WARNING: Self-inserts detected. Proceed at your own risk.

Yes, there are self-insert characters in here. Each one a member of the fanfiction writing group known as Ala Iridia.

Putting self-insert characters into a story is something reserved for either brand-new writers starting out who don't realize that it is a Bad Idea, or for far more experienced writers looking for a unusual plot twist. I am fairly certain that I do not fall into either of those categories.

By the way, I don't own Negima, any of its characters, or any members of Ala Iridia. The members of Ala Iridia do not own Negima, any of its characters or me. But the members of Ala Iridia do own their self-inserts. There you go.

.

.

Chapter 6 Nobody Arrives to Help
by UberNimrod, with help from SCM, Anemoi, Sinclair, EvaUnit, The Nobody, IANCE. and Calm and Insane

.

Time: Unknown.
Relative Time: Approximately 5 hours after insertion.
Location: Unknown.
Relative Location: Wales, United Kingdom.

.

.

"That looked like it hurt." IANCE said, as EvaUnit and Anemoi rushed to my aid.

I really wanted to make a snarky remark to that comment. "Uhhhhh!" was the best I could manage at the moment.

Having someone fall off the pharmacy roof and land on you after getting hit in the head by some sort of plastic case falling out of the sky will frustrate attempts at snarkiness.

The aforementioned was either unconscious or faking it rather well. One would be forced to wonder why that was.

Unfortunately he was also keeping me from breathing, being as he was lying across my chest. Combined with the impact of the fall itself and the blow to my head from what I could now see to be a plastic file case, this added to my inability to be able to make snarky remarks, as well as attempt to reason why someone had decided to drop in out of nowhere.

First I'm teleported to another universe, then after a respite to allow that tidbit of information to sink in, I am smacked in the head by a falling filecase, then someone new lands on me. There are names for these sorts of events. Many of which can't be said in polite company.

As I was being helped, several more thumping noises came from the pharmacy roof. I managed to get one hand free in case I needed to shield my skull from more falling objects.

It turned out I needn't have bothered. The thumps were on the other side of the doorway. Before I could wonder what the noise was about, the answer became clear as several soft-sided suitcases fell from the roof followed by two large backpacks.

By the time the mystery person was lifted off me, IANCE had already approached the luggage. I found myself breathing easier in multiple ways.

The pharmacy door opened to reveal curious and concerned members of Ala Iridia peering outwardly just as our newest arrival started to rouse himself awake. "Hey guys? Can you grab the stuff that hit the roof just now?" Anemoi asked as he helped the new person up. EvaUnit managed to pull me upright with some difficulty. I concede that I am not a small person.

Several people grabbed up the luggage and backpacks, but managed to leave the file case for me to grab as I carefully made my way back inside. EvaUnit stayed near me as he had seen me getting smacked. I turned to him and said, "Better find a Tylenol bottle for me when we get inside." He nodded as he followed me in.

Once inside, we found several people unpacking warm clothing from the suitcases. Limit and Cygnus were taking packets of something from one of the backpacks as Anemoi and Sereg did the same with the other one.

"Tea candles?" asked Sereg, peering at the package in his hands. "Why not bigger candles?"

"The larger candles don't provide as much light. Those little candles may not last long, but they give off lots of light." came the reply from Anemoi.

"There is a fair amount of firewood that we've gathered. The candles are only so we can see at night I think." EvaUnit added as he went to the shelves to grab aspirin for me.

"Firewood good." I quipped as I went around to the counter.

"PSU Gorillas?" Calm asked as he held up a sweatshirt.

"What really?" I asked. When I saw that he was indeed holding up a sweatshirt with the gorilla mascot on it, I cheerfully called, "Dibs!"

"There is also a shirt with the logo as well." Calm added.

"Considering that the shirt I have on is ruined, that might come in handy too," I said, placing the file case on the counter.

"You know that school?" Mega-dark asked.

"I graduated from there." I admitted.

Calm threw the shirt and sweatshirt to me as everyone else sorted out the clothes and supplies. There was packets of trail mix, beef jerky, and mixed nuts in one backpack. The tea candles, matchbooks, and dried fruit packets were in the other backpack. I placed my new shirts on top of the case and peered at the newcomer.

He was dressed in normal clothes, and looked about average. Nothing special stood out except for the fact that his mustache and beard was almost opposite mine. My beard, if it can be called that, looked about as scraggly as his mustache, whereas his beard looked as nice as my mustache. I decided then to shave off my own attempt at a full beard and just settle for a doorknocker style beard, since I did look alright with that.

"Let me guess," I said to him as everyone turned to see what I was doing. "You frequent the TVTropes boards. Am I right?"

"Well, I lurk most of the time," he replied.

"Ah, but most of the time means you do comment some. Might I ask your online name?"

"Ummm..."

"We won't bite you. Really, we won't."

"Welll..."

"We might cut you to ribbons intellectually if you believe that the ending of the Negima manga was satisfying, but we won't bite you," I added.

"Pardon?" Boy, did that shock him to life.

I nodded before continuing, "There is a good portion of the All Purpose Negima Fanfiction Thread here. Why that is, we have no idea."

"Really? I mean, all of you..."

I nodded again as several others joined in.

"That explains why the thread was so quiet yesterday," he said.

"Huh?"

I had no idea who that was, but that was also my sentiment.

"I mean, there was almost nothing posted yesterday. Not that I thought about it much since I don't post often..." he started to say.

Anemoi cut him off, "Wait up. Who are you?"

"Oh. I'm The Nobody. Pleasure to meet all of you."

"The Nobody?" IANCE asked.

The new arrival nodded.

"Oh, yeah! I remember you!" said Sereg. A few of the others also nodded in agreement.

"Well, now that we have that established, all of you can introduce yourselves and fill him in on what he's missed while I try to find a restroom," I said.

"Up the hallway on the right. But be careful. The toilet doesn't work." IANCE said.

"Oh? Let me look," I said as I left to do such. Conversation resumed as I went up the hallway. Two doors were on the right side of the hallway, with the second door leading to the area that connected the pharmacy and deli. I went to the first one and opened it.

It was indeed a restroom. Complete with a toilet, a sink, and a hand pump to provide water for both. I had to stare at the fixture for a moment, surprised that something like that would be here. Then I remembered that this village was supposed to be remote, and realized that rural water was a bit much to ask for. Especially someplace where most of the inhabitants were more skilled in magic than technology.

It occurred to me that there ought to have been something used to prime the pump, such as a glass filled with water. I stepped out of the restroom and wandered to the living area to search.

Moments later I returned to the others in time to witness everyone agreeing that whatever series that Akamatsu worked on next, it would not be as good as Negima was.

"Gentlemen, who wants to learn how to work the pump in the bathroom?" I asked.

After giving everyone a lecture on the importance of priming a pump before use, as well as remembering to fill the Mason jar with water to use for priming the pump, I was reminded that there was a file case waiting on me to open it.

"None of you opened it?" I asked.

"It hit you in the head. Therefore we decided it was obviously meant for you to open it," Rikalous said as a few of the others nodded.

"Gee thanks. Are you going to go hide in the kitchen while I open it?"

"No, we are going to hide inside that walk-in freezer. It has thicker walls," IANCE said.

"Ha ha. Very funny." I went behind the counter and opened up the case.

"Is it full of money?" SCM asked.

"No. At least not that I can tell," I said as I pulled out a file folder out and opened it up. "Oh wow!"

"Oh wow?" SCM asked.

I didn't say a word as I went to the pharmacy shelves and grabbed a pen and a set of small notepads and brought them back to the counter. After opening the notepads, I started scribbling as fast as I could manage while everyone else wondered what the heck I was doing. Several seconds went by before I set the pen down, held up the folder, and called out, "Iridia Roll Call! NoLimit!"

"Huh?" Limit asked.

"Come get this." I waved the folder around a little so he understood what I meant.

"Iridia Roll Call? Really?" IANCE asked as Limit went up to get the folder.

"'Iridia! Transform and Roll Out!' doesn't make any sense," I said, grabbing another folder and resuming my writing.

"How about 'Iridia Assemble?'" Rikalous asked.

"That sounds better to me anyway," I replied.

Eventually, everyone got their own folder. Each folder had their TVTropes forum name at the top. Each folder had the same things inside: passport, drivers license or photo identification, some important papers or cards such as birth certificates and other things needed for bureaucracy to function properly, and a hundred pounds of British currency. There was a few sheets of paper that had information about their new backgrounds, history, and other details. There was also another sheet of paper that was a resume, complete with references, that could be copied and used as needed. Inside a few of the folders was something special, like the sandwich bag with some small pills in my folder or the ring that was in OverMaster's folder.

My notepad was filling up with names, aliases, and several numbers. IANCE peered at the list when I finally finished writing.

NoLimit Fake Name = Bruce Kane
Sinclair Fake Name = Henry MacGregor
Immi Fake Name = Kit Duane
IANCE Fake Name = Roberto Peña
EvaUnit Fake Name = Sean Grayson
Calm and Insane Fake Name = Grant "Gir" Vasquez
Marq Fake Name = Kuroro Hiroyama
Mega-dark Fake Name = Light "Rock" Inafune
Rikalous Fake Name = Jack Burton
Anemoi Fake Name = Matthias Davidson
OverMaster Fake Name = John Burroughs
Sereg Fake Name = Yuuno Tsuzuki
TheNobody Fake Name = Gilbert Brown
Cygnus Fake Name = Toori Kawakami
SCM Fake Name = Kaede Senou
My Fake Name = Woodrow Jacob Heinlein

"Why are you writing all of that down anyway?" IANCE asked.

"I agree. Writing all of this down is a bad idea." Sinclair added.

"They-they know our handles, the forums we hang out in, even our favorite characters!?" cried Sereg. "Who-who are these people!? What else can they do!? Have they read our minds!?" He clutched his hands to his face and stepped backwards until he hit the wall, as everyone turned to face him. "Are they going to blackmail us!? Threaten our friends and families!? Our past selves!? Do we have past selves!?" He was breathing rapidly and heavily, bordering on hyperventilation as he sank to his knees. "They can teleport us, send us through time and/or dimensions, know who we are, organize fake identities for us ... How powerful are they!? What do they want!? Why us?! How am I supposed to use a fake identity!? I suck at lying! I hate it! I'm not a secret agent! What do we do what do we do what do we do?" He sat on the floor and grasped his knees to his chest, rocking himself as he shivered and gasped in deep breaths. "Does-does being here threaten existence!? Will we die if we interfere with our past selves or anything else!? Are we already dead!? Did this happen in the manga and we all died before Negi's graduation!? What's going on!?" Sereg sighed. "I need tea."

"You want to know what we're going to do? We're going to stay alive for these three days or so, and worry about that when we need to. For now we take it one day at a time. If 'these people' wanted something from us they would have told us. Or if they wanted us dead it would have been way easier to teleport us into the sun, so that isn't the case." Calm reasoned, trying to reassure Sereg. "In fact they're more likely to be doing this for fun, so your reaction is only encouraging them."

EvaUnit blankly stared at Sereg for a moment. "Given that we seem to be in the Akamatsuverse, I'd say it's about a 50 percent chance that we have Chao Lingshen to thank for this predicament. She's already demonstrated mastery of time and interdimensional travel, so assuming that she can break the fourth wall to take us from our reality, that's probably what's happened." He paused, before adding, "Granted, that leaves the question of a motive, but given that she's practically Aizen and Xanatos rolled into one, we'll probably end up seeing her objective through regardless of what we say or do, or even regardless of whether or not we know what that objective is."

"Negimaverse."

"Huh?" EvaUnit asked, turning to face me along with everyone else.

"We know we are in the Negima universe because we have seen Negi and Nekane, as well as a couple of other characters from the manga. If we are in the Akamatsuverse, then we have a chance of running into characters from not only Negima, but A. I. Love You and Love Hina as well. Until Motoko tries to kill me with her sword, I will just assume we are in the Negima universe," I said. "As for why I am writing things down, I am absent-minded enough to need to write down everything I need to remember. Once I get what I need committed to memory, then I will burn the papers. And I mean burn. People can sort through trash," I added. "Has anyone figured out how or why our fake names were created?"

"Yes, because ninja techniques can be learned by sorting through the scrolls in the trash." IANCE said.

"Huh?" EvaUnit asked.

"That's in one of the Naruto/Negima crossover fanfics. Naruto learns several techniques because he goes through the trash of everyone in Konoha for the scrolls they throw away." IANCE explained.

"That is the dumbest thing I have heard. They didn't burn them?" Rikalous asked.

"Evidently not." IANCE said.

A quickly suppressed laugh from me had everyone looking at me again wondering what was so funny. "Sorry, sorry everyone. Pay no attention to the senile old person who just remembered something from Order of the Stick."

"Do tell," Anemoi said.

"I'm sorry, but I imagined Naruto finding a scroll in someone's trash. 'Hey, this scroll says that someone learned Explosive Runes today.'"

That got a chuckle out of most everyone, including Sereg.

"Feeling better now?" I asked him.

Sereg nodded. "I'll be fine for now anyway."

"Well good. Back to my question then. I can tell how my fake name was created, but how was yours created?" I asked.

"Well, mine seems to be a combination of one of my favorite characters and authors," Limit said.

I nodded, "Bruce Wayne, the Batman and Bob Kane, the author that came up with the character. I've heard worse ways of coming up with fake identities."

It turned out that most everyone else's fake names were created the same way. Rikalous's name came from Jack Skellington and Tim Burton. OverMaster's name was a combination of John Greystoke aka Tarzan, and E.R. Burroughs. Then there was mine.

"A horrible combination of Woodrow Wilson Smith, alias Lazarus Long, another character named Jacob Burroughs, and their author Robert Heinlein. Woodrow Jacob Heinlein. Mine sticks out like a sore thumb," I said.

There were only two names that eluded everyone. IANCE said that the fake name he had was the fake name he used when the need arose. Mage however, was a little confused as to the origin of his fake name.

"I have no idea where that came from. It doesn't make any sense." he complained.

"Well, who's your favorite character?" Anemoi asked.

"Harry Dresden. No wait! Vin. No! Mat from the Wheel of Time series. No, wait! Arrrg!" SCM held his head in frustration.

"I think I see the problem." Calm said. Everyone else just nodded.

"I like Nimrod's name. It lets me say 'Morning Wood!' every time I see him in the morning." IANCE said.

I rolled my eyes, "You really are a Jerkass, aren't you?"

IANCE nodded, "I've been saying that for some time now."

"Well, you are not a total jerkass, as you've been translating for OM anyway," I said.

"Actually, I can understand all of you much better now." OverMaster admitted.

"Oh?"

OM held up his hand so that the ring was visible on it. "Apparently this ring is helping me understand everyone's English."

"I feel ripped off. All I got was pills in mine for my diabetes, which is a bit of letdown since we are in a pharmacy after all. Actually I didn't look through everyone's folder thoroughly. Did anyone get any nifty things?"

"Nope."

"Not really."

"I suppose I should see what is in the last two folders then, since they seem to be sort of important," I said even as I wandered back to the counter.

"Important how?" Rikalous asked.

"Well, the first folder has four dollar signs at the top. Money is usually important if you are in a strange place," I said, taking the file in question from the case and opening it. After giving the contents a quick perusal, I glanced up at the others and said, "Stock certificates."

SCM looked like he'd been kicked in his remaining leg. "Stock certificates?"

"Stock certificates?" perked up the newly-arrived Nobody. "To what? Are they bearer or registered?"

"We need to be careful with stocks, " said Sereg. "They can be hard to sell when you need the money. Trust me. I know that from experience."

I held up a hand to stop further discussion, "Considering that two of these certificates indicate shares in Starbooks, I would think some of you would be rather happy." I resumed perusing the papers, "It looks like there are also shares in Microtech, Relational Software Incorporated, Air Southwest, and Sam's."

"Sam's?" asked Anemoi.

I nodded, "Since the company logos are on the certificates, it's obvious that Microtech is Microsoft, Air Southwest is Southwest Airlines, and Sam's is Walmart. I'm not sure about this Relational Software Incorporated though."

"Let me see?" asked Rikalous.

I handed him the certificates in question. He glanced at them and announced, "Relational Software is what Oracle's name was before it became Oracle."

"Hmmm. Oracle has been around for ages right?" I asked.

Anemoi nodded, "Quite some time."

"Which makes me wonder when these stocks were purchased."

"What do you mean?" Rikalous asked. I became the center of attention again as everyone looked my way.

I managed to remain calm enough to answer, "Well... Think about it. One hundred shares of Walmart now is not worth a lot of money. But if those shares had been purchased shortly after they went on sale..."

"They would be worth much more." IANCE finished.

I nodded, "Especially in paying out dividends. Which is what I think someone had in mind." I handed the folder and certificates to Anemoi for him to hold before grabbing the last folder out of the case.

The heading read 'Paperwork.' I opened it up and glanced at the contents.

Everyone present saw me sigh and close the folder before I wandered over to the reading glasses display. Before anyone could ask, I answered, "I don't suppose anyone can translate Legalese into something resembling English can they?"

"Well, I can at least try to, " offered Sinclair. "I've read a few legal documents in my life."

As I looked for a decent pair of reading glasses, EvaUnit suggested, "Go at it one sentence at a time to keep from getting too messed in the head from it."

"I'm already messed in the head thank you kindly," I muttered as I tried on a pair. Seeing as they fit my head comfortably, I returned to the counter and started studying the paperwork in question. Sinclair came up and peered over my shoulder at the documents.

"What the heck?" he asked. "Iridia Investment Club?"

I nodded, "Now you understand why I wanted someone to help me read this."

"I might help too, " Nobody lifted his hand. "Two heads are better than one."

"Microtech just ruined all possible 'Small Penis with Erectile Dysfunction' jokes I could have made, and this makes me sad," IANCE said.

"Why is it every time I type 'win,' I lose?" I mused as I studied the paperwork.

The light had faded considerably when the three of us finished our efforts. By 'finished,' I mean 'gave up.'

"It's paperwork," Sinclair answered when everyone turned to look at us.

I nodded, "Paperwork to be filed with the appropriate agencies for restarting a club, as well as a constitution, bylaws, rules, and liabilities. According to everything written here, those stock certificates were used in order to have the funds to found the club."

"Really?" asked EvaUnit.

I picked up one of the papers and flipped it open so I could recite, "The initial funds for the founding of the Iridia Investment Club are as follows, then it lists all of the stocks afterwards. It even has the purchase dates of the stocks. Which is of relevant interest, since the shares of Sam's were purchased on October the first, nineteen seventy." I made sure to glance at everyone before adding, "The day they were issued."

"So, basically, they're worth a lot of money, right?" asked IANCE.

"If they were to be sold since the stock has split numerous times since that date. But it also means that the money from the dividends is also worth quite a lot as well, Especially if that money has been sitting in a bank like the paperwork suggests." I said.

Anemoi nodded, and pursed his lips. "Sounds like someone's put a lot of thought into this whole thing."

I looked up at him. "Yeah, most of this stuff doesn't look like it was easy to set up. I had no idea that clubs had official paperwork to file, and who knows how much effort went into the stock purchases, bank accounts and such. Honestly, it looks as if this was all set up so that we wouldn't have to go looking for work right away, even though most of us had a resume or something like one in their file, as well as a note with suggestions written on it."

"But if someone went through all the trouble to set this up, why not do something more proactive?" IANCE asked.

The Brooklyn giant stood up and sheathed his knife. "Dunno. Never had a head for riddles. I'm gonna go check on Negi and Nekane."

"You know, without this we would have so much trouble actually surviving without going the DF route that it wouldn't be funny. I mean, I can do a bit of carpentry and mechanics, but all our documents would be obviously fraudulent, and without them we can't hope to land a job. And I don't suppose any of you know gardening good enough to feed us, not to mention... I'm ranting ain't I?" Sinclair asked.

I said to IANCE, "Heck, why do this at all? I get the new papers and such in our folders, but why set up any sort of residual income for us? To me, organizing a club to use as a cover is enough." I turned to glance up the hallway that Anemoi had just went into to see if he was out of earshot before continuing, "Speaking of the club, I noted in the paperwork that the positions had not been filled in yet. With that in mind, I'd like to nominate Anemoi as president."

"Nope. You're it," IANCE said.

"I agree with him. You're it Nimrod," Limit said. Calm, Rikalous, Cygnus and Mega-dark also nodded agreement.

"Now wait a moment guys. I have the diplomacy skills of a thrown brick," I said.

"You're the oldest among us. You know more than we do," Sinclair said. "Besides, you've been diplomatic on the boards."

"That means nothing, you know?" I asked.

"Maybe so, but you're still leader. I certainly don't want the job," Anemoi said as he reentered the room, "Everyone is still asleep by the way."

"And I do?" I asked. "C'mon guys, I'm an idiot. If you knew about my past, you'd agree with me. I suck at taking care of stuff, plus I am the typical absent-minded genius as well."

"I'm good at fixing things," countered Anemoi.

"Maybe so, but if we are going to use a private social club as a cover, then someone diplomatic needs to be in charge," I said. "Look, let me tell you a couple of stories about myself. Back when I was in college, I was in a Speech class that was taught on rotation. Meaning that we had a different teacher each week. When the head of the local NOW chapter came in..."

"Wait, NOW?" Sereg asked.

"National Organization for Women. Feminist group," Rikalous explained.

"Ah. Ok," Sereg nodded.

"When she came in, the first thing she said and wrote on the board was, 'Men don't listen.' Now most of us I assume have some sort of filter between their brain and their mouth so that they do not blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. That filter didn't get a chance because it couldn't stop the one word that escaped from my mouth," I said.

I let a pause hand in the air while hoping someone would guess. After a few seconds, Rikalous asked, "What did you say?"

I smiled, "What?"

"No really, what did... Oh. I get it," he nodded.

"It was also proof that women don't listen either, since she blamed someone on the opposite side of the room we were in. Meanwhile, everyone else in that class stared at me as if asking, 'What the heck is wrong with you?'"

"Were you at least cleaning out your ear with your pinky when you said it?" asked IANCE.

"Nope. She was facing the board when I said that," I replied.

"Do we have to choose the Club President immediately? We're in the middle of a half-destroyed town, surrounded by snow. I don't think this Investment Club business would matter for at least another month - and that gives us enough time to see who's good at doing what," Nobody asked.

"Seconded. For now we need to concentrate on making it though the night, and the next few days, until we can get Nekane some help. Do you guys remember if there was anything in the manga about who originally found her?" Sinclair asked before adding, "Speaking of which, did they slaughter the whole village but us?"

Nobody winced slightly, hearing that. He furrowed his brow, but didn't say anything. I could understand why. He arrived late to the party, so to speak. I was certain the others had filled him in, but maybe not fully yet.

The pause gave IANCE a chance to ask, "There wasn't anything said, as far as I remember. But she's a Springfield, it wouldn't surprise me if she was made of stern enough stuff to crawl all the way to the closest magical settlement with Negi... Which actually makes me wonder... Are we as tough as humans in this world?"

"That's actually a very good question, but I don't suppose anyone is gonna volunteer to be the one we verify this on..." Sinclair said.

IANCE replied, "No real need to. We just need to get into a regular exercise schedule and compare the results, if it's a quick improvement that takes us beyond what we know should be possible in a short amount of time..." He shrugged.

I cleared my throat. Once I had everyone's attention again, I continued, "Yes we do need this. For two reasons. The first one being this post-it note on the club paperwork that says 'File ASAP in Swansea.' I think I removed it before you got to see it," I nodded at Nobody, "so that is my fault. Once we file that, we should be able to access whatever funds have built up instead of busting our asses looking for living accommodations, honest work, and so on. If there is any amount of money in those funds, we can look for a house for all of us. But the second reason is more important."

I inhaled before continuing, "We need to present a unified front. Simple as that."

"Hmm?" asked Nobody.

I glanced at him, "You didn't get to see how bad things got. You can see the aftermath, but it was worse being in the middle of it. I do not want Nekane or Negi thinking we are some group of people who met on the internet suddenly deciding to go play hero. I like to think we are better than that. For the moment, I have no idea what Nekane thinks of us, and I am not sure I am eager to find out what she thinks of me. I distinctly remember hearing a woman's voice as I passed out. I'm guessing that was her. For all I know, she might have a dim view of me since I got her cousin stabbed."

"A house divided falls in on itself," Anemoi sighed. "Even if we don't, we need to look like we know what we're doing. Remember, we're storytellers, authors, writers, what have you. A cover-story should be easy. After that, we just need to become as good as we say we are."

"Does that mean we need to work on the cover-story then?" I asked.

That earned me a nod from Anemoi, "At least for now anyway."

"Alright. Discussion of leadership of the investment group can wait until we are rescued. Any ideas for the cover-story then?" I asked.

Everyone started thinking then. While they did so, I stepped from around the counter to go over to the cooler to get a bottle of soda for myself. After I did, I turned around to face the group.

Then I screamed.

Anemoi, Rikalous, and a few of the others were trying to reassure Nekane that I only react that badly when I am surprised. Sereg, EvaUnit, Negi, and most everyone else was trying to help me put my heart back into my chest where it belonged.

IANCE was off to the side, laughing hysterically at the whole situation. I suppose I couldn't blame him, I'd do the same thing, but hopefully with a bit more decorum.

Nekane and Negi were taking things rather well I thought. Negi was giving me looks of concern at least.

I wasn't sure if it was concern for my welfare or concern for my mental state. In my defense, I would think that anyone would scream if they saw a glowing woman floating up a dark hallway.

Nobody else seemed to be having any issue with Nekane floating around though.

I sat up and looked at Negi, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright."

I nodded, "Good." I glanced over at Nekane and everyone around her, "And how is Nekane?"

"I am alright as well. Sorry to have startled you," she said.

"Oh no. You'd be quite surprised at how often I see glowing, floating women," I chuckled.

Nekane smiled, then glanced over at our newest member, "I don't remember seeing him earlier."

"Well, he does tend to drop in unannounced. We're still getting used to that," I said, "We have sandwiches if you're hungry? Although I should ask you the standard questions, meaning, what is today, and such."

"And such?" Nekane asked.

I nodded, "Today's date, including the year, and who the Prime Minister is. Although most medical people have stopped asking about the Prime Minister, as it was making patients depressed."

"Well, today is March the twelfth, nineteen ninety-eight."

Omake

Red Pill/Blue Pill

by UberNimrod

Late that evening...

I stared at the sandwich bag that had been in my folder. Inside were ten little red pills that reminded me of the old Sudafed allergy pills that I used when I was growing up. On the bag was a label with "For your diabetes. Take two of these now, then one twice a day." written on it.

The smiley face at the end, plus the style of the writing itself suggested a female hand had done the writing. I had a suspicion that this was Chao's handiwork.

Which bothered me more than a little.

I mean, this is Chao Lingshen we are talking about here. EvaUnit was right when he described her as Aizen and Xanatos combined. She is more than capable of doing what needs doing if she has her mind set to it.

So why bring us here in the first place? What possible reason did she have for bringing us here?

First of all, she had to have known that we would wind up in this building. Pharmacy and deli combined under one roof. As well as four very strong brick walls not prone to catching fire when the rest of the village burned.

It was a darn shame that the pharmacist was probably petrified with everyone else. I'd like to have met him as I figured he was either extremely friendly, or the sourest curmudgeon in existence. Anyone who had hand pumps for water as well as quite a lot of wood for warmth was either a survivalist or just plain cheap.

But if Chao knew that we would make it to this building, why go to the trouble of giving me pills for my diabetes?

Obvious answer? They weren't for the diabetes.

But if they were not for that, then what were they for?

I had taken two of them earlier, but I wasn't feeling anything out of the ordinary yet. But I had to assume that there was a very good reason for me to take them.

Or at least someone had a good reason for me to take them. Time would tell what that was.