Looking away from you was all that I did
You were just a kid

But, I never really looked at you
Even as you grew

Memories made me live and pretend you weren't here
But, that never did stop your sad tears
The way they would run down your young face
So far away from my embrace

Things started going wrong, didn't they?
That didn't stop your affectionate display
You became closer to me
Made me want to be
That better person
Not make my personality worsen
I decided I would be your parent
The love you give me has given my heart an indent…

The beach was that place
I finally saw your face
I knew what you wanted
It didn't matter anymore that you were adopted

The sunset was shining brightly upon you
This beautiful view
But, I wasn't ready
I was unsteady
Handing you to your father
I finally learnt how to be a mother

Letting you go was so hard for me
I was ready to fall to my knees

Turning away
I was so afraid
What had I done?
I had my fun
I had you
The closeness between us was overdue

My daughter,
Is my mind underwater?
Loving you so much, my heart is somehow breathing
Am I am not seeing
I need for you to be with your father for your wellbeing

"Mummy!" Your voice screams
Is everything as it seems
Am I hearing your voice?
I made a choice…

I can't change it now
I wish I could somehow

"Mummy!" I turn to you trying to escape out of your fathers arms
My shaking palms
Don't hide
The pain you feel inside

Shock is written all over my face
How can I be your saving grace?

You're so sick
I wish this was a trick
Or some joke
But, its not one I'm going to poke
My head through
I'm not done with you

I need to make you feel better, my baby
I need your pain to go away, am I crazy?

Those tears running down your face, as I see you as I am ready to runaway
So many feelings I never got a chance to convey
I need him to hold you back
Letting you go is something I lack

I'm not glad you feel this way
But, I can't stay
I'm making you hurt and I know at least you love me
But, this isn't the way it's supposed to be

You're breaking my heart
Unfortunately this was my own doing of decision-making from the start

I don't know if I can let go
I must let go though
You will have a home
One you can roam

"Mummy!" She's my baby
I'm acting like a crybaby
I don't ride that motorbike anymore
Because I know you need to be safe, I hear your roar

"Mummy!" I keep hearing it in my head
I thought only I was supposed be crying instead

You fall out of his arms and onto the sand
Will you hold onto his hand?
I don't want to make this more painful than already is, my girl
This all feels like a whirl

You get up and try to reach out
There is no doubt
I can't hide this any longer
I wish I was stronger
I reach my arms for you
You grab on to me too

I'm not letting you go
You still have much to know
Losing and forgetting everything
I want to give you anything

Your memory
All of it is such a mystery

But, I will be the until to very end
I have to spend
Every last waking moment with you
All this wasted time with not spending time with you is overdue

The wind blows softly against us
There is no fuss

But what I didn't know was would be there soon
In the sky, next to the sun and moon
With the wind blowing against your blonde hair
Like a bird, in the air