Life of a Lily Chapter 13

DO NOT OWN DOWNTON ABBEY!

So sorry for the wait but I recently discovered after finals and unfortunately during finals that I love the TV show Psych, so that has been my current obsession (see profile if you want to read my new psych fic haha!)

"I shall wait for you up here," Miss Emily informed her. "Then we shall begin arithmetic today I think." Lily rolled her eyes as she turned to the door that led downstairs to the kitchen, she didn't want to do arithmetic today. She wanted to ride her horse, but apparently the day after your birthday was not a time to be wasted and Lily was to continue her studies immediately.

"I'd prefer to read my book thank you very much," she muttered under her breath as she entered the kitchen with a smile.

"Mrs. Patmore," she greeted. The older cook spun on her heels and looked up.

"Miss Lily, what a surprise," she gasped.

"I just wanted to thank you for my cake yesterday and wonderful dinner," she told her. "And Ivy and Daisy too, I know they helped, but I also know that you know chocolate cake is my favorite."

"It was no trouble at all Miss Lily," she reassured.

"But all the same it made my first dinner very special," Lily smiled at her. "I'm sorry to take up your time, I shall be going." She seemingly mindlessly, instead of walking to the stairs, stumbled into the serving hall. Mrs. Hughes was sitting there as well as Anna and O'Brien. All three stood up.

"Miss Lily," Mrs. Hughes. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to come through this way and disturb you," Lily gasped and grumbled under her breath so no one could hear. She was hoping to meet someone else.

"Well up you go," Anna chided. "I very much doubt Lady Mary would like to hear from your governess when you take so long."

"Oh but I wouldn't mind," Lily sighed. "Sorry again." She exited the room and almost resigned herself to going back upstairs to endure the day when she suddenly almost crashed into Alfred.

"Miss Lily I'm so sorry," he excused.

"No Alfred, it's just perfect," Lily smiled to herself. Despite how many years he has worked at Downton, he was still the most gullible. "I was wondering if you could do me a favor. There is a book I received as a birthday present and it is in the library, I do not wish to disturb the maids who are cleaning it while my grandfather is out. Could you get it for me? I'll wait down here?"

"Of course Miss Lily," he nodded to her.

"Oh and Alfred," she grinned. "If Miss Emily asks, I'm waiting for Daisy to thank her and I won't be long." Out of sight she sat down in a chair in the hallway, waiting for two minutes until he returned.

"Here you go Miss Lily, and Miss Emily has inquired that she wants you upstairs right now," Alfred told her sheepishly.

"Shame I am doing nothing of the sort," Lily giggled and made a run for the back door the servants must use. "Thank you Alfred!"

"But Miss Lily," he called but she was already out the door, and Alfred was thankful that he didn't have to return upstairs at the moment.

Lily relished in the nicer day that it was outside, no clouds or rain in sight and took off across the lawn, hoping no one would look outside until she was tucked safely in her tree.

On Sunday's this was her usual perch when she read books if she wanted to be out of sight and out of mind. But because she was dining with them for her birthday, Miss Emily had gone over logistics with her for hours once she returned from church and it was torturous. Lily was desperate for a break, even though she had one yesterday, it was not the same.

"Thank god," she breathed as she settled in, grasping the book safely in her hands, and began to read. She loved acting like a lady, for she knew one day, when her father would inherit the title, she would be one. Lily loved dresses, and horses, and not going to school like the village children did though her father and mother had offered. However, sometimes she just wished her father would go back to the firm instead of run Downton Abbey as a co-owner. Then she could have an excuse for what she was doing now, running, and climbing, and escaping her governess. She would only be the daughter of an upper-middle class solicitor until he inherited the title.

She knew it was only moments before there would be a small search for her, she just prayed that she wouldn't tell her Mama.

"Lily! Lily Crawley where are you?" Miss Emily called out into the yard. If she was just going to call, there was no way Lily was coming so she continued to read, trying to suppress a giggle.

"Lily Crawley this instant!" Emily snapped and that's when Lily heard a bark and she looked up. Cleo was being let out by Alfred and the first thing she did was pick up her beloved owners scent.

"Oh no Cleo," she hissed as the dog bounded towards the tree having no idea what sort of trouble she would get her into. "Cleo shoo, please get out of here you silly dog!" Not being able to reach her Cleo began to bark up the tree and Lily shut her eyes and waited for it.

"LILY ISOBEL CRAWLEY YOU ARE UP THAT TREE AREN'T YOU!" Miss Emily shrieked.

"Now look what you've done," Lily hissed to the dog.

"DO NOT MAKE ME COME OUT THERE!" she threatened and Lily sighed and hopped down, coming into view. She grimaced as she felt the top of her stockings tear and hoped that the run would not make it down her leg as she walked, very slowly to let Miss Emily blow off steam. Cleo faithfully went to her side as if she had done nothing wrong so Lily couldn't help but scratch the dog behind the ear.

"Hello Miss Emily," Lily said calmly.

"And where did you think you were going?" Miss Emily asked.

"I wasn't going anywhere," Lily informed her. "I was sitting in a tree."

"Oh my god," Miss Emily exclaimed, lifting up her young charges shirt to look at the run in her stockings. "Look at what you have done?"

"If you wouldn't have called me I would not have had to jump down the tree and tear them," Lily hissed.

"Is that anyway a lady should behave?" she questioned.

"I'm not a lady yet, am I?" Lily retorted as she stepped into the house.

"What have I done to you that you must speak to me in this way?" the governess snapped. "I have half a mind to tell your mother about this incident and your behavior. And to think I was giving you the afternoon off once we were finished with today's studies." Lily groaned, how could she be so stupid to ruin this.

"Oh but Miss Emily, surely I didn't waste too much time, I could still-"

"If you think I am giving you the afternoon off now you are sorely mistaken," the governess narrowed her eyes. "You shall be practicing the piano for the whole afternoon until I am satisfied."

"Oh must I," Lily sighed. "I'd much rather read or write or-"

"Well it isn't all about you is it?" Emily snapped.

"What is going on out here?" Mary emerged from the drawing room and Lily winced, she had been hoping she was calling on Gran Isobel like she said she was. Really, Lily had hoped to come with her, she loved Crawley house, but it was most likely no longer an option.

"Perhaps Lily should explain?" Emily narrowed her eyes at the young girl and when Lily set her jaw and glared at the governess she took over. It was now her mother's turn to glare at her. "No? Miss Lily decided that it was best to climb trees in the garden rather than continue her studies. And then when I caught her decided that she was a governess and thought she could, very unkindly I might add, suggest what she would be doing since she is no longer allowed to call on Mrs. Crawley's with you."

"Lily," Mary prompted.

"I'll be waiting in my room Lily," Emily sounded so superior Lily clenched her fists indignantly.

"Sorry," Lily muttered turning unrelentingly to Mary.

"Oh, you will continue to be sorry," Mary continued, her voice harsh. "Not only will you have to do everything Miss Emily says today, and that means no calling on Gran Isobel with me, but I must turn down an invitation given to you to join us for dinner once again."

"Mama-"

"I am not done Lily," Mary said. "Your grandparents kindly extended the invitation one because it is your brothers' last day here and two because of how gracious and lady like you behaved yesterday, I see no evidence of that behavior today."

"But Mama," Lily hissed.

"And I have half a mind to cancel your riding lesson tomorrow." Mary observed how absolutely miserable she looked at these words so she gave in, but only slightly. "However, in times such as these we cannot go about wasting money on a horse, no matter how undeserving you are of it at the moment," Mary sighed. "But I cannot promise you Miss Emily will let you off for anything else other than the riding lesson. So you will probably be so exhausted you will have no time to climb trees or read or any other leisure activity."

"Mama it is not-"

"Do not even begin to say it is not fair, because it most certainly is," Mary said. "You are seven, getting older, and you must learn to act that way. Throwing tantrums such as these is no way to prove that." Lily glared at her mother.

"Do not even begin to tell me that you never ran away from your governess Mama," Lily raised her chin indignantly to her mother. "Because that would be a lie."

Mary smiled widely, walked up to her daughter, and kissed her on the forehead. Lily immediately pushed her away.

"Yes my darling, I did, but there is a difference."

"And what would that be?" Lily growled.

"I was so much better at it."

"Well good for you," she exclaimed and stalked away.

"Well doesn't that sound beautiful," Matthew said walking into the room where his daughter was sitting at the piano. For such a beautiful sound, his daughter's expression was that of misery.

"Thank you Papa," she muttered and continued.

"That is enough for today Lily, perhaps tomorrow we shall do more," Miss Emily smiled and Lily grumbled. Matthew was confused; Lily loved to play the piano.

"Lily darling what is that matter?" Matthew asked as she pushed out of the room and past him. "Are you excited, having been asked to dinner yet again tonight?" Her shoulders went rigid.

"Ask Mama," she hissed and marched upstairs. Matthew narrowed his eyes as he saw a run from her stocking reaching from her ankle to where it disappeared underneath her skirt.

"Miss Emily are you aware of where I could find Lady Mary?" he asked the governess.

"I believe she is in the sitting room with Lady Grantham," she answered. Matthew headed there warily.

"Are you sure she cannot join us for dinner?" Cora was asking her daughter. "It was so wonderful having her there last night and it is the boys' last day home."

"She is being punished Mama, and eating dinner with us is a reward," Mary said stiffly.

"Why is Lily being punished?" he asked and Mary jumped up in surprise.

"Matthew," she breathed. "You gave me a fright."

"Why is Lily being punished?" Matthew repeated.

"Our daughter seems to have gained a lot of cheek with her seventh birthday," Mary explained. "Gave it to both I and Miss Emily today." Matthew groaned.

"Mary I dealt with a lot more cheek than you ever have," Cora cupped her daughter's cheek lovingly. "And your poor governess was almost frightened of you when you were angry."

"Precisely why I am being hard on her now," Mary answered. "So she will not turn out as I did."

"I don't know, I particularly like how you turned out," Matthew smiled.

"And would you like our daughter to make the same mistakes as I Matthew?" she asked and watched as his jaw suddenly set. "She's giving us cheek and she is not even a teenager yet. There are no boys-"

"Mary," he growled. "Do not mention Lily as a teenager and a boy in the same sentence."

"I forgot who I was talking to," Mary chuckled. "The protective father with the shot gun."

"Well I haven't bought it yet," Matthew quipped. "Perhaps I should."

"I feel as though I shouldn't be a witness to this conversation, if I ever have to testify on your behalf Matthew," Cora laughed and excused herself from the room. Matthew sat next to Mary.

"Why must she grow up so fast," Mary sighed. "Couldn't she just be my little girl forever? My calm, perfect-"

"I'm not sure what daughter you are talking about Mary," Matthew chuckled. "Our Lily has never been calm."

"But still," Mary sighed. Matthew leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"I'll go up and revive her," Matthew smiled. "She hasn't given cheek to me yet."

"Oh just you wait Matthew." Matthew walked up the stairs and found his daughter in her room, sitting on the window sill, her head in a book.

"I was not given a proper greeting today," Matthew said hopefully. "I expect a hug and a kiss from my darling daughter every time I see her." Lily rolled her eyes and put down her book.

"I'm not in the mood today Papa," she sighed but obliged to do so anyway.

"What is all the fuss about today?" he asked her seriously. "Your mother and you are at odds and that never happens."

"I just wanted to read my book today Papa, not study arithmetic or play the piano," Lily murmured as he took her hands. "Or better yet ride my horse."

"Well, I'm sorry my dear but sometimes you must do things that you are not fond of, I'm sorry but it's true, and you just have to live with it or face the consequences," Matthew said.

"Papa can't you convince Mama-"

"We've already informed Mrs. Patmore not to include you in the count for dinner, it would not be fair to change it yet again," Matthew shook his head. "Now perhaps instead of me convincing Mama, you should go to her and apologize for your behavior today."

"Oh Papa must I," she sighed.

"Yes, it was not a suggestion," Matthew said, turning to the door. "Your Mama is stubborn and if you don't apologize straight away, she will not forgive very quickly."

"I'm stubborn too Papa," she informed him.

"Don't I know it, which is why I am insisting and not giving you an option to do otherwise," Matthew smiled at his daughter who scowled.

"All right," Lily consented. "But I'm not happy about it."

"I didn't expect you to be," Matthew chuckled. "Go on." He followed her downstairs and, although very improper, eavesdropped at the door.

"Mama," she said timidly.

"Hello Lily," he heard the formality in his wife's voice but knew it was all an act.

"I'm sorry for speaking to you in the way I did today, and disobeying Miss Emily," Lily apologized. "I am getting older and I must-" She broke off with a muffled grunt and Matthew peeked in to see Mary smothering her daughter to her chest. A genuine giggle escaped Lily's lips. "Mama!"

"Oh my darling, you are forgiven," Mary said.

"I truly am sorry," Mary saw that it wasn't just Matthew putting her up to it, as if she had been regretting her actions since she did them.

"Please, promise me, do not try and grow up too fast. You are my Lily girl and always will be."

"As long as not growing up does not include not riding my horse, I shall try Mama," Lily smiled.

"As long as I don't get much cheek I'd be happy with that," Mary arched an eyebrow at her. "Matthew do not eavesdrop," he heard Mary call. "I can hear you chuckling under your breath."

"My girls," he laughed. "What am I to do with you?"

"Papa," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Now, I think there is one more person you must apologize to," Mary stepped back and looked sternly at her daughter.

"Oh fine," she muttered and exited the room.

"Well that went a lot better than I expected," Mary laughed.

"What can I say, I'm smarter than you think," Matthew smirked.

"Much smarter," Mary whispered, pulled her husband closer, and kissed him on the lips.

"Oh and Mama," Lily began. "Oh Mama, Papa, don't you have a room to do that in?" She looked at her parents in disgust.

"Go apologize," Mary commanded.

"Never mind," Lily grumbled and shuffled out of the room as quick as possible.

"That's our Lily," Matthew smiled against Mary's lips and kissed her again, harder.

"Well don't you look smart," Mary beamed as Lily came down the stairs dressed in her riding outfit. Her eyes shined excitedly as her mother had something similar on.

"You really are coming Mama," despite their tension yesterday, Lily was happy to have this to share with her Mama.

"So you both really are going riding instead of seeing us off," William shook his head. "Disappointing."

"You have Papa," Lily walked up to him and kissed his cheek goodbye. "It's a girl's only day for Mama and I, right?"

"Well and Lynch," Mary chuckled.

"Regardless, we can say goodbye here," she kissed Bertie's cheek.

"Be good little sister," the younger of the two boys taunted. "Don't annoy Mama and Papa too much."

"No, I must save it all for you until you come home at the end of semester," Lily smirked. William laughed at his brother's expense. "You too, I didn't forget about you either William."

"Alright, you two will miss your train if we don't get a move on," Matthew told them.

"Oh fine Papa," William hugged Mary. "Goodbye Mama, don't be too hard on the poor girl." If Lily wasn't afraid of Miss Emily finding out, she would have kicked him.

"That's enough out of you all, go on," Mary kissed him back and kissed Bertie's cheek. "I love you both, behave, and-"

"Watch out for my little brother?" William hooked his arm around Bertie. Bertie frowned and wiggled away from him.

"Don't worry Mama, I will watch out for William," he said. Mary shook her head they continued to argue out of the front door.

"I feel bad for the women they marry," Lily groaned.

"Oh hush up," Mary chided. "Now let's go my darling, we mustn't keep Lynch waiting." When the got to the stables Lily was in awe of how beautiful Zeus looked in both the bright sunlight and saddled and ready for her to ride.

Getting on the horse, to ride side saddle, was a lot harder than her Mama made it look. The first time she got up, she could have sworn she almost became Aunt Edith and slipped off the other side, but Lynch had been there to steady her. And that's when it clicked, she felt as if she belonged on this horse, as if there was nothing more wonderful than riding.

She watched as her Mama rode skillfully on her house, having learned over thirty years ago how to ride. Mary could practically see the envy in her eye as Lynch walked the horse gently around the stable, so Lily could get a feel of how it felt.

Mary could see how her muscles flexed and she was urging to try it on her own, but to placate her own fears of her daughter getting hurt, she waited at least two rotations before intervening.

"Lynch, you remember how quickly I learned," she told the older man. "I know you must see in my daughter the same intuition for horses as I have, because I can see it."

"Really Mama," Lily gasped. Mary smiled at her.

"Really darling," she reassured. "I give you permission to let her try on her own."

"All right then," Lynch said. "Remember everything I said and off you go."

Mary watched in amazement as Lily walked the horse slowly around the stable on her own. By the fourth time, her daughter grinning widely, Mary joined her and allowed the pace to speed up a bit.

"Mama," Lily giggled. "I'm doing it, I really am doing it."

"You are my darling," Mary felt a lump rise in her throat. Her daughter's voice showed nothing of the resentful tone she exhibited yesterday, or the formal tone she strove to maintain throughout dinner on her birthday, she was doing exactly what Mary wanted her to do. Remain a child, remain her baby girl. Because her baby girl's voice sounded as it had the day Mary and Matthew caught her escaping her crib, or when she first rode her tricycle, or when she ran off the ride at the fair in Thirsk proclaiming that she was not scared at all.

"Mama, what's wrong?" she asked as Mary trotted away.

"Nothing darling, keep going," Mary said and hopped off her horse and turned into the stable itself.

"Lynch, could you please help me get down, that I have not quite mastered yet," Lily asked and the man obliged. He knew better than to not follow her as she hurried after Mary.

"Mama," she called again and she found her Mama in tears. "Do not cry Mama."

"Oh my darling," Mary sighed. "My darling Lily. I never cried this much before I was a mother, and now every time one of you does something that makes you seem so grown up, I become a weeping willow."

"That's not a bad thing Mama," Lily reassured.

"Oh I know it's not, it's just," Mary reached out to cup Lily's cheek. "I don't know if you remember Lily, when you were three and you had-"

"Scarlet fever," she finished. "I don't remember it, I suspect not many would. But I know I had it."

"We almost lost you," Mary whispered harshly. "And seeing you on that horse today, it's something at one point that week I thought I never would see. You looked so strong, so confident, and so elegant. My chest might explode in pride."

"Well you didn't lose me Mama," Lily smiled up at her. "I'm right here, and I am not going anywhere." She grabbed her Mama's hand and pulled her back towards the horses. "Now come on Mama, help me, teach me to be as good as you are."

"Aren't you tired at all?" Mary chuckled, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief.

"When am I ever tired Mama," Lily giggled.

"That's my girl," she smiled through her residual tears.

"That's you Mama," Lily beamed, and Mary felt as if she would burst in happiness.

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