Title: Xenophilia: Chapter 3
Author: AotA
Rating: T
Warning: crack, sexual themes
Characters: Daniel Jackson
Setting: Stargate: SG-1, Transformers: Any
Summary: SG-1 finally meets a race that has big honking space guns and is willing to share them. The only problem? As a race they are all impossibly sluttish and don't consider species as a line to be crossed. As far as they are concerned, there is no line.
Notes: What is the Cybertronian angle? Any one that'll get them in your pants.

"They have to have some kind of ulterior motive! No one just gives away weapons tech like that!"

"Of course they have an ulterior motive," Daniel said mildly.

"And what would that be?"

"'That' would be addicting us to sexual favors. They like us. They want to have lots and lots of cross-species sex with us," Daniel said with a completely straight face, "It is how they relate to one another, and they want to share it with us. As for the weapons, well, if you were facing that much firepower, wouldn't you want to take the more pleasurable option and settle things with a more civilized horizontal tango rather than being wiped off the map?"

The xenoanthropological explanation was met with sputters and red faces all around.