Chapter 27

"Well, this is totally…random, Sammy," Dean arched an eyebrow as he rested more comfortably in the passenger seat of the Impala and turned to look at his little brother who was behind the wheel,

"What made you decide to want to do this?"

Sam was silent for a few moments as he took in his older brother's question and after shooting Dean a quick glance, he shrugged his shoulders and pulled up to a stop light,

"I don't know…it just crossed my mind the other day when I picked you up from work, you know? When was the last time the two of us ever actually had a break? And I don't just mean staying in the cabin eating bonbons and watching porn, Dean."

Raising both eyebrows now, the older brother took a long sip of his beer and kept his eyes on Sam as he urged him to continue,

"Go on."

"You told me I was doing better at driving, well enough where I could even make small trips on my own," Sam continued,

"And…well, it's been a long couple of years, Dean. You have to admit it…"

Lowering his eyes and fingering the bottle in his hands, Dean nodded his head,

"I know."

"So…I just thought, what the hell? It's totally random, but I was live chatting with Sarah a few weeks ago and she told me about this quiet place a couple hours away from here, this camp site-"

"Sam, you know how I feel about camping," Dean interrupted with a groan, rolling his eyes to the roof of his beloved car.

"We're not CAMPING, Dean…well, not really," The younger Winchester shrugged again,

"It's not like we're gonna be pitching a tent or anything."

"Thank God."

"It's just for a day and we can even sleep in the car, Dean; it's not like we've never done it before," Sam went on as he continued driving,

"Sarah just told me that it was a quiet, peaceful place and…hardly anybody goes there at around this time of year, you know?"

"If you say so, Sam," Dean sighed softly as he swallowed the last bit of beer and was about to toss it to the floor when memories washed over him like a tidal wave.

The last time he had officially drank in the Impala was when he had crashed her. He had trashed his beloved car to where she was almost unrecognizable anymore. A sadness crossed over the older brother's face as the memories started to come at him full force-

"You okay, Dean?"

Jerking out of his thoughts, Dean breathed a heavy sigh and turned to face his little brother,

"Yeah, I'm fine, Sam…"

"You sure?" When he was greeted with silence, Sam frowned,

"Dean? Want me to pull over or-"

"No, no it's alright, Sammy," Dean interrupted gently, pushing the memories out of his mind. That's what they were after all. Memories. Bad memories of course. They were still a part of his past, but that's just what it was. His past.

Never to be repeated.

0000

"Well, this wasn't how I expected the day to turn out-"

"Sam, you're experiencing some pain," Dean cut in as he threw his and his little brother's bags onto the motel table and shot Sam a stern look,

"And you know the drill, Sammy. If you start experiencing pain, you stop driving. That's the deal we made when I started to re-teach you, remember?" He held up his hand when Sam opened his mouth to object,

"No exceptions."

"Fine," Sam sighed in annoyance as he sat down heavily on the nearest bed. He gritted his teeth as he attempted to unhook his prosthetics, but after a few moments was stopped by Dean's own hands,

"Dean, it's okay, I got it-"

"Nu-uh," Dean interrupted, carefully and gently unhooking both of his brother's prosthetics and laid them down on the bed beside him. He didn't waste any time before he began massaging the leftover stumps that used to be Sam's hands,

"Feeling better, kiddo?"

Gulping, Sam closed his eyes as the pain slowly started to leave,

"Yeah…thanks…"

"No more driving for us today, Sam; it's getting late anyway, we got kind of a late start, didn't we?" He attempted a grin for his brother's sake,

"We'll continue in the morning if you're feeling better."

"I'll be fine, Dean," Sam sighed as he allowed himself to look at where his real hands used to be,

"I don't know why it's still a little hard to see them like that…"

"You went through a traumatic experience, Sammy."

"So did you."

"What are you saying?" Dean frowned.

"Both of our experiences were horrible, Dean," Sam quietly explained as he turned his eyes away from the stumps and met his brother's eyes instead,

"Just in different ways. Don't go thinking mine was worse then yours, because you know what I'm gonna tell you…"

Dean opened his mouth, an argument on the tip of his tongue, but soon stopped as he met his baby brother's large hazel eyes and remembered all of the intense conversations the two of them had had in the past two years…but especially within the last couple of months. He wasn't about to take another giant step backwards.

A long stretch of silence passed between the two brothers before Sam finally pulled gently away,

"I'm alright now, Dean. They were probably hurting because I hadn't driven for that long with those hands yet." He started to rise to his feet, ignoring the yawn that escaped his mouth,

"We can get back on the road-"

"I don't think so," Dean shook his head and gently pushed Sam back down on the bed,

"That's not gonna happen, Sammy. Besides, I'm also pretty whipped, we need to get some sleep."

As Sam finally accepted the arrangement, the older Winchester smiled and reached for his brother's prosthetics once more and helped hook them back into place. He watched as a look of utmost relief came over Sam's face and choosing not to comment any further, Dean walked over to Sam's duffel and placed it on his brother's bed, silent communication passing between them.

It wasn't until over two hours later when Sam woke up to the familiar sound of the rustling of covers in the bed beside him and with a tired groan, he cracked open an eye just in time to see Dean climb out of bed and walk over to the mini fridge that was set up in the corner. He opened both eyes and waited until his brother opened the door and stopped for a few moments. Sam held his breath, slightly nervous; this was a similar incident to what had happened not too long ago, when he had caught Dean hesitating before grabbing a beer, for fear of drinking in front of him.

But he won't be making that same mistake again, Sam thought over in his head as he made sure to stay silent,

He wouldn't do that.

Finally breathing out a quiet sigh of relief as Dean finally grabbed one of the beer bottles they had stashed in the fridge, Sam watched as his brother, still oblivious to Sam waking up, sat back down on his bed and unscrewed the cap open.

Without thinking twice about it, Sam finally pushed his own covers back and rose up out of bed. As his bare feet hit the floor, the younger Winchester watched as Dean turned around, slightly startled, but didn't say anything as Sam walked over to the mini fridge and grabbed a second bottle.

No words were spoken between the two brothers as Sam slowly and carefully unscrewed the cap on his own beer bottle and took a seat at his big brother's side. Without saying a word, Sam lifted his bottle up and smiled as Dean clanked his against his own and the two drank in a comfortable silence.

0000

"I told you it was deserted," Sam smirked later on the next day as he climbed on top of the hood of the Impala beside his brother and stared out at the beautiful lake in front of them. The Winchester's had arrived just a little less then a half an hour ago and the first thing that had come out of his brother's mouth had been the unexpected words: "You were right."

"Yeah, yeah, don't go getting a big head over it, Samantha," Dean quipped back as he reached down and opened the cooler to grab two beers, handing one to his baby brother,

"Don't be expecting me to agree with you every day from here on out."

"Shut up," Sam rolled his eyes as he took a small sip of his beer, but kept his eyes on Dean, who did the same,

"Hey…"

"Yeah?"

"You seem to be more comfortable drinking around me," Sam hesitantly pointed out,

"Last night, you didn't seem to have a problem with it."

Shrugging his shoulders as he looked out at the lake that seemed to stretch on endlessly and then turned his head to look at the countless amount of picnic tables set up nearby,

"Maybe I wasn't."

"Maybe?" Sam repeated.

"You want for me to tell you that you were right again, Sammy?" Dean rolled his eyes to the blue sky,

"You're really asking for an ass-kicking, aren't you, kiddo-"

"I just want to make sure you're really doing okay, Dean, that's all," Sam interrupted quickly, turning to look in the other direction, his hazel eyes taking in the endless view. It really was beautiful. If anybody was right in this conversation, it was Sarah Blake,

"It's just something I especially noticed last night."

"I'm doing better, Sam; and I'm telling you the truth."

"Finally!" Sam quipped back, shooting a wink at his brother and laughed as Dean glared at him, although there was no heat or anger there,

"You know what else Sarah said about this place?"

"What's that?" Dean tilted his head back and took another sip of his beer.

"Remember how we used to star gaze on this very hood at night?"

Allowing a tiny smile to form on his lips at that very memory, Dean silently recalled how the very last time he and Sam had ever done that-a little something that was reserved for them and them only-it was the night before his baby brother took the swan dive into Lucifer's Cage. Or rather, the night before Sam said the big 'yes',

"It's been a while since we did that, hasn't it, Sammy?"

"Nearly two years…" Sam voice softened as a distant look came over his eyes and Dean didn't miss the slight flinch that came over him at just the memory,

"Right before I said 'yes', actually."

"That was then, though, buddy," Dean attempted to turn the conversation away from such a heavy subject matter,

"And that's not gonna happen to you ever again, Sammy. So tonight-"

"Star gazing," Sam finished for him with a slight smile, ignoring the slight moisture building up in his hazel eyes.

0000

"Sammy, would you get your nose out of your laptop for just one moment and quit chatting with your girlfriend to help me find that Metallica tape?" Dean shouted from where his head was inside the Impala,

"I know I stuck it right here!"

"Keep looking, Dean!" Sam called back with a roll of his eyes as he turned back to the webcam hooked up to his laptop and smiled at Sarah,

"And in case you forgot, she's not my girlfriend…"

"Friend, girlfriend, whatever, just help me out here, damnit!" Dean growled under his breath as he continued to leaf through his cassette tape collection.

"Dean, you're the one who wants to listen to Metallica this evening, not me," Sam huffed as he shot a wink in Sarah's direction, causing her to chuckle softly.

"Where'd you hide it, Sam?" Sarah questioned from the laptop screen.

Silently motioning to the pocket of his flannel shirt, Sam had to force himself not to laugh too loudly as Dean continued growling from behind him. He was about to say something else to Sarah when his brother appeared right behind him and spoke over his shoulder at the webcam,

"Sorry, Sarah, but I need to borrow your boyfriend here for one second-"

"Shut up." Both Sarah and Sam interrupted at the same time.

Rolling his eyes at his older brother, Sam shook his head and turned back to the computer screen,

"I'll talk with you when we get back home, Sarah." As he bid his friend goodnight, Sam shut off his laptop from where it was it sitting on one of the picnic tables and turned back around to see Dean making his way back towards the Impala.

"You're the one who drove my baby last, Sam, not me!" Dean shouted again as he sat in the driver's seat and started to leaf through his box of cassette tapes again.

"Did you actually check inside the tape player, Dean?" Sam raised an eyebrow as he leaned against the hood of the car.

"Hmm," Dean huffed, turning his attention away from his little brother for a moment as he pushed the play button. Fully expecting to hear the loud blasting of his missing Metallica tape in the speakers, Dean nearly jumped out of his seat when instead, his little brother's voice came through instead.

Hey, Dean. Remember how I asked you whether or not you wanted to keep the last tape? Well, you said you wanted to, but I hope that you change your mind after listening to this. I finally managed to go behind your back and make this while you were at work, so you have no way of knowing this even exists. Oh, and in case you're wondering…I've got your Metallica tape. Don't worry, I didn't throw it away or anything. Although it is tempting.

Shock coming over his face as he listened, Dean lifted his head and met his brother's eyes and shook his head as Sam pulled the missing cassette tape out of his shirt pocket and smirked,

"You little bitch," He mumbled to himself, although he couldn't hold back the grin.

I figured, this is the only way I can really talk to you without having you interrupt me, but knowing you, Dean, you'll STILL find someway to interrupt, but it's not like I'll know that. I know I'm about to go all chick-flick moment on you right now, but guess what, Dean? I don't care. What I have to say, you need to hear, so settle down in the front seat of the Impala-I know that's where you're at right now-and listen tight, big brother. You saved my life, Dean…again. And I couldn't thank you enough. Just because you're drinking for the rest of your life doesn't mean that you're not my big brother anymore. This in no way, shape or form makes you weak, Dean; going through everything you went through just makes you stronger. That's the truth. It's been a long two years, I have to say, but despite all the pain and angst we've been through since you helped get me out of Lucifer's Cage…I honestly wouldn't trade those two years because I feel like we're closer now then we've ever been. Call me a girl, call me Samantha, I don't care. I love you, Dean.

Click.

Dean was unaware of anything that was going on around him as the tape clicked off and turned over to the blank side until he felt his brother's presence standing right outside the driver's side door,

"Sammy…"

"You can have your Metallica tape back, first," Sam reached out and placed the familiar tape into Dean's palm before pulling another tape out of his pocket,

"Also one more quick question." When Dean looked up at him with green eyes brimming with tears, Sam smiled gently and tapped the second tape in with his index finger,

"Are you sure you want to keep this one? It's just bad memories, Dean, and you know it." Sam stepped back as he allowed Dean to climb out of the car, the first tape Sam had made for him before he had died lying limply between his fingers,

"Dean…"

"Alright," The older brother finally replied with a nod of his head. Without any words spoken between the two, Dean walked over to the lake's edge and stood there, staring up at the night sky. Taking a deep breath and sharing one more look at his little brother, who was nodding his head encouragingly, Dean finally lifted his arm and flung the tape into the lake with a light splash.

"It's just a memory now," Sam whispered, reaching out and laying a hand on his big brother's shoulder.

"Thanks, Sam," Dean replied back, his voice just as quiet as Sam's. Without a second thought, the older brother reached over and pulled Sam close to his chest, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and squeezing tightly.

"So what do you say about getting behind the wheel again?" Sam finally asked as he released Dean,

"Give it a shot?" He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the Impala's keys,

"She's always been yours, Dean."

A full smile spreading over his face as he watched the familiar car keys dangling in front of his eyes, Dean nodded his head and snatched the keys from Sam's hand,

"Let's do it." He watched as Sam moved towards the cooler and grabbed the handle, slowly lifting it off the ground to heave back into the Impala.

"We're still gonna star gaze, Dean," Sam smirked as he climbed into his signature passenger seat,

"Just in a different area." He nodded towards the keys in Dean's hand,

"Start her up, big brother." As the Impala purred to life, Sam spotted the Metallica tape now resting in between their seats,

"Oh and you might want to put this back in the player."

"You're a sneak, you realize that, Sammy?" Dean grinned as he ejected Sam's tape and inserted his classic hard rock, his smile growing wider as the familiar song began playing in the speakers,

"You and Sarah both…speaking of which-"

"Shut up."

"No, seriously, Sam-"

"Shut up."

Laughter began to fill the Impala as Dean revved the engine, silently rejoicing in the feel of the soft rumble beneath him and the steering wheel underneath his hands. As he put the car into reverse and then into drive, Dean slowly backed out onto the deserted side road, all the while shooting a smile his brother's way.

Yes. This really was home.

The End