Hello, everyone!

I know, I know, I'm an awful writer because I never update. And I know, I know, I was SUPPOSED to finish this fic the same week as chp. 9… In my defense, though, I was on vacation over spring break and didn't have access to Internet. Plus, I've been really busy!

So here is the last (*sniff) chapter of Avengers Slumber Party…

By the way, this chapter is maybe T+ for some more sexual references (though nothing too extreme, I hope…)

Avengerscrazygal, your ideas are AMAZING! I think I'm going to end up putting most of them into the (gasp) sequel so I didn't end up typing 20 pages or something. But thank you for the brilliant ideas! Definitely will do my best to put them to use… and hopefully do them justice.

AngelofMischief, LOVE the idea! It's going to be hard to work that into this chapter… so look out for it in the (double-gasp) sequel!

I know I said no pairings, but just for funsies, I'm throwing in some Stony.

Anyway, I'll stop talking now so we can all enjoy the last (*sniff) few moments of the Avengers Slumber Party…

As Thor sat shivering in the corner, Tony passed him the bottle, and the god nudged it with his foot, shuddering too hard to do much else. Still, a little shove from Thor is a lot of force, and the bottle spun around and around before at last coming to a halt pointing to Steve.

Thor looked at the captain, who looked somewhat miserably back at him. "Captain? Truth or dare?"

The captain sighed. "Dare. I guess. Can't be worse than having you lot make fun of me."

Tony waved a beer bottle around, showing no signs of remorse. "That's your problem for not getting it on in the ninety years of your life."

Steve glared at him.

Thor was absentmindedly stroking his sodden locks of hair in thought. "Hmm…" Then Clint, with an evil look on his face, sidled up to the Norse god and whispered something in his ear. The man's eyes bugged. "Friend Clint! That would be scandalous!"

Everyone (except Steve, who was gnawing on his lip nervously) guffawed at Thor's shocked expression and choice of words. Clint whispered some more, and then Thor let loose with booming laughter. "Yes, I do think that would make friend Nick uncomfortable."

"WHAT?" Fury bellowed. "If you two are scheming against me, I will personally castrate the both of you!"

"Nicky," Tony inquired innocently, "why do all of your threats involve fertility?"

Eight and a half seconds later, Tony was unconscious on the floor, and the game had resumed.

Clint frowned. "But my dare doesn't work without Tony."

"Wait a second," Steve said with a frown, putting two and two together. "You want me to –"

Natasha stabbed Tony with a syringe filled with some sort of revitalizer, and with a start, the billionaire awoke. "What? What happened? Did Cap get tired of the jokes and take me on the floor? If so, then Mr. Rogers, you certainly have more of a hammer down there than I expected… I can't move…"

Steve turned scarlet. Seeing this reaction, Tony continued on with a smirk, "Though when I'm able to walk again, I'm sure you'd enjoy a swing of my hammer. Let me tell you, it may not be supersoldier-serum enhanced, but boy, does that baby pack a punch –"

Steve did the honors of punching Tony in the jaw.

The billionaire was purple in a few different places at this point, and as he whined about all the pain some petulant superheroes could make, Thor said, "Friend Clint has requested that the Captain and the Man of Iron kiss full on the lips for five minutes."

Everyone's jaw dropped (except for Nick Fury, whose eyes just bulged a lot more than the others). Then everyone (excluding a beet-red Steve, a glaring Tony, and a stoic Fury, who was having difficulty keeping a straight face) burst into laughter.

"YES! YESYESYES OHMYGOODNESS YES!" Natasha cried.

Bruce wiped the corner of his eye. "Can I videotape this and send it out to all the screaming fangirls in the world? For that matter, can I sell this tape to a you-know-what company and make millions of dollars? I'm sure people of all genders would enjoy watching Captain America and Iron Man getting it on…"

"Dr. Banner," Fury cut in coldly, "if I so much as catch word of this incident hitting the Internet's restricted websites, I will personally cut off your fingers."

No one bothered to ask about the film industry.

Steve had by now collected himself enough to protest, "NO! Never!"

"Oh, can it, Captain," Natasha said icily. "If I can eat a spoonful of wasabi, you can pretend to like Tony for five minutes more than the rest of us."

"Can I chicken?" pleaded the poor Captain.

"No chickens allowed," admonished Clint. "No one else used one, are you really going to be a baby and be the only person?"

Now, Steve Rogers did not exactly have a very large ego. Nor was it so bruised that he would be willing (normally) to take on a stupid challenge at the consequence of looking bad. But for whatever the reason, when it comes to Truth or Dare, people tend to take looking weak a little more seriously.

Steve's face turned stony. (Pun completely intended.) There was a long moment of deliberation before at last he said quietly, "Fine."

Tony skipped over to him like a delighted schoolgirl and, before Steve could even steel himself or someone could get a timer out, launched himself at the other man and wrapped his arms around him. (Tony, by the way, was more drunk than he'd ever been in his life.)

This time, everyone's (and I mean everyone's) jaws dropped. Steve's certainly did, and by the manner of kissing, it meant that Tony's did too.

After a full minute of near silence (except for what sounded bizarrely like whispers of "help me" from Steve and, even more bizarrely, sounds of happiness from Tony), Clint blurted out, "Um, one minute done."

There was another awkward minute (in which Steve had given up and pushing Tony away and just sat still and took it) before Clint mumbled, "Two minutes done."

Steve sat there and took it for another solid minute (while Tony began to fall forward onto the other man's chest, less and less capable of coherent thought), during which Natasha had begun to fidget uncomfortably, Bruce had taken off his glasses (it made it less uncomfortable to watch), Clint had started polishing his arrows (obtained from who knew where), Thor was fiddling with his hair again, and Nick Fury's eye twitched repeatedly.

"Um… two minutes left," Clint said.

Steve had begun to hesitantly put his arms around Tony (more to hold him up than anything else – holding up a man nearly his body weight was less uncomfortable for a supersoldier than being fallen upon by a man kissing him feverishly), and by the time the fourth minute was up, his lips showed the slightest sign of movement.

"One minute left."

The movement became a little more pronounced, and by the end of the minute, the two were kissing like any ordinary boyfriend and girlfriend except… well… they were a) both male, and b) superheroes.

At this point, Bruce and Thor were both unashamedly averting their eyes, while Clint and Natasha winced from time to time but refused to look away for fear of looking weak. And Fury? Fury sat there like a stone (except for the occasional eye twitch).

At last, Clint choked out, "Okay, stop, just… please… stop," the two broke apart (slowly).

There was silence for a long time before Bruce groaned and said, "My eyes have lost their virginity."

"Okay," Tony said briskly (or as briskly as he could slur the words together, "what's next?" He winked lopsidedly at Steve and rubbed a hand through his now-tousled hair. "Next time you're bored, Captain, you're welcome to join me in my room."

Bruce groaned again. "And there go my ears."

Steve had recovered (somewhat) and, his face cherry-red, retorted, "In your dreams."

"No, I don't think we'll be dreaming in our time together. I think we'll be much too busy."

Steve turned even redder and chose not to reply.

Clint nudged him. "Spin the bottle."

What do you know, it landed on Tony.

"Tony," Steve said slowly. "Truth or dare?"

Tony belched. "Dare me, Cap."

"Um…"

Natasha saw her chance. She hurried over and whispered something in the captain's ear, who blushed a furious shade of red again. "Is that really necessary?" he asked sheepishly.

She gave an evil grin. "Absolutely."

Steve sighed. "Natasha, you say it."

"I'd be happy to." She turned to Tony with a glint in her eye. Suddenly, Tony looked a little more nervous.

"Tony," she said slowly, savoring each syllable. "I dare you to strip down and dance to 'I Will Survive.' While singing it."

He shrugged. "Easy enough."

"In Times Square."

Tony's jaw dropped. "What? Are you kidding me?"

At the same time, Fury stood up and shook his head. "NO! We are NOT having a press disaster just because Tony Stark couldn't give up a dare! Do you know what that would do to our reputation?"

Natasha shrugged indifferently. "He can go on his own. We'll just set up some video cameras and get some good entertainment out of it. Director, you have to admit, Tony deserves public humiliation for his rash deeds. It's just the right dose of medicine for a man with an ego his size," she added, with a distasteful look in his direction.

Tony shrugged. "What can I say? People love me."

"And," Natasha added, "it should repel enemies. I mean, who would want to fight someone doing that? It's just saying, 'Hello, I'm not someone you need to worry about.'"

"Excuse me?" Tony spluttered.

Fury, on the other hand, was stroking his chin thoughtfully. "I suppose it makes sense…"

"Besides," she almost purred, "no one would expect anything else from playboy Tony Stark, right?" she asked, shooting a glance over at the man in question (who was making kissy faces at a red-faced Steve).

Fury actually cracked a smile. "Guess not."

"Okay then!" Natasha said a little too brightly. "Let's do it! Tony, go learn the words to the song. I'll set up the cameras." Then she was off and out the door.

They all sat there in stunned silence. "Can I please get back at her for this?" pleaded Tony.

Fury checked his watch. "Nope. It's almost 7, and you all need to report back to the Helicarrier at 8. I say this be the last dare. The epic finale, if you will."

Tony facepalmed. "Why do I have to be the epic finale?"

"I thought you enjoyed having the last word," Steve put in.

"Well, yeah, but I also enjoy my reputation!"

Natasha returned grinning widely. "I hope you learned that song well, Tony!" she chirped. "Because I got the media's attention!"

"WHAT?" bellowed Fury. "I told you not to instigate a media fiasco!"

"It wasn't my fault, Director," Natasha said innocently. "I just got some weird stares putting cameras up in Times Square, and I left as the cameras arrived. All purely coincidental."

Everyone facepalmed.

Tony steeled himself. "Well," he said, visibly mustering his strength, "if we're going to give the media a show, it might as well be a good one."

Thanks to his limo, Tony soon arrived at Times Square. (A quick-thinking Natasha had also placed video cameras in there to make sure Tony didn't chicken. How did she convince his butler? Well, let's say a little seduction from the Black Widow and some money works wonders…)

Being Times Square, the area was already busy enough. As soon as Tony Stark stepped out of his limo, however, an almost immediate reaction began. Waves of fangirls streamed towards him, and the press crowded closer to snap pictures and ask questions like, "Mr. Stark! Can you explain these pictures?" and "Mr. Stark! Who is the man in this image?" and "Mr. Stark! Is your behind really as attractive as it appears in these grainy photos?"

He held a hand up, and the crowd miraculously went silent. "Um," he began, so unlike his usual snarky speech, "so… I'm drunk?"

The crowd went wild.

He shook his head. "I mean… gah, I wasn't supposed to say that… I mean… Okay, let's just do this."

He snapped his fingers, and SHIELD personnel filed out to surround him and protect his health from desperate fangirls. At the same time, the ground he was standing on began to rise until he was ten feet off the ground (courtesy of SHIELD's new invention, a square that could rise in seconds). Everyone went silent.

Then "I Will Survive" began to blare over the speakers.

Screams of happy fangirls ensued, and a wave of flashing cameras made Tony wobble a little. Then the words began, and he reluctantly opened his mouth…

"At first I was afraid… I was petrified…" He turned beet red (a highly unusual occurrence that made Steve snicker back at the tower) while clasping his hands over his heart.

Exactly 23 fangirls fainted on the spot.

"Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side…"

Another 12 fangirls fainted away.

"But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong,

And I grew strong!" He bared a muscle, resulting in a high-pitched shriek from the audience. "And I learned how to get along…"

"AND SO YOU'RE BACK," he bellowed, ripping off his t-shirt. SHIELD employees became involved in the most violent game of Red Rover ever as literal waves of fangirls scrambled to try to get the t-shirt. Back at the tower, the entire room exploded into laughter, Clint laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his face. "FROM OUTER SPACE! I JUST WALKED IN TO FIND YOU HERE WITH THAT SAD LOOK UPON YOUR FACE!" he cried, pointing to the crowd, which was now clapping along.

"I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key," he said in a more mellow tone, wagging his finger at the front row. Ambulances were arriving to cart away all the unconscious fangirls. "If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me."

"Oh now GO!" he hollered, completely red in the face (from mortification or lack of oxygen or just too much alcohol, who knew at this point). "Walk out the door!" He pulled off his shoes. "Just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore!" He pitched the shoes into the crowd, knocking out one unfortunate newswoman and breaking more than a few camera lenses. One girl picked up the shoe and inhaled the scent before promptly turning a slight shade of green and wobbling on her feet. She was run over by ten girls all trying to get an article of Tony Stark's clothing.

"Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? Did you think I'd crumble?" Tears were streaming down his face, and he choked out, "Did you think I'd lay down and die?"

"Oh no, not I! I will survive!" He even shook his hips a little, causing Fury to choke on his drink while Bruce turned red from laughter. "Oh, as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive. I've got all my life to live, and I've got all my love to give," he sang, running his hands along his chest. More fainting. More laughing back at the tower. Natasha was literally rolling on the floor, gasping for breath.

"And I'll survive, I will survive, hey, hey!"

During the musical interlude, he danced around on his little square suggestively, even going as far as to wink at some members in the audience. SHIELD helicopters were dropping off reinforcements at the barrier to keep the agents from being overwhelmed by screaming women (and, to be honest, some men, but hey, we don't judge here).

"It took all the strength I had not to fall apart," he sang mournfully. "Just trying to mend the pieces of my broken heart…" Then he narrowed his eyes (Tony was really getting into this) and belted out as he stripped his socks off, "And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself… I used to cry," he said, wiping his streaming eyes with his socks before gagging at the smell, causing him to come in late for his next words, "but now I hold my head up high!" He tossed the socks into the crowd like stink bombs… but very, very welcomed stink bombs.

"And you see in me somebody new, I'm not that chained up little person," he called out as he undid his belt, "still in love with you!" He pulled it out of the loops and threw it to a screaming audience as he sang, "And so you felt like dropping in, and just expect me to be free…" He was undoing his pants button, and as his fly came down, Times Square echoed with the sirens of ambulances carting away women by the hundreds.

"But now I'm saving all my loving… For someone who's loving me!" And he pulled his pants down. The press was going crazy. The fangirls were choking. The Avengers were dying of laughter. "Oh, now go!" he said, flipping the crowd off, "Walk out the door! Just turn around now," and he did so, baring his nearly-naked hiney to the audience. "'Cause you're not welcome anymore!" He ripped off his pants and flung them to the audience. Unfortunately, they fell on a SHIELD agent's head, and the poor man had to use all of his skills to avoid being clobbered by fangirls.

"Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?" he demanded. "Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?" Tony fell down and stood back up with some difficulty as he sang, "Oh, no not I! I will survive! Oh, as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive! I've got all my life to live," he screeched, slowly pulling on the band of his underpants, making his fans go insane. "And I've got all my love to give, and I'll survive… I will survive… hey, hey!" And he pulled off his underwear with a flourish.

Screams of ecstasy from the crowd intermingled with screams of disgust, and the cameras flashed incessantly.

Meanwhile, the Avengers sat there, stunned. Well, not really. They were all just laughing so hard that it was difficult to move. Even Fury was laughing, a sort of creepy bellow that made the others laugh even more. Natasha wiped tears from her eyes. "Oh, that was good."

Steve had a furious blush on his face, and he choked out, "I think I'm scarred… for life."

Thor grinned at his friends. "Friend Tony is a truly spectacular dancer!"

Fury guffawed so loudly, the windows shook.

A quick-thinking Bruce ran and turned the TV on. Every single news channel was playing a video of billionaire Tony Stark dancing in a way that only belonged in strip clubs, most definitely NOT in Times Square. The headline was, "Iron Man Compromised?" A live feed was playing next to a replay of the whole incident.

Meanwhile, Tony had started Gangnam-styling, spinning around and around and singing out loudly and just as off-key as before. Then a herd of police officers arrived, and someone shot him with a tranquilizer gun.

"Thank yooouuu, eveeerybooody…" he slurred, spinning around and around before falling off the square.

The crowd shrieked, and SHIELD agents flocked to catch him just as he threw up and spattered some fangirl with the contents of his stomach. She fainted happily (or maybe it was from the alcohol fumes?) as one agent signaled the helicopter, which swooped in to pick them up.

"I was beautiful, wasn't I?" Tony asked sleepily to the disgusted agent carrying him.

"I'll let you ask the Director," the agent said slyly.

Tony was dropped off at the tower, cleaned up and dressed by some SHIELD agents. He stumbled in (the tranquilizer hadn't worn off yet) and asked, "Heeellooo?"

All of the Avengers turned to look at him. There were two heartbeats of silence. Then everyone burst out into laughter.

Clint stood to give him a standing ovation, and the others quickly moved to join him. "That," the archer spluttered, "was just fantastic."

"I don't know about that," Steve said quickly, his blush quickly creeping up. "It was actually kind of disturbing."

Tony winked at him. "You know you enjoyed it, Cap'n."

Everyone laughed, even a more-than-slightly mortified Steve.

Tony wavered a little before crashing to the floor, passed out. No one bothered to break his fall. Which was a good thing, because he threw up again.

Fury wrinkled his nose as he checked his watch. "Well, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm kind of glad I stayed to supervise. I mean," he added hastily, "without me, I'm sure you all would've thrown someone off the tower or something."

Clint blinked. "Well," he said with an evil grin, "there's always next time…"

YAAAY!

I hope you all enjoyed it. I'm glad I FINALLY finished this fic… it is, after all, my first… More to come, now that I know that I can actually finish! (Even though I was really off schedule… completely missed the deadline, but whatever!)

The Gangnam Style dancing came from Friday's Tonight Show interview of Robert Downey, Jr. Apparently, he spent his birthday in South Korea and even did some dancing for them… Go look it up, you lot!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this 10 page chapter (!), but most of all, I hope you enjoyed the Avengers Slumber Party!

See you in the sequel!