"Thank-you, Callie," Arizona said softly as her eyes traced over the features of her wife. Callie tossed her a playful eyebrow coupled with a smirk, before replying with "Hey, right now I'm Dr. Torres."
Again Arizona smiled, a genuine smile that touched her eyes and left no indication of being forced or otherwise put on. This moment felt good to her. It had been a long time since she and Callie had been able to achieve their current level of comfort with one another, and Arizona realized in an instant how much she had missed that feeling of peace.
"I-I was afraid," she whispered softly, her eyes leaving Callie's face and focusing on the ceiling above. Callie lifted her gaze from her ministrations on Arizona's leg and focused on her wife's suddenly clouded expression. "Afraid of what?" she asked.
Arizona sighed and the sound of it was unnaturally loud in the small x-ray room. "I was afraid you would be repulsed...by me...by my...leg." Her tone was laced with trepidation and self-revulsion. She still refused to look at Callie as she said the words that had weighed so heavily on her heart the last several months.
"Hey," Callie said ducking her head in an attempt to meet Arizona's eyes, "listen to me. You are so beautiful. Do you hear me? You have no idea how sexy I think you are; how sexy I still find you." Arizona swallowed the lump of emotion Callie's words made her feel and shook her head, her eyes still looking aimlessly around the x-ray room.
"That little show from earlier," Callie continued, unperturbed by Arizona's behavior, "with the t-shirt and the underwear? God, Arizona, I wanted so badly to take you back into our room and show you how much I love you. You are hot and beautiful and wonderful. You need to know that, okay? Your leg does not repulse me."
"Callie," Arizona started to protest as she shook her head. She did not feel sexy or beautiful anymore, not since her leg had been amputated. She was a different person now, a person who could no longer take the stairs with ease, or get around quickly without help. How could Callie still find her so attractive when she felt as if she were nothing but a burden?
"No, don't argue with me, Arizona. I'm a doctor and I know these things. I am so unbelievably proud of you. Do you know that? Not just for what you've overcome, but for who you are. I look at you and I am so proud to call you my wife, to be your wife. Your leg does not repulse, but you want to know what did repulse me?" Callie asked. Arizona finally looked up to meet the soft brown eyes holding her face in their gaze. "What?" she asked in a small voice.
Callie held Arizona's eyes for a long moment while her fingers continued to massage her sore leg. Finally, and in a small tone of her own, she replied "What repulsed me was not knowing where you were for four days. What repulsed me was wondering if you were in pain or, worse, dead. I was so scared without you here, Arizona. I couldn't get my mind to think about the future without you. What repulsed me was contemplating my life without you in it."
Tears sprang to life in Callie's eyes before she could stop them. She had not spoken of her fears those four long days in any depth since Arizona's return. There had not been time for them with everything else they both, especially Arizona, had been going through.
Arizona watched tears slip down her wife's cheek and something inside, something that had been repressed for months, finally broke. She realized Callie still needed her. She was not a burden, nor was she an act of pity or obligation. Callie needed her and that felt...good. Reaching forward with her hands, she gently cupped her wife's face and rubbed her thumbs across her cheeks.
Callie sat up on her knees and placed her hands on Arizona's thighs. There were no words spoken as they closed the gap between them and allowed their lips to meet in a soft kiss. It began slowly and tentatively. Arizona's hands moved to grasp strands of Callie's hair as both women sighed into the other.
Callie was the first to pull away, her face remaining close to Arizona's. "I've missed you so much," she whispered before kissing her wife one more time. Arizona responded in kind, her tongue softly grazing Callie's for a moment, before pulling away herself. "I've missed you, too, Calliope."
Sitting back on her heels, Callie smiled at Arizona and released a heavy and very cleansing breath. Arizona watched her, eyes shining with both love and admiration. "Okay, well, as much as I would love to see you walk around the hospital in only your lab coat and underwear," Callie started, "I'm not to keen on everyone else appreciating your fabulous ass."
Arizona laughed, dimples touching her cheeks, and watched as Callie stood and moved to retrieve her pants. She quickly reattached her leg and allowed Callie to assist her in putting her pants back on. Once back on her feet, she wiped away at the remnants of Callie's tears as the two of them remained close.
There was something different between them now. Arizona could feel it, though she could not name it. Callie smiled shyly at her and held her by the hips. They both enjoyed a quiet moment together. "I love you," Callie said, being the first to break the silence. Arizona cocked her head to the side, her eyes tracing over her wife's nose and cheeks in appreciation. "I love you," she replied earnestly.
"Ive got to go," Callie said. "I need to do something actually worthy of getting a paycheck instead of wondering around the hospital all bored." Again, Arizona laughed and nodded her head. She stepped away from Callie and watched her walk to the door. "Thank-you again, Callie."
"Anytime," Callie responded with a smile before opening the door and making her exit. Once alone again, Arizona shook her head in disbelief and smiled to herself. In all of her grief and sadness, she had allowed herself to forget how amazing her wife was. Granted, she had been entitled to her bad feelings, but she thanked whatever powers there were for blessing her with someone as wonderful as Calliope Torres to be her partner.
As she stood in silent reflection in the x-ray room, Arizona felt at peace for the first time in a long time. She felt happy. She and Callie had reached a new understanding, and with that thought she knew that tonight was definitely the "sexy night."
