A/N: Hi everyone :) So, after all these spoilers and that picture for "Berlin", my Tiva feels got the best of me and I just HAD to write this :) I hope you enjoy! :) Summary: "I'm always doubting myself when it comes to you, Ziva.
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters blabla :D We already knew that, now didn't we?! :D Enjoy reading! :)
"Look, Ziva, I know you're uncomfortable with this but please just trust me, okay?", Tony whispered to her. They were currently at sort of a club in Berlin. It was pretty formal though and they were dancing to a very slow song at the moment.
The men were all wearing a tux and the women were dressed up as well. However, Tony didn't really pay attention to all the dresses. His eyes were fixed on the woman in his arms.
"I do trust you, Tony. It's just..I feel like we're betraying Gibbs and the team and..", Ziva replied, then quietly added: "What if they don't want us once we're back home? What if they're too angry?"
Without really thinking about it he pulled her in a little closer. He felt her tense but she quickly relaxed. He could almost feel her guard going down in that second.
"Ziva, don't worry about that, okay?! It's gonna be alright. I promise you. At lo levad.", he assured her. She smiled up at him but he could tell from the look in her eyes that she was still worried and he hated to see her like that.
Two days ago they'd left Washington without a word. They hadn't even told Gibbs where they were going and that they were going in the first place. Yesterday they'd landed in Berlin due to freaking time zones.
Bodnar was supposed to be at this club tonight, so they were here as well. Tony really didn't like the idea of Ziva getting revenge but at least she'd agreed that he could come with her, protect her.
"You know that I'm glad you're here with me, right?", Ziva suddenly asked, startling him completely. "Um, well, not really but thanks, I guess.", he stammered and really hated himself for how insecure and weird it sounded.
She chuckled a little and her hand on his arm moved to his shoulder. That simple touch alone send shivers down his spine. Man, the effect she was having on him. Her expression quickly got serious again.
"Don't doubt yourself, Tony.", she told him quietly, her voice just barely above a whisper. He sighed and blurted out: "I'm always doubting myself when it comes to you, Ziva, because I feel like no matter what I do, it's not enough."
He didn't really mean for that to get out but now it had and all he could do was pray that it didn't scare her off. The music changed to an even slower song and all the couples on the dance floor just wrapped their arms around each other completely, swaying to the music.
Tony however didn't dare to move his hand away from Ziva's to wrap it around her waist. He wasn't really sure of the reaction he'd get. She hadn't even reacted to the things he said, yet.
But Ziva surprised him by pulling her hand away from his and wrapping both her arms loosely around his neck. He was too shocked to move for a moment but then his instincts kicked in and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her that little bit closer to his body.
He just hoped she wouldn't make a bad move now or else he couldn't really guarantee for the reactions of his body. "It is more than enough, Tony. You are all I really need.", she whispered suddenly.
Tony gulped and stared at her. Did he hear that correctly? Did she really just say that? But what she did next surprised him even more. Her gaze landed on his lips and then moved up to his eyes again and before he even had the chance to say or do anything her lips were on his.
It was the most intense feeling he'd ever felt. Sure, he'd kissed her before but that had been years ago. They were both different now. But God, her lips were still as soft and perfect and he couldn't focus on anything expect the feeling of her lips against his.
Before he was able to react properly and kiss her back like he really wanted to, she broke the kiss. He really didn't know what to say or what to do. It was actually more awkward than he'd ever imagined.
She smiled shyly, her eyes not really meeting his. He really didn't want to ignore this. Not this time. He wanted, no needed, to talk about this with her. They needed to face this, not run away from it.
Just as he was about to open his mouth to say something, he spotted Bodnar in the corner of the room, talking to someone he couldn't quite identify. "Ziva, I'm gonna spin you. Look to the right corner behind you.", he whispered in her ear.
She looked at him confused but nodded. He smiled lovingly at her, trying so very hard to keep up appearances and spun her around. When she fell back into his arms her eyes were wide.
"What's your plan?", he questioned carefully, afraid of her answer. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then she looked up into his eyes. She looked almost scared which did not only surprise him but also had him incredibly worried.
"What do you want me to do, Ziva?", he asked again. "Take me home", she whispered, her voice breaking along with his heart. He knew that she didn't mean DC (or did she?) but the hotel room they were staying in.
However, he was more than surprised that she wanted to go 'home' instead of finally going after Bodnar. She had the chance right now, so why was she not taking it. She was heavily armed.
Bra-holster, tigh-holster, a gun on her back and knives basically all over her body. Not literally, but almost. What was wrong with her? "Ziva, are you sure? I mean, what's wrong? Don't you wanna go after him?", he questioned confused.
"Please, just..take me home, Tony.", she whispered with tears pooling in her eyes. He didn't think about it twice. He dropped his arms from around her waist, allowing her to step out of his embrace.
Then he quickly moved behind her, his arm going around her again and he slowly lead her towards the exit, trying to shield her from Bodnar. If he saw her, this would go down right here and right now.
Once they were outside Tony quickly pulled her around the next corner, then called the taxi service. The entire time his arm was wrapped around her protectively.
Tony closed the door of the hotel room behind them and then quickly followed Ziva over to the bed. It was a very simple hotel room. A bathroom, a TV, a wardrobe, a tabel and a double bed.
Ziva was already sitting on the edge of the bed when he approached her. Tony sat down next to her, their shoulders he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer.
He was literally risking his life with that move but she didn't seem to mind. Instead she just snuggled into his side and placed her hand on his knee. "Thank you for getting me out of there.", she murmured.
He simply nodded, not really sure what to say. "I don't know if I want revenge anymore", she then whispered, catching him completely off guard. This was the last thing he'd expected to hear from her.
"Ziva, this was what you wanted ever since it happened. You have been planning this for months.", he stated carefully. She didn't show any reaction, so he went on: "Where is this coming from? Why are you suddenly questioning your plan?"
"Maybe I realized that there are things that..can't be taken for granted.", she whispered and looked up into his eyes. He swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump forming in his throat.
Was she talking about what had happened between them in the club, seconds before he'd spotted Bodnar? "Do you think we could..call for help? Doesn't the CIA have an office here in Berlin? All I want is for Bodnar to..be taken care of.", she suggested.
"Ziva, are you sure? Because I had this feeling that you needed to avenge your father's death yourself and..", he started but she cut him off: "I'm sure, Tony. I just need to know that he's gone for good, that he won't be haunting me anymore."
Tony nodded, trying to understand what she was saying. "Well, the CIA is stationed in Berlin. I actually have a friend there. I could give him a call if that's what you want.", he offered.
She nodded and he fished his cell phone out of his pocket. He decided that a text message would do. All he had to do was send him the details of the tracking device they'd somehow smuggled into Bodnar's coat and that was it.
He quickly typed the message and then sent it over. Just seconds later his friend replied, thanking him for the information and telling him they'd go find Bodnar just about now.
He'd let him know if they did. Tony turned back to Ziva and put his cell back into his pocket. His arm was still wrapped around her shoulders and she was stilled snuggled tightly into his side.
"He's taken care of.", he assured her and she nodded. Just as he was about to say something else his cell phone rang. Well, that couldn't be the CIA. It had only been one minute.
Not even they were that fast. He quickly pulled his cell out of his pocket and froze when he saw the caller ID. It was Gibbs. He showed the screen to Ziva and felt her tense up.
"Don't.", she said and he stared at her surprised. "Please, Tony, don't answer. Not now.", she pleaded. He gave the screen another look and then stuffed the cell back into his pocket.
It stopped ringing just seconds later and he could almost picture Gibbs freaking out in the bullpen back in DC. "Ziva, are you sure you're okay?", Tony eventually asked, sounding rather worried.
Ziva looked at him for a very long moment and then nodded: "Yes, I am." He knew it was pointless to discuss with her whether she was fine or not. She would never admit that she wasn't.
But then again, he wouldn't either. "You want to talk about what happend in the club, don't you?", Ziva tehn blurted out. "Um, yes, I..I guess I do.", he admitted. She smiled and patted his knee but he could tell that she was nervous as hell.
However, she didn't say anything else but instead leaned over to press her lips to his again. This time he responded, slowly deepening the kiss and cherishing the feel of this kiss.
When they pulled apart they were both grinning like idiots. "Was this what you were talking about? When you said there were things that couldn't be taken for granted?", he asked when he finally found his breath again.
"Not the kiss, no.", she said and his heart dropped. Was this just some sort of comfort for her? Did she feel nothing after all? Before he was able to say anything, she continued: "It was not the kiss, Tony. It was the person who made me change my mind. And my feelings for that person."
He looked into her dark eyes, trying to find the truth and confirmation he was seeking in them. "But most importantly, it was the love that person was showing.", she finally added in a whisper.
He leaned in and this time it was him who kissed her. However, it didn't take long for her to respond. He slowly broke the kiss and looked deep into her chocolate brown eyes.
"I love you, Ziva, I really do.", he said, his voice strained with emotion. A single tear rolled down her cheek and he quickly wiped it away. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear those words from you.", she whispered.
"I love you, too.", she then added with a teary smile. He smiled back at her, trying to fight his own tears and kissed her again. "I'm tired", she said eventually. "You wanna go to bed?", he asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
She nodded and slowly got up. He immediately missed her warmth as he watched her go over to the wardrobe. He got up as well and took his clothes off, leaving only his boxers on.
When he turned around he saw Ziva standing there in one of his shirts, wearing only panties underneath. He swallowed hard as she made her way over to the bed. Tony watched as she settled under the covers and didn't really know what to do.
He wasn't sure where they stood now, what was okay and what wasn't. "You coming or what?", she asked as she turned to look at him. He grinned and hurried over to the other side of the bed, settling under the covers as well.
She snuggled closer to him until her back was touching his bare chest. Instinctively his arm went around her waist to pull her even closer. He used his other hand to brush her hair away from her neck and then pressed a feather light kiss to the newly exposed skin.
"Ani ohev otach", he murmured, his lips brushing her skin. He felt her shiver and smiled to himself. "I love you, too", she whispered back and placed her hand over his on her stomach, intertwining their fingers.
Only moments later her breathing had evened out and he could tell that she was fast asleep. "At lo levad", he whispered into the darkness and pressed another kiss to her neck.
He didn't know what tomorrow would bring, if she would still mean it in the morning. But for now, he really couldn't care less. The woman he loved was in his arms, what more could he want. There certainly was some sort of magic for them in Europe.
A/N: whooo that's rather long :) I really hope you like it! Please leave me a review! Thanks in advance.
Love y'all
~ C.
P.S. The new chapter of "Flash from the past" will probably be up tonight or early tomorrow :)