A/N: This is the mature version of this fanfic. There's smut and a lot of it. If you prefer a sweeter romance, check my profile for Almost 99% Human, a sweet version of this story. The basic plot between the two is the same, however, due to their relationship developing differently certain scenes are different.

I did two versions because I honestly couldn't decide which one I wanted to do, hahaha.

"God, Buddha, Krishna, Amaterasu, Odin, Zeus, I need something to excite me again." No sooner than the words left my mouth the room shook and rumbled. Great, an earthquake. A case of microscope slides crashed to the floor, scattering glass everywhere. The million dollar instruments jiggled perilously. I barely managed to save my telescope from falling to the floor. I set it upright and seethed at the stars. "Which one of you did that?"

I tip-toed through the broken glass to the kitchen to retrieve a broom and dustpan. The distinct scent of sulfur hung in the air. Did something catch on fire? Do any of those gods govern fire? Well, lightening could cause a fire, but that was an earthquake. My lips pursed. Should the supernatural powers of gods matter to a scientist?

First things first, I needed to observe what went on. I glanced back towards the room and decided against going back in to properly dress. At two in the morning everyone either slept through the quake or were too concerned about their worldly possessions to worry about the smell of sulfur in the air.

None of that prepared me for what I saw when I opened the door. A rather large sphere was in the middle of my lawn. Well, large wasn't a very accurate description. It's the size of my house! And banged up pretty good. Though it sat in a crater, which, I may add, was rather small for the force it would have created on impact, there weren't any skid marks or anything else banged up in the vicinity. The journey to my front lawn probably created those dents and gashes. But why my lawn?

The only thing to do was see what was inside. I knocked on it. The plocking sound was not the crisp clang of metal. My eyebrows arched.

I walked around it, and came around to the back, or rather, the front of the sphere. The aerodynamics of this thing was odd. How is it supposed to enter and break through atmospheres? Fly through space with any sort of speed? I followed a seam line that ran across the front and ended up at a small window.

I leaned up to it, but it was too dark to see inside. I knocked on the window. The plonking sound was akin to glass. I knocked on the material of the ship again. Maybe rock was a good metaphor for the deep plunk it made. At least the glass wasn't foreign. Wherever it came from had silicon, at least. What is the sound of rock being knocked on? Is it more of a clacking sound? It looked like metal though, and rock would crumble under the force of hitting the ground from the atmosphere. A shiver of excitement ran through my body. Maybe it's a new element! Maybe whatever's inside will let me take a chip or two off the ship to analyze at the lab.

Details, Bulma, details! Why worry about the primary element of construction when there was something inside? "Hello," I called, banging on the window. No answer. The crater wasn't too deep, which meant it had some way to soften the landing. If there was organic matter inside, it would have to be okay. So why wasn't it answering?

I knocked on the window again. Which god batted it away from my kitchen? Had to be a cruel one. It needed a remodel for a long time and I'm certain I put space debris on my damage insurance. This was close enough. Wait, would they accept close enough? Those companies were always looking for ways not to give out money.

Hopefully whatever was inside wouldn't be allergic to hydrogen or something. Imagine being the first alien on earth and choking to death on a single atom. A true shame.

If it would open the door, that is, maybe I can find out what's inside.

"Hey," I called again, kicking the space between the seams. "Open up!" Still nothing. "What the hell am I supposed to do with this giant marble in my front lawn?" With an angry scream, I kicked the door with all my power. Pain shot up my shins. I groaned and rubbed it. Something clicked.

It opened.

"For fuck's sake woman, shut up!"

I stumbled backwards in shock.

It spoke our language. It had a male voice. The darkness cloaked the figure, making it hard to see exactly what spoke. It stopped just in front of me. The porch light accented its form. It was a humanoid male. Not just any sort of humanoid male, one whose looks could earn him an immediate spot on the cover of a magazine. Coming outside in just a pair of briefs and t-shirt wasn't a good idea. First impressions, and all.

"Where the hell am I?"

He had the musculature of an Olympian God. His hair blended in with the night sky. It stretched high, straight up, held up by some sort of super galactic hair gel. He put his hands on his hips and glared down at me, eyebrow raised. He wore a skin-tight blue suit and some sort of armor over it, with huge long shoulderpads.

I cleared my throat and answered simply, "Earth." My voice faltered and came out soft. First contact and I sounded like an idiot. Great. Calm down, Bulma, you still don't know if the guy is hostile or not.

"I know that," he growled. "I set my coordinates to this planet!"

Hm, so the navigation mechanism is able to set coordinates to specific planets, but not the place it lands. How interesting this machine seemed make a trek through space with fuzzy navigation systems inside. Our instruments were far more sensitive, it seemed.

I stood and brushed off my bottom. "To be specific, you are on 32 Clear Springs Street."

His eyes narrowed. "And where is this 32 Clear Springs Street?"

I grinned. "On planet Earth."

He held up a single finger and sparks flew from it like a malfunctioning circuit, illuminating the area around us. It was almost comical, like cheesy special effects out of an old movie. Those cheekbones, though, wow.

"I don't have time for your games, woman. Where the hell am I?"

In spite of all this, I didn't feel scared at all. The opposite, in fact. There was something about his face that made me want to tease him a bit. I can't take this guy seriously. "Lighten up will you? Figuratively." I turned and walked to the house, ignoring his fireworks display. "Good one, Bulma," I muttered with a chuckle. The air cracked as a searing heat passed by my arm, tearing a hole through the wall. I walked to the hole and looked through it. It passed cleanly through my entire house.

Any sense of wonder soon gave way to rage. "What is your problem?" I retaliated, stomping over to him. "I know I wanted a new kitchen, but this is going to cost me a fortune to fix! I swear, if you hit any of my instruments I will—"

"You will what," he dared, glaring down at me.

Well, truthfully I couldn't do much, considering he had lightening fingers and more muscles than a bodybuilding competition. There were other ways to settle this. Diplomatically. "Come inside and have coffee."

His brows twisted into obvious confusion. "What?"

I turned on my heels and walked back to the door. "Coffee." He didn't follow, but I went ahead and began fixing a pot anyway. He would come in soon enough once he realized I'm his only option this time of night.

An alien life form. Or maybe a time traveler? The latter would make more sense, considering he understood the language and was humanoid. Hah, humanoid. Maybe I can swipe a hair to run a DNA test and see how human he was. Too bad his sexiness was ruined by that foul attitude.

Just as the last of the brew dripped into the pot the door creaked from him entering. "Over here," I called, and pulled out a couple of mugs. "Sugar or cream?" He said nothing. "Never had coffee before? Try it black first. If you don't like it we can add something to it to make it sweeter." I poured two cups of black coffee and picked them up.

I turned around with the mugs and nearly spilled the contents onto his chest. He stared down at me. We're almost the same height, hair aside. He seemed taller outside. The shininess of his hair could land him a starring role in a Pantene commercial. His face seemed to mirror my curiosity, though he had a haughty glare to go along with it, like he looked down on me. That particular expression wasn't foreign. In my field men gave me that same look every single day. "I know I'm sexy but I've been and gone through the whole bad boy stage. A woman like me needs someone smart and considerate. So put a smile on that face and take the coffee so we can discuss what's going on."

His lush lips twisted downward to a furious scowl. "Why would I want a disgusting earth pig woman like you?"

I gestured to my body. "Don't act like you weren't checking me out a second ago." I pressed the coffee mug to his chest. "Sit down and drink your coffee." He stared at the mug for a moment before grabbing it. The chair screeched against the tile floor as I pulled it back and sat. I pulled up one leg and hugged my knee as I took a sip of the best stuff on the planet.

Alien attire looked strange. For once, the superhero movies got it right. He wore a skintight blue bodysuit with what looked like something resembling fiber optics weaved through it. It glowed periodically. That ivory battle armor, that took the cake. Would Earth weapons cut it? Would bullets penetrate it? I wonder if he'll let me experiment on his clothes.

In any case, it highlighted every curve of his muscular body. On his right arm was a device that wrapped around his entire forearm. It could be a communicator of some sort. There was a screen lit and it had weird symbols on it. I couldn't even begin to imagine how to read that. Do I even know any linguists? The sciences overlapped with the arts sometimes, but no names came to the top of my head. A discovery like this deserved a solid team, not someone who'd spill the beans to media for a quick buck.

As my eyes traveled down his body, I couldn't help but notice his crotch had the same bulge as a human male. Do his species mate like humans? Maybe they're compatible? He didn't seem to notice me staring, probably because he stared at me too. Well, I guess mating was something all species are curious about.

I took another sip and leaned back, trying to act casual. "So, what's your name?"

He sniffed the coffee but didn't take a sip. "I am Vegeta, Prince of the Saiyans."

"Where do you come from, Prince Vegeta?"

He eyed me, possibly with approval. No matter where they come from, royalty must like their egos groomed. If that's all it took then my problems were solved. I took another sip and nodded expectantly.

"I am from Planet Vegeta."

The coffee spilled all over the table as my knee hit the edge with a loud thunk. My cries came out as a mixture of laughter and pain. "It hurts," I moaned though a snort. What did he do, find his own private planet and name it after himself? Why call himself a prince instead of a king? Too much responsibility?

"What is-" he stopped abruptly, staring at me as though I was the one from another planet.

"I'm sorry," I moaned. "Just give me-" I could barely finish in my giggles. "A moment."

In fact, it took several moments to compose myself back to normal. And with a sponge in hand I set to cleaning up the mess. My skin burned as he scrutinized every move I made while indulging in big gulps of the coffee. At least he stared at the clothed half and not the unclothed half. What a gentleman.

"Is everyone on this planet as half-witted as you are?" he finally asked, setting the empty cup in front of me.

I grabbed the cup and walked back to the pot. "Bulma."

"What?" he snapped. "What is a bulma?"

Trails of steam hung in the air as I held out the refilled cup. "My name."

"I don't care about the name of some dimwit girl from a backwater planet!"

I shrugged. "Your navigation instruments may be shoddy, but you are a lucky man." That's not right. "Alien." Would that be considered racist? I smiled generously and settled on "Prince." He seemed to perk up at me using his title. "My field of research is astronomy. I know these stars better than the back of my hand. My Father is head of Capsule Corp, and one of the things they specialize in is space transport. I'm also a part time study in bioengineering for space travel concerns and as an apprentice of my Father for most of my life, a capable enough mechanical engineer. To put it all together, you just landed in the front yard of a woman who can fix your ship, upgrade its navigation systems, and even give you a choice between the scenic route and shortcut to any place in the galaxy you desire along with ensuring you're not in too bad of health."

He blinked. I grinned and gestured to the chair. With a growl he yanked the chair back and sat down across from me, obviously fuming. After gulping the rest of the coffee in one chug, he slid the cup across the table until it hit mine with a loud click. Before I could be impressed at his accuracy he barked, "More coffee, serving woman."

"Do they have manners on Planet Vegeta, Prince Vegeta?"

"Fine," he growled. "Refill the coffee!"

Close enough. "Of course, Prince Vegeta." He must come from a patriarchal society that hadn't seen the rise of feminism. "My credentials aren't enough to impress you. I suppose actions speak louder than words. I'm going to pack a couple of things before we go. I'll be back in a moment."

"What are you talking about?"

I sighed. "On this planet you're about to be big news. So we can either make a break for it while it's still dark or you can try to battle the hoard of newscasters, gawkers, and weirdos that will be knocking on my door." I stroked my chin. "Maybe even military. That's going to be messy. I wonder if my house insurance will cover it?"

"I can take care of myself!"

I nodded and gave a slight smile while mouthing "Okay."

"I don't need you, woman!"

"Bulma," I replied, rising and refilling the cup with the last of the coffee. I walked behind him and set it down in front of him, dangling my arms over his shoulders in a half hug. "And my darling alien prince," I cooed in his ear, "You're not on Vegeta anymore." With a peck on the cheek I sauntered back to my room, grinning as the sweet sound of his gruff growl of frustration reached my ears. He had a temper, and he was more than a little grumpy (though he did just make a trek through the galaxy), but that made him cute. All in all, not a bad experience for a first contact.