Summary:
Buffy has just been brought back from the dead, but she isn't the same as she once was. She's traumatized, scared, then she gets angry. Can Buffy forgive the Scoobies for playing God with her life. She starts to spiral out of control. Can Spike help her before Buffy gets lost in her self?

Set: AU Season 6 and onwards. Not following canon but might throw some bits in there.
Disclaimer: Well I would certainly love to own anything to do with Buffy, but unfortunately, I don't. Curse this wretched world!
Joss is master of the universe!

I was back. I really was. These people, which my memories later told me were my friends, had brought me back. They had pulled me from the peace that had come for me following my death. I had actually died. Willingly. They had thought that it was their right to pass judgement on whether or not I was to live or die. Now, sitting back in the bathroom at Revello Drive with Dawn cleaning me up felt wrong, like I didn't belong any more. I had sacrificed my life for Dawn, I was ready for the end, I had done all I could and I wasn't scared. My life was never supposed to be that of any normal girl, and even though prolonging my life had been my main goal through-out everything, when I finally realised I had done all I could for the world, my friends thought I hadn't given enough, that I owed the world more of the excruciating pain, the loneliest, the heartbreak and terrifying horrors of the slayer life.

Dawn had never looked so happy, there were tears regularly sliding down her checks and she was repeating the same sentence every minute or so. "I just can't believe your here, really here" She was looking at me in awe as if she were seeing the sun for the very first time, like there was hope in the world again. She stood in the bathroom with me helping me change out of the clothes that they had buried me in. Dawn finished off the buttons on my shirt and started looking for medical supplies to help with the small cuts on my arms and the bloody mass that were once my knuckles. Before she could start there was banging and shouting from downstairs and the sudden slam of the front door. "That's Spike, he's going to be so excited!" Dawn squealed running out the room. All coherent thoughts seemed to be passing me by. I followed her though, it seemed the logical thing to do. I felt; numb, broken. But worst of all, I felt, wrong.