As hard as it was to leave Brian and move to New York, it turned out to be the right thing for my art career. I made contacts and managed to sell a few things at some off the beaten path galleries. I'd made many friends in the art/coffee house circle. I was quickly coming to the conclusion that my new city was where I belonged, even though the man who held my heart was back in Pittsburgh.

Brian and I had maintained our long distance relationship for a year after I moved to New York. But, we were certainly feeling the strain of the frequent flights between Pittsburgh and New York.

Then in January of 2007, I got a phone call from an art dealer in Europe who wanted me to tour there for three months, February through April. It was an excellent opportunity that I would have a hard time passing up. I told Brian about the call right before he was due to fly in for another visit. He was very excited for me and told me how proud he was. I could detect some sadness in his voice, but his drive was always for me to be 'the best homosexual' I could be.

A few days after that call, we were at my little apartment in Chelsea. We'd had another romp in the sack. I remember that particular round was all about him going over every inch of me with his hands and tongue, like he wanted to memorize all of me. Brian was smoking a cigarette as we lay there, watching the winter snows hit the window of my room. The conversation went something like this…

~(Begin flashback)~

Brian asked, "So, are you going to do the European tour?"

I said, "I want to, but …"

"How long would it be for?"

"About three months. But, I don't want to be away from you that long."

"I have news for you, Sunshine; you're already away from me. Don't hold back for me. We've had this conversation before, remember?"

"What can we do then?"

"We – doesn't matter. YOU – need to go to Europe, tour, be a big fat fucking success. Maybe …."

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe we should just take this time away from each other completely apart."

"What do you mean?"

"No calls. No letters."

"I don't know if I can do that. Why would you want to do that? All of this talk about how much you miss me when we're apart. Hardly a day goes by where we don't talk or text or e-mail each other."

"It might be best for both of us. You can dive into your art and concentrate on your tour. I can dive into work, too. You know I've been looking at expanding Kinnetik, increase my staff and all that. Flying across the pond is a bit different than New York to the Pitts. It will easier for us both to concentrate on our careers. Then when you get back we meet in, say, Central Park."

I couldn't help thinking about not being in contact with Brian. "How will I know … I mean … How will I know you're still alive and OK?" I was a bit of a drama princess

Brian seemed to know that and rolled his eyes, but then responded with a suggestion, "Text me every Saturday and I'll text back. Simple."

"You make it sound like it'll be easy to do. I fucking hate it when we're apart. I don't know if I can go that long."

"You can't fuck the hot guys in France, Germany, and Spain? We don't have an exclusive relationship, ya know?" He took another drag from his cigarette. "We just went back to 'the rules': nobody more than once, no names or numbers, no kissing."

I thought about the exotic liaisons that I could have with European men, but that's certainly not what I was originally thinking. "When I said I couldn't go that long, I didn't mean without sex, but that I couldn't go that long without seeing you … being with you. I love you."

"I love you, too, but this way you can focus on your work."

~(End flashback)~

I finally agreed to his proposed plan. I took off for Europe and had successful showings at a lot of galleries. And, indeed, I fucked hot guys in every major city and a few minor ones.

I remember how difficult it was, those three months away from Brian. We didn't speak … didn't see each other … nothing. It was difficult and seemed like an eternity. But, it was all part of our arrangement.

Brian and I texted once a week. The texts were short and sweet. A typical exchange;

. IN PARIS TODAY – MISS YOU. C U IN AVRIL. XO J

. IN THE PITTS – IT AIN'T PAREE. XO B

And then there was;

. WEEKEND WIESBADEN. BIG ARMY BASE HERE. LOTS / REPRESSED USA GI'S LOOKING 4 A "DON'T TELL" EXPERIENCE. DAS IS GUT! XO J

. ME 2. JUST DID A SAILOR. I WON'T TELL. XO B

~ ~ BJ ~ ~

Sometimes he'd be the one to initiate, which pleased me to no end.

. I'M NAKED & PULLING ON MY 9" THINKING OF U.

. MY COCK IS HARD & DRIPPING 4 U. LICK ME.

. FUCK, THAT'S HOT.

That time, the phone actually rang.

"Brian?"

All I heard was him breathing heavy. Even without caller I.D., I would've known it was him.

I said, "I'm so fucking hot for you right now, Brian. Fill me. Come inside me."

After some more moaning and heavy breathing, I could hear him reaching orgasm. I came, too. After a minute to regain our breath, more or less, I just heard him say. "Loved that. Love you. G'nite."

"Love you, too. G'nite." His words and that voice floated in my head for days afterwards.

~ ~ BJ ~ ~

The most poignant exchange was near the end of my tour. I began;

. I'LL SEE U ON EASTER. I ACHE 4 U. XO J

. I MISS U 2. NO 1 ELSE AS GOOD AS U. I HAVE A SURPRISE 4 U. XO B

He was right about limited contact, though. Damn, sometimes I hate it when he's right. With the time away and not worrying about our next get together, I was able to focus on my art. I know some romantics would want me to say that without him that my creativity suffered. The suffering artist would say that my creativity flourished because of the misery and loneliness of being separated from my lover. But, that wasn't the case. I had a flash drive with over a thousand Brian, Brian/Gus, and other photos. They kept me going. The paintings were well received everywhere and I sold a few pieces in France, Italy and Germany.

I returned to New York. My agent picked me up from the airport and took me to a gallery showing a number of my pieces. I would have preferred Brian picking me up, but I was coming back from my tour and had to finish at the gallery that started it all, according to my agent. My tour had created some buzz and I had a successful gallery opening. Something about being an artist returning from Europe made me more attractive to the art buying public. I sold one piece for $10,000! I never would have believed it when I first got to New York from Pittsburgh. I phoned Brian's cell with news that I'd returned and we firmed up our plans for meeting up in Central Park.

~ ~ BJ ~ ~

A couple of days later, it was finally the day for our reunion, Easter Sunday, April 8, 2007. After a morning obsessing over what to wear, I finally settled on a grey and white striped top with my favorite jeans. I had a messenger bag with some photos and sketches in it. I was sitting by my favorite fountain in Central Park. It was a beautiful spring day. The flowers were blooming and the birds were singing. Lovers were walking around holding hands. I was aching to see Brian again.

Then I saw him. He was wearing a long sleeved denim shirt with the cuffs turned back. He had dark jeans on and brown loafers. His hair tousled in the breeze. As he approached, he took off his sunglasses and I saw his beautiful hazel eyes. He smiled and put his hands out to his sides in a subtle signal to approach him.

I ran to him and put my arms around him. His arms enveloped me and his sweet masculine scent filled my nostrils. "Brian! God, I missed you."

As he pulled back to look at me his eyes sparkled with joy. "Fancy meeting you here, Sunshine." His look changed from happiness to an aching need. We kissed, softly and tenderly at first, and then the kiss deepened to a more passionate level. The fire was back and I thought that my heart was going to explode from my chest. I could feel his heart beating in time with mine in a frantic rhythm.

I asked, "How have you been? You look great. How long are you in New York? Did you miss me?"

"Take a breath, Sunshine. One thing at a time. How was Europe?"

As we walked, holding hands, I filled him in on my tour; the galleries, the scenery, the men. I was glad when he didn't flinch at the stories of other guys. In fact, he smiled and asked typical Brian questions like "Was he any good?" "How big was his dick?"

Central Park was so beautiful and romantic. The budding trees and crocuses poking their heads out of the ground were all of the signs of new beginnings and new possibilities.

We stopped by Bethesda fountain, surrounded with other couples holding hands. As I looked at the water, I pondered what was next for us. "You mentioned that you have a surprise?"

"Yes, I do."

"So, what is it?"

"I've decided to open a branch of Kinnetik here in New York."

"Brian! That's amazing. That means that we can see each other more often?"

"That's the plan, Sunshine."

After kissing him breathless, we talked further as we stopped at a café for a beer and a quick lunch. We chatted some more and then he told me that, with opening a branch of Kinnetik, he had to sell Britin. We both were sad for a moment, but I assured him that although we discussed the 'country manor of my dreams' months before, it was probably never going to get used once I'd established myself in New York. And now with Brian here, in New York, now was the time for new beginnings, not old dreams.

Then we walked by a sidewalk vendor selling the most beautiful flowers. I picked out a bouquet of tulips that just called to me. As I reached for my wallet, though, Brian stopped me.

"I'll get this." He turned to the vendor. "How much?"

The exchange was made and Brian handed the bouquet to me. "For you."

It was the first time he'd ever bought me flowers. I was overcome and stood there dumbfounded. "Th .. thank you, Brian. They're beautiful."

He pulled me into a tall hedge that protected us from view on three sides. He grabbed me and kissed me. I put my hand behind his head and pulled him close, my other hand holding the bouquet. He angled his mouth to cover mine completely and his tongue swept my mouth.

As we took a breath, I said, "I'd suck you off right here if I thought I could get away with it." I took the hand that was behind his head and moved it to brush it up and down in front of his pants. "Shall we go back to my place?"

He looked at me with a hunger in his eyes. They had a feral, green hue as the gold flecks flashed with desire. "I have someplace better. Recently acquired. C'mon."

Before I knew it, we were in a taxi and Brian asked the driver to go to an address on Madison Avenue.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

"I haven't even asked you about yourself. How's Kinnetik? And Gus? When did you see him last?"

"Very recently, in fact. It'll all be clearer when you see where we're going." As we approached the address, he made me close my eyes. We exited the taxi. I could hear him pay the driver, and we walked to the back of the building and entered an elevator.

"You're going to fuck me in an elevator? Wouldn't be the first time." I chuckled.

"Not this time, Sunshine… ah ah ah, no peeking." The door opened. "This way."

He led me just outside the doors as I heard them close behind us.

"Ok, open your eyes Justin."

I looked around and saw a beautiful modern living space. It wasn't a hotel, so I assumed that it was a place that he'd rented while visiting New York. I didn't care, once I saw the king-sized master bed all I could think of was re-establishing contact with the man that I'd missed so terribly.

We kissed as I unbuttoned his shirt. He pulled my shirt off over my head and it was discarded to the floor. Soon my hands ran over his shoulders to remove his shirt. He then started to unfasten my pants. I pulled away from the kiss to sit on the bed and remove the rest of my clothing. He unzipped his jeans and his magnificent cock sprang to attention. I couldn't resist it and took him into my mouth as my hands slid his pants off of him. After sucking his beautiful dick with a desperation that even surprised me, he pulled me off with a grunt of disappointment.

He pushed me back on the bed and undressed faster than I've ever seen. I slid up the bed and waited for him, not that I had to wait long. He dove on top of me and we kissed while touching each other and exploring each other's bodies again. Our achingly hard cocks rutting against each other almost painfully, but it was so fucking good to feel him completely naked against me again.

He kissed me all over as his lips went from my nipples to my navel on their way to my stiff cock. He teased me with the tip of his tongue.

"Brian! Please..."

"Please what Justin?" His hand slid ever so slowly up and down my shaft.

"Lick me. Suck me. Fuck me. Make me come." I was desperate.

"Hmm. I'll have to think about that." He gave a sly grin. "OK." He gave me one last lick and then went down on me, taking me all in at once. I gasped and threw my head back. His head bobbed up and down on my cock. He'd stop every now and then to stroke me with his hand as the tip of his tongue would tease at my slit. My hands went through his auburn locks as he continued to bring me to the brink and then slow again.

I protested. "Fuck! You're killing me."

"Tell me what you want."

"Either make me come like this or fuck me until I come. I'm so close."

He reached for a condom and put it on in a flash. He lubed my ass with his fingers. His sheathed dick ready and throbbing near my entrance.

"Tell me again," he said as his fingers continued to torture me, so fucking good, yet not good enough. He loved to torture me, loved to hear me beg.

"Fuck me." I pleaded, my voice breathless.

"You want me now?" His finger barely touching my prostate and then I was empty.

"Right the fuck now."

His tip breached my entrance and he stopped.

"Pleeeeease." He wanted me to beg, he got it.

With a primal grunt he pushed himself inside me with one steady move. I yelled. "Aaaah, yes, that's … oh, yeah."

Soon he was pumping in and out of me. My legs wrapped around his back and my hands held his arms. He needed me as much as I needed him. The look in his eyes went from the playfulness of a few minutes ago to one of intense desire. He was soon grunting and slamming into me with an intense rhythm.

Finally, I reached to touch my cock for a few seconds. That last touch was all I needed as I yelled out my sweet release. He soon followed me over the edge, yelling, "Justin! … So fucking good."

~ BJ ~

After we recovered for a while and shared a post-sex shower, Brian said, "I still haven't told you the whole story about opening a Kinnetik office in New York."

"Yeah, where's that going to be? Near Chelsea, I hope. Then you can crash with me when you're in town."

"At that dime sized place of yours? I don't think so. C'mon, let's get dressed. I'll show you the office."

We put our clothes back on and walked to the elevator. We exited to the back of the building and then walked around the front. As we got close to the sidewalk out front, he held his hand over my eyes. He said, "OK. Getting close. Now for the reveal. Open your eyes."

A five story building was in front of me with a sign prominent over the door

~ Kinnetik – New York ~

I was happy to see such a nice looking building with "Kinnetik – New York" over the door. For the last year or so, I'd dreamed that he'd be able to have an NYC location. "Oh, my God, Brian. Is this your office?"

"The New York office, yes. Come inside, I'll give you the complete tour."

I walked inside and marveled at the sleek Kinnetik building. He narrated as he led my guided tour. He explained that he'd purchased the building one month into my Europe trip. He was moving most of the business to New York and left Ted in charge at the 'satellite' office in Pittsburgh.

We looked at the lower level offices and a couple of work rooms before we got to a big elevator at the back of the building. We took it to the second floor to a large conference area which led to Brian's office. As he opened the door, I drew a breath.

"My painting! You bought my painting! How….?" My ten thousand dollar painting was hanging above his desk.

"Just because we haven't had contact doesn't mean I don't know what's been happening with you. I found out about your gallery showing after you got back to New York."

"I didn't see you at the gallery."

"After hours … I got together with the assistant gallery owner, Maurice."

"Oh yeah, I know him. He's hot."

"Oh, yeah."

I chuckled, "You fucked him didn't you?"

"Hey, you weren't the only one seeking extracurricular activities." He gave a self-satisfied grin.

"OK. So you did Maurice and got access to the gallery, then you bought the painting?"

"Yeah, I really liked it. Your more recent work is so much more powerful … better than your earlier works. In this piece I like the way the reds and blues hit each other like waves crashing into each other. I wanted it for my new office."

"You didn't have to."

"I bought it because I wanted to. It was not charity or anything like that, you understand."

"I get it." I looked at him as he looked at the painting and talked about it.

He was still the man who held my heart. Knowing how much he appreciated and enjoyed my painting made me so happy.

After we fully explored the Kinnetik offices, and after checking the time a half a dozen times, he directed me back to the elevator. We could have taken the stairs throughout the building, but I think he enjoyed the confines of the elevator for a kiss and a grab at each opportunity. We returned to the third floor. As the doors opened, I recognized it as the place where we'd made love just minutes before. I wasn't sure if it was rented, or possibly Cynthia's living space. One hundred possibilities went through my head.

I admired the living room, looked around and then asked, "Who lives here?"

He pulled me toward the center of the room. "We do."

I was amazed. He'd done it again. He'd fucking done it again. Bought a place without my seeing it assuming that I'd drop everything to live with him and make some kind of domestic arrangement.

I gave him an incredulous look. "You're fucking unbelievable." I wasn't sure how I felt about what he'd done. I knew I was in love with him and wanted to be with him, but this assumption of life together was bugging me. He gave me a hopeful look; his puppy dog eyes more of a brown hue.

As I stood there agape, I heard voices in the next room. A female voice said, "Who's here? Let's go see."

A seven year old bundle of energy buzzed out of the kitchen and ran up to me. "Justin!" Gus greeted me with a hug.

"Gus! Buddy!" I hugged him and then held him at arm's length. "Let me get a look at you. You're SO big!"

"You've been away, like, forever, Justin." He hugged me again and then turned to his dad. "Can we do the Easter egg hunt now like you said, Daddy?"

Brian was smiling at us. For a second he showed the tender emotions inside, but then he collected himself. "In a minute, Gus. Let Justin look around first, okay?"

Lindsay walked in and came up to me for a hug. "Justin, sweetie. You look great."

It was so good to see her. "Lindsay. Gosh, how have you been?"

She gave a qualified answer. "I'm … OK." Her face brightened. "You'll have to tell me all about Europe."

"Sure." I was a little unsure as to why she was at Brian's place. "Are you here for a visit?"

"Yes. Just for a couple more days."

Gus was growing impatient. "Can Justin help me look for eggs now?"

Lindsay tilted her head to silently ask Brian to relent. Brian sighed and said, "I suppose we could combine the tour with the hunt."

"Yay! I'll get my basket." Gus ran into the kitchen.

My attention turned toward Lindsay. I picked up that something was wrong. "What's really going on, Linds?"

She spoke quickly while Gus was out of the room. "Mel and I are having a little trouble again. It's tough with two kids and her law job. I mean we're OK, but we have to work some stuff out."

"OK. So, you're taking some time away for a few days?"

"There's a room here for Gus, so we've been picking out furniture and setting it up."

Brian nodded and looked at me. "Gus is going to be staying with me this summer."

I was surprised. Brian always liked spending time with Gus, but also happy to hand him back at the end of the evening/weekend. I was shocked that he would take the kid as a full time dad, even if it was just for the summer. I didn't know how to react. The picture started to become clearer. Brian was getting me back and taking in his son, all within a couple of months. I was at a loss for words, so I feebly said, "That'll be great for him to have a summer here with you, Brian."

Gus entered the room, waving a pink and blue basket. "Let's go!" He pulled me into the kitchen. "There's a dozen for me and a special gold egg just for you, Justin." I glanced at Brian, who just shrugged back at me. He was up to something.

I responded to Gus. "Well, then, you'll have to help me find it, Gus." The next half an hour was spent searching for plastic eggs filled with treats. Brian would help Gus by lifting him to reach ones visible on tall shelves. He'd give the kid little hints along the way. It quickly became evident that Brian was the one that had hidden the eggs. I wasn't sure who was having more fun, Gus or Brian.

Along the way I saw the kitchen and living room with a balcony. I saw more of the master bedroom and bathroom. Upstairs there were two more bedrooms and another bath. One was decked out in little boy regalia; bunk beds for Gus and the occasional Jenny Rebecca, train table and a small desk. The second room was Brian's office with a day bed/trundle bed that could accommodate two people. That was where Lindsay was set up for the next couple of days.

Many eggs were found and some candy was consumed by Gus, but his parents put a hold on how much could be consumed. I loved watching him and picking up all of the ways that he reminded me of his father.

At one point, Brian pulled me aside. "I know we have to talk. When the last egg is found they're going to the park for a while."

I nodded and gave a faint smile. I was still sorting out what I was feeling. Did I want to jump right into this domestic scene with Brian and Gus? Could I do that with the 'open relationship' that we'd had since we broke off the engagement? Was that a basis for a family? Albeit an unusual family, but a family nonetheless.

My gold egg was found on a shelf in the master bedroom. It was placed on the shelf in such a way that it looked like part of the collection of frames and items gathered there. I hadn't noticed it, but, then again, I was rather preoccupied with other activities when I'd been in there before.

"Yay! Justin found his egg. Open it, open it!"

I took a look at Lindsay and Brian. Linds had a hopeful grin on her face, as did Brian. I opened the plastic egg and a key on a chain was produced.

"It's a key to the building." Brian said.

He was really pushing for me to move in and the key was part of it. I realized the symbolism of the move – allowing me to have a key to his domain. Even if I didn't take him up on his cohabitation offer, the key to have access was there. I was happy to accept the offer of the key. I smiled and said, "Thanks, Brian."

Gus asked, "That means that you can come and play all of the time, right, Justin?"

I chuckled and smiled at Brian, then Gus. "Sure."

Lindsay began ushering Gus out of the room. "I'm sure your daddy would like that very much." She looked over her shoulder and gave us a knowing wink.

After the egg hunt was over, we returned to the kitchen and the basket was put over the fridge out of Gus's reach, much to his disappointment. But, he brightened at the notion of going to the park. We said our goodbyes and Lindsay and Gus took off. Brian grabbed two beers out of the fridge and handed me one. "So, what do you think?"

I sipped the beer. "That was a lot of eggs."

He gave me a look. "I mean about us. About you, here."

I ran my fingers through my hair and closed my eyes. "I don't know what I think, Brian. You're throwing a lot at me all at once."

"There's something else."

"What else could there be?"

He reached for my hand. "C'mon. Another part of the building I want you to see." He led me to the elevator and pushed '5'. As we rode up, he kissed me sweetly.

The doors opened to reveal an expansive space. The walls were white and the afternoon sun spilled in through skylights.

"Is this …? What is this for?"

"A studio for you." He pulled me into the space and showed me around. I could smell the fresh paint. "There's a little bathroom here and a kitchenette area. The slop sink is over here. I had one of the gals in the Kinnetik art department advise me as to how to set it up. She does watercolors. I know you're more into acrylics and oils, but …"

"No, it's great." I was stunned at the size of the place and the incredible light. It truly felt like spring and was an energizing space. I could picture myself there.

He opened the doors to a huge cabinet. It was fully stocked with paints, brushes and a number of canvases. He motioned like show model Carol Merrill, "For you."

"Oh, my God. Brian!"

"And the elevator here goes down to the first floor and can open to the alley, the back of the building. That way, you can get those huge canvases of yours in and out without having to mess with stairs."

"Uh, huh." I walked all around the space, imagining the best place for an easel.

Brian continued. "I wanted a new building for Kinnetik and I found this one. It had been a furniture store. The apartment was already set up on the third and fourth floor. This floor was for making furniture."

I smiled as I looked down at the hardwood floor. "I can see here where somebody must have spilled stain."

"I can have that replaced or the floors redone."

"No, I like it. It adds character. It's a wonderful space, Brian."

"So, you'll stay?"

I looked at Brian, the man I love. This was the new, improved, post-bombing, open and vulnerable version of Brian. He wanted me to just run to him and tell him that I was ready for whatever he wanted.

"I don't know what to say, Brian. Do I want to be with you and see you? Yes. Do I want to give up my place to be here with you? Maybe. There are still so many questions, though."

"Like what?"

"What about my apartment? Should I end my lease? My roommate, Janice, will have to look for someone else."

"Financially, it'd make sense to give up the place. Tell Janice she'll have to find someone new. You can help her with some dough until she gets another roommate."

"OK. Well, what about my studio? I suppose I can move everything here."

"Whether or not you move in, you're welcome to this space for your studio."

I smiled and looked around again. "That'd be great, Brian. Thank you."

He smiled back. "What else?"

"You're really taking Gus in for the whole summer?"

"I'm always trying to get more time with Gus, but it's tough with the distance between us. The girls need to work things out, so Lindsay and I came up with this plan and even smelly Melly …" I gave him a look. "I'm sorry, Mel, agreed that it'd be a way for me to work on full time fatherhood and them to have one less thing to worry about for a couple of months."

"If I move in and then Gus is here for the summer … how will you … I … we handle any, uh, tricking? You're certainly not going to bring a guy back here with Gus here."

"No, I …"

"Are you imagining this life of domestic bliss? Monogamy? Marriage? I know you've proposed before and I accepted. But that was before we realized that we were both changing so much for each other's wishes that we were losing ourselves."

"I don't want to lose myself, but I don't want to lose you, either."

I nodded and reached for his hands. "I loved my time in Europe. I was independent and, other than the schedule from my agent, I did exactly what I wanted, when I wanted. I'm not sure I can go from that and the whirlwind that followed me back to New York just to be your, uh, domestic partner or whatever."

"Remember what I told you years ago, when I first asked you to move in with me? We're queer, and if we're together it's because we want to be." He paused and looked into my eyes. "We'll have our own lives; it's just that we'll be here at the end of the day, together. If you help me with Gus once he's here, fine, but I'm not expecting you to be a live in babysitter or anything. There's a great daycare center right up the street; Lindsay and I have him signed up for it." He smiled. "I want you to do what makes you happy."

"I don't know what my happiness is right now, Brian. I have to think about this." I put down my beer, walked toward the window and then spun around to look at the studio again. "This space is beautiful and I appreciate what you're trying to do, but, once again, you've made a huge decision about a major purchase without so much as a five second consultation. You always have to be the one in charge and … fuck, Brian, I have to feel that I can control my own destiny for once."

"I bought this place while you were out of the goddam country and weren't exactly available! I did what I thought was right for me and, hopefully, for us. I'm not asking you to change your city or your lifestyle, just where you sleep at night."

I looked into his eyes as they flashed with intensity. He truly loved me and wanted this life together. The gift of the studio, the key in a golden egg … all were symbols of his love for me and his hope for a new beginning. I knew I'd be happy here, but I still needed time to think. My mind was a swirl of emotions. I needed to let the dust settle and see where it all landed. I hugged him. "This is all happening so fast. I just got back from Europe a couple days ago. I need time to think about all this. I think I need to take a walk, clear my head, think … maybe go back to my place."

He nodded and sighed as he held me. "When will you be back?"

"With Gus and Lindsay here, I'm sure you want to visit with …"

He cut me off with a chaste kiss, but he didn't let me go. So, I listened to whatever he was going to say next.

"I want you here Justin, whatever you decide, whenever you decide. Dinner is at six, and I'd like you here, with me."

"You never plan dinner and you're going to cook?"

"I said dinner was at six, not that I was cooking. It'll be delivered."

"Okay, I'll be here for dinner tonight, but I don't know if I'll have a decision."

"That's alright, dinner's a start… I love you, Justin."

"I love you, too, Brian." We smiled at each other. "Put my flowers in water. I'll show myself out, OK?"

He nodded. I turned and took the elevator down to the alley. I went around to the front of the building and grabbed a cab for the short ride back to Chelsea. I had a lot of thinking to do.

~ ~ ~ BJ ~ ~ ~

Around five o'clock in the evening, I phoned Brian's cell.

"Hey, Sunshine. What's up?"

"Hey, I wanted to say that I've been thinking about the building and all."

"And?"

"I'm definitely going to take you up on the studio. It's a great space, Brian. The studio I rent now is so expensive. Using yours would save me a lot of money."

"It's not mine it's yours. I meant it all along for you."

"I'll take it." I said with a smile.

"Good. What about the rest of my offer?"

"I'm still figuring out exactly what I really want. I wanted to ask you if I could come over and look around again. I could move some of my stuff from the studio into the fifth floor."

"You have a key. You don't need to ask."

"Great. Thanks."

"Do you want me to help you?"

"No, that's okay, Janice has the day off and she and her boyfriend Carlos said that they'd help me move in before they go out to dinner. Then, I need to experience the studio by myself … have some time alone. Can I ask that you don't come up until tomorrow, after I get it set up? I'll call when I'm ready. … I'm going to decline the dinner invite for tonight and we'll go over everything tomorrow. OK?"

"Take the time you need, Sunshine." He paused. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night, Brian."

"Good night."

~ ~ BJ ~ ~

That night Janice, Carlos and I moved a shitload of stuff into the fifth floor studio. There were easels, paints and canvases. We found room for everything. We also brought along a small futon mattress that she and I had stored at our place for the occasional guest. It was to be my new 'too tired to go to bed' crash place. It's also where I slept that night.

I contemplated living there with Brian and what kind of life and arrangement that'd be. I knew I wanted to be with him. At the age of seventeen, all I wanted was to be his partner. Last year, at the age of twenty three, I was starting to get used to an independent life with my own job and pursuing what I wanted to for my art career. By twenty four, though, I had had a taste of both worlds. I wasn't sure I could completely give up my independence.

~ ~ BJ ~ ~

I spent the next morning arranging my supplies and pulling out a canvas that I had wanted to finish for Brian. It was two figures looking out over a landscape with many colors on the horizon. There were blue and orange hues. I'd started it before I went to Europe and I finally got a chance to put the finishing touches on it. My mind was made up about being here and it was time to tell him.

I phoned him and he came up in the elevator. I waited for him at the door. As the door opened, he was standing there with my bouquet of tulips in a beautiful vase.

"Oh, my flowers. I'd almost forgotten. Thank you, Brian." I kissed him and took the vase to the kitchenette area.

"You really have to stop thanking me, Justin. You know I'm no good with gratitude."

"Of course." I smiled and motioned to the studio space. "So, what do you think of the place now?"

He looked around briefly and then focused on me. "Every room is brighter with Sunshine in it." He grabbed me and pulled me to him. He kissed me softly and then the kiss deepened. I almost felt faint from the passion of his kiss. After the kiss ended, he whispered, "So, do I sense a decision being made?"

I put my hands on his chest. "I want to live with you, Brian."

"How come I feel that there's a but in that sentence?"

"No, no buts. It's just …"

"Just what?"

"It's going to take some transition time … moving my things, making sure Janice is OK with a new roommate. And other things."

"Like?"

"Ever since our engagement ended and we went back to 'the rules', I've enjoyed my share of other men's company."

"Yeah, so? So have I."

"I'm just not sure I can just abruptly end all of that."

"Who's asking you to, Justin? You can do what you want … who you want."

"So we'll keep 'the rules', I guess … home by 3, no kissing and no names or numbers."

"Got it."

"That's OK?"

"Like I said, if we're together it's because we want to be. But you forgot a couple of things, Sunshine."

"I did?"

"No bringing anyone back home, unless we agree first, and you always come home to me."

I loved that he said 'home to me'. I smiled and said, "Deal. So, I guess I'll start moving my clothes and stuff in the next few days."

"Great." He kissed me. "I've already figured out which part of the closet you'll have and which drawers are yours."

I gave a sly grin. "You get out of your drawers and I'll get out of mine. We can break in the futon." I started to grab him and slid my hands from his crotch to his butt. There was an unexplained bulge in his pocket.

"What's this in your pocket?" I reached in and pulled out a plastic egg.

"It's nothing. Here, give me that."

"Another golden egg?"

"I just brought that in case …"

I rattled the egg. "What's in here?"

He tried unsuccessfully to snatch it from my hand. "My backup plan."

I was too intrigued. I opened it to reveal our wedding rings. "Oh, my God, Brian. These are our rings. Your backup plan?"

"In case you said you didn't want to move in, I was going to …"

"Propose?"

He shrugged. His sign of admitting that I'd guessed correctly.

I put the smaller ring on my finger and it glistened in the morning sun. "Someday, Brian. We still can." He nodded. "Will you marry me someday?"

He smiled as I placed the ring on his finger, and then he said the same thing that he'd said to me before Lindsay and Mel got married. "Stranger things have happened." I chuckled at the memory of seventeen year old Justin and thirty year old Brian dealing with a pesky kid. We'd been through so much and come so far since then. The look in his eyes went from one of mischief to a warm and loving expression. "Someday."

I was so euphoric. I was going to be living with the man I loved in a city that I loved. Opportunity was mine and I was happy to take it. We kissed again and hugged each other tightly.

As we broke apart, Brian looked around again and saw the painting that I'd just finished.

"Is this a newer one of yours?"

"Yes, I just finished it for you."

He cocked his head slightly as he looked at it. "It's very good. Not like your more abstract pieces." He smiled. "Are those two figures us?"

"They certainly could be."

"Looking into the sunset?"

"It's a sunrise, Brian. This is our new beginning, our spring sunrise."

"To new beginnings."