Joker awoke with a groan at the terrible throbbing in his skull. "Holy headache, Batman!" he muttered, rubbing his temples. "What the hell happ…" It suddenly all came flooding back. "Oh yeah, Bruce Wayne…Batman…Strange…cure for…"

His eyes fell upon Harley dozing next to him in bed. "Cure for the brain-dead blonde here," he muttered, slapping her across the face and waking her suddenly.

"Who you calling brain-dead, you inconsiderate jerk?" Harley snapped furiously, rubbing her eyes. "Just because you're awake don't mean the rest of us wanna be, y'know!"

He stared at her. "Harley, you're…"

"A whole lotta cranky, thanks for asking!" she interrupted, angrily. "Whaddya mean by waking me up like that, huh? Sometimes you're a real bastard, Mr. J, y'know that?"

"Don't talk to me like that, you useless waste of space!" he snapped.

"Then you don't go around randomly punching me, you horrible, abusive monster!" retorted Harley.

"I'll do what I wanna do to you, and you'll like it, you worthless dame!" he retorted.

"You can't go around treating me like trash, Mr. J!" she shrieked. "I ain't gonna stand for it anymore!"

"Yeah? What are you gonna do about it, you dumb broad?" he demanded.

"I'm gonna beat that grin off your stupid face, you goddamn clown!"

"I'd like to see you try, you pathetic bimbo!"

"Lousy, scum-sucking creep!"

"Spoiled little brat!"

Smoke was rising off the pair of them. And the next second they were locked in each other's arms, tearing off their clothes, mouths devouring the other.

"Oh, Mr. J!" woke Jonathan Crane on the sofa in the living room. He was confused as the screams of pleasure continued, along with what sounded like the noise of a whoopie cushion, and grew even more confused when he realized that there were two adult hyenas sleeping on top of him. They awoke at the sound too, and suddenly leapt off him, wagging their tails in excitement and rushing toward the bedroom.

Crane rubbed his eyes as his memories came rushing back. He stood up and headed for the kitchen, where he found a note on the table. Have injected Harley and others with antidote – things should be back to normal. Thought it best she recovered here rather than Arkham. Will be back to collect you all tonight. If you run, I'll find you. – Batman

Crane sniffed. "I'm really scared," he said sarcastically. He took the note and headed back down the hall, where he found the hyenas whining and scratching at the bedroom door. Crane knocked.

"Come in!" called Joker cheerfully.

Crane opened the door to see Joker sitting up in bed smoking a cigar, with Harley cuddling against his chest, beaming at him in happiness. The hyenas immediately jumped onto the bed, yipping excitedly and licking Harley.

"Hello, babies!" cried Harley, hugging them. "Did you miss Mommy? Did you? Mommy missed you, yes she did! Aren't you just the sweetest babies in the world, yes, you are! Yes, you are!"

"H…Harley," stammered Crane, trying not to notice the fact that she was only partially clothed. "Good to…see you…back."

"Thanks, Johnny!" said Harley, smiling at him. "I'm glad to be back too! Thanks for helping Mr. J rescue me – if there's ever any way I can repay you, you let me know!"

"Yes…yes, of course I will," he murmured. "Batman left a note," he said, handing it to Joker.

Joker read it, grinning. "He's so melodramatic!" he chuckled. "You gotta love the guy, really! Well, we can't waste all morning lazing around in bed!" he cried, reaching for his robe. "We've got places to go and people to kill! Right after breakfast! You wanna make breakfast, Johnny? I'd make Harley do it, but she's a terrible cook."

"Yeah, I really am, Johnny," she sighed. "I always burn the toast."

"Isn't that quite difficult to do if you have a toaster?" asked Crane.

"You would think," she agreed.

"I never cease to be amazed at Harley's incompetence," sighed Joker.

"Aw, I love you too, puddin'," she breathed, kissing him.

Crane left them to go make breakfast. After which he said his farewells, wanting to get to a new hideout well before Batman showed up. He left in high spirits after Harley kissed him on the cheek for his help. He was also pleased that the hyenas were sad to see him go, but Joker assured him this was more because they were disappointed of being robbed of a potential meal rather than feeling any kind of affection for him.

"Well, we'd better make a move too," sighed Joker, shutting the door after him. "Don't really want to be dragged back to Arkham for a little while, just to make sure all the crazy doctors are outta there. But I reckon we got about three hours before the Bat shows up."

"Yeah? What do you wanna do in those three hours, puddin'?" murmured Harley, ruffling his hair.

He chuckled. "I've got a real good idea, pumpkin pie," he murmured, kissing her and lifting her off her feet. "C'mere."

Harley giggled, leaning adoringly against his chest. But to her surprise, he didn't take her to the bedroom, but placed her down in the living room, where a mess of dishes, clothes, and general filth greeted her eyes. "You wanna clean up the place?" he said. "We shouldn't leave a messy hideout for Bats to find. It's tacky."

"Oh…well, I…" stammered Harley.

"Also, there's a pile of clothes in the bedroom that needs washing if you're gonna do the laundry," he said, plopping down on the sofa and flipping on the TV, as Bud and Lou curled up at his feet. "Thanks, baby, you're an angel."

"Sure thing…Mr. J," said Harley, slowly. She looked around at the chaos, and then at the man sitting in the middle of it, and smiled. "I'll get the mop."

The End