Just because I think they painted Meredith in an entirely-too-horrible light. I mean, sure, she is kinda in it for the money, too, but she's not absolutely horrifying. If the girls hadn't met each-other at camp, I'm sure Hallie would have just learned how to put up with the woman and probably get something out of it for her troubles. Just sayin'. Oh and because I got so angry when Nick was being a jerkweed when he smirked after Elizabeth tricked Meredith into going. Like he already knew what the girls were going to do. And to then say "I should remember to thank them one day' after they drove the woman off - I mean, if you don't like her anymore, then tell her, before you effing marry her.

Whew. What a rant. And that's not even the actual story, yet.

Evil. They're pure evil. And I'm not joking.

All I want to do is marry Nick Parker. He's the man of my dreams; charming, funny, smart, motivated, generous, rich and quick to compliment. Have I already mentioned that he's rich? You can't blame a girl for finding that quality quite good when you're planning on starting a life with a man. I don't go to the gym all the time for nothing. And I work very hard, myself. I am a working girl, so it's not like I need his money for my own extra's here and there, though it would be nice if he bought me fancy jewellery on Valentine's day or our anniversary. But when you're living in a huge house and you own worked land, well, you need the money to pay for it.

I signed up for his age and his weird fetish for feet. I signed up for the smell of fertilizer and horse fur. I even signed up for the ridiculously hot weather.

What I did emnot/em sign up for, is those two little devils. Just the one was bad enough, lying straight through her teeth all the time, sitting on daddy's lap when we're trying to get it on even though she's freaking eleven going on twelve. The stupid kid just couldn't handle the fact that she would no longer have her father's undivided attention. And I was emnice/em to her, damnit! I swear, if she had just returned the gesture, we could have had such fun together. I would have taken her out for ice cream and gone clothes-shopping with her and taught her all the tricks of the trade. But no, she just had to be a little spoiled brat. And that good-for-nothing butler, Chessy, is no better than her. The stupid idiot keeps teaching that dog of theirs to bite my hand off when I try to pet it.

So imagine my reaction when I realized there were two of them. Oh, and that their mother happened to be right there when I discovered this – sitting way too close to Nicky for comfort. He seemed instantly mesmerized by the English woman, as though he hadn't really emseen/em her in all their time together.

But she did not appear as smitten. She just seemed happy, in-place, like she had always been that missing puzzle piece in Nicky's heart and knew it. But I wouldn't let her have him. I couldn't. I am the smitten one, and I deserve him. She's just the woman who left him heart-broken when she ran off.

So of course I jumped on the band-wagon when those stupid little devil-children tricked their parents into going on a camping-trip together. How could I let this woman steal my fiancé from me only a week before the wedding? How could he? Didn't he realize where their plan was headed?

But that isn't the worst part yet. The worst part was when the bloody cow decided she wouldn't come with us in the end and insisted that I go with them. She had this stupid little grin on her face when she told me the girls would be half-mine in a few days, but that's not even what bothered me. What bothered me was that Nick had the exact same smirk plastered on to his face as well.

So I took it all in stride and went with them. How could I not? I had to show these girls that I would not back down for anyone. I had fought way too hard to get into Nick Parker's life and I would be damned before I was shoved out of it. Who did those little brats think they were?

Oh, I'll tell you what they are. Devils. Little fucking cockroaches who just need to get squished by an enormous boot.

*pant *

*pant *

"I'm going to kill my trainer. He says I'm in such good shape."

I sit down on a big boulder to catch my breath.

"Could someone pass me my Evian?"

Wonder of all wonders, one of the twerps actually does something nice and hands it to me. Probably 'cause Nicky's just around the corner.

I should have seen it coming. There's a huge lizard perched right on top of my bottle and shriek. I am mortified of lizards.

"I hate things that crawl!"

She grins and says sweetly to Nick when he asks what was up that, "this little guy was on top of her Evian bottle".

"They won't hurt you, Mer'."

"Right. Right, I know that." I could act all cute and 'protect-me' but I know better than that. If I do that now, then I won't be able to cuddle close to him when I admit that I'm afraid of mountain lions.

I let the little devil-spawns know exactly what I think about them and they walk off with grins on their faces.

"Oh, by the way, Mer', I think there's something on your head."

It doesn't take me too long to find the lizard perched . . and to scream like there's no tomorrow. The thing actually crawls over my face – my face, it's crawling over my face, what do I do, get it off, get it off, please I'm scared get it off – and into my mouth and I spit and I cough and I'm so close to tears because it's an actual lizard and mommy please don't make me stay here alone with the lizards just because you need some time alone with daddy. I'm scared of things that crawl. Please.

Thankfully, Nicky shows up and I want to run to him and hug him close and tell him what nasty brats his children are but then he just asks me what happened and he's not being nice to me at all the way he would before he met their stupid mother. Before there were two of them. Before they ruined everything.

But this. This is it. This is the LAST STRAW. This is not just some stupid phobia I have of things that won't really harm me. This is not something irritating like the stupid sugared water they gave me to ward off mosquitoes so the entire population of the little buggers could come and suck my blood. This is not even their disruption into my sex life or the way they pushed me into going on the kind of trip I despise.

This is them forcing me back into the mindset of a fifteen-year-old who had a traumatic experience and never wanted to enter water ever again. When I was six years old, I learned how to swim. Though I didn't absolutely love it, I learned how to keep my head above the water. When I was fifteen, I almost drowned. I had gone swimming with my best friend, Katy, in her pool, and my hair had got caught on the pool cleaner. I had fought and struggled to get out and in the end, Katy had had to dive in and save me by pulling out a chunk of my hair. I had been terrified and what's worse, at school I got mocked for my weird hair-do.

I never told anyone about it, afraid that the feelings from back then would return to the surface. But those stupid children...

Who thinks about doing such a rotten thing, anyway? Who actually drags a mattress along with a sleeping person out into the water and leaves her there? I had taken a strong fucking emsleeping pill/em. I could have rolled over and drowned. And I'll bet they thought it was very funny when I woke up and started panicking and struggling to find a way back to land without falling off of the mattress but succeeding only in doing exactly that. I want to bet they laughed their evil asses off when I shrieked "Nicky" as I found myself surrounded by a huge mass of water. And I want to bet that they high-fived each-other when they saw the distress on my face as I marched my way up the dry, safe land, straight to their father.

"That is ENOUGH! I have HAD it with those little monsters!"

"What do you mean?"

"HERE'S what I mean, BUDDY: the day we marry is the day I ship those little brats off to Timbuktu, get the picture? It's me or them. Take your pick."

He didn't have to think twice. Such a loving father. Can't see past their angelic little faces. Oh. We could have had a baby together, and we could have named it Dean or Patrick or Lillian or whatever he thought sounded nice and he could have loved it and we could have been happy.

"What?!"

"You heard me. T-h-e-m. Them. Get the picture?"

No. No, you're supposed to pick me. You're supposed to be emmy/em Nicky, emmy/em husband, my everything. You're supposed to love me and take care of me and ask me why I'm so upset in the first place. You're supposed to realize that those little brats have ruined everything and made my traumatic experiences come back to the foreground and you're supposed to make it all better and love me and hold me and – – … you know what? Forget it.

No matter how hard I try, or how beautiful I make myself, no one will ever love me. I tried so hard to create a thick skin for myself, so nothing anyone ever said would hurt me. I suppose you managed to find your way past the barriers I had put up around my heart. And I suppose you found the way to crush it, too.

Good job, girls. Really. I hope you had fun ruining my picture-perfect future. Hope you had fun crushing my hopes and dreams. I honestly hope your parents get back together and realize why they left each other in the first place. Oh, and I hope you meet your shriveled ends when all is said and done, as well. Take it from someone who's been there – your happiness will not last long. Sooner or later, you'll fall in love with someone you thought was wonderful. And what goes around will come around and justice will be served. I'll be waiting. Believe me, I'll be waiting. With a smile on my face and a dry martini in my hand.