a little with my elbow.

'Well I can't promise anything.' She grins back at me. I feel that her mere presence makes me feel safe and comforted. Everywhere I go with her I nearly die, but still I'm not afraid.

'A lot's happened.' She muses quietly. As Xena is not one to talk much, I know she's stewing about something.

'Yeah.' I don't really want to reflect on it much. I stare at the ground, watching as my staff moves across the dirt.

'Did you really love him?' She asks out of nowhere.

'Perdicus?' She just nods. I sigh, taking a moment to process my own thoughts. 'Yes. I've known him most of my life, and he's really the only person who ever seemed to love me.'

'Come on, that's not true.' She scoffs.

'He didn't really want too much from me, and he was so accepting of you.' I laugh to myself. 'He even said we could name our first child after you.' She gives me a slightly surprised look, but I ignore it. 'That's what we talked about that night, you.' I go over the memory in my head. 'Sounds weird when I think about it now, but you were all I could think about.' I shake my head, pushing the thoughts away. 'Well I guess there won't be another Xena running around.' I grin, hoping to ease the tension I feel coming from her.

'I'm sorry.' She's said this many times already, but I can tell each time she means it.

'Wasn't meant to be? Fate? I don't know but there's nothing to be done about it now. I just have to learn to cope.' I shrug my shoulders. The pain isn't as bad as it was, but it's still there. My stomach growls breaking me out of the past and back into the present. Xena is laughing, her hand coming to my stomach to pat it affectionately.

'Hungry?'

'Just a little.' I can't help but laugh too. Xena stops suddenly, her hand still on my stomach. Her face looks worried and pensive. 'What?' She's staring at her hand on my stomach. 'What?' Her eyes finally drift up, meeting mine. She swallows heavily, an act which causes me to panic.

'Gabrielle. How is it you've gained weight when you can barely keep anything down?' At first I'm completely insulted that she's calling me fat.

'What?!' I slap her hand away. 'Xena, there's no need to be mean. If you think I need to lose…'

'No.' She cuts me off, her face still very pensive. 'That's not what I mean.' She averts her eyes, struggling to speak.

'Xena, whatever it is, tell me.' I soften my voice, try to encourage her.

'Gabrielle.' She turns back to me. 'Do you think you could be pregnant?' I begin to choke on my own spittle, sending me into a coughing fit.

'Cant. Not after one time. Can I?' She shakes her head slowly in affirmation. 'You're kidding right?' Her mouth opens and closes a few times. Suddenly I'm captivated by my own abdomen. I stare down at it as if I've never seen it before and it's some new wonder to me. I become week, dropping to my knees I sit on my heels, numb. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel right now. Happy or sad?

Tears fall from my eyes just from the pure shock. Xena is saying something; crouching down in front of me, her hands grabbing my face. I see her, but I don't. I feel detached from my body, from everything. I'm lost in some sort of endless limbo of torture.

'Xena, don't leave me.' The only words I can seem to vocalize. I'm afraid that now she'll leave me behind, just when I've got her back.

'I would never leave you.' She pulls me into a hug. 'Never.' Her breathless whisper in my ear. I'm not so sure though. How can she travel around with a defenseless pregnant woman? And for a second I was foolish to believe that we had finally put all this in the past.

'I'm sorry.' I begin to stammer, repeating the sentence over and over.

'Gabrielle stop.' Xena pulls away, her hands grasping my shoulders as she looks deep into my eyes. 'There's nothing to be sorry for. You're going to be a mother.' She smiles reassuringly. But I don't know if I'm ready for this right now.

'I don't know if I can do it.' I feel myself slipping into panic, but I can't stop. 'Xena?' I don't know why I'm pleading with her, or what I'm pleading for. She pulls back into her embrace.

'I'll help you. We can get through this together.' She whispers in my ear. Gently, she urges me back to my feet, though she never lets go of me. 'Do you want to go home?'

'No!' I'm lucky that this is because of Perdicus and not a random man, but I do not want to face my parents and their pitying looks right now.

'Ok, ok.' She pulls away from me finally as my tears begin to ease. 'How about Amphipolis?' I shake my head yes. I can't think past this minute, I don't know where I want to go or what I want to do.

'Let's ride.' Without waiting she pulls me up on Argo and sets off at a fast trot.

As we ride into Amphipolis, I am no less shocked then I was a few days ago. Xena has been forcing me to move, eat, breathe, to basically be human. I'm lost in my own brain, and the worst part is that I know it's stupid. I have a life within me, Perdicus' child.

I thought maybe my life could go on as it had before. I'll travel with Xena, help her defend the week, and be with the only person that makes me feel safe. Now I find myself terrified of so many things. With this child will I be able to move on? I'm afraid that I'll look at my baby and think only of Callisto as she killed my husband. I wasn't even married a whole day.

What I'm finding I'm most afraid of is Xena leaving me. By all rights she should, but I can't seem to let her go, not even in my imagination. I'm vaguely aware of life passing by around me, of Xena taking me to a room at her mother's Inn. They talk, huddled just at the edge of my vision. I can't bring myself to listen or care about anything they are saying or doing.

I feel lost. My rational side is being beaten down by all the emotions and memories that happened so recently. I watch as they come in and out of the room. Xena and Cyrene taking turns sitting next to me, trying to coax me into some sort of movement. I can see all this, but I'm not compelled to move or react.

I don't think I've fallen asleep once. The sun has come up and gone down, up and down; but the time seems endless to me. At some point I find myself wrapped up in Xena's arms as she whispers in my ear. Her voice is pulling me back to a reality I'm not sure I'm ready to face. I begin to fight with myself, fight to stay lost in the darkness. But everything is rushing at me and I can't stop the assault.

My tears come thick and relentlessly. Sobs wrack through my body as Xena holds on tight. Eventually I cry till I have no more tears and no more energy, and I finally succumb to sleep.