I don't know why everybody hates me so much. But maybe I do, because now I hate me too. And right now, I really don't see the reason for trying. Or for talking. Or for even breathing.

I'm trying not to cry while writing this. But I'm so sorry. I can't do it anymore. What's the point? I can't take it if you're against me too. And you left me. Why did you leave me? I loved you. I love you. Is she better than me? I know she is, but I thought you loved me. Can I ask you something? What's it like being so perfect? I wouldn't know.

I don't know if you care or not. But let's pretend like you do, just for a minute. Please, just for my peace of mind. There are knots in my stomach. I feel sick. I feel so alone right now. There is a haze clouding my judgement. There is a fight in my head every day. And I don't know why. I hate feeling like I'm falling into this black hole. I'm trying to scrape back up but when I get close I just slide back again. Like I'm being pulled underwater. I can't even breathe. My breath catches in my throat and I have to close my eyes just to breathe again. I'm just trying to swim through it. I've never been a good swimmer though.

And you'll probably think it's my fault. I don't blame you. I wish I didn't blame myself but I do. I don't want this. I just want to be able to think clearly again. I can't sleep at night. I get so many bad thoughts. Something bad has to happen, right? Or I wouldn't feel like this, I'm sure. I know I'm nothing special. Just another nothing, I know. Maybe I will never be who I was before. Maybe I don't even know her anymore. I'm just trying to find myself, and it's really hard. I don't know who to be. I just want to impress you. You probably won't read this. But if you do, I'm so sorry. I think I already said that, but I really am. I'm not even bothered. If I got hit by a train tomorrow, I'd be relieved. I shouldn't say that, I know. I can't help it. I don't want to die. I just don't want to live.

It's so late. I have school tomorrow. I think I could fall asleep in school. Night time is too scary. Thoughts pop into my head. I don't want nightmares. I don't dream much. I'm like a zombie. I can't feel anything anymore. I feel so numb. I could cry all day though. I suppose I should start wrapping this up. I could write for days. I used to care about how I look. I used to care about school. But now, I don't care. I do things slowly. I'm so tired. I want to sleep forever. I guess that's what my letter is about. I'm going to sleep forever. It will be so nice.

I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I don't mind if you don't love me back. It's okay, really. When your children point to the pictures, just please tell them my name. I'm numb and in pain at the same time. I don't know how. I don't think my friends know me anymore. I hope you know me still. I'll always love you. Give me one last kiss to the sky.

Yours forever,

Your Sleeping Beauty.