Short two-shot. Please enjoy! Warnings: Thilbo, Fili/Kili, and Dwalin/Ori

"Hey, Kili!" Fili shouted from his seat in between Bofur and Nori. "Bring us another ale!"

Kili muttered under his breath as he stood to fetch his brother more ale. Bilbo glanced at the brunette dwarf as they stomped towards the barrel of ale; the young heir's behavior had Bilbo wondering if he and Fili had fought. When Kili returned, balancing three pints in his hand, he slammed the first pint exactly in front of Fili. Bilbo flinched at the sound the drink made when it hit the table, but Fili didn't seem to care; he was already too drunk to understand what Kili was trying to show him. After Kili gave Nori and Bofur theirs, he plopped back into his seat beside Bilbo and Ori, both of whom had curious expressions on their faces.

"Stupid dwarf," Kili muttered, glaring at Fili who guzzled down the ale in nearly one breath.

Bilbo sighed. The dwarfs of Erebor were celebrating their second anniversary in reclaiming the mountain from Smaug the Dragon, and now, the ten dwarfs were drinking as much ale as their stomachs could hold. The hobbit cringed at how much the dwarfs drank. Dwalin, Thorin, and Fili were all working on their fifth pint, while Nori, Bofur, and Dori held their second. Bombur had stuck with one pint, and Oin, Gloin, Balin only drank half of one. Bilbo, himself, hated the taste of just alcohol alone; he couldn't see how these dwarfs could drink ale... five pints to say the least. All Bilbo knew was that he would not be kissing his king tonight; just the thought of kissing Thorin's hot, ale breath had the hobbit gagging.

"What are we going to do?" Ori asked when Dwalin and Fili got into an argument on who could drink more ales than the other.

"We?" Kili snorted, leaning back into his chair. "There is no we."

Bilbo huffed. "Just because you and your brother had a fight, doesn't mean you get to take your anger out on us!"

Kili glared menacingly at the hobbit who stood his ground.

"If it hasn't crossed your fluff-headed mind," Bilbo said, getting up from his seat. "I have been the King's Consort for two years; I know what it is like to be with a dwarf. Ori does too."

Ori sputtered for a mere minute before throwing his hands up in the air and resting against the back of his chair. "Fine," he said, defeated.

The young heir narrowed his eyes at Bilbo before the hobbit started walking back towards his and Thorin's chambers, not really wanting to stay if the other dwarfs kept drinking; he had had plenty of experience there. On his way out of the dining hall, Bilbo had caught Thorin's blue eyes though the dwarf king couldn't really focus on his face; the ale clouding his senses. Sighing again, Bilbo left the room quietly.

Kili, meanwhile, huffed and huffed at Bilbo and his brother for several minutes before the anger slowly left him. He stood and went in search of Bilbo. Ori, not wanting to be left alone, followed the young dwarf into the halls of Erebor.

Bilbo fell backwards onto the soft bed and closed his eyes for about two seconds before a knock came from the door. Groaning, he stood and flung the door open. "What?" he asked harshly, glowering at Kili. "Come to avenge your ego?"

Kili shook his head, hiding a small smirk. "Nope, dear Uncle Bilbo," he said fondly. "I have come because I want to get back at Fili for what he did."

"Oh?" Bilbo asked, stepping aside to let the two dwarfs enter. "And Ori?"

"Dwalin said some pretty harsh words to him a couple of days ago," Kili shrugged, and then ducked when Ori punched him. "Alright. Maybe nothing happened. Could you just go along with it?"

"No," Ori answered. "No, I can't. But I am interested in whatever you are going to do to Fili."

"Really?" Kili asked, facing the young scholar. "Bilbo? You in?"

Bilbo thought about it for a minute or two. Thorin had been busy running the kingdom, and he, himself, had small chores here and there throughout the library and their chambers. But they really hadn't spent 'alone' time together (just the casual walks together or the small kind gestures when they saw each other, but nothing serious)... maybe that was a good enough reason to punish Thorin... or whatever Kili was planning. "Alright," he agreed. "What's the plan?"