Armpit sat down at his computer and turned it on. His friends had told him to go on Fanfiction to see all the crazy shit that was going down in the Holes archive.

Armpit doesn't even know what an archive is!

The teenaged reached the site and made his way to the Holes section.

"Let's see, here's a Squid story... Another Squid story... A Zigzag story... Another Squid story... Squid, Zigzag, Squid... Why is everything about Squid? I mean, he's my man but the kid cries like, every night. I don't remember that ever being cool."

"Okay, I'll just read one. Squid is probably an easy character to write for." Armpit smiled the idea, "yeah, I'm so complex that it's hard to put me into words."

Armpit frowned when he read the first few words, "Okay, not that one." he clicked back and started reading a different story. "It's exactly the same as the last one!"

Armpit read the first chapter of fifteen other stories but they were all the same. "Why are there girls going to Camp Green Lake? It doesn't make any sense! And why am I always described as a smelly, fat black man?"

"I mean I guess I don't smell like roses and I'm not going to deny my skin tone but I am not fat! There's just more of me to love!" Armpit grumbled. "That's what Mama always says at least..."

He noticed the different rectangles at the top that were labeled. "Oh, I can sort through all this Squid shit? Yes please!"

Armpit started playing around with the settings and changed it so only stories about him would show up. "What? Are you kidding me? Three stories? Three! What is wrong with the world today?"

"Squid and Ziggy have hundreds while I have a measly three? Screw this! I'm going to go fight a dragon, because I'm fucking awesome like that!" Armpit yelled as he slammed the power button to the computer. "Do you see Squid being awesome like me? Noooo, he's too busy being a man whore with Zigzag to be like me!"