Story: The Aftermath
Fandom: Law and Order: SVU
Author: hippolover1326
Chapter: 14 (Shot)

All characters belong to Dick Wolf.

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"Amanda...Amanda..." Fin's voice faded out as I lost consciousness. Damn, I didn't know being shot would hurt that much...

This week was really hard on the whole squad. Even though my shoulder hurt like hell, I tried to support everyone as much as possible. I heard Fin over the radio, and heard later that after he'd said "shoot me and get it over with" he'd ripped off his Kevlar. I was terrified for him, in addition to the fact that that girl was extremely unstable and Fin could've gotten badly hurt.

Throughout all this, Nick was super supportive and I think we got a lot closer. Plus, the kissing had, well, as Zara would put it, "leveled up."

Zara was great, by the way. She was the sweetest little thing. Anyway, a few days after the shooting, Zara and Gil were both over at Nick's place. My shoulder injury was pretty painful so Nick was helping me ice it (which, by the way, was quite noble considering how the skin looked as it healed over). When I told the kids what happened, Zara looked worried but Gil looked scared.

I took him aside to talk to him about it. Turns out, he wanted to be a cop just like his "uncle" Nick. Could something like this happen to him, he wondered. The kid was almost 10, so I debated what I could tell him. Finally I decided on, "Gil, you know that police officers get hurt sometimes, right?"

"Yeah," he told me.

"But not very often, and I'm going to be just fine, right?"

"Right." Gil agreed.

Later on, I got a chance to talk to Zara. It seemed as though, because of Maria's PTSD, she was missing having a woman around. So Zara and I just chatted about her school, she did my hair, and with my one hand I showed her how to paint her nails. Awhile later on in the night, Zara started crying.

"Zara honey, what's wrong?" I said.

"Are you going to be my new mom?" she asked, a little confused.

Absolutely, I thought, someday. But what I said was, "Zara honey, I'm staying here because my sister stole all my furniture, and now I can't find her. So my new furniture is going to take a long time to arrive in the mail, and that's why you, me, and Daddy are going to all live together."

"Okay." This answer seemed to satisfy her, and after Nick put Zara to bed and Cynthia picked up Gil, Nick and I sat down to talk.

"For real, Amanda, how are you doing?"

"When I came back to the squad after the shooting, Captain told me I'd have to talk to George again. Apparently, because of the shooting, plus he said that the first time I made it seem as though I was totally fine, a sign that I'm not," I explained.

"Do you agree with him?"

"Somewhat, I mean I still get nightmares and flashbacks" - Nick wrapped his arm around me - "I just wanted to think I was fine," I finished.

"Amanda, you don't have to be fine until you're ready."

"I'm not! I mean, Parks is still out there, and..."

"Shh...Amanda, you're okay..." Nick ran his fingers through my hair and stayed there until I fell asleep.