A/N: A big thank you to everyone who reviewed! I sent you all a message but I've no way to reach the 'guests' that have reviewed. To the guests thank you for all the support!

This chapter would not have been here like this had it not been for PurpleJelloTIVA206 who is absolutely amazing!

"That's just it, that's how you deal with things. you push them away." Tony said stepping closer to her. "You don't give them a second thought and you pretend you're done with them."

Ziva's strong, angry and confident stance weakened a little as her shoulders slumped. "The thing is, you're not done with them, you didn't work through it and it's weighing you down. So much that you don't even notice you're getting played." Tony said now standing right before her.

Ziva looked up at him, he could see the hurt in her eyes, the betrayal she felt at his apparent lack of trust. Ziva was disappointed in herself when her voice came out shaky, betraying her real emotions. "If you don't trust me to have your back, than why don't you go ask Gibbs or Vance for a new partner."

Her lip quivered and Tony knew that the wrong move on his part would break their relationship, their partnership, their new us, everything. Again he was faced with the reality that he was not good at saying the right thing, he was again left wondering how people could find the right things to say. How could he make sure that he wouldn't lose her?

"I don't want another partner, neither do I want the old one back. Ziva I want to be here for you, all of you. The strong confident mossad officer who drove me mad, the beautiful woman that amazes me everyday and the great and insightful NCIS agent who keeps me on my toes every minute and is the best damn partner anyone, I could ever ask for. I am doing this because I want to be here for you, not just the parts you let people see ,but the whole package. And because you have not worked through this and 'you' don't have to do that alone. You are not alone." Tony said putting his hands on her shoulders and squeezing them lightly for support.

He looked into her eyes, unshed tears filled them completely, changing the usually dark brown color of her eyes to a much lighter shade of brown. "Just let go Ziva, take them out of the boxes you've put them in, think about them. Remember them, grieve them." Tony said and she dropped her head.

"Grieve for the loss you've endured. Grieve for Mrs Vance." Tony whispered and a stubborn tear fell from Ziva.

"Grieve for your father." Another few tears started to fall.

"For your mother." The tears were falling freely now.

"For Ari." There was a slight hiccup in her tears but Tony did not notice as there was one last name he had to call out.

"Grieve for Tali." He whispered and Tony could physically see her break. Her shoulders slumped all the way, before they started to shake because of the sobs. Her knees buckled, her arm fell limp to her side. If she had not been standing against the doors she would have fallen to the ground.

Tony pulles Ziva against him and lets her sob against his shoulder. He pushes the still open door closed before guiding her to the couch. He sits both of them down on the couch, stroking her hair and back while whispering that there will be a time that she'll be all right.

"You're going to be alright. You're going to get through this. You're not alone, You're a good person and things will look up. I promise." Tony whispered in her ear as he pulled her just a little closer, but Ziva pulled away.

Ziva squeezed her eyes together in the hope that her tears would stop faling but it only made it worse. Tony did not understand, he thought he was doing a good thing that she was letting him be there for her, but again like so many times before she pulled away.

"Ziva, hey. What's going on?" Tony asked as she continued to quietly sob with her back towards him. Ziva tried to think of a way to explain this to him. To explain that she was not a good person, and she never had been for as long as she had known him. But revealing this could possibly lead to her losing him his image of her would change, and she couldn't risk that, not now., She was so scared he would leave her alone. That she would truly be alone.

"You don't understand Tony, I'm not a good person." Ziva whispered, her voice cracking under the weight of what she was about to reveal

"That's crazy, of course you're a good person." Tony said putting his hand on her shoulder, to make her turn around so he could see her, but she shrugged of his hand.

"It's not nonsense Tony, it's the truth. It's all my fault. If I had been a better daughter, my father would be alive, Mrs Vance would have been alive and those two wonderful kids would have the mother they deserve. If it hadn't been for me, my mother and Tali would have still been alive. It's all my fault that my family is dead." Ziva said as a new round of sobs that she was not able to stop bubbled to the surface.

"Ziva, you're not at fault for any of their deaths. You didn't plant the roadside bomb that got your sister and mother killed on their way to pick you up. Your father came here because you inspired him to be a better man. His prior actions are what got him killed and Mrs Vance in the crossfire. You are at no way at fault for any of your families deaths." Tony said and instead of some sort of thankful gesture that he expected, a wave of fresh tears overcame Ziva as she moved further away from him. Tony wished he was good at this, wishing he understood what he had said that caused more tears.

"Ziva, please look at me." Tony asked, hoping that if she looked at him, he could silently convey the fact that he was there for her. Ziva however, still refused to look at him, his reaction to what she was about to tell him, would no doubt hurt her beyond repair. Looking at him when she shattered his image of her, she was not sure if she could handle that.

"I killed Ari, not Gibbs." Ziva said softly. This time she felt herself break, something that had weighed her down, the secret that finally became too much for her to bare. She thought when she would finally share it with someone other than Gibbs, she would feel reflief, but she did not. Her sobs stopped as the pain and hurt she felt was too big. It felt like that secret had protected her heart all this time, as long as people did not know that part of her, they might still care for her. Now that she had told someone she felt all that hope leave her body.

Ziva waited as tears silently fell from her eyes, her breathing shallow, as she felt empty and scared. She expected to hear Tony get up and walk to the door to leave, but after what felt like hours she still hadn't heard anything. Her tears had stopped by now and she wondered if she might have missed him leaving, so she looked back over her shoulder. He was sitting there waiting for her to turn around, to look at him. His face was unreadable and did nothing to calm the extremely complicated knot that was still growing in her stomach and around her heart.

Tony looked at her, his heart broke for her by seeing her exhausted expression. She looked drained, empty and utterly defeated. But for the first time tonight Tony knew what the right thing to say was.

"Thank you." He said softly, his face now showed a warmth she had not seen often. His eyes appeared brighter with unshed tears and a depth of trust. Ziva had not expected those words, at all.

"Thank you, for killing the man that murdered my partner, that was about to murder Gibbs. Thank you for saving my family at the cost of yours." Tony said reaching out for her shoulder again to make her turn towards him. She came willingly this time her eyes filling up with tears and started falling again, out of sheer relief.

"Ziva, you might have fired that gun, but Ari was a dead man the moment he murdered Kate. You're not the reason that he's dead. He was the reason he deserved to die. You are also not the reason that your father is dead. Or the reason your mother is dead, or Tali. You are however the reason my family is still alive. So thank you for saving my family."

Ziva looked up at him, not knowing how she deserved a man so loyal as he was. So caring and spirited. Her tears just kept falling, she wasn't sure anymore whether they were tears of sadness or relief. All the emotions she had gone through in the past 30 minutes made it feel like hours had passed. Ziva looked at him, he looked at her no differently than he had during the past week. Maybe if she looked closely she might even say he looked at her with even more affection, but brushed that thought aside. For now.

"Ziva there is no proper way I can thank you for what you did, no way I could ever repay you." Tony said softly.

"Can you forgive me?" Ziva asked the sound barely above a whisper.

"Nothing to forgive. Ziva." Tony said pulling her closer and Ziva shifted so she was half sitting on the couch and half lying against him. Tony didn't mind though. He was just happy she let him be there for her.

"Can you forgive me for keeping it a secret for so long?" She whispered into his shirt.

"Ziva you had every right to keep this a secret and even though I wish I had known about it before, I'm happy you're trusting me with it now. So again there is nothing to forgive." Tony said, lightly stroking her hair while his other hand was securely around her waist.

Ziva looked at him. "Tony?." Her eyes were pleading with him and Tony sighed in resignation and rested his head against hers.

"Yes, Ziva. you're forgiven." He said and Ziva's eyes finally brighted up a little even though tears were still pooling around in her eyes threatening to spill.

She nodded and than hit her face in the crook of his neck. "Good." She said as her tears fell, knowing that if that secret could not have broken their relationship nothing will, most certainly not a few tears.

Tony let her cry, finally figuring out that there were no right words, to get through these horrible, defeating and draining moments in life. You just needed somebody that you trust implicitly to hold you while you work your way through it.

A/N: Please share your thoughts with me and PurpleJelloTIVA206, if you were sad, understanding or happy. If you cried, laughed out loud or screamed at the screen. We want to know it all and I promise we don't judge!