"I can't believe I'm finally getting to come in." Kurt gave Sebastian a playful smirk as he pushed past him. "I mean, we've been dating for almost six months, Seb." Kurt hung his jacket up on the coat rack right inside the door. He turned around to face Sebastian and shrugged. Kurt was about to ask Sebastian for his reasoning behind not inviting him over sooner, but thought better of it.
Sebastian shut the door and leaned back against it. "Yeah, well...you're here now, right?" Sebastian pushed himself off the door and stepped up to Kurt and kissed the smirk off his face temporarily. "I'll give you a tour if you promise to keep your comments to yourself about my lack of atheistic, OK?" Sebastian pulled back. He wanted Kurt here. He hadn't shown Kurt his place before because he was scared. Showing someone where you lived and inviting them into your personal space meant opening yourself up to them. Sebastian had worked hard for years to put up his guarded walls. Kurt was slowly getting him to take them down.
"I'll try. No promises." Kurt winked at Sebastian. "Now, come on. I want to see the kitchen." Kurt broke eye contact and grabbed Sebastian's hand, pulling him where he could see a fridge and the kitchen's island.
"Sebastian..." Kurt groaned into Sebastian's mouth and then continued to kiss him. He pulled back, "We are supposed to be touring your apartment." He leaned forward again to kiss up Sebastian's neck and suck along his jawline.
"Fuck. This is much better. You saw the kitchen. The other bedroom and bathroom are boring. This is the best part of my place...my bedroom. Besides, you're on top of me. You could easily get off of me." Sebastian smiled into another kiss, feeling Kurt hard against his hip. He was just as hard.
Kurt brought his mouth over to whisper into Sebastian's ear. "Fine we can tour later. Do you have lube?" Kurt pressed his hips down to meet Sebastian's.
"Yeah, I think it's under my pillow." Kurt raised an eyebrow at him and Sebastian shrugged unashamed, but as soon as Sebastian thought about it and felt Kurt's hands leave him to search for it, he panicked. "Wait. I can -" He scrambled his hands up over his head to stop Kurt's wandering hands, but it was too late.
"Seb, what's this?" Kurt was holding up a big ratted square of fabric. It was a worn, faded cotton blue with a white silk border that had turned a dirty off white from obvious years of use. There were rips in the fabric and some holes in the white binding.
Sebastian sat up and pushed Kurt back so that he was straddling Sebastian's knees. "It's nothing, really." Sebastian reached for it, but Kurt pulled it back and inspected it further. "Kurt, please. Give it to me." Sebastian was getting pissed off.
"Honey, is this your baby blanket?" Kurt asked. Sebastian looked into Kurt's eyes to find honest curiosity there. No judgment or teasing. "It's not like you to keep something like this." Kurt handed the blanket to Sebastian and moved to sit next to him on the bed.
"Why does it matter?" Sebastian barked out at Kurt, not caring that he was overreacting.
"I just asked. We do you have to be such an ass sometimes?" Kurt snapped back at Sebastian.
They sat there for a while, both of them silent and unmoving. Kurt was about to tell Sebastian he was going home when he felt Sebastian stir and let out a deep breath.
"I got it when I was a baby from my grandmother." Sebastian's voice was quiet as he looked down at the blanket; a bunch of memories began flooding his mind.
"Can I ask what it says?" Kurt said as he noticed Sebastian rubbing his fingers along an embroidered message.
Sebastian huffed out a little laugh as he looked back up into Kurt's eyes, "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." Sebastian recited the words to Kurt, tears filling his eyes a little. Sebastian scoffed at himself as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "God, look at me. One minute we're about to fuck and now I'm sitting here crying like a baby." He looked up at the ceiling to keep any more tears from trying to fall, quietly laughing at himself.
"Don't do that. Seb, look at me." Kurt pulled Sebastian's chin down with his thumb. He leaned forward a pressed a quick kiss to Sebastian's lips and then looked him square in the eyes. "That's really wonderful. Plus, it is okay to be emotional every once in awhile. Don't try and turn it off because you think you have to put on some sort of persona to please me." Kurt tilted his head and gave Sebastian a half smile, "And besides, your grandmother would want you to be following this advice." Kurt reached over and grabbed Sebastian's hand that was holding the blanket, wrapping his fingers into it with him.
"Would have. She died last year. 90 years old." Sebastian's smile was a little sad. "Tough woman. Never let me give her crap and was always my biggest fan in everything I did. When she died, I thought I was going to. She had been more of a mother than my own and I just...I miss her. So much." Sebastian's bottom lip was trembling slightly, but he refused to keep crying in front of Kurt. "I used to look at this blanket and feel like I let her down. I am not very courageous. I never let anyone into my life and I was sad and scared most of the time. I just put on this front that nothing bothered me, but it did sometimes. I always thought I'd end up alone and for a while I was okay with that." Sebastian's words were quiet as he looked down at his fingers entwined with Kurt's.
"What happened? Your plants couldn't reply with their own off-putting sarcasm?" Kurt bumped his shoulder into Sebastian's to try and lighten the mood.
"No twink. Then I met you." Sebastian looked up and locked eyes with Kurt. "I want you in my life and I want to be brave. For you. I just wish my grandmother could be here. You know? To see me actually being the young man she raised." Sebastian rolled his eyes at himself as he leaned forward to rest his head against Kurt's. He felt like a weight he hadn't known was present was lifted off his shoulders.
"You are brave. Did you listen to yourself just then? I know that it wasn't a long speech, but it had meaning. Especially to me. I love you, Seb." At the declaration, Sebastian pulled his head back and he looked at Kurt. Kurt's cheeks were tinged with a blush as he turned to smile at Sebastian.
"Of course you do." Sebastian wagged his eyebrows suggestively at Kurt.
Kurt's smile dropped and he used his other hand to smack Sebastian's thigh lovingly. "I do. I know we haven't been dating long, but I do. When I first met you, you were so guarded and I didn't think you'd ever let me in to even try and love you. Yet, here we are. You walls are cracking, you know that?"
"Yes and I love you, too. I really do, babe. God, you've turned me into a fucking baby. Why am I still crying?" Sebastian laughed around a quick sob as he caught Kurt's lips in a desperate kiss.
It had taken some time before Sebastian had stopped crying. He confessed to Kurt that he hadn't cried at his grandmother's funeral. Kurt had told Sebastian that he could cry now and it would stay between them, so Sebastian did.
It was nearly two hours before the memories of his grandmother were shared and the tears were completely gone. Kurt had kissed Sebastian softly over and over until Sebastian's cheeks had dried. Sebastian let Kurt touch his body all over to help soothe him. Clothes were shed and as Sebastian pressed up against Kurt, he let himself crack even more walls.
After they were sated and clean, they crawled under Sebastian's covers, Kurt's back pressed up to Sebastian's chest. "Thank you, babe." Sebastian whispered into the air when they were almost asleep. "I'm so glad I have you to make me brave." He kissed Kurt behind his ear and pulled him closer.
"You were already brave, honey. You just needed someone to help remind you that it was within you." Kurt intertwined his fingers with Sebastian's, squeezing them a bit as they both drifted to sleep.