Hey, everyone. This is my first story, so I dont want to say go easy on me because I want to get your advice. But please remember that this is my first, so I it won't be perfect. I'm sorry for any errors. I tried to get them all, but no guarentees.

Disclamer: I own nothing except the storyline.

Prologue

I remember her so well. I remember her brown eyes and light brown hair. But most of all, I remember her love. It's that love that got me through the darkest part of my life. In my dreams, I can still feel her body next to mine, her lips on my forehead. I didn't know what love was like, and to be honest, I didn't really believe in love to begin with.

I sound so self-absorbed, just talking about myself. But to understand my story, you have to understand me. My life wasn't hard in the beginning. I had loving parents (well, kind of loving—they were a little judgmental and argumentative) and two brothers I loved to pull pranks on. For so long, I was happy. I usually got what I wanted and if I didn't, I would fight until I got it. I always loved to fight; it got me to where I am now.

I had a bad ass reputation among my peers. I had plenty of sarcasm and I would give my teachers a taste of my snarky attitude. I really only had one friend though. Her name was Harper. She had her quirks and always wore household items, but she was kind to me. I suppose she still is, but we don't really talk much anymore. I've grown too sullen and hostile to allow a friend in.

The darkness within me has changed my life; I think everyone knows that by now. We were never really together, no matter how much I wanted us to be. I loved her more than anything, and I wish she was still around to help me survive this life. Maybe we can be together in our next life. I like to think we will be.

When I really think about it, I can't really tell you why I loved her. There was no single reason to it. It was simply her. Her entire being was so alluring to me, and I couldn't live without it. I still can't, and I suppose that's why I have such a hard time these days. She knew me better than everyone. She knew things about me that I hadn't even told Harper yet. And I never really had to tell her. She simply knew. I wish I could see her and look at her; I just wish I could hold her one last time. Because she meant so much to me, and its so hard to let her go.

I don't really know how to describe the love we had together. We were perfect together, and I never say that 'p' word without cause. Being together, it just felt right. No matter what anyone else thought, we were beautiful together. I trusted her with my life, and I feel that she didn't feel the same way. I know she did though. I just can't forget what she did, and how much I still hurt because of it.

But anyway, back to describing love. Well, I can say it was an oxymoron. It was terribly slow, yet incredibly fast. It felt like all my walls were coming down, even when I continued to build them. I felt as if I had just jumped off a cliff, and yet I felt indescribably safe. It was never suppose to be hard, and when we were together it never was. It was the most amazing part of my life.

However, all things come to an end. It doesn't matter who or what it is, it won't last. Trust me, I've learned this the hard way. Nothing is ever going to be easy anymore. I didn't think it would really end. I believed that she really loved me. I believed her when she told me that we would be together forever. Guess I should learn not to be so trusting huh?

By the way, my name is Alex. This is my story, starting at the beginning of my first love.