"No, no, no, no, don't be stupid, Steve. Rule number one: You do not give fangirls your number," said Tony, patiently. Steve was a furious shade of red, arms folded stubbornly. Clint had his head down on the counter, shaking with laughter, Bruce was doing his best to keep a straight face, and even Natasha had raised an eyebrow, amused. Lately the Avengers had taken to showing Steve around town, teaching him things, like how a credit card worked and the best places to get cell reception. On this particular trip they'd been recognized by a group of teenage girls, one of whom had been smart enough to ask Steve for his number without embarrassing him.

"You're the one who keeps saying that I should date," he pointed out. "And I thought we were at Rule number thirty-six?"

"You don't understand. Fangirls aren't human. They're evil, shrieking harpies. And I'm too lazy to bother with numbers. If you're going to date, date someone like Natasha," said Tony.

Clint made a choking sound and abruptly stopped laughing. Natasha's other eyebrow went up.

"Except not Natasha, because you'll take an arrow to the knee and then Natasha will kick your ass," Tony amended hastily. "I mean someone gorgeous and strong who understands you, like your own personal Pepper."

Clint snickered, but was silenced by a pointed look from Natasha.

This was the moment when Pepper chose to walk in.

"I really hope that wasn't an innuendo, Tony," she said, mildly. Tony smiled uneasily.

"I was just telling Steve he should date someone as amazing as you," he said.

Pepper nodded and smiled.

"Is that so?" she said, innocently.

"Yeah! Yeah! Come on, Steve, help me out!"

Steve's face took on an angelic look.

"I don't like lying," he said, sweetly.

Tony shrank under Pepper's accusing gaze.

"Tony's telling the truth," said Bruce, helpfully. Clint nodded, backing him up.

Pepper took a breath and let it slide.

"Okay. What's all the yelling about?"

"Steve gave his number to a fangirl," said Tony, pointing at him.

"Tony's being rude," said Steve.

"Tony, you sleep with fangirls. Regularly. Don't be a hypocrite," said Pepper

"I slept with fangirls. Past tense, okay? Jeez."

Pepper took another deep breath.

"What are the rules about fighting, Tony?"

"Be nice, compromise, try to understand the other person's side," Tony mumbled, reluctantly.

Pepper nodded and smiled again. Tony sighed.

"Fine. Steve," Tony leaned forward in his chair and folded his hands earnestly. "I understand that you're an idiot. However, we can still work this out." His voice was dripping with sarcastic niceness. Pepper threw her hands up.

"Okay. I give up. Have at it, boys."

Tony grinned.

"Mind out of the gutter, Tony," said Natasha.

"WHY ARE YOU ALL GANGING UP ON ME?" Tony whined.

"Because you're annoying," said Natasha, bluntly.

"Fine. I'm not speaking to you. Any of you."

He flounced out, indignantly, slapping a paper upside-down on the chair he was sitting in.

"That was odd," said Bruce. "He was being a bit...too immature."

Tony walked back in.

"Hi, guys, what's up? Hey, Pepper."

Clint laughed.

"That didn't take very long."

Tony gave him an odd look.

"Clint, I've been in my workshop for the last, uh... two hours? Three? Since lunch, anyway."

"Tony, you were with us when we took Steve out for an educational trip," said Bruce, slowly.

There was a long silence before Natasha suddenly reached out and grabbed the paper, flipping it over. On the flipside, in printed black letters, there was one word.

Loki'd!