A/N: Warning for extreme memory loss (and sadness)

The title is taken from The Trapeze Swinger by Iron and Wine, which was what also largely inspired this fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.

"Have you ever been in love?" The question takes Kurt by surprise, and he smiles slightly and nods.

"Just once."

"Tell me about it?" He asks hesitantly, as if not sure if this was an okay thing to ask.

Kurt folds the corner of his magazine and sets it aside, "What do you want to know?" He asks, smiling at him to show he's okay with the topic.

"Everything." He blinks, then smiles sheepishly. "Everything you're comfortable sharing, that is."

Kurt takes a deep breath and smiles a bit, sad and bittersweet. "He was my first love. My one and only. We got together near the end of my junior year of high school-"

"You were high school sweethearts?"

Kurt nods again. "Yeah, we were."

He grins, large and happy. "That's really sweet."

"Yeah, it was...indescribable." Kurt looks down at his hands, twirling the white-gold wedding band around his finger as he talks. "I loved him since the moment I saw him, but it took him a bit longer to realize. We had known each other for a few months before it clicked for him, but when it did...my whole life changed. It was that...epic, earth shattering, life changing kind of romance. He was everything to me since the day I met him. He's still everything to me. Always will be."

They sit quietly for awhile, and Kurt is reaching for his magazine when his voice breaks the silence.

"I was in love once, too." He says suddenly.

Kurt looks up and cocks his head to the side. "Oh yeah?"

"Yep."

"How do you, um…" Kurt closes his eyes for a moment, takes a deep breath. "How do you know?"

He smiles and gives a small shrug. "I just do. I can feel it."

Kurt smiles at him, "Explain?"

"Sometimes, when I'm just sitting or not really doing anything, I have these sort of...flashes. But its not really memories, I don't think, it's just feelings. Like, I'll be listening to music and a certain song will come on, or I'll be drinking coffee or something, and I'm just...struck by these feelings." He smiles a little ruefully. "And I think it must be love, because if it isn't...and I ever do experience what being in love is like...well, I think it might kill me."

Kurt can't help but laugh, even though he feels the familiar sensation of pressure behind his eyes. "Yeah, its definitely a powerful thing."

"That boy you were talking about - the one you loved - you're not...together anymore?" His voice is small and hesitant.

"Um…" Kurt takes a shuddering breath and presses his lips together, blinking rapidly. "Uh, no, I-I guess we're not. Not anymore."

"What happened?"

Kurt's voice is hoarse when he says, "There was - there was an accident."

He closes his eyes and sees it all flashing before him-

-hands clasped together over the console, seeing Blaine look over at him, neither noticing the rapidly approaching headlights-

-sirens, people yelling, and Kurt is screaming, "Blaine, Blaine, Blaine…" -

- "We're sorry, Mr. Hummel-Anderson, you're husband is in a coma and we're not sure when he's going to wake up…" -

-sitting next to Blaine's bed, clutching his limp hand, "Please wake up, Blaine, please. Please please please I need you please wake up please…"-

-the phone ringing at 3am, Kurt expecting the worst, but then "He's awake."-

-barging through Blaine's room door and seeing those eyes that he hasn't seen in months, seeing Blaine, and hearing the words that tipped his world straight back into darkness, "I'm sorry, who are you?" -

- screaming at the nurses, "What is going on, why doesn't he know me, what happened, fix this!"

and the calm, emotionless tone of the nurses, "Mr. Hummel-Anderson, you're husband seems to be experiencing extreme memory loss, and I'm afraid there's nothing we can do for him."

Kurt's whole body wracking with sobs, distraught and desperate, screaming at anyone who will listen, anyone who can hear him. "He'll remember me, he'll remember me, he has to remember me, he will, he know's me, Blaine please, please…" -

-Kurt opens his eyes, a single tear falling down his cheek. "There was an accident, and he-" Kurt chokes on a sob.

"He didn't make it." Its soft, not a question but a statement. Kurt shakes his head.

"No, he...he's alive. He, um...he hit his head really hard, in the accident, and he...doesn't remember me."

"Oh." A silence, then, "I'm sorry, Kurt. That must be really hard for you."

Kurt laughs, but its choked and bitter. "Yeah, it's been indescribably tough." But that doesn't begin to cut it, what its been like, but he can't say it out loud, can't say what he's feeling out loud. Somedays I feel like I can't go on so I'll just sit at home by myself and I just replay what happened in my head over and over, hating myself. I could have changed this, I could have saved him. I should have been more careful, I should have noticed the car, if only I had been smart enough to swerve out of the way he would still be with me, I'm sorry, Blaine.

Kurt needs to leave, needs to get out of there. He starts packing his things together, and turns to look at him, puts on his best smile, and says, "I believe I should be going!"

"Okay." His voice is sad, but he smiles anyway. "You'll be back tomorrow?"

Kurt nods, clears his throat, says quietly, "Of course."

He makes it to the door and is about to exit when he hears, "Kurt, I know this is probably not the right thing to say, but…" Kurt turns back to look at him, watches as he swallows and drags his eyes up to meet Kurt's. "I don't really, um, get how your husband could forget you. You're...you are pretty unforgettable, in my opinion."

And Kurt can't hold back anymore, its like a dam breaking, and the tears are flowing, fast, so fast. "Thank you." It comes out as a whisper, "I'll see you tomorrow, Blaine."

Then he goes quickly, leaving his life behind in a hospital bed.

If you would take a minute to tell me what you think, that would be largely appreciated. This was very hard to write and I'm not quite sure what to think of it.

My tumblr is skippingcharade and is linked in my profile if anyone is interested in that sort of thing, its basically a Klaine/Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson/Chris Colfer/Darren Criss/Quinn Fabray/Dianna Agron shrine! :)