Let me know what you think! This fic is going to be extremely OOC, but I had to make it extremely funny. Also, it is rated T for a reason, they are teenagers. Hormonal teenagers. Nothing graphic, but they are teenagers. They will curse, cuss, and be perverted. Remember that.
Any suggestions are welcome!
Season 2 never happened.
Disclaimer: I don't own YJ in any way, shape, or form. I wish I did, but I don't.
"What do you guys wanna do now?" Dick asked, looking at his friends.
Wally shrugged, pulling out his laptop. Artemis leaned onto him, watching him go on the internet. They both suddenly started cracking up.
"What?" Kaldur asked with curiosity.
"Look at this!" Wally laughed, turning the screen to show the Atlantean. To everyone's surprise, Kaldur burst into full laughter.
"If it made Kal laugh, I've gotta see this." Zatanna grabbed the laptop and Robin looked over her shoulder. They started laughing as well. Zatanna ended up lying on the ground, holding her stomach as she attempted to regain her breath. Robin gave his signature cackle, practically dying with laughter.
Raquel, M'gann, and Conner read the title. "17 Things to do at Walmart."
"I don't think this will end well..." Miss Martian said nervously, standing outside the store in her superhero uniform. The entire team were clad in their uniforms, all ignoring the strange looks and stares they got from civilians.
"Don't worry, Miss M!" Kid Flash said cheerfully, "There are nine of us, and seventeen things to do with one thing that includes two people- I did not just say that, did I?"
The team burst into laughter. Even Superboy, who had just been given the talk, snickered lightly. Kid Flash's face was bright red.
"I-I didn't mean it that way! I was talking about number 3 on the list, it requires two people to do it!" he groaned as they walked inside the store.
Once their laughter ceased and turned into panting, Rocket volunteered to go first, heading to the Electronics section. Robin pretended to wipe a tear away.
"We-we've corrupted her already!" He said, pride leaking into his voice.
Rocket came out of the isle a few minutes later.
"Well?" Artemis asked. Rocket smirked, just as a long line of different alarms and ringing sounded. Several shoppers stopped what they were doing and turned to see what the noise was coming from.
A few employees dashed towards the noise, all of them red faced and looking angry. One of the employees turned to look at the laughing teens with anger on his face.
"Run!" Aqualad whispered to his friends, and they quickly dashed away.
1. Set all the alarms in Electronics to go off at five minute intervals.
"I wanna do this one," Red Arrow declared, smirking as he took a can of tomato juice from his backpack.
"Why would you have that?" Superboy asked.
"Why would you not?" he countered. Superboy just blinked. Red Arrow opened the can and poured a little out, making a trail of the orange-reddish liquid to the men's bathroom.
The team hid behind shelves of toys, all of them snickering as an Red Arrow smirked again and made another trail leading to the ladies' bathroom. Kid Flash wolf-whistled, earning a dirty look from the red archer.
"Roy, hide!" Robin hissed, as he spotted an employee nearing the bathroom. Red Arrow disappeared into the long rows of toys and watched the employee's face turn pale to beet red.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
"Alright, KF and I have got this one!" Robin declared, dragging his best friend off. He stood on one side of a walk way and Kid Flash stood on the other. As another employee neared them, the two boys pretended to pull a rope, blocking the man's path.
The employee blinked, and stopped walking. He was a bit questionable as to why a bunch of sidekicks were in Walmart... pretending to pull a rope. Well, they are teens, to be fair. The employee quickly caught on, and played along.
3. Pretend to pull a rope between isles and see if people fall for it
"C'mon, Kal, you'r turn!" Wally clapped his friend on the back. He sighed, picked up a small packet of M&M's, and walked up to the check out place.
"Excuse me, ma'am?" He said with a straight face. The young woman looked at him, and her eyes went wide.
"I- uh, Aqualad?" she opened and closed her mouth several times.
"Yes. May I put this bag of M&M's on lay away?" he asked seriously, holding up the bag. The employee stared at him with her mouth open in shock, as if seriously considering if he was joking or not.
"I- uh, but- what?"
Aqualad simply walked away as if nothing happened, leaving a bewildered woman. "Sidekicks these days..."
4. Put a bag of M&M's on lay away
"I wanna do this one." Artemis said, smirking creepily.
She walked up to a male employee. "Sir?"
"Yes?" He asked.
"I was told to tell you Code 3 in Housewares." She said simply.
The employee, who had a name tag saying 'Hello, My name is Todd', widened his eyes. "Oh no, not again... I'll get Steve to do it this time!" he said, his voice horrified as he ran off.
The team burst into laughter, "I wonder what Code 3 means..." Zatanna wondered.
With Todd
"Steve! Code 3 in Housewares!" he called to the other male. He paled.
"No! A kid could not have thrown up again!"
5. Walk up to an employee and say in an official tone "Code 3 in housewares" and see what happens
"Alright, you guys see one anywhere?" Superboy looked around.
"There." Aqualad pointed to a wet floor sign. Superboy simply picked it up and walked to the clothing section, where it was carpeted.
A pair of teen boys walked over, and burst out laughing. One guy high-fived Superboy. "Nice job, bro! Don't know who you are, but Superman is now my favorite hero!"
Before Superboy could throw a hissy fit about how he wasn't Superman, the others quickly dragged him away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION: WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
"Alright, I'm going in." Zatanna said mischievously. She climbed into a tent on display, moving around to get comfortable. She turned to a buff looking man with ragged hair and tattoos, her head sticking out from the tent door.
"Hi! You can come in if you bring pillows!" She said in a peppy voice. The man looked at her carefully, eyes roaming her body before smiling creepily and saying,
"Okay!" he ran off to find pillows. Robin's eyes widened and he quickly dragged Zatanna away from the camping department.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department
Miss Martian acted casual, browsing through the clothes. An employee smiled at her.
"May I help you?" he asked politely, eyes a bit wide at seeing the green-skinned girl.
Miss Martian let out a sob, tears leaking out her eyes and she shouted, "Why can't you people just leave me alone!?"
The employee took a step back, eyes wide as saucers. "I-I'm sorry?"
Miss Martian gave another exaggerated wail, before running of to hide her laughter.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and shout "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
"My turn again." Rocket smiled, and randomly picked up a bunch of clothing before walking into a dressing room stall. After about a minute, the team outside heard a loud shout of,
"THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!" a second later, shoppers fled the dressing rooms.
"Haha!" Robin burst into laughter, falling to the ground.
Employees ran into the dressing room, dragging Rocket out.
"Hey! Let me go! Do you KNOW who my mentor is? A member of the Justice League! PUT ME DOWN!" She struggled in the large men's grips. Rocket spotted her teammates. "Guys! Help me!"
The team exchanged looks.
"I'm sorry, but we've never met her in our lives!" Artemis exclaimed.
9. Walk into a dressing room and after a while, shout out "There's no toilet paper in here!"
Aqualad gave a scream. His teammates and two employees ran towards him, shocked. Aqualad furiously gestured to the fish in the fishtanks.
"How-how dare you?! Why don't you just leave those poor fish alone!? THEY HAVE FEELINGS TOO! IT'S INJUSTICE!" he shouted.
"Sir, you're creating a disruption-"
"DO YOU KNOW HOW CRUEL YOU ARE BEING TO THEM?!"
The employees dragged Aqualad out of the store.
"INJUSTICE, I TELL YOU!" was the last thing they heard from him.
There was a silence between the team. "You know, that wasn't on the list, but that was awesome!" Wally exclaimed, laughing.
10. In the fish tanks, scream "Why can't you just leave all those poor fish alone! IT'S INJUSTICE!"
"This is totally mine!" Miss Martian beamed, running into a clothes rack and camouflaging herself in. An elderly woman passed by, looking at the shirts.
"OOH! OOH! PICK ME! PICK ME!" Miss Martian shouted, bursting out of the clothing rack and turning the camouflage off.
The elderly woman screamed and ran off. Employees quickly led Miss Martian out of the store. She didn't seem to notice. She was too busy laughing her head off.
11. Hide in a clothing rack and when someone comes over, burst out and shout "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Superboy just wanted to go outside to wait with the others *CoughMissMartianCough*. He took a pillow from a large bin and walked to an isle, laying down on the ground and closing his eyes.
The others casually walked around in the isle or around.
Ten minutes passed, and at least fifteen employees and thirty shoppers had passed by. No one spared more than a second glance at the sleeping clone.
Eventually, Robin poked the half-Kryptonian, declaring he was really asleep.
"You know, I think we learned something today." Red Arrow said.
"Yeah." Zatanna nodded, "You can sleep in Walmart, AND NO ONE CARES."
12. Take a pillow and lie down on the ground or on a bottom shelf, pretending to sleep
Zatanna snapped her fingers and whispered somethings backwards. Music from "Mission Impossible" began to play and she suspiciously looked around, tip toeing through the isles.
She looked at each customer, staring them down before they got uncomfortable and she looked away, whispering into her bare wrist, "No sight of him yet."
Zatanna made the mistake of doing this to the manager, and was quickly kicked out and joined the others outside, including Superboy who had awoken from his nap and gone outside.
13. Dart around the store while suspiciously humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song
"Special Batglue." Robin tossed a bottle to Artemis, who grinned and pulled out a five dollar bill. She pasted the bottle on one side of the dollar and placed it on the ground.
The remainder of the teens watched as a six year old girl skipped over to the dollar bill and tried to peel it off. "Mommy! The ground isn't letting me take the money!"
The teens stifled their snickers and laughs, and the mother quickly pulled her daughter away.
Three teens walked up to the dollar. One ripped the dollar bill, angry. "Damn it! Why won't the freaking money come off!"
"Dude, that bill is invalid anyways, you ripped it." Another one snickered. Artemis's eyes flashed and she stood up from her hiding spot.
"You idiots! You have no idea the value of money these days!" she stormed towards them. The three teens, obviously shocked by her appearance (I mean, a chick in a hero costume with a bow and arrow has to be slightly stunning) and terrified by the noticeable weapons on her, ran for their lives.
"GET BACK HERE! YOU OWE ME FIVE BUCKS NOW, YOU DOUCHEBAGS!"
14. Glue a dollar bill to the ground in the toy isle to see how many kids try to get it
"I'm taking this one." Red Arrow bravely walked to the hunting department, picking up a hunting rifle as an employee warily approached him. Red Arrow handling guns couldn't be good.
"Uh, if you're looking for the bow and arrows, they're over there." He pointed down the isle.
"Actually, that is extremely stereo typical! Just because I'm Red Arrow and an archer, does not mean I don't have an interest in guns!" he snapped.
"I thought you were Speedy..."
"For Jesus' sake! A man can't change his name without people calling him by his original one!"
"I-I'm sorry?"
"Good. Now, do you know where the anti-depressants are?" he asked bluntly. The employee opened and closed his mouth several times before hastily taking the rifle out of Red Arrow's hands and telling him where they were.
15. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask an employee where the anti-depressants are
"Since, Rob and I want to do the last part, you can go again, Red." Kid Flash declared.
Just in time too.
"Excuse me shoppers-"
Red Arrow let out a piercing screech. Shoppers looked at him as if he was insane.
"NO! NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!" he screeched, crouched into a small ball on the ground with a terrified expression on his face. A few security guards took him away, one of them muttering,
"To Arkham."
16. When an announcement comes on over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
"We're so getting kicked out for this one." Robin said, looking at his best friend.
Kid Flash nodded, staring at his friend in the shopping cart grimly. At his top speed while pushing Robin, his screamed to anyone who'd listen:
"THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE COMING!" he screamed.
17. Push your friend in a shopping cart through the store and shout, "The British are coming, the British are coming!"
And from that point on, they were forbidden from stepping foot inside any Walmart for the rest of their lives.
Vote on where you want to team to go next!
a) the Zoo
b) Tattoo Parlor
c) Public Library
d) School
e) Concert
f) Central City Rogue's Hideout
g) Disney World
h) Smallville
i) Video Game Tournament
j) an elevator