Warnings/Author notes: Ryou angst, but it's not caused by Yami Bakura, Yami
Bakura isn't even in this. There are no real chapters but I'm using the
diary entry number as the title of each part. This is an alternative
universe where the Dueling Kingdom never happened.
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.
- - -
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 113 - Date: April 27th, 1997 (Age: 10)]
Dear Diary,
It happened again today. I was just walking into the schoolyard when Robert Lancaster and his group of friends surrounded me. They didn't even threaten me this time, just threw my books into the large fountain in front of the school and started to beat me up. Anthony, Robert's best friend was yelling really loudly and all five of them were laughing and that got the attention of everyone on the playground. It was still early so none of the teachers were out to supervise and it didn't take long for a crowd to gather around us.
They cheered Robert and his friends on. I heard someone yell out 'Make him eat dirt' and a lot of them wanted to see blood. They saw it when Avery, he's Anthony's little brother, punched me in the nose.
I looked up once at the crowd and I saw Jacob standing there glaring at me. He wasn't cheering like everyone else but I knew he was happy to see me hurt. I knew that it was because of him that I had been getting beaten up and I had lost all my friends. I think it's been about two months already, when he was still my best friend in the entire world.
We were sitting in my basement watching a movie; he was staying the night like he usually did on a Saturday. I guess I had been acting weird, and he had asked me what was wrong. I didn't know how to explain it to him, so I did the best thing I could think of to get my problem across.
I kissed him. I don't know why, I didn't find him attractive, or even cute.
He pushed me away and I fell onto the coffee table. I didn't tell him, but the corner had stabbed me in the back and I had the scar to prove it. We sat in silence for a really long time until he finally just asked, "Are you gay?" I told him the truth. I told him that I was pretty sure about it and then I asked him if he was okay with it. He was the most important person to me and I didn't want to ruin our friendship.
He swore to me that he was fine with it, and he even stayed the rest of the night. I called him Sunday to find that he was at his grandparents' for the day and that I'd see him Monday. Well, I saw him Monday at school but I never got to talk to him. It was obvious that he had told everyone that I had kissed him because when I met up with Felix, Sharon, Calvin and Jacob they all told me that they didn't want to be my friends anymore.
I'm embarrassed to say that at first I thought they were joking. We had been friends since kindergarten, something as little as this couldn't ruin what we had, could it? So I tried to sit with them at lunchtime in the lunchroom. We were all in different classes and I didn't see them at recess because I helped the teacher out that day so I hadn't seen them all morning.
As soon as I sat down at the table they all just stopped talking and stared at me. I think I had been smiling when I first sat down but it disappeared really quickly. We just stared at each other for a really long time before I got up again telling them that I was sorry for bothering them. I sat at an empty table beside them and I could hear them beginning to talk again, acting like nothing had happened.
I went home as soon as I was done eating, which I had to force down anyway, because I knew that I couldn't go the rest of the day without crying. Those four had been the only ones I had aside from my father, and he is usually away. When I got home the house was empty because the nanny didn't get there until 3:30 when I'd get home from school. I just changed out of my school clothes and into my pajamas and went to bed.
I never did tell my father what had happened when he came back from his trip to the United States. When he asked where my friends were I kept making excuses for them, they were always too busy to play with me, and Jacob was having family problems, that's why he couldn't come over on Saturday nights anymore. I thought he believed me because he never questioned me. And I had to find excuses for the bruises I was coming home with. I didn't know how to cover up a black eye very well and my father noticed it right away.
I told him Jacob and I had been playing tag and I had tripped on the gravel that filled our playground and hit my head on the monkey bars. Or I had gotten hurt in gym class because I was such a klutz. I thought he believed me then too.
Finally, he just stopped asking about everything and I figured he had forgotten it all. I found out later that he had called Jacob's parents to see if their family problems had been settled. They didn't know what he was talking about. He called the school and complained that I was getting hurt on the playground equipment. He happened to be talking to my teacher and she explained that I hadn't gone out for recess for a long time or that I hadn't been participating in gym class.
He finally made me tell him what was happening and why I was lying to him. I've never lied to him before. I told him everything, even that I was gay. He seemed to know that part, and after he had held me until I had fallen asleep, having cried myself exhausted.
I know I'm a crybaby, I cry over the stupidest things really. I know I do, but I can't help it. But today I was really proud of myself after Robert and his friends left me and the crowd went into the school when the bell rang.
This time, I didn't cry.
- Ryou
- - -
I'm being force to advertise:
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans.
This is yaoi, Yami/Ryou, Malik/Yugi, and it was supposed to be Tristan/Joey, but it isn't anymore.
- - -
[Ryou's Diary: Entry 113 - Date: April 27th, 1997 (Age: 10)]
Dear Diary,
It happened again today. I was just walking into the schoolyard when Robert Lancaster and his group of friends surrounded me. They didn't even threaten me this time, just threw my books into the large fountain in front of the school and started to beat me up. Anthony, Robert's best friend was yelling really loudly and all five of them were laughing and that got the attention of everyone on the playground. It was still early so none of the teachers were out to supervise and it didn't take long for a crowd to gather around us.
They cheered Robert and his friends on. I heard someone yell out 'Make him eat dirt' and a lot of them wanted to see blood. They saw it when Avery, he's Anthony's little brother, punched me in the nose.
I looked up once at the crowd and I saw Jacob standing there glaring at me. He wasn't cheering like everyone else but I knew he was happy to see me hurt. I knew that it was because of him that I had been getting beaten up and I had lost all my friends. I think it's been about two months already, when he was still my best friend in the entire world.
We were sitting in my basement watching a movie; he was staying the night like he usually did on a Saturday. I guess I had been acting weird, and he had asked me what was wrong. I didn't know how to explain it to him, so I did the best thing I could think of to get my problem across.
I kissed him. I don't know why, I didn't find him attractive, or even cute.
He pushed me away and I fell onto the coffee table. I didn't tell him, but the corner had stabbed me in the back and I had the scar to prove it. We sat in silence for a really long time until he finally just asked, "Are you gay?" I told him the truth. I told him that I was pretty sure about it and then I asked him if he was okay with it. He was the most important person to me and I didn't want to ruin our friendship.
He swore to me that he was fine with it, and he even stayed the rest of the night. I called him Sunday to find that he was at his grandparents' for the day and that I'd see him Monday. Well, I saw him Monday at school but I never got to talk to him. It was obvious that he had told everyone that I had kissed him because when I met up with Felix, Sharon, Calvin and Jacob they all told me that they didn't want to be my friends anymore.
I'm embarrassed to say that at first I thought they were joking. We had been friends since kindergarten, something as little as this couldn't ruin what we had, could it? So I tried to sit with them at lunchtime in the lunchroom. We were all in different classes and I didn't see them at recess because I helped the teacher out that day so I hadn't seen them all morning.
As soon as I sat down at the table they all just stopped talking and stared at me. I think I had been smiling when I first sat down but it disappeared really quickly. We just stared at each other for a really long time before I got up again telling them that I was sorry for bothering them. I sat at an empty table beside them and I could hear them beginning to talk again, acting like nothing had happened.
I went home as soon as I was done eating, which I had to force down anyway, because I knew that I couldn't go the rest of the day without crying. Those four had been the only ones I had aside from my father, and he is usually away. When I got home the house was empty because the nanny didn't get there until 3:30 when I'd get home from school. I just changed out of my school clothes and into my pajamas and went to bed.
I never did tell my father what had happened when he came back from his trip to the United States. When he asked where my friends were I kept making excuses for them, they were always too busy to play with me, and Jacob was having family problems, that's why he couldn't come over on Saturday nights anymore. I thought he believed me because he never questioned me. And I had to find excuses for the bruises I was coming home with. I didn't know how to cover up a black eye very well and my father noticed it right away.
I told him Jacob and I had been playing tag and I had tripped on the gravel that filled our playground and hit my head on the monkey bars. Or I had gotten hurt in gym class because I was such a klutz. I thought he believed me then too.
Finally, he just stopped asking about everything and I figured he had forgotten it all. I found out later that he had called Jacob's parents to see if their family problems had been settled. They didn't know what he was talking about. He called the school and complained that I was getting hurt on the playground equipment. He happened to be talking to my teacher and she explained that I hadn't gone out for recess for a long time or that I hadn't been participating in gym class.
He finally made me tell him what was happening and why I was lying to him. I've never lied to him before. I told him everything, even that I was gay. He seemed to know that part, and after he had held me until I had fallen asleep, having cried myself exhausted.
I know I'm a crybaby, I cry over the stupidest things really. I know I do, but I can't help it. But today I was really proud of myself after Robert and his friends left me and the crowd went into the school when the bell rang.
This time, I didn't cry.
- Ryou
- - -
I'm being force to advertise:
http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/theshadowrealm
For NC-17 and other ratings. Yu Gi Oh! Yaoi fans.