Nicole4211, this one's for you. :)

Ichigo was in a tight spot.

Literally.

He was currently wedged between what felt like a box of text books and an old luggage bag, his body curled into the smallest ball his flexibility would allow. Crouching in the most uncomfortable, most undignified position he had ever felt, he was beginning to struggle to breathe in the darkened, cramped space.

And right outside that darkened, cramped space, stood the reason of his awkward predicament.

Renji, Ichigo's best friend since forever, was standing next to his bed with his back towards Ichigo, his arms raised to shake his hair out of his trademark high ponytail. The blood-red locks cascaded over his bare shoulders as they fell loose from the constricts of the hair tie, covering the intricate tattoos that decorated his back. Even under the harsh fluorescent light, Renji looked every bit like a male underwear model, his navy boxer briefs clinging snugly to his well-toned rear.

Now, if that was all Ichigo was looking at, he would've had no reason to hide himself in the Renji's closet. The problem was the other person in the room. The one person Ichigo would least expect to see in Renji's bedroom.

Grimmjow Jaegerjaques.

The department's most infamous bad boy—widely known for being loud-mouthed, crass, arrogant, narcissistic, impatient, and with a violent streak to boot. His hot temper was legendary, the colorful stories of people surviving his wrath were told to every new student as a warning. Nobody messed with Grimmjow Jaegerjaques unless they wanted to suffer through their entire undergraduate career, and perhaps longer, seeing that Jaegerjaques had recently applied for graduate school at the same college.

So what this man was doing here in Renji's bedroom, of all places, was beyond Ichigo's comprehension. His sanity was only tested further when Jaegerjaques proceeded to press his body against Renji's back and thread his fingers through the redhead's hair while nuzzling the silky strands. Instead of escaping like he should, Renji leaned into Jaegerjaques' embrace with a sigh.

What the hell happened to Grimmjow-sonofabitch-Jaegerjaques? That had been Renji's nickname for his arch nemesis, the same guy he was turning around to—Ichigo nearly gasped out loud—kiss right this moment.

Oh god—why did Ichigo ever thought that listening to Rukia was a good idea? Just get in, take a peek, and get out, she'd said with a look of full confidence. She had heard rumors that her childhood friend was seeing someone, and apparently, according to her, the best way to confirm the rumor was to search for condoms in Renji's drawers.

What a great idea that was.

Ichigo had to clamp his hands over his mouth when his best friend let out a long, needy moan; that's when he realized that Jaegerjaques was squeezing Renji's butt through his underwear. Renji's eyes were closed, his cheeks tinted pink as his fingers travel slowly up Jaegerjaques' bulging bicep to bury themselves in the man's sky blue hair. A few seconds later, they untangled their limbs, and Jaegerjaques stripped out of his t-shirt. Ichigo swallowed thickly at the sight of more skin. That man, obnoxious as he was, was undeniably attractive. No wonder girls flock to him despite his reputation.

Jaegerjaques was still working on the zipper of his jeans when Renji's lips descended on his. There was another low moan—the sound guttural, lustful—and all of a sudden Ichigo felt his own crotch twitch. He watched helplessly as his best friend practically tore Jaegerjaques' pants off, exposing the man's naked ass to the world. Renji's jeans went next, and then they were pressed against the wall; Jaegerjaques's arms on either side of Renji's head, their groins connected and shamelessly grinding into each other. The image was so wanton, so...inexplicably sexy that Ichigo thought his heart was going to explode from his chest. His silent pants were beginning to match the other men's, their breath ragged and loud as they lost themselves in another searing kiss.

Ichigo closed his eyes and took a handful of deep breaths to calm himself, and when he opened them again, they had moved to the bed; Jaegerjaques pinning his friend into the mattress. The man rolled his hips, essentially dry humping Renji's thighs, and Renji thrust back, groans and quiet curses tumbling from his kiss-swollen lips. Then, just as Ichigo's nose was about to bleed, Jaegerjaques sat back on his haunches to allow Renji to sit up. The redhead leaned over and fumbled with the chest of drawers by his bed and came back up with a packet of condom.

Well, at least Ichigo got the answer he was searching for.

The packet was set aside on the bed as Renji laid back down beneath Jaegerjaques, who braced himself above the redhead and lowered his head to lock lips again. He supported his own weight on one elbow while the other hand disappeared between them. Ichigo gulped. What was he—

Renji arched his back abruptly, a hoarse cry leaving his throat only to be silenced by Jaegerjaques' mouth. The redhead grunted and shifted on the bed, parting his legs wider and wrapping them tightly around Jaegerjaques' waist. He continued to writhe, his hips bucking up...

Ichigo squinted to get a better view. What exactly was Renji doing? His curiosity was sated seconds later as Jaegerjaques propped himself up on his palm and knees. His head was bowed, his bangs brushing Renji's chest as he hovered over the man. His hand, the one partially blocked by Renji's thigh, was moving vigorously between Renji's legs. The redhead's arousal stood proudly over his lower abdomen, so what was...

Ichigo's eyes widened as realization dawned. His face flushed immediately, the mental image of Jaegerjaques fucking his friend with his fingers much too vivid for his liking.

By the time Ichigo recovered enough to look again, Jaegerjaques was sitting back on his haunches once more, his hands shaking as he rolled on the condom on his erection. As soon as that was done, Renji yanked the blue-haired man down to crush their lips together in a very noisy, very wet, kiss that nearly ripped a moan out of Ichigo's mouth.

Oh god, he never should've agreed to carry out Rukia's ridiculous suggestion. Now, the picture of his best friend in the throes of passion was forever seared into his memory.

A moan, one that dragged on and morphed into a loud exclamation of Jaegerjaques' first name, accompanied the motion of the man's hips. The first thrust was swift and forceful, and Renji's expression reflected it—teeth bared, his eyes squeezed shut. Jaegerjaques groaned Renji's name, his voice gruff and breathless, into his lover's neck, and then he began to rock his hips, pulling out and slamming back in mercilessly; the power and pace matching Ichigo's expectation from one with a reputation like Jaegerjaques.

Renji recovered quickly and he was soon lost in their rhythm, his fingers clutching the sheets as he pushed himself up to meet every thrust. The only sounds in the room—besides the thunderous pounding of Ichigo's heart, that is—were their cries of passion and the sound of their bodies slapping against each other. Ichigo thought he was going to die.

They parted suddenly and switched places—with the speed and ease that implied their familiarity with the action, Ichigo noted—now with Renji straddling Jaegerjaques' hips. The redhead leaned down and ran his tongue from Jaegerjaques' collar bone to his earlobe..and then he bit down, hard, on the man's neck. A low growl escaped Jaegerjaques' throat; Ichigo was just beginning to feel worried for his best friend's life when Renji lowered himself on his lover in one smooth, firm stroke.

Ichigo blinked dumbly as he watched his friend—the one whom he thought hated the very man he was currently riding—impale himself over and over again until Jaegerjaques wrapped a large hand over his straining length. Renji gasped and went rigid immediately. It was as though time was suspended, then Jaegerjaques arched his back and thrust up one last time before letting out a deep, broken groan; a look of pure bliss contorting his features.

Ichigo shivered as the two lovers sank bonelessly into each other's arms. His mind was blown—absolutely, utterly blown. He had just watched his best friend sleep with the most feared, yet most desirable man in the entire university, and damn if that wasn't the best porn he had ever seen in his life.

He continued to stare at the two prone forms on the bed until they finally moved. Still tangled together, Jaegerjaques buried his nose into Renji's hair and whispered something. Ichigo was too far to hear anything.

It wasn't too hard to figure out what was said, though, because his best friend replied with a tired but wide grin.

"I love you too."

Ichigo stifled a gasp of shock at his friend's declaration. Someone had a lot of explaining to do.

But first of all, he would have to wait for his chance to escape from his hiding place. To do that, he'd have to wait. Unfortunately for him, those two definitely didn't look like they were going anywhere soon.

Well, it was just as well, Ichigo mused. The wet patch at the front of his thin cotton shorts needed some time to dry anyway.

The End.

It's a crackfic, okay? Don't bash me too hard for the lack of logic and details. ;)