Chapter 2

Disappointment was rarely the case when it concerned Lawliet. His wrist met the bed frame harshly, but it could never be compared to the pain he has endured before that. After his defeat in Los Angeles, he was sent away to a Californian prison, where he had been at the stationery for almost a year, recovering from his attempt to burn himself alive. When the rumour of the heart attacks among criminals spread and Beyond found out about L's hideout in California, he reacted immediately. For three weeks he pondered over a plan on how to escape this hell. Tricking the guards couldn't have been easier than stealing a balloon from an infant.

Two years after the LA murder cases, his skin had formed scars all over his marred body. The burns were severe and Beyond still shivered at the memory of the flickering flames tearing off his flesh little by little. All remained in the past now, he'd be better off not thinking about it.

"You…"

It almost hurt, seeing the one he idolized look at him with such disgust. The other male backed off to the closest wall.

"I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."

"How should I trust you, B?"

"Because, unlike you, I have never broken a promise, L!" This ought to silence him for a minute.

Long time ago, everyone would have said they look like twins. Beyond was known as the evil twin of L. Long time ago didn't seem that long ago. Until two years ago the similarities between them were almost frightening. Now the famous detective was probably looking at his worst nightmare. Beyond had given up on surpassing him, but he didn't want to give up his dream of creating a moment so memorable for L that forgetting it wouldn't even be possible in case of amnesia.

"I'm here to…" he began to murmur with his eyes fixed on the ground beneath him, "I'm here to apologize. In the past I have been horrible to you, but I didn't intend to be."

Red-brown eyes lifted to meet deeply grey ones. His voice gained a certain security as he continued speaking. "I blamed you for A's death, even though… even though I knew A himself was to blame. I was angry at everyone, you and Watari and Roger. None of you noticed he was under this much stress and back then, it seemed so logical to hate all of you to the core." L lowered his gaze, unable to maintain eye-contact any longer.

"I want to apologize for being… a heartless murderer. I might be crazy, out of my mind, completely bonkers, but never would I do anything without a reason. I killed those people and it was the greatest thrill one could ever experience. But getting killed hurt. Surviving completely broke me apart. I would have been better left of dead, right?" A sigh slipped from his lips.

"But Lawliet, I know I probably disgust you, I know you resent me and my presence, I know you're thinking about waking up Watari and kill me right on the spot. I know you hate me."

"I don't."

"What?"

"I do not resent you, Beyond. I don't hate you, I never did."

A long silence followed after that. Beyond couldn't believe his ears. They stared at each other and Beyond saw something special in L. He might not have been the healthiest, or the best-looking man on this planet, but it didn't matter to the murderer. Lawliet looked alive and content. Strangely, all the fear that he recognized in his eyes at the beginning had faded, replaced by a calm expression.

"This Kira person, who is killing all the criminals one by one, will get me soon. I can feel it, my life draining out of me. I can't see my own numbers, but not being able to see everyone else's numbers would be a relief. I watch every one of those criminals, stronger and taller than me, getting killed by a single heart attack."

"Do you know anything about the way he kills people? Is it a virus he created or anything like that?" L seemed to be interested in the case now. It was as if he could never be interested in Beyond's feelings.

"No. I have heard things though and remembered reading stories about the shinigami. Do you remember them?"

"Of course I do. Your eyes…"

"Yes. I heard about something that only shinigami posses, L. It's called a Death Note. I suppose it's self-explanatory?" L nodded his head.

"But how would it work? A notebook killing people, how would that work?"

"I'm… I'm not sure, Lawliet."

"Thank you, Beyond."

"L?"

"Yes?"

"This is good-bye then?"

The raven haired nodded his head. He looked like he couldn't speak. In that moment, all their shared childhood memories came flashing back to his mind. From the moment they met to their first game together, to their first kiss together, because they never knew what it was like to kiss someone. Beyond felt his throat tighten as he tried to swallow down the tears. Hastily, he moved to take a step forward. This was good bye and there were so many things left unsaid. He saw those dark eyes, reminding him of the night and of everything that could have been. A million what if's, but no answers.

Beyond approached L carefully, brushing his lips against L's mouth. It was a silent cry for help, but he knew that L couldn't help him with this matter. All of a sudden he felt hands on his shirt and his eyes widened when L had actually kissed him back. It was much more than a kiss. It was an unforgettable memory not only for L but for B. They closed their eyes and every second mattered. He wanted L back so bad, wanted to feel his warmth again but this was good bye. Only once he tasted salt in his mouth, he realized the tears rolling down his cheek. L's lips felt soft, just like back then, L's hands were delicate and fit perfectly into his own.

He wished it could be forever. But who dares to love forever? After all, this wasn't the end.

This was see you soon. This was I love you. This was forever and always.