A/N: I have been encouraged by your response to my last fiction (thanks to everyone the read it!) and so I decided to post this one too. It's a song fiction, based on Red and Black from the musical Les Misérables. I understand that it might seem too much 'dramatic' for a subtle drama like The Good Wife but it felt right to me. Let me know what you think. It's in Will's POV and it includes spoilers until Red Team, Blue Team.

Enjolras:
The time is near...
So near... it's stirring the blood in their veins!

The ride in that luxurious elevator towards that ridiculously overpriced suite was a masterpiece of restraint. After years spent secretly and not-so-secretly coveting her, Alicia had agreed to what was sure to be an exceptional moment. He was eager like an adolescent on a first date but he felt the hesitation of his companion and the last thing he wanted was to scare her into retreat. So, despite his singing blood, he moved just his hand, slowly, gently but firmly enough to dismiss the idea of any "maybes" on his part. Then, he started kissing her, coaxing her to respond to him as he had always wished. When she acquiesced to his silent desire, all bets were off.

And yet beware...

The key card that wouldn't work felt like the umpteenth omen. Could the universe give them a break for an hour ? Was that too much to ask to the Gods in charge of their fates ? He felt frustrated at the delay. One second more somehow felt longer than the years before. When she took the card with her smug smile he answered with an incredulous one of his own, ecstatic at breaking his tension. The light on the door turned green and all the fears dissipated.

Don't let the wine go to your brains!

The thud of the door closing was not enough to snap him out of his dreamlike state. Except that his post-coital glow was all too real. The fantasy that had plagued him ever since she had started working at his firm had been acted in the bed he was currently standing him and even though he considered himself a fairly creative person, no image his brain had concocted had even come close to the actual situation. No 8000$ wine could ever make him feel like this. No exhilarating case in court. No Bulls playoff match. He was drunk on lust sated and on that other l-word that he dared not admit to himself. Not again, not yet.

For the army we fight is a dangerous foe
With the men and the arms that we never can match
Oh, it's easy to sit here and swat 'em like flies
But the national guard will be harder to catch.

Not yet because Alicia had left him because of her kids. She had Zach and Grace to take care of. Two teenagers that had more power than an army . How could he match what Peter had given her? Alicia had a very strong sense of family and a burning need not to imitate her own mother. She had told him after a very long studying session of Family law. She had told him about her parents' divorce and how much it had hurt her and her brother. So he knew. He knew Zach and Grace were no temporary obstacles. They were a ticking time bomb.

We need a sign
To rally the people
To call them to arms
To bring them in line!
Marius, you're late.

He had been very late to the party. No, not in developing feelings. Those had come easily enough. One semester at Georgetown and he was lost. He still could recall vividly to his mind the image of that first Christmas in his post-Alicia calendar. He had been in a pub with his high school friends. He was a much worse liar back then and they had immediately spotted that there was something different within him.

Jean Provaire:
What's wrong today?
You look as if you've seen a ghost.
Grantaire:
Some wine and say what's going on!

They had immediately pried into his affairs. There was no way in which his behaviour could have been caused just by the stress of being a freshman in law school. Not for Will Gardner, life of the party and study machine extraordinaire. It had taken some wine to get him to talk.

Marius:
A ghost you say... a ghost maybe
She was just like a ghost to me
One minute there, and she was gone!

He had tried to keep his cards as close to the vest as possible. But he had let it slip that her name was Alicia, she was a freshman like him, she was smart and crazily competitive, she had a great laugh and an equally great body. He had used more cheese in that one conversation than in the 15 years that had followed.

Grantaire:
I am agog!
I am aghast!
Is Marius in love at last?
I have never heard him 'ooh' and 'aah'
You talk of battles to be won
But here he comes like Don Ju-an
It's better than an o-per-a!

He had left them all quite speechless. Will Gardner was a serial dater but he didn't 'ooh' and 'aah'. Women had always been drawn to him and he had taken advantage of this situation. No fuss around it. No radios outside the windows nor thoughtfully arranged presents or heavy-breathing declarations. In a semester, Alicia had transformed him into the worst kind of stereotype, the kind of man he would have laughed about a few months prior. She was unaware, of course, but all the others around him, those that remembered a Will B.A. couldn't help but notice.

Enjolras:
It is time for us all
To decide who we are...
Do we fight for the right
To a night at the opera now?
Have you asked of yourselves
What's the price you might pay?
Is it simply a game
For rich young boys to play?

Jason had not taken it well. To him Will's current girlfriend worked perfectly. She didn't take too much of his time when he was home, and he didn't have to listen to him blabbing about her when they hang out. Will had laughed then. In many circumstances, he had to admit, he had projected the image of being a man's man. But he was more than that. This more included a penchant for quick-witted brunettes who didn't like being treated as dolls. He was at least willing to consider foregoing nights in a bar or afternoons playing basketball to embrace nights at the opera or whatever else Alicia craved. After all, hadn't it been his dream to become one of the best lawyers in the US? Lawyers traded pastimes for work. Who said that it was nobler than trading them for the company of an extraordinary woman?

The color of the world
Is changing
Day by day...
Red - the blood of angry men!
Black - the dark of ages past!
Red - a world about to dawn!
Black - the night that ends at last!

His attitude was changing day by day. By the time the break was over he had dumped his girlfriend convinced to have fallen in love. He had felt ready to turn the page, to witness the dawn of a new day in Will Gardner's life. But back at Georgetown watching her, spending time with her felt amazing and at the same time terrifying. Being detached from women had prevented him from ever experiencing that love that went beyond mere lust and infatuation but had also kept him from being torn apart. The more the days passed the more he understood the power that Alicia had over him. What if she rejected him? She had caught the attention of many of his male companions. What if she preferred someone else over him? Could Will Gardner ever recover from that kind of pain and move forward without being irreparably different? At the end his fear to gamble it all had decided for him. Alicia had started seeing Peter and all was shattered. He let her go. He didn't run after her. Who was he, a novice to love, to be sure that he would have made her happier than Peter? But he blamed himself most of all. Alicia could never answer a question he hadn't asked. After more than 15 years he still hadn't learned his lesson. When Alicia had told him in tears "It's too much", he had released her without fighting, without asking whether in the future he could help making that too much bearable. He hadn't wanted to tax her with his doubts. He hadn't said anything when she had come to him terribly frightened at the idea that their relationship (he refused to categorize it as an affair) could come to light. He hadn't spoken his hurt at being considered a dirty little secret to be swept under the rug. He worked with her, he loved her and endured. All to make her life easier. Always for her.

Marius:
Had you been there tonight
You might know how it feels
To be struck to the bone
In a moment of breathless delight!
Had you been there tonight
You might also have known
How the world may be changed
In just one burst of light!

Hearing her in court destroy their client on the stand with that seemingly effortless ability of hers had been the last straw. She was punishing him for the revoked partnership offer. As if he could ever had anything to do with something that hurt her. Him that had borne all that pain to avoid her a difficult conversation. If she didn't trust him after all he had done in these years, what was the point anymore? So the anger emerged and he lashed out at her for her behavior. It took a bit for him to realize why the spark in her eyes was so familiar. It was the same burst of light that she had had that first time he had argued her in Tort class, the same burst of light that she got when she wanted to try something new and different. A burst of light that meant lust and danger. He recognized the warning but he forged ahead. When Alicia's eyes were chanting like that, it was a siren call he had to answer. He took his chances.

And what was right
Seems wrong
And what was wrong
Seems right...

In those few moments his lips touched hers he could not understand how a code that kept them apart could in any way be considered moral. Was unhappiness prescribed in order to be moral? Did wanting her to abandon her husband and his campaign and give them a real chance make him a heartless home-wrecker? When their breaths mingled he felt he would bear the label proudly if it meant their proximity never had to stop. Then his rationality intervened and he remembered why he had always acted the way he did. It was never to preserve his morality. It was to preserve hers, for her never to question hers. So he did the "right" thing and let her run away.

Grantaire:
Red...
Marius:
I feel my soul on fire!

Standing alone in her office he knew that he should feel some kind of guilt but he was electrified. One kiss with Alicia could set him on fire, not just physically but intellectually too. He wanted to chase her, make love to her in her car and then argue the case all the way to his home where he would lock her in for a scorching night.

Grantaire:
Black...
Marius:
My world if she's not there...

Unfortunately wishing something didn't make it come true. He was left with a probably-sleepless, alone night ahead of him, dreaming of a woman who would berate herself for kissing him. A night in the dark of his room hoping somehow that all that love he felt would go away and give him a possibility at a future in which he actually liked his life.

Chorus:
Red...
Marius
The color of desire!

He was glad that for the conversation they were having she wasn't wearing the red outfit that she had donned in court a few days prior. She was always alluring but when she wore red he was reminded that she could choose not to be a good girl when she wanted. Beige was better. Beige was neutral. Beige helped in concealing his urge to kiss her again and again while she was asking whether the promotion depended on their stolen moment. If only she knew how much he admired her as a professional she would never doubt.

Chorus:
Black...
Marius:
The color of despair!

Despair was a state of being reserved for life-changing, devastating emotions. Was it possible to feel despair when she had kept him at arm's length so many times before? Despair was the only word that could encapsulate totally his feeling when at his suggestion that they never stay in a room together she had answered with an ok. Not with a resounding "No", not with a "Will, isn't that excessive?". Ok meant no more talks. Ok meant no more late night strategy sessions. Ok meant distance. Ok was what she said. Despair was what he felt.

Enjolras
Marius, you're no longer a child
I do not doubt you mean it well
But now there is a higher call
Who cares about your lonely soul
We strive toward a larger goal
Our little lives don't count at all!

She said she was sorry. His second nature was to make her comfortable, to make it so her apology wouldn't even have to exist. What did Will's suffering mean when stacked against the highness of politics, of the governorship of Illinois and maybe even more? What argument did he stand to make for himself when she could hurt the people she loved the most in the word? His pain didn't count. He blamed himself. If he could stop loving her, the pain would disappear.

Enjolras and Chorus:
Red - the blood of angry men!

He blamed mostly himself but she deserved to be held partly accountable. She kept keeping him on the hook, not giving him any closure. Ok was not enough. "Ok Will, it's time to let go of your fantasy". "Ok Will, especially because I'm going back to Peter". "Ok Will, it's over forever". Wasn't he owed at least that? Ok was sloppy. Ok made him angry.

Black - the dark of ages past!

It was mostly upsetting because it reminded him of the years in limbo. Those years just after Alicia had married Peter in which he had been in a Purgatory of his own making. He had wondered more than once if she had chosen Peter because he never made himself clear, because he hadn't had the courage of making his feelings plain to her. Before losing her again, for good, he wanted to ask the question.

Red - a world about to dawn!

And she had kissed him back. She had come to him when the two of them separated. Was it so absurd to believe that she could do it again? After the elections, of course. He wouldn't ask to withdraw her support. But later, after all the votes were cast, he supposed she had to make a decision about her marriage. Maybe if he offered a steady alternative, if he went to her with a plan, maybe this time he could be lucky. Maybe it could mean a new shot at a real love.

Black - the night that ends at last!

It could also mean ultimate rejection. At the very least, though, he would be granted leave from Purgatory. Maybe he was slated to start his penance in Hell, maybe he could rejoice indulging in Heavenly pleasures but no more time spent rewriting history with ifs. She would hate this conversation, he knew. But he had been selfless enough with her to believe that she could stand withstanding awkwardness and whatever other feeling she would have to endure and still be her friend. If not, well, she wasn't as deserving of his love as he thought. He would ask, as he should have asked the day of Grace's disappearance. "Will you want us in a few months Alicia?". Nine words that would put it all on the table. One deed that could change history.

He had valued the pros and cons of surprising her or maybe of giving her the heads-up before THE talk. He decided against it. Ultimately it was a question of whether her feelings were strong enough to accept his plan. You can't reason feelings.

So one night when they were alone again at the office, he took courage and went to her office:

"Alicia we need to talk".

I marked this as complete because I am not sure that I will be able to write the conversation in a satisfying manner that stays in character and because even before the conversation I would like to add Alicia's POV leading to this moment. But before embarking in the task I would love to know if you liked this one. It took a bit a life of his own. Hope you enjoy!