APH OTP TAPE

Manual

Hello my fellow Hetalian! If you have reading this manual, congratulations! That means you have found the "APH OTP Tape" and are now having a blast with your favourite pairing! If not so, you're propably wondering should you or should you not do this. Do it! Not many are lucky enough to have that chance. Any questions you might have are answered in this guide.

I. What is APH OTP Tape?

APH OTP Tape, officially Axis Powers Hetalia One True Pairing Tape, gives you the chance to meet the characters of your favourite ship! Not only that, they will appear in your room and you can interact with them! Just how cool is that? You can have a conversation with America, drink tea with England, praise Prussia's awesomeness and try to see Canada!...Who?

II. What happens if I watch the tape?

It depends. In most cases, your OTP appears in your room. If you have multiple OTPs, they all will be there. Before that happens, there will be some unusual electronic occurings, such as lights flicking, radios going on and off, stereos playing strange music, cellphones vibrating etc. All of these are normal events and necessary as they gather up energy to open a portal which will be used to snatch the characters from their world here. More about this in part IV.

III. Where can I find the tape?

Internet dear, internet! Go to the website "tapecursetube dot com " and voila! There you have it, the website that has every single cursed video in the world! Then search APH OTP Tape, and click the first result you get.

IV. What is the tape like and how does it work?

It is 7 seconds long and contains a picture of every single pairing there is. Yes, even the crack ones. It doesn't matter even if it's something like RomaniaXWy with some Cameroon on the side, the tape has it! Magical, isn't it? However, it may be that you will not be able to watch the tape fully, as the tape is desinged so. As soon as your favourite pairing appears, the screen will go blank. Do not worry, it's supposed to happen. After that, there will be one of the following texts on the screen:

"1t'5 t1m3 4 s0m3 APH 801, *your name*!"

"G3t r34dy 4 s0m3 APH yuri, *your name*!"

"H3r3 c0m3s s0m3 APH girlXboy, *your name*!"

Don't ask how it knows your name. It is a mystery. After that, there comes the scary part. Blue screen of Death. Yes, we are sorry about that. But before you refrain from watching the tape, read this: it will not destroy your computer. It's merely a programming mistake. It was supposed to be pink, but for some reason it became that way.

After that, lights will go off for a minute and every electrical device in your room will shut off. Be patient and don't move, it might cause problems with the tranportation of the characters. When the time is up, lights will be back, your computer will be back in the business and your favourite pairing is standing in your room.

NOTE: You will not be able to use internet for two hours after this incident. Following message will be in the screen:

"404. Page not found. You don't need this page anymore though, so what's the problem? :) Have fun with your OTP! Also, you can't use internet for a while just so you will have your fun. Bye! *kiss*"

V. Will the characters be aware of the existance of the tape?

No. You will have the pleasure of explaining it all by yourself! Also, they are not aware of what "shipping", "pairing" and "OTP" mean. And many other things...If your OTP has either Hungary or Japan, possibly both, you are lucky enough to not be yelled at (unless they don't like the pairing).

VI. The characters are really mad/confused/annoying! What am I supposed to do?

We apologize. But, let's pretend it's you who is yanked to another world when you are in the middle of something important. Wouldn't that be annoying? So it's quite easy to understand their anger. But, in case of utter confusion, here is a guide on how to deal with some characters (only the most common included).

Italy: Give him pasta, if he cries a lot, comfort him. Remember to hug him. Flirting is recommended.

Germany: Give him wurst and some bestiality porn. If you don't have any, give him a good excuse on why you watched the tape. It will be very hard to calm him down, so if your OTP contains Germany, we recommed you not to watch the tape. If you were a dumb fuck and have some so already, you're screwed.

Japan: This calm man will probably hide his feelings unless it's a pairing he does not approve. In that case, prepare for some ninja action. Make sure you have salty food and manga/anime somewhere. Also, don't touch him.

America: First of all, you're a dumb fuck. Give him hamburgers or something unhealthy and watch movies or play videogames. Don't do anything that has ghosts involved though.

England: Tea. Lots of tea. It is very unlikely to calm him down, so you better be armored. Like in Germany's case, refrain from watching the tape if England takes part in your OTP. WARNING; PAIRING HIM WITH FRANCE IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.

France: Give him something that involves France. If you don't have any, give him a mirror. If you have any FranceXAnyone doujinshi, you're in luck because that will make him very happy. If you know any, speak French unless you can't pronounce the words. WARNING: PAIRING HIM WITH ENGLAND IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.

Russia: YOU DIMWIT. YOU'RE SCREWED. You can try to calm him down with vodka. If it doesn't work, become one with Mother Russia.

China: Give him something that has Hello Kitty in it. This old man might be hard to please, so prepare for some scolding.

Romano: Give him a tomato or a piece of pizza. Also, pretty ladies are recommended. Hard to calm down.

Spain: Hard to make angry, so if you have done so, I can't say what could help. Try to offer him a tomato. If it does not work, tell him he has a nice ass.

Canada: Notice him. Talk about Canada. If you have maple syrup, give it to him. Talk about ice hockey.

Prussia: Tell him he is awesome. DUH. Also, beer and porn.

Austria: Play something that would express your apologies.

Hungary: Got any yaoi? Good.

Finland: Making this little guy angry is probably the most stupid thing you have ever done! Watch Moomins with him, give him coffee, talk about ice hockey. Salmiakki is recommended. Alcohol is recommended. Also, no presents for you.

Sweden: ...You paired him off with Denmark, didn't you?

Denmark: Beer. Lots of beer. Porn is a nice add.

Norway: Tell him you hate Denmark. This will probably not work if your OTP is DenNor.

Iceland: Tell him you don't believe in DNA tests.

Estonia: This guy likes to get drunk.

Latvia: Listen to some emo music. Not that it helps much. Vodka works sometimes.

Lithuania: Tell him you will set him up with Belarus.

Poland: Ask him if he would like to see your wardrobe. Vodka also helps.

Belarus: Tell her Russia wants to marry her.

Ukraine: Just be nice.

Turkey: Join his harem.

Greece: Give him a kitty.

Other characters will be added in later editions.

VII. How am I supposed to get rid of them?

Who would want them to leave? Well, if you are fed up with them, there is a simple way of make them go away.

1. Draw a circle. The characters are supposed to stand inside it.

2. They must have boots that are filled with some liquid. Preferred to be drinkable.

3. You must wear a blue cloak and sing France's Marukaite Chikuyuu (short version) backwards while dancing the Macarena.

4. After the song, the characters must drink the liquid. All of it.

5. They should disappear after finishing their drinks.

If this does not work, do it again but this time you must put sunflowers in their hair.

Hope this manual was useful. If not, contact Iikku The Eyebrow Master and tell her your problem. She will do her best to help you.

NOTE: Iikku The Eyebrow Master is not responsible for any damage your OTP causes while rampaging in this world. If you accidentally kill one or more of the characters, it is your own fault. OTP tape is not recommended for people under 15 years. Love triangles caused by multiple OTPs might happen. Some of the characters might be willing to kill you. Parents finding out about this will not be good.

So I did this little thing. It's amazing how many people wish their OTP was real...even though it would be horrible. Just imagine, fictional characters running wild in your house...Ugh.

If you have any questions you would like to add here, please write them in reviews and I will add them to this thing. Also, if you wish to make a fic about OTP Tape Curse, you can do it as long as you give me a link and credit me.