Later that night, lying in bed, Elizabeth thought about her day. Her mind kept returning to her talk with Lydia, and the idea of another Darcy baby.

"William?" she nudged her husband, who had been snoring softly.

"Yes?" he mumbled.

"What if I wanted to try to have another child?" she whispered, already knowing his answer.

"We have had this discussion before, Lizzy," he sighed, a trace of past ghosts in his voice. He would give his beloved wife almost anything, but she always seemed to want things that he could not provide.

"Perhaps, we could reconsider? It is only that I feel as though we are missing someone. I have this sensation that our family is not yet complete. I want our daughter to have a sister to quarrel with and steal bonnets from and tease about her crushes."

"Darling, she has two fine brothers to tease and they will be happy to steal her bonnets, and quarrel with her."

"I know that, but it is simply not the same. She has so enjoyed having Julia here, but soon the Wickhams will be gone and then Anne will be wishing for someone to play dolls with again and it will only get worse as she gets older and becomes a young woman. She can't sneak into her brother's beds at night to talk about who danced with whom at a ball."

"Well, I would think not, but she has you, my dear."

"Oh William, in the coming years I fear that my own daughter shall come to see me as her worst enemy. That is how it is with mothers and daughters."

"What about me? Were you not close to your father at that age?"

That was William, always finding the solution to any problem.

"Yes, I was close to my father, but I also had Jane and Charlotte."

"But is it worth the risk?"

Elizabeth turned away from her husband. She knew he was right, but her heart still tugged in her chest at the thought of a little girl with her dark curls and William's deep, thoughtful eyes. She wanted that vision so bad, but then Elizabeth forced herself to think about the vision that was now haunting her husband. She thought of the day James had come into the world. One of the most painful and yet best days of her life, but for her husband it would be always be the day he almost lost his wife.

She woke up excited, knowing that she would have her baby that day.

She tiptoed into the nursery to tell the children that their new baby was on the way.

She impatiently paced the birthing room, waiting for the midwife to arrive.

Then it all changed, with one look of worry in the midwife's eye. After a few hours of laboring Mrs. Montgomery said that the baby had shifted. He would have to be repositioned, or there could be complications. With a few practiced motions, the baby was shifted, but Elizabeth knew that it would not be that easy.

After what seemed like a lifetime, or maybe it was just the blink of an eye, she started to feel like everything around her was fading away.

She couldn't hear what people were saying, but she saw their troubled looks.

She could not stand their looks of concern and pity, so she tried to focus on the large clock in the corner of the room, but she knew in her heart that it was taking too long.

She remembered looking into her sisters eyes and thinking that this was the last thing she was ever going to see.

Remembered begging Jane to make sure her children taken care of, especially Anne.

She remembered old Mrs. Montgomery telling her that if she wanted to live then she would have to do exactly as she said.

She remembered trying so hard to hear what the old midwife was saying but the voice is getting quieter and farther away.

She remembered feeling as though she was floating above her body and then nothing.

Blackness.

A baby screaming. A million voices telling her that he was fine.

Who was fine? The baby, of course the baby was fine. How could he not be? Her mother had delivered five children without as much as a hiccup. Elizabeth, herself had two perfectly children in the nursery waiting to greet the new addition. Why would they tell her he was fine?

Wait, it's was boy. She had a son. Another son. James.

The next thing she was aware of was Jane rubbing her arms. Why couldn't she stop shivering? Why was there blood on Jane's arm?

Where was the baby? She should be holding him. Where was James? Who was with him?

Why wasn't someone with her baby? Panic. Darkness. Rubbing on her arms again.

William holding her.

Why was he looking at her like that?

Where was James? She was shouting then, but nobody was answering her questions.

Then, finally, James was there. Her sweet James.

But why did he look like he had already been in a fist fight?

It was fine. Everything was fine. She focused on his face, try to remember everything about him.

Anne and Henry should be there.

They needed to meet their brother.

Someone should have gone to get them. She needed to see her baby girl. She needed all of her children with her.

When Anne and Henry were brought in—against everyone's protests except William, who appeared to be in a mood to give her anything she could ask for—Anne wrapped her in a tight hug around her neck. Henry snuggled into his father's lap, his tiny arms clutching his brother protectively.

It wasn't until later that day that she really understood what had happened.

That both she and James almost died, but by then they are all fine and she tried not to think about it. That was until William told her that this is her last baby.

In the present, Elizabeth sighed. Her mind was telling her to be thankful for what she had. She was luckier than so many others. She had three beautiful children, a husband who would give her almost anything, and the opportunity to grow old with the love of her life. Still, in her heart was a glimpse of something more, and though she had accepted that it would not come to pass, she ached a little for what would never be. Turning over she pulled William's arm over her, content to feel his warmth surround her as she dreamed of what might have been.

A few days later, Elizabeth was sorting through some things she had been storing in the room across from the nursery. Miss Green would arrive in a few a days, and Mrs. Reynolds needed time to have the room aired out. She had excused the maid, and was looking through a chest filled with Anne's old baby clothes, when her husband arrived.

"You know Mrs. Reynolds could oversee this project, do you not?" he asked.

"We should not be keeping so much. These things could be put to use by others. I am just being silly for holding on to them," she sighed, picking up a little dress with beautiful green ribbons on it. "I just cannot seem to let go of them."

Fitzwilliam Darcy did not usually question his decisions, especially when he knew that he was making the right choice for everyone involved. That being said, he was finding it very hard to hold tight to his convictions while his wife sat clutching a tiny dress as if it were the most precious thing on the planet. He had been worried when she had told him that she was expecting their first child, but after Elizabeth's easy pregnancy, and quick delivery he was thrilled to welcome their daughter. Henry had been just as simple. It had been a surprise how tired and sickly Elizabeth had been during her third pregnancy. The worry that had burdened his heart got worse with each passing day. He remembered the day James was born with traumatic accuracy.

On the day-nearly a month before it was time-that James entered the world, he had been woken by Elizabeth before dawn. He helped her to the nursery, where she kissed the still sleeping Anne and Henry. He thought it odd that she insisted they be woken up.

He remembered watching her stroke their cheeks and hug them tight, as she promised that soon they would meet their new brother or sister. Then he escorted his wife to the birth room, and called for Mrs. Montgomery, the midwife.

By lunch time, he was in full panic mode. He paced the halls waiting for any information. Women came and went all looking grave, and no news was imparted. At some point he settled in chair near the birth room, but it was unnaturally quiet. Finally, Jane came out of the room.

"I think she would want you to come," was all she said, and that terrified him more than anything.

As, he entered the room no one took any notice of him, which was startling in and of its self. When his eyes fell on hers, they were closed and he thought the worst. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered a baby crying, but he couldn't stop looking at her.

Her eyes fluttered and he was at her side in an instant. Relief rushed through him and he gently moved to hold her. She was shivering, though the room was almost too warm. He remembered late nights with her snuggled to his chest complementing him on his ability to radiate heat, so he did all he could to try and cease her shivering.

As the shivering slowed, she seemed to take in her surroundings and began to panic anew. She tried to push him away, telling him that his son needed him, that she needed their son. Thankfully, Mrs. Montgomery was already walking toward them baby in her arms and he was careful as he helped her hold the squalling infant for the first time.

It wasn't until later that someone told him how close he had come to losing them both. That was the day he decided that they were done having children. His wife was too precious, to risk.

Still, it was hard for him not to give into his wife one of the few things he knew she truly desired.

"If it would make you happy, we could try again," he said quietly.

Elizabeth looked up in surprise. Her husband did not make foolish decisions. That was one of the reason she loved him. He was steady. When she wanted to fly off the handle, he could always be counted on to level her. Now, he was openly letting her have something against his better judgment, and her heart melted at his generosity.

"No, it was only a silly fantasy. I would rather raise the three we have, than let someone else raise our four," she said resolutely. She did not miss his sigh in relief.

"I do miss having a baby in the house though," William commented, sitting down next to his wife and taking a tiny bonnet from the chest.

"Well, then we should just tell Lydia to stay forever," she teased.

"Perish the thought!" he replied in mock horror. "As much as Lydia's children have grown on me, I will be happy when they are happily in their new home, and this house is just a little quieter."

"Now where is the fun in that?" Elizabeth teased, turning to give her husband a much deserved kiss.