Daddy's not so Little Helper

Summary: Rusty Venture never got chicken pox when he was a kid. He was too busy going on adventures and picking up other, more exotic illnesses. So when he two small boys bring home something as simple as the children's illness, he's not prepared for how hard it's going to hit him.

A/N: This story is from a plot bunny found on the Venture Bros Kink Meme, which I'm not sure is up and running anymore, so I'm posting it here. The prompt was "Set in the past when Hank and Dean are toddlers. (they have 2 dads! 8D)

Rusty gets really sick, and Brock takes care of him, and gradually learns to like/love him." So if you're on here, this story is for you. Everyone else, please enjoy.

Go Team Venture!

The boys are finally asleep. Doc was in their room for hours today reading them all their favorite stories until they drifted off. Both of them came down with really nasty cases of the chicken pox at the same time, and I don't think their dad's gotten a moment to sleep since Hank and Dean started breaking out. He even put his trip to the Himalayas on hold, telling the archeologists that he had more pressing matters at hand. It's moments like these that I don't mind working for a guy like him. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's an ass and a half a lot of the time and that thing he's got going on with his kid-clone lab is just plain creepy and weird, but he's not a terrible person.

I light a cigarette and eye him as he comes in the kitchen, heading straight for the stove. "Hey Doc, how are the boys?"

He shrugs, fills the tea kettle and pulls down a coffee mug, dropping a tea bag inside of it. "I don't know. Dean's been really whiny and Hank keeps trying to scratch when he thinks I'm not looking. I finally got them both to sleep with some of Daddy's Little Helper, if you know what I mean." He clears his throat and pulls out a small flask from that speed-suit of his, pouring some of the contents over the bag in the mug.

"Doc, they're three. You can't give that to three year olds, that's not even cool." Are you fucking kidding me? I take that back. He's a terrible father.

"It did the trick. It's not like I got them wasted or anything like that. I just needed them to sleep." I look at him hard while he pours honey into his tea and sigh to myself; he looks worn to the bone. He glares at me. "Whose bright idea was it to take the boys to the playground again? I certainly didn't think it was a good plan."

"The boys gotta have fresh air and all that. They're just kids."

"They get plenty of fresh air. I take them places all the time."

"Yeah, but they don't get to see people their own age. They ain't socializing right."

"They don't need other kids. That's the beauty of having two of them. They'll always have someone to play with."

"I still say it ain't healthy to keep them away from playmates that ain't family." I light another cigarette with the stub of the old one and take a deep drag. He may be pretty smart about all this science shit, but he knows jack when it comes to his own kids.

"And this is what you'd call healthy? Brock, they have chicken pox for god's sake. They never would have gotten it if they would have stayed in the compound like I said they should." He pushes his fingers under his glasses and rubs his eyes, looking more tired than he normally does.

"Chicken pox is no big deal. Every kid gets it. I was only a little older than the boys when I got it."

"I never got it." He starts staring at the wall with that far away, bitter look in his eyes. That look right there tells me that if his dad wasn't already dead, I'd want to kill him. "I got malaria instead. I still have flare ups to this day."

I've been with him through those flare ups. They can get pretty brutal. Jonas Venture was a globe-trotting dick, if you ask me. No wonder his kid is such a shitty father. He learned from the best. Any asshole who could endanger his own son the way Jonas did his… something clicks in my mind. "Hang on; you never got the chicken pox?"

"Not that I know of, no. I was never around other children. I guess I should be thanking my old man for helping me dodge that bullet, huh?"

"Yeah… no Doc. That bullet's gonna hit you like a freight train."

"What are you talking about Brock? Chicken pox is a children's disease."

"It's a children's disease because you get it during childhood. You get it as an adult it's gonna kick your ass and hard."

"Are you fucking kidding me? This is just great. How the hell am I supposed to take care of my boys and the postponed job in the Himalayas if I'm down for the count?" He looks stressed out.

"I can take care of the boys, you know that. As for the job, well they can either take their business elsewhere or they can till you're on your feet again. Simple as that. Everything's gonna be cool. The boys will be back on their feet again in no time. Kids stop feeling sick after a couple days so you won't need to worry about that."

"Well, we don't know for sure I'm going to get sick. I mean, I don't remember every illness I got, so this might be a lot of worry over nothing. Right now, we're just going to act like everything is fine. We don't need to tell Hank and Dean about this."

"Right Doc, whatever you say." I nod and watch him pick up his tea and slump out of the room. It may have been psychosomatic, but he reaches up and scratches his shoulder violently. Rusty Venture… you gotta feel for the guy his dad turned him into.

tbc