Mail Room

Part One

"Okay, listen up. New guy here, name's Johnny. Show him the ropes and play nice."

The new guy gave a look somewhere between deer in the headlights and hopeful. His jeans looked stiffly new, his sneakers were Wal-mart specials and his black hair had that freshly cut look. He tried a shy 'hi' and a new puppy-like smile. He had first job written all over him, either that or he really needed this job so bad he could taste it—or both. Probably a high school grad, maybe. The kid wasn't what anyone would call a genius, at least it sure seemed he was hitting a pretty basic level. Ah well, everyone needed a paycheck and he could work out, you never knew.

"Ben, you show him the ropes this week, let him follow you around, see how things are done, introduce him around. Okay, gentlemen start your sorting. Johnny? Any questions just ask the guys and you'll be fine." Johnny awkwardly nodded his thanks then follow Ben over to the sorting tables.

"Okay, so we basically sort everything that comes in here. A lot of the stuff has someone's name on it or maybe just a department. If it's a name you find their box in the pigeonholes here and if it's just a department you toss it over here were it says 'Legal', Accounting' and like that." Ben worked as he talked, all the regulars mail room guys did, letters moved fast. Johnny watched for a few minutes then tried a few himself, his hand getting hit for the third time by flying paper when Carlos gave him a semi-patient look.

"Don't worry, kid, just stand back 'til you get the hang of it, 'kay?"

Johnny nodded, standing back half a step. "Hey Ben, what do we do if there isn't anything to tell us who the stuff is for? I mean like this one just says 'Wayne Enterprises'."

"Over there. They go to some secretaries who just open that stuff—mostly it's people either wanting money from Big Bruce or maybe wanting a job."

And so the day went, the new guy slowly giving sorting a try then following Ben around as he made his deliveries floor by floor, wheeling a cart as he went. The new kid didn't say much, just walked behind the cart, made himself sort of invisible and kept his head down. Ben started to wonder if he was shy, uncomfortable or just stupid; it wasn't like delivering mail was rocket science, right? Whatever.

"So, Johnny, what made you apply here? You always want to sort mail?"

"Um, I. I mean...uh, I guess it's a job, y'know?"

Ben nodded, yes, it was a job.

"I think it's a good idea, Bruce, let the boy learn how things work from the ground up. Let him know that it's not all polished tables and assistants doing your bidding around here."

"Yes, well, I think it will do him some good but, I don't know. I mean he started out in a blue collar family, I've heard they were a very nice blue collar family and all but I guess I'd hoped that he could leave all that behind instead of, well, he seems to be embracing this mail room thing." Lucius turned to get back to his own office. "And hey, make sure that no one knows who Dick is, okay? The whole point of his doing this 'undercover learning from the ground up' thing won't work if people realize he's him."

"Of course, makes sense."

"If you see him walking around, pretend like you don't know him, okay?"

"'Not a word from me and I doubt if any of the folks down in the mail room know what Dick looks like. And his just being in a completely unexpected job like that should be enough to hide him from anyone else around here." Or so he hoped, anyway, though he was angry that Dick wasn't even in any kind or real disguise other than Wal-mart work clothes and a bad haircut. So long as Lucius was semi-in on this then there was less chance of Dick's cover, such as it was, being blown.

"Bruce? You were right. I've found at least seven packages coming through here that were pharmaceutical grade cocaine, maybe more."

"Who were they addressed to?"

"That's the thing; different people and in some cases, no one, just general delivery stuff."

"Which implies that the name on the package may not really matter, that it's just having the stuff inside the building so someone or someones can make a pickup."

"Are the mail room people intercepting them?"

"No, didn't even seem to notice what they were delivering. I think they may be clean, or at least the ones I worked with seemed so, anyway."

"Maybe, but keep an eye on them."

Dick nodded. "So the question becomes which someones. I'm on it." As usual, they were on the same page. "By the way, aren't I due for a promotion? If I'm just down in the mail room to see how the place works I should be at least a junior exec by now, don't you think?"

Bruce failed to see the humor. "No one is supposed to know who you are, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah. Lighten up, Okay? I was just kidding."

The rest of the week Dick did as he was told, kept his mouth largely shut and stayed on the down-low. There were a couple of close calls when he was asked to deliver the mail to the top floors but, "Forget it kid; if anyone is going to get noticed by Old Bruce, it's gonna be me. Hows about you get yourself some coffee or something for a while. Take a walk."

Meanwhile he was doing everything he reasonably could to break the cocaine case. Who was sending? Who was it ending up with? Who was getting the money? And why would anyone think that corporate offices of Wayne Enterprises would make a safe drop site?

"Okay, you have over three thousand employees in the building on any given work day but in this case I really don't think that the drugs are coming here because of the idea that there may be safety in numbers."

"So why are they coming here if someone in the building isn't dealing?"

"I didn't say there isn't someone with their hands in here, I'm just saying it seems like a stupid drop site, that's all."

"Stupid maybe, but it seems to be working for someone."

"And there in lies the rub..."

"So Johnny, you wanna catch a beer?"

"Um, I, I dunno. I guess maybe. Sure."

"Wassa matter, kid? You never have a brew?"

"It's just that, I mean, it's just that my mom doesn't like it if I drink, y'know?"

"One beer? That ain't drinking, kid; that's just wetting your whistle. C'mon."

"Hey, Ben leave'm alone, will you? Not everyone likes to get wasted after work." He'd decided that Johnny was borderline retarded and was likely a charity hire. The kid was pretty dim most of the time...except for times when he'd lose the blank look and you'd swear absolutely nothing was getting past him and that he had a mental computer behind his eyes. It made him curious.

Maybe he was like Rainman. Idiot savant, wasn't that what they called people like that? Y'know, the ones who can't count past three but can compose symphonies. Weird.

"I just thought it might be nice to get to know the new kid, y'mind?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. 'Lesgo."

Twenty minutes later they were sitting at a table with glasses and a pitcher of draft in the middle, already largely empty.

"So, Johnny, tell us about Johnny."

"Huh?"

The other men exchanged glances. The kid had to be a charity case or something. "How'd you end up in old Bruce's mail room?"

"I needed a job? My dad said I had to make money and so I'm doing what he said."

Ben smiled. The kid may be dumb but he wasn't a bad sort. "We all needed jobs. I meant how did you end up in this job? I'm sure there a re other things you could do."

Johnny looked surprised at that. "Like what?" His question was met with a shrug. "Oh, okay. I was working at the deli—you know Vinnie's Deli?—I was making sandwiches there but I kept getting confused about the orders so Vinnie said that maybe I should look for something more up my alley. That's what he said, 'something more up my alley'. It's okay, I like the mail room and I get to talk to a lot of people and stuff, get to walk around."

"But how did you end up at Wayne? You could sort mail anywhere."

"I could?" He looked like that had never occurred to him. "Um, I've been to the subway stop on the corner and so I figured I knew how to get here."

"Being able to find where you work is a good start. You like your job?"

"Um, yeah. I mean everyone's really nice most of the time and one of the secretaries smiled at me yesterday." There was some suggestive laughter from the guys at the table at that.

"You liked that?"

"Yeah, I like not having to stay in the same room all day." He sipped his beer, the insinuation going past him. "Hey, any of you guys ever see Mr. Wayne? Man, wouldn't that be something, seeing old Bruce sitting there all rich and stuff?"

"Yeah, well we don't really travel in the same circles, if you know what I mean."

"Huh?"

"...Never mind."

A silence descended as they finished their drinks with Ben refilling the glasses.

"Um, hey, I was wondering something; you know those packages that came in yesterday? The ones in the brown paper? I don't get it. If they were like supplies, paper or pens or something, how come they didn't just go to the purchasing department? I was thinking and I don't get it."

The men exchanged glances. "Lookit, Johnny—some free advice; deliver the mail and don't ask questions and you'll get along just fine, okay?"

"But..."

"Don't go butting your nose in where it doesn't belong and you'll be okay."

"Yeah, but there were like fifty of them and they..."

"Ah shit, lookit the time. I gotta get going or Madge will have my head. See 'ya tomorrow, boys."

Dick made his way down the stairs into the cave, Bruce was sitting at the computer console. "Fifty kilos of pharmaceutical grade coke came into the mail room this morning, individually wrapped in one kilo packages, addressed to about ten different mid-management/junior execs on the twelve through the fifteenth floors."

"'They working together for some extra money?"

"'Working on it but maybe. It seems stupid that they'd all agree to receive drugs at work like that."

"Doesn't it just. Which ones?"

Dick spent about thirty seconds on the computer accessing the list. "'Mean anything to you?"

"They're all relatively recent hires but aside from that, they don't have any connections to one another and they all came with good references which were checked out."

"Someone in HR?"

"Maybe. Work on that."

Dick nodded. "I also found out that these shipments, in various sizes and to various combinations to this list—five one week, seven the next—have been going on for at least six months. I'm willing to assume that at least some of the mail guys are also getting a cut of the take."

"I'd assume, yes. See what you can learn."

"I tried to feel them out but they stonewalled me and seemed nervous, either that or they're afraid of losing their jobs or of some kind or repercussions from the dealers if they say anything. I'll keep on it but they're pretty sure that I'm a harmless idiot, that should offer some protection."

Bruce nodded, yes, it should. "Let's hope."

Bruce considered getting Wayne Security on the case, have them keep an eye on the various executives and the mail room as well as receiving but thought better of it. Better to let things ride for now, have Dick find out what he can and go over the security tapes himself instead of getting others involved before they knew how far this thing had become ingrained into the company. It was a simple thing to have the tapes transferred to his own computer without anyone being the wiser.

Better to keep the lid on this while they could. With the public perception of big business being a shill for Satan, the PR nightmare was something he'd rather skip until they had all the facts.

"But sir, I must say that I'm concerned that someone at Wayne Corp will recognize Master Richard, it could be dangerous for you both should that occur."

Far be it for Alfred to hide his feelings when it came to either one of his charges. Bruce paused a moment, in truth he was worried about that as well but, "He's not in any areas where he'll be likely to see anyone who might recognize him and he can take care of himself." Usually.

"But surely these people read the company newsletter, see his picture in the papers and such. Heavens, the young master was featured in last month's People magazine yet again; he's not as anonymous as we might hope."

Yes, but it couldn't be helped. Dick could deal with it. He had before and he would again. "If there's a reason to think he's been compromised I'll pull him. Don't worry."

"I'm afraid that it's too late for that, sir."

TBC