Series: Keeping Score
Title: Knowing the Cost
Characters: Felicity Smoak, Oliver Queen, John Diggle, Helena Bertineli, Roy Harper
Disclaimer: I do not own Arrow, or its characters... no copyright infringement is intended and no profit is made.
Spoilers: none that I'm aware of.

Knowing the Cost

Felicity kept a list. It was on a plain A4 paper that she'd snatched out of her printer months ago. She'd drawn a line down the middle and started a tally. Four short vertical lines and then a fifth drawn diagonally through them. Over and over again. So she could never lose count.

She wasn't sure when it would be too much. There was a line she'd sworn to herself she wouldn't cross. On the day she shook hands with Oliver, the day she joined his team. That was over a year ago. Sixteen months, two weeks and three days. Yes, she'd kept count. She'd always keep count. Because that line she'd drawn for herself had blurred. The black and white world she'd lived in so comfortably had become awash with grey.

And today marked a change. The list mocked her. Every line had been drawn in black ink. Just a normal generic black pen, to keep track of all the people that died on this crusade. All the people that had been killed by the Hood, the Arrow, whatever the papers were calling him these days. She called him Oliver. She knew the truth. She helped him. All the notches, her tally, it wasn't just a number. They were people and now they were dead.

On the left of the line were all the people that he'd fought. People that got in his way. The lackey's, the hired guns, the bodyguards. They were people he killed in self-defense. Not that that ever made it easier for her to add another notch. On the right were the people from the notebook – from Oliver's list.

The left far exceeded the right, she was almost at the bottom. She'd wondered when she would stop, when she would walk away from this. Would it be when she had to turn the page and start marking the dead on the back as well? When the right past the halfway mark? She'd mulled over that question every time a mission went bad and she was forced to pull out her list. To add another victim of their crusade. It had been happening less and less lately. The last time almost five months ago (four months, three weeks, four days).

Felicity's hand shook as she reached out to grab a pen from her desk. She passed the black pen and took the red one instead, moving it to hover over the left side of the page. Three lines were added, standing out in stark relief on the paper. Clearly visible against the white and easily distinguished from the black lines.

Yes, today marked a change. Three people were dead. And her only thought at the time had been: 'good'.

Felicity lowered the paper back onto her desk and leaned back in her chair, staring up at the ceiling of her apartment. She wasn't a vengeful person. She didn't condone killing. There used to be a line she wouldn't cross. She frowned. Adding a notch to her list used to hurt. Knowing someone was dead and that she'd contributed to it, used to leave her feeling sick to her stomach. Now there was nothing.

She straightened and ran her hands through her hair, wincing at the tangles. There was no point in staying here, she decided. There was no point in wallowing at her lost innocence. No rest for the wicked and all that. There was work to be done. As she checked her purse and grabbed her coat she tried not to think, not to remember. Her cellphone however showed another missed call - John Diggle - and she stared down at it for a long moment. The last time she'd answered his call had been three days ago. Three days ago, before everything –pardon her French - went completely to shit.

She'd been at work, trying to figure out why everyone in legal had lost all their sent and received emails from the past 24 hours when her phone rang. She'd been distracted and only answered on the third ring, "Hey Diggle, what do you need?"

"You need to come in." He replied. "Right now."

Felicity frowned. "Okay," she said slowly, "usually Oliver is the one skipping over pleasantries and well, manners."

"Felicity," his voice was strained, "we have a situation."

Felicity's frown deepened. "A first aid kit kind of situation?" she asked, already beginning to save her work.

"Not at the moment." Diggle answered. "But this is gonna get ugly and-" he cut off abruptly and she could hear Oliver in the background, demanding the phone. "No." Diggle snapped, voice muffled, clearly not addressing her, "she's coming, calm down."

Felicity propped the phone between her ear and shoulder as she shut down her laptop and tablet. "Felicity,-"

"I'm on my way." She interrupted him. "Give me twenty minutes, Diggle."

"Okay." He answered and hung up.

She'd been worried. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but Oliver was violently beating up his training pole and she winced as she descended the stairs.

"Okay," she said as she shrugged off her coat, "I'm here, what's going on?" She automatically made her way to the computers and glanced at Diggle, but he was on the phone and distractedly pointed at Oliver.

Oliver moved out of his workout space and stalked over to her, his face frustrated and angry. Felicity felt her pulse quicken. It had been a long time since she'd seen him like this.

Something must've shown on her face because he paused to grab a towel and took a breath as he wiped his face. She could see him make the effort to calm down and reign his anger in.

"Thanks Roy."

Felicity's head snapped to the side as Diggle hung up. "Roy?" she questioned in surprise.

"We need him." Oliver answered for him. "Is he coming?" he asked Diggle.

Diggle nodded. "Yeah, he'll come in when it's time."

Felicity turned back to Oliver. "Time for what? What's going on?" she asked. "Why do we need Roy?"

Oliver regarded her, his jaw clenched tightly despite his efforts. "We have a lead on Walter."

Felicity stared at him. "He's alive?" she asked, and she could hear the crack in her voice. Hear the fear and the hope. Nineteen months and five days was a long time to be missing. A long time to be at the mercy of whoever had abducted him.

The look Oliver gave her was grim. "He's alive." He replied.

'He might be wishing he wasn't'. Is what he didn't say. But his eyes didn't lie and she'd learned to read between the lines a long time ago. Walter was alive, but that said nothing about his physical condition. And his mental condition wasn't something any of them wanted to speculate on, this long into his kidnapping.

The silence was loud and the air pressed in around her. She swallowed. "What do you need me to do?" she asked.

Oliver waved her over to the computers and for the first time she noticed the laptop hooked up the system. "I took that on last night's mission." He said. "We got through the basic encryption an hour ago and found the information on Walter. They were communicating with whoever has him. We need you to trace it back to the abductors."

Felicity nodded as she sat down. "What happens when I trace it and can get a location?" she asked.

"We go and get Walter." Oliver bit out.

Felicity rolled her eyes. Of course that would be the extent of his plan. Well at least he was trying to prepare for the worst it seemed. "The three of you?" Felicity asked, as she skimmed the information on the screen.

"Four." Diggle answered. "Helena said she could be here in five hours."

Felicity froze and turned to look at him over shoulder. "You called in Helena?" she asked sharply.

Oliver growled in frustration from her other side. "We don't know what we're going to be up against." He said and she spun around completely in her chair to face them. "I'm working on the assumption that whoever has Walter, won't let us just take him without a fight. I know you don't like her, but we need all the help we can get."

"I understand that." Felicity said. "I'm all for getting help. But Helena?! Shouldn't we get someone we can actually trust?"

"I'm all ears!" Oliver retorted. "But that's not exactly a long list."

Diggle raised his hands. "I don't like it either." He told her. "But we have no choice. We can't exactly get the police involved in this."

Felicity scowled. No, they couldn't. A SWAT team wasn't exactly subtle; Walter could be dead before they'd even breached the premises. Not to mention they were pretty sure there was still a mole inside SCPD. And she had to admit that Helena was an excellent fighter. She'd unfortunately experienced that first hand.

"Felicity, this is too big for me to do alone." Oliver said. "And there just isn't anyone else."

Felicity spun back to face the screens. "So, I've got five hours to crack this then." She stated irritably.

"Felicity-," Oliver sighed.

"No, I get it." She said harshly.

"No, you don't." Oliver said, and he moved to stand next to her. "The last thing I want is to involve Helena, or Roy, or even Diggle in this." He shook his head as he leaned down next to her. "But they're not just going to be holding Walter somewhere unprotected. If I want a shot at getting him out alive, I can't go in alone." His eyes bored into hers. "You're the one that keeps telling me that."

Felicity swallowed down her anger. It was an old argument between them. 'Stop trying to do all this alone.' Oliver felt it was his responsibility to fix Starling City and his stubborn insistence to go at it by himself drove her and Diggle crazy. Not that she'd disagreed with his decision not to let Roy join their team, and she was perversely glad that Helena had shot him down. But, he needed someone. Sometimes the only term to describe his latest plan was 'suicide mission' and she'd now completed four different first aid courses. She couldn't begrudge him this.

"Fine." She said quietly. "For Walter."

Oliver relaxed and nodded. "For Walter." He said, with a wry smile.

She turned back to the screens and took a deep breath. "I'll need supplies." She said.

"Coffee, energy drinks or smoothies?" Diggle asked.

"Lunch." She declared. "Proper lunch." She considered it for a moment. "And smoothies for later."

Diggle chuckled. "Burritos coming up."

In the end it took her under an hour to track the emails back and hack their source. It got her a name (Danny Brickwell), but not much more information or access to his files. And hacking him from the outside would take another day at least. So Oliver donned his gear, took a flash drive with her sledgehammer virus and went to break into his house. Well, mansion. Estate? A huge fricking house, in any case.

The sledgehammer virus wasn't elegant, and the person being hacked would have alerts screaming, but it was quick. Brickwell's hard drives were copied and uploaded to a cloud, and she spent another three hours breaking through the encryption.

By the time Helena arrived, Roy was aimlessly tossing a tennis ball as he paced, and she and Oliver were clustered in front of her screens, going over property records and eliminating possible locations.

"Well, isn't that cozy." Helena remarked, as Diggle led her over to them.

Felicity bristled and Oliver placed a warning hand on her shoulder. Right, the woman could kill her with a hand tied behind her back. Damn.

"Helena," Oliver said, "thank you for coming."

Helena narrowed her eyes at him. "This makes us even." She said.

Oliver nodded and she smiled brightly. "Felicity," she continued, "how are you today?"

Oliver's hand tightened on her shoulder as she glared at Helena. "Conscious." She bit out through clenched teeth. "Although the raging headache I've come to associate with you is rearing its ugly head."

Helena chuckled. "It's not good to hold a grudge." she said. "It creates ulcers."

Felicity stared at her. "Are you seriously talking about the pitfalls of holding a grudge?" she asked incredulously. "You? Queen of the grudge holders? Miss 'I am vengeance, watch me kill'?"

Helena tsked and shook her head. "Really Oliver, why you surround yourself with so much negativity…" She trailed off.

"Oh, bite me." Felicity snapped and Helena full out laughed.

Next to her Oliver sighed, "Felicity…" he said warningly.

"What?" she exclaimed. "I'm not the one who goes around threatening and pistol whipping people!"

Helena's smile turned predatory. "Would you like a rematch?" she asked. "I promise not to knock you flat on your ass until at least the second swing."

Felicity was out of her chair with a snarl as Helena laughed. Felicity didn't make it far as Oliver reached out and grabbed her around the waist, physically hauling her back, and Diggle quickly stepped between her and Helena.

"Oh man," Roy whispered gleefully. "Chick fight!"

"Felicity." Oliver grunted as she struggled. "Stop. We don't have time for this."

Felicity huffed angrily and stilled. Oliver waited another beat before he set her down, his hands firmly on her shoulders as he spun her around to face him. "Breathe." He instructed her.

Felicity was shaking in anger as she glared at him and Oliver winced. "For Walter." He reminded her quietly.

Felicity tried to relax the hands she'd balled into fists. "I make no promises." She said.

She took a breath and turned, aware that Oliver's hands once again settled on her shoulders and that he could probably feel her vibrating in indignation. Helena was still standing in the same spot, looking amused, even as Diggle warily glanced back and forth between them. Roy just looked disappointed.

"Fun as this reunion is." Helena drawled. "I believe I was recruited for a rescue mission?"

"Yes." Oliver answered. "We've narrowed it down to two possible locations." He pushed lightly on her shoulders and Felicity stepped forward, sitting back down stiffly in her seat.

She pulled up a location on each screen as the others gathered behind her.

"The one on the left is a warehouse owned by Brickwell. The security is pretty extensive for the building supplies his tax returns claim he's holding there and the electricity usage is nowhere near consistent. Plus it's isolated, at the edge of an industrial area and he's visited it often in the last few weeks." She gestured to the other screen. "The one on the right is an old foreclosed apartment structure on the edge of Starling City. It's not owned by Brickwell, but he's been sending guys over every three weeks on security detail. No security cameras with a shot of the building, but there are a few traffic cameras leading up to turn off, and there's regular comings and goings."

Diggle considered the screens. "What's our best bet?"

"The apartment structure." Felicity and Oliver said simultaneously.

Helena snorted quietly and Felicity shot her a dirty look.

"Who owns it?" Diggle asked.

"I don't know." Felicity admitted. "It was part of an affordable housing project, but it went bankrupt during the recession. It was foreclosed on by the city last year so technically they should own it, but I can't find the records."

"Great!" Roy said. "So, we're taking on the empty building with the mysterious owner."

"It's not empty." Oliver said severely.

"Brickwell's security detail is twelve guys." Felicity explained.

Helena arched an eyebrow. "You can take on twelve guys without us." She pointed out.

Oliver glanced at Felicity and she pulled up Brickwells records. "This is from seven months ago." She said.

Diggle gave a low whistle. "Infra-red and heat detecting cameras, motion sensor and lasers, generators," he read aloud. "That place is gonna be a fortress!"

"And going off the email exchange there could be more than one security detail at a time." Felicity said. "So, we could be looking at more than twenty guys."

"We'll need to do recon." Helena said. "Points of entry, blind spots, guard rotations."

"Not to mention figuring out where in the building Walter's being held and the quickest and safest way to get him out." Diggle added.

"So, road trip?" Roy asked.

"Not to be the wet blanket here." Helena said and Felicity scoffed quietly. "But what if that's not actually where Walter is?"

Oliver straightened. "Like you said. We'll need to do some recon." He said. "My stepfather might be in that building and if he is, than we are getting him out." He glanced around at everyone. "Gear up. The apartment structure is over an hour away. We leave in five minutes."

"Finally." Roy mumbled as he turned away.

Diggle shook his head at the boy. "Come on," he said. "We got you a suit." He led the way to the back, Helena and Roy trailing after him.

Felicity watched them go for a moment and then turned back to Oliver, who was looking at her with an uncomfortable expression.

"You're coming too." Oliver said without preamble and Felicity stared up at him in surprise.

"I am?" she asked.

Oliver grimaced. "We know that place is going to be sealed tight, and we're going to need you on site to process all the information from the recon. We're going to take the head-cams, but if we end up having to split up inside, we'll need you to coordinate. And if things go bad and we trigger the security system you won't be able to disable it from here."

Felicity nodded. "All hands on deck." She joked weekly.

Oliver inclined his head. "You'd be in the van the whole time." he said.

"Mobile command center." Felicity corrected him automatically and he smiled. "And I don't mind going." She stood up. "I'll grab everything you guys'll need."

"Hey." He pulled her up short with a hand around her wrist and she watched him as he struggled for a moment to find words to soften whatever he had to say next. "You should grab the first aid kit too." He finally said.

They looked at each for a long moment. "I don't know what state Walter will be in." he said quietly.

Felicity gave a tense nod. "The van is fully stocked, but I'll grab some units of O-neg just in case." She held his gaze.

Oliver returned her nod and let go of her wrist. "We're bringing him home." He said.

'One way or another.' He didn't say. But as she watched him walk away to get changed, the words echoed loudly in her head. Yes, she'd learned to read between the lines a long time ago.

To be continued