AN – I am so sorry it has taken me so long and forever to update. This last year I have had alot of personal issues which has taken me away from all of this. I can't promise I will have anything written, but I had two chapters sitting, this one I apologise in advance if there are errors etc. But thought I would post it. Enjoy

CHAPTER 35

Date night

Friday 22nd June 2012

We landed back in Seattle during the early hours, dawn fast approaching whilst Dad drove us home. I felt more at ease, driving back to Forks, taking the edge out of what I was feeling, I wondered if it was because I was going to back to what I knew, or if it was because Jacob was here and being apart from him, this time without subterfuge on our part or being kidnapped. I was nervous as I knew tonight he was taking me out on a date. Mom had shown me the message as my phone had died, that I was to be ready for seven pm. Tomorrow was going to be busy as I had to go to Port Angeles to get fitted for netminder kit and goalie skates for the new upcoming ice hockey venture that we were going to be taking on. I was excited and nervous about that.

I was also a little sad that my best friend wasn't here, I hadn't heard any updates, and I know it had only been a few days; I had wanted to speak to Alice, I knew the vision of Lottie and Felix has passed but I also wanted to see if she wanted me to try and regress her human memories. Question is, would she want that?

"Are you ok honey?" Mom turned from her passenger seat to face me.

I didn't realise but I was staring out into the thick forest that coveted the roads, I turned my head to face her. "Yeah, I am just thinking."

"As long as you are sure. What do you want to do when we get home?"

I glanced at Dad through the rear-view mirror as he was driving, my eyes flickering back to Mom's. "I would like to see Alice."

"I am sure she would love to see you honey."

I closed my eyes.

Next thing I knew I was being lifted out the car by my Father. "Hey sweetheart," he said softly. "We are at the main house." I blinked and it had been a while since I had been here, at least a few weeks since everything had happened. Because I was avoiding Emmett. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes again and Dad set me down and I stared at what was my first home. "If you don't to go inside..."

"It's fine Dad. I am just waking up," I smiled half heartedly. I was hoping Jacob would have been here.

"He will be tonight. He wants to come and get you at seven," Dad popped the trunk to take our bags out.

"Oh, I thought he would have been here."

"I think he would have been, but you wanted to do all of this properly," Dad reminded me. I must have replayed the last scene with Jacob in my head a million times when I was away with them. "And he has a living to make too."

"Oh!"

"What?" Dad looked at me.

"Rebecca. I never asked," god that makes me a bad person, I reprimanded myself.

"No it doesn't Nessie. Just preoccupied, and Jacob will explain all of that to you when he is ready," he moved to climb the set of stairs to the large white house.

I followed but stopped at the bottom step. "It feels like it was back at the beginning, when Jacob took me on our first date. Like all the stuff that happened...hasn't."

"It will, it has nearly been a month since you both went to New York-"

"Feels like a lifetime."

"I know. Just let things run their course."

"Is that the advice you have to offer?" I chuckled.

"Pretty much," Dad smiled his crooked grin. "Had your mother done that when she was human, well she did really, but she did it to rescue me. And again when Victoria and Riley nearly killed me. So really, you were born with it."

"So I am damned."

"Pretty much," Dad laughed, repeating himself. "There are days when you are all your mother, then there are days when you are all me. Come on, there are people in there that want to see you."

I followed Dad as he opened the door. I looked down at my muddy converse and my grass stained skinny jeans. I actually could do with a shower, there was only so much baby wipes could do. I closed the door behind me and there she was, enveloping me in her tiny arms. "Oh Nessie, I missed your face."

"I missed you to Alice!" I grabbed her, squeezing her hard body into mine.

"You smell of human and jungle."

"That's cos I am half human and I was in the jungle," I could help but giggle as Alice was infectious. "I have some questions for you."

"I know," Alice winked. "Go say hi to everyone first."

I don't know if I set Alice down or she set me down but I was in my Grandfathers arm's next and I immediately felt more at ease. He stroked my dirty hair, placing a kiss on the top of my head. "I am happy to see you," he squeezed me gently.

"I am happy to see you too," I hugged him back hard.

I was passed to Esme who, for a moment was not going to let me go, then to Rose, who's nose wrinkled at the smell, "You are going for a shower in five minutes Nessie," she warned, it wasn't a request either.

I was then in the big burly arms of Uncle Emmett, my feet not touching the ground. "Missed you midget."

I hugged him back. "I missed you too." When I was finally back onto the floor I peered around. It was odd not having Jasper here, even if he was usually in the background, but he was always here. "I know, it's weird he isn't here," Emmett said.

"But he has done the right thing."

"Yeah, I wish I sorted things."

"I bet Keith feels the same."

"I know he does. We have been hanging out you know. He is at a bit of a loose end."

"I'm surprised he hasn't just gone wolf by now, that's what Jacob did," Rose reminded everyone as insensitive as that was, as he was in love with my mother at the time, something I did not need reminding. I looked over at Dad who hissed at Rose, it was enough to make her look away at least.

"Thanks Rose, thanks for that," my smile faded.

"Sorry," Rose looked down. "Emmett has been keeping him busy, the wolf is getting bigger."

I started to scratch at my head, my hair being long overdue a wash and I wanted to get out of this conversation. "Rose, can I use your shower please?"

"Of course, there are spare clothes for you here too, they are in my closet, help yourself," she smiled.

I raced upstairs and got the shower going. I stripped out of my dirty clothes and I knew that Rose was just going to throw them away so I dumped them for her on the floor. Why was a comment like that bothering me?

Because it was before me?

Possibly...

Or because he loved someone else first, regardless of who it was. But was that real love? To Jacob, at the time it was. Or was it purely because at some point he would have imprinted on a daughter that Mom could have had had she been human.

Urgh. I didn't want to think about this anymore. It made my brain ache. Maybe I was being oversensitive because I was seeing him properly for the first time tonight, and I was a little nervous. I heard the door to Rose's bedroom click open and shut and I could smell Alice. I stepped into the shower, the hot water relaxing me slightly, putting my head under the jets, closing my eyes for a moment.

Why was I really nervous? We left things at a good place before we left. Maybe I would figure it out later. I looked down at the water pooling around my feet. "Ew," it was brown with dirt from my hair and body. I reached over to Rose's most expensive shampoo and dumped a quarter of it onto my head.

Once I was showered and shaved where I needed to shave, I wrapped my nice clean hair in a towel, and wrapped another one around me. I walked out the steaming room to see Alice sitting crossed legged on Rose's bed, her eyes elsewhere. Her amber eyes refocused on me and she smiled at me as I started to speak, Alice interrupting me before I could do so. "I know you want to know what is going on with Jasper and Lottie."

I moved to sit next to her and I could see she had a tangle teaser in her hand, she made a turning motion with her hand and my hair was out the towel as she went to work. "I do. I want to know that she is ok."

"She is, I promise you that. I have been asked not to say anymore."

"By Jasper?"

"No, by Lottie. I know what will happen in the next few weeks, what they are both doing, what they may or may not achieve. Who they will meet along the way, but she will be different when she comes back, whether we like it or not, that is a certainty."

"Different good? Or different bad?"

"Mmmm... that is hard to answer. She will be in peak physical condition, if Jazz has his way, which means physically..."

"I am lost Alice, can you stop being obtuse."

She tugged on my hair slightly. "I am respecting her wishes. However Jasper is not going to let her sit about and do nothing. She will miss the intensive skating that you are going to be attending soon, she has already communicated with the coaches about this and Jazz has already arranged something for her which I believe has already started. They have to move about from place to place as they are being tracked, and not just by Volturi. There are others out there like her, more developed than she is, or less, that work for...organisations. She is a hot commodity."

"Other people? Human?"

"Oh yes. Very much so, and not every human is nice," Alice finished untangling my hair and retrieved a hairdryer. She stopped for a moment, her eyes elsewhere as a vision overtook her. I gave her a moment and I could see the corner of her mouth twitch then she smiled. Alice would tell me if it were important so I decided not to ask. She came back with the hairdryer, starting it up whilst talking normally to me. "There are humans that are extra special as we know. Some work for specialised units that help retrieve these people. Some are on their own. Evolution has taken place somewhere down the line where these skills are more prominent now than say when I was human. Back in the day the Volturi, as you know with Alec and Jane, knew when a human had a talent. There are people that would want to use people with talents like Lottie, or Jane if she were human to their advantage, there are people that want to help others; Lottie is with the right people. Us. We would never take advantage of her; we would never use her for our own gain. We would lose her forever if she fell into wrong hands, be it a specialised agency or the Volturi. Same would go for you."

"Do you think that there are humans, like say, the FBI knows about vampires?"

"I would say so, but deep rooted. If the Volturi knew, they would either use it to their advantage or wipe them out."

I sat for moment, absorbing this information in. It wasn't just Lottie that was vulnerable, it was me too. Ultimately I can pass for being human; someone could mistake me as being nearly indestructible with super human speed rather than being half vampire. Lottie was in safe hands, if she wanted to contact me, she would, if she didn't want me to pry, then I wasn't going to pry. But I had one more question. "How is Jasper managing to hunt?"

"That's easy," Alice chuckled. "We have bags of donated animal blood sent to him. Not as nice but it is doing the job. She is at too much risk if he were to take her hunting, so he thinks; I think they would both be fine."

Alice finished off drying my hair, letting it fall naturally in a centre parting. She then dashed over to the dresser to get a few items, then she started to braid my hair, "You will need to sleep between now and five because you won't last on your date otherwise. And there is something you wanted to ask me."

I got up from the floor and sat next to her, my mind blank for a moment then it dawned on me. "When I was in the jungle, I was able to access Dad's human memories. I could also access Zafrina's." I shuddered at hers. "I wondered if you wanted me to do the same with you?"

Alice smiled at me, taking my hand. "The thought is so touching. I know my history now, in regards to who changed me and to why, and why I was put into the asylum, but my human memories, my last ones will not make for pleasant viewing, and I, do not want to view them. Asylums back then...their methods of curing people, were barbaric. I do not want you to see that and I do not want to relive it. Like I said before, not every human is nice."

"Oh."

"Don't think I am not grateful, I truly am and I think that this is a wonderful evolution of your gift, for me, those memories are best left in the past," she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "I do think Emmett would love for you to relive his days with that bear," she chuckled.

"Oh now I don't know if I could stomach that," Alice blinked at me. "Not the bear part, being in Emmett's brain. I could get lost."

We looked at each other and dissolved into a fit of laughter.

I blinked, opening my eyes, peering over to the clock as it read six pm. I had fallen asleep on Rose's bed and I must have just been left. I had been jetlagged and shortly after our conversation, Alice left me in Rose's room to sleep. I looked over to see clothes draped over the dresser chair, with shoes and a bag.

I was disappointed that Alice did not want to see if we could bring back her human memories, however, it was a decision I had to respect. It would have been interesting, and although Alice knew the facts of what happened; knowing and reliving it again for the 'first time' would have not been a pleasant experience.

I felt the top of my head, Alice had left the braids in; I had two French braids either side of my centre parting, this was to make my hair wavy for my date. I was planning on dressing smart/casual; I had butterflies in my stomach thinking about it. I was also hungry but decided to wait so that I could eat properly on our date.

Crap, my date was in an hour! I rushed up and to Rose's bathroom. I quickly refreshed myself, splashing water on my face, brushing my teeth, putting on moisturiser, deodorant. I went back to the dresser and applied make up; some light foundation, mascara, blusher and I decided to use the pink lip stick that Rose had left out, I knew she would not have minded.

I looked at the clothing laid out for me. There was a deep blue bra and panties, matching of course, with a top. I picked up the top and there was nothing else; I thought that was odd. I put it on to see it was actually more like a tunic and it sat mid thigh, the tunic was made of up different colour blue patchwork style prints, which gathered underneath my bust and flared out. With long sleeves. When I caught myself in the mirror I looked quite nice; it had a sixties feel to it.

The shoes; a good job I can walk in this type of shoe, which were Christian Louboutin, black glitter with different colours, with a gold thin heel. And the red sole of course! I picked up the matching sequin bag. I noticed there was no jewellery so I decided to forgo it for now. I had taken off my engagement ring prior to leaving as I hadn't want to lose it, but I was yet to put it back on. I wondered if Jacob would be bothered about it. We had a lot to talk about but I was so nervous. I peered at the clock…. 1845! I needed to sort out my hair. I slipped my feet into the beautiful shoes, popped the lipstick and my freshly charged phone into the bag, I could feel something inside it; a condom! I blushed knowing Alice put it in there; I don't think that would be happening, Jacob had made it quite clear that he was not ready for that.

I found the big mirror again and untied the braids from my hair, only took me a minute as I ran my fingers through it. My hair cascaded down my back like waves and I decided to leave it like that.

I felt Jacob's presence before I could hear the car pull up into the drive. My stomach was now in knots; why was I feeling like this? I felt like I had gone back to the beginning. I took a deep breath. Man up Renesmee! Seriously! This is your fiancé and he is taking me out on a date, I made a face at myself in the mirror.

There were three hard knocks to the door and it was opened within a second, I could hear him being greeted by Dad and Mom, I could hear Carlisle but no one else. I took another deep breath, opening the bedroom door and I could smell him as his scent trickled its way upstairs. I found the stairs and gripping onto the banister, I descended, and keeping my eyes down, making sure each foot caught each step so I didn't stumble down them.

I heard Jacob's breath hitch and I knew he was looking at me, I could feel him looking at me; the butterflies in my stomach turned into powerful birds taking flight. I reached the bottom step and tried to regain my composure. I looked up into the beautiful dark eyes of Jacob Black. The electricity between us magnified as he stared right back at me. I drank him all in; he was wearing a black shirt which made his skin luminous, he teamed it with a grey waistcoat and dark indigo jeans and timberland dressy boots. He was also smart/casual. I could smell his perfume and I had to restrain my thoughts; Dad was right there. "Hey Nessie, you look stunning," he said quietly, I could see the heat rise in his face as he complimented me; I reckoned he was having naughty thoughts of his own.

The sound of his voice was sending currents right through me.

I glanced at Dad and he was rolling his eyes. "Ok you two, please leave, as I am sure it is possible for vampire mind readers to have a bleed on the brain with what you are both thinking."

Carlisle burst out laughing; Mom quickly elbowed him to make him stop. Dad had a look of distain on his face and I wasn't even sorry. I stuck my tongue out at him, walked by and out of the front door, I could feel Jacob behind me. I had wondered if he thought that I was going to wait for him to take the lead but I was at the passenger side door, opening it myself and got in, making sure that I pulled the tunic down so I wasn't exposing too much thigh, but enough to get his attention.

Jacob opened his door, slid in, starting the engine. "I would have got the door," he said quietly.

"I know," I replied. "Just Dad having his embarrassing Dad moment."

"They are allowed you know," he smirked. I stared at his smile, the first genuine one that I had seen in weeks. How each corner lifted, making his eyes smile and twinkle, showing his beautiful white teeth against his russet coloured skin. Jacob took off down the drive and I put my seatbelt on. The electricity between us was very palpable and the gap between us felt too much. I had wanted to reach out but part of me didn't. "How was your break?" he kept his eyes on the darkening road.

"It was amazing. I was able to push into Dad's human memories. I had never tried it before, and he got to relive them with me."

"What do you mean 'push into'?"

"He has hazy human memories, which means they are there, but are so far underwater, so to speak, that he cannot truly see them. I was able to get past that and essentially take him with me."

Jacob whistled. "That's... that's truly astonishing. Another string to your bow."

"I got to see my paternal grandmother. It was like seeing parts of Dad, parts of me in her, it was odd. Then I did it with Zafrina and basically watched her being raped and sacrificed; it was awful."

Jacob pulled a face. "I don't know ... what to say to that."

"It wasn't pleasant. What have you been up to?"

"Working honey," hearing him say this made my heart skip a beat. "Keeping myself busy. I really missed you."

"I have missed you for a whole month."

"I know, I have been too harsh. And I have said sorry and I will say it again, I am very sorry," he peered at me quickly whilst trying to concentrate on the road. "And I know you are sorry, and I know Lottie is as well. As far as I am concerned I want to be done with it. I want us to be back together properly."

It was what I needed to hear and I already knew this but still I breathed a sigh of relief. "And what about Lottie?"

"She is allowed back to the res. I shouldn't have done that. Esme has given me a stern talking to. So has Dad."

"Billy?"

"Yes, he said you should be allowed to make mistakes, and although what you did was reckless, the punishment was too much. Keith is in bits. And I don't know if I will honestly fix the fracture that Lottie and I have. I hope to god she gets back with Keith, I don't know how he will handle it if, if-"

"If she asks him to be nothing more than friends," I finished. "Do you think it is even possible?"

"I don't know. But for her to be able to leave like that, her mind is strong, maybe stronger than the tie she has with Keith. I would like to hope not. But then he is stuck in limbo whilst she can move on. Our bond is meant to be the one and only string we have, nothing else truly matters, could she switch that off?"

"I don't think she could, I saw what this did to her, and it broke her."

"I know."

"It nearly broke me," I turned to look out the window; I was determined not to cry.

"I know," he whispered. "There is nothing I can do now, that can change that but what I can do is make things between us better. Starting with our date."

I turned my head and I could see he wanted to lean over and place his hand on mine that was resting on my thigh. I wanted him to make the first move. I didn't have it in me, especially as he hasn't been ready since we lost the baby.

Jacob put his hand back on the steering wheel. "So," I decided to change the subject. "How is Rebecca?"

Jacob smiled again. "Oh much better. She is coming home next week. She will be staying on the reservation with Dad, I can't tell her about the pack just yet, she is still so fragile however I will tell her in time. She is like a different person. Therapy, medication and time has helped her so much. She can't wait to meet you."

"Wow, I am so happy for her, has her husband made any contact?"

"Ex husband now. Alice managed to get the divorce through very quickly, allowing Becky to sever all ties. She has been left with nothing, but it is better than what she had before. And I won't see her without a penny. Vail has tried to contact the house. What you don't know, is that he sent two henchmen to the house and Dad was by himself. Well, Dad had a gun. And now one of them has a shattered leg. He was dumped over the state line."

"What!" I stared at him in horror. "When did this happen?"

"Two weeks ago. It happened very quickly, and Dad might be older but he is fast. He hasn't sent any more as far as we can tell, I think he got the message."

"But," I was waiting for rest.

"I don't personally think it's over. I just know it. Rebecca is in a secure mental facility, under an alias, he has no idea she is there. She has cut all her hair off, she has put on weight, and her physical scars are healing. She knows what happened, we haven't hidden that from her, however it means I have installed a panic button and where the basement is underneath the hallway, I have actually made a tunnel system if they needed to escape. Billy can walk, just not too far but he could get himself into that tunnel and out the other end. There is a wheelchair under tarp, and it looks like an old boat is there. Rebecca would help and there is always a wolf close by. I wanted them to move into the house with me but Dad said no. So I made an escape route for them," Jacob hesitated. "I had some spare time and energy," he looked sheepish.

I nodded. Streetlights washed over me as we arrived in Port Angeles. "Is their house safe, if you have had to build a tunnel underneath? What about the foundations?"

"Its fine, Sam, Jared and Paul have helped out, they know more about this than we do. And they have done the same with their houses, just in case. It's not like the houses on the res are big enough for panic rooms, but they all know the forest well and have made sure that at the end of each tunnel there is backpack, map, food, water and location point to go to with an emergency phone."

"You are really worried he comes back?"

"Yes, I want to be prepared, without alarming Becky too much, but also making sure she can get away safely."

"I don't know if he is that stupid."

"I took something that he thinks belongs to him, away from him. He will not let that slide, I know I wouldn't." I shuddered at Jacob's words and he noticed. "What?" he frowned as he pulled into a parking space outside a restaurant.

I made a face, unsure how I was going to explain it. "Before I left, Alice showed me what was happening to Lottie and Jasper." Jacob pulled the button to apply the handbrake and he kept silent. "Felix will take her if he ever gets her alone."

"How, do you know this?"

"Dad showed me, well his memory of seeing Alice have a vision; it's already happened. I can show you?"

Jacob was now serious, no humour to his face as he reached out his hand to me, palm up. This was going to be the first proper contact I had and I was nervous but excited. I reached out, my fingers touching the palm of his hand and Jacob gulped at the contact. I slowly moved them so that I was now clasping his hand, electricity coursing through me and I could feel that sensation down in my groin. Jacob closed his eyes. This had affected him just as much as it was me. I started with the plane memory then the memory of the graveyard. When it was over I went to take my hand back but Jacob gripped it tight. "I missed this."

"Me too," I replied.

Jacob stared at our hands. "You haven't got your engagement ring on."

"I took it off before we left, I didn't want to lose it, I haven't been back to the cottage yet," I said quickly.

"Ok," Jacob accepted my reason. "And yes, we need to sort things out. My fear is that Lottie closes herself off from Keith." He sighed. "This is something that Keith and I have discussed. When Lottie put her shield up, particularly over the last few days before she left, he couldn't feel her. He didn't know at the time what it meant, the feeling he was getting about it, but now, it is like the shield she creates cuts him off from her. The imprints are tied to each other in ways we cannot understand, but if Lottie can shield herself physically and mentally, we think she is able to cut herself off from that tie as well. It is only a thought, but Keith knew that there was something wrong especially after she had left."

"Oh I seriously hope she doesn't do that. But –"

"But what?"

"If she knows this, there is every possibility that she would do it to protect herself from being hurt even further."

"And that has been our fault."

I looked down at our hands, like they had never been apart. "And hers too, hopefully it doesn't come to that."

Jacob nodded. "Shall we go eat?"

I peeked up through my lashes. "Thought you would never ask," I grinned, my stomach churning in response.

I laughed as Jacob told me the tale of Paul colliding with a rock whilst fighting Jared. "I swear he fractured his skull!"

"Goodness, I am surprised there is anything left up there."

"Me too," Jacob finished his soda and he motioned to the waitress. "Are you happy to go?"

I nodded. Jacob reached into his pocket and laid a number of bills on the table without even checking to see if he needed change. He got up from his seat, taking my hand in his as we left the restaurant and this time he got the car door before I did, opening it and I got in.

Jacob drove and we stayed silent for the time being. This evening had been wonderful; it was like the last month had never happened. Conversation flowed easier after getting the awkwardness out of the way. I had missed this. "Thank you Jacob."

Jacob started the car. "No need to thank me," I could see him redden a little. "It's nice just not having to worry about money, being able to make sure that you are taken care of, that my family are taken care of."

"I know...I know that I have nothing to bring to the table," I started, but Jacob interrupted me.

"It doesn't matter to me Nessie. It really doesn't. I don't care if you never work or if you do, it's just you I want. Nothing else. You bring yourself to the table."

"But, I will have to ask you for money when we are married, and I don't know if I am comfortable with that."

"Do you seriously think, that your Father would just ship you out to me with nothing," he rolled his eyes. "Edward and Alice will have you set for life, just as much as they helped me, and all the other wolves. The reservation is thriving as we have been able to give back to our community."

"But I haven't earned it."

"But you are going to go to Uni. Is it still midwifery you are looking at?" I nodded my head. "You are going to learn a valuable skill. There are plenty of rich kids out there that do fuck all because they can. You are going to help people Ness, because you can. You are going to matter in this world, you could choose to do nothing, but you are not. So you do bring something to the table."

I nodded. However I didn't feel convinced. I decided to change the subject. "How are you going to tell Rebecca, about...all of this?"

"That I don't know. I can't do what I did to Charlie, it would freak her the fuck out. But I can start with the old tribal history. I can take it from there. I would need Carlisle with me, as he can explain better about vampires. And how you came about. She will either accept it or it will set her back. I will judge it when the time is right. Familiar trees were passing us as we drove back to Forks and Jacob kept a hold of my hand the entire time. It was like he didn't want to let me go and I didn't want him to. "You have to go and get your kit tomorrow?"

"Oh yeah, yes I do. I get fitted for it, and we start lessons soon, they have us pencilled in for 16th July but I think some of us who have never skated before would like to just get a head start."

"I don't think that's a bad thing. The sooner you all have the basics the sooner you can start drills and plays. I like watching NHL."

"Yeah, and it will be faster as well. I will certainly be challenged on it anyway."

"What will Lottie do, if she misses that?"

"Jasper has sorted something out for her, he has connections apparently."

"I think we will find out more tomorrow. We are meeting Perry who is the coach, tomorrow whilst we get fitted for everything. He has to sign off on what he gives us. He may want us starting sooner."

"And where does that leave Lottie if you guys do?"

"I don't know, she might be in breach of contract. She might have to come back as it jeopardises ours as well. I don't know," I sighed. It would be nice if she came back, it would give her a reason to anyway.

Jacob turned the car into the driveway and I was outside the Cullen house before I knew it. Jacob stopped the car, got out and opened my door. I took his hand as I got out and we slowly made our way into the house; which was oddly quiet. Jacob opened the door. "Hello?" he called out.

There was no reply. There was no movement. Nothing. We were alone and I think that had been deliberate. Jacob had kept a hold of my hand and he was also listening out. Suddenly my arm was pulled and I stumbled into Jacob's arms, his hand letting go of mine as his arms encapsulated me, my arms find their way across Jacob's back, his arms pulled me into his firm chest and I was only an inch from his mouth.

His lips were full, his eyes were dark as he stared down into mine. I had been waiting for this moment for what felt like a life time. He slowly leaned down, one arm around the small of my waist, the other reaching up to caress my face. His lips touch mine very lightly, but they burned. Burning in a good way as they sizzled against mine. My body responded as I kissed him lightly back, then suddenly Jacob breathed in harshly, crushing his lips against mine, trying to take as much of me in as he could, his tongue clashing with mine, and I responded in kind, feeling how warm his tongue was.

He pulled away far too soon.

I opened my eyes to find him staring at me lustfully. I was suddenly aware how hard he was beneath his jeans as my body crushed into his. I knew that that would not be happening today. However I would take what I could get. And if that was just kissing, I was fine with that. Jacob carefully tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear, caressing my face as he did so. He leaned down and softly kissed me again. I could feel the heat from his lips as I reciprocated, the softness of our kissing became harder, our lips forcefully melting into each other, his tongue colliding with mine.

A door from upstairs had been opened from the outside, forcing Jacob to pull away. I could hear Mom and Dad's voices as they spoke to one another in Dad's room (which Esme kept exactly how it was), this was our cue to stop. Jacob moaned slightly, moving his head so his forehead was against mine, "I missed this," he whispered.

"Me too."

"I am glad."

"Me too."

"Can I walk you to the cottage?"

"I would like that."

He took my hand and we quickly left the house. We walked slowly into the thick trees until the light had faded from the house and Jacob put his arm around me. We walked in silence, my head resting into the place where his arm and shoulder met. We reached the front door to the cottage and I sighed. "Are you ok?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah, I don't want tonight to end."

"I know. Neither do I..." he hesitated then bit his lip. "I want you to move back in with me." he said quickly. I raised my eyebrows. "I know that you have been settled back here, and this is selfish of me but I have missed you so much, I have missed having you in our house. And with the wedding a few months away, I don't want you here, I want you with me."

I smiled and looked up at him. "I want to come back. I have wanted that for so long."

Jacob breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought you were going to say no."

"Why would you do that?"

"To teach me a lesson," he blushed.

"I don't need to do that," I chuckled. "We have been torturing each other the last few weeks. I want to come back, thank you."

"This weekend?"

"I have to get fitted for kit tomorrow, we all have to, the team."

"Sunday?"

"Yeah, Sunday," I smiled.

"Ok. I have to go," Jacob looked down at his watch. "It's my turn to patrol and Seth covered for me providing I got back to him by eleven."

I nodded. He bent down to kiss me gently on the lips. This time we didn't rush it, this time I savoured his taste, and the burn of heat and electricity course all the way through. He pulled away quicker than I would have liked and he reached down to kiss the back of my hand. "Can I come and see you tomorrow evening?"

"Of course, I don't have anything planned."

"Ok, until tomorrow bright eyes." And he ran off in the direction of the house.

I opened the door and I danced around the living room. I felt like I was flying, my head buzzing. Although this was my first home, I was going home. I was glad he broached the subject now rather than later. I skipped into my bedroom, throwing my bag onto the bed, my phone fell out, flashing with a message.

It was an email. It was an email address that looked really odd. I opened it... It was from Lottie!

I grabbed my phone, and opened the email. My heart racing.

Hey Nessie. Lottie here, I am having to use a burner email, I'll explain...

Firstly, I want to say sorry with how I left. I know it's stupid, I knew before I left it was stupid, but I needed a break. I would like to say I am fine, I am not just now, but I will be. Jasper has been awesome. I am aware that you were all at the airport and I am sorry it got to that stage, I wanted little fuss. Jasper has made me realise a few things and running away is not one of them.

Felix was at the graveyard where my Father is buried. He has made a threat to take and turn me. I don't think he will make a move just now, when I am so guarded. I have a feeling an attempt will be made when I least expect it. Jasper is restarting my training; we need to try and keep my physical shield around me as much as I can, even in my sleep, being shot with the tranq gun has shown one of my many flaws.

We are moving from place to place but I am staying in Scotland for now. We did go to London two days ago but I was being followed by someone (human, possible an agency of some sort) so we are back in Scotland under an alias –hence this email address, you won't be able to reply to it. I will keep checking in when I can. Alice spoke with Jasper about this, I wasn't aware that I was being tracked in this manner. We are on the lookout for people like me.

I also realised that I have let a lot of people down, including my team, so I am going to do what I can to rectify that. I have been fitted for kit and skates over here. I have contacted Perry and I have started intensive training on this side, during the night might I add. I can now stay upright. In fact I can do a bit more than just stay upright, oh my word; it's amazing, I really thought I would hate it but I feel like I am flying - I need to make sure I don't bugger this up for you guys, I have already been too selfish. Jasper has made me go to the gym so that I can lose weight and get stronger physically and mentally. If I am not there, I am at a rink, practicing my power or sleeping.

I hope that you're ok, that you and Jacob are ok. I don't know if he will ever forgive me, I don't know if I can forgive him, my mind changes all the time, maybe we can talk when I come back and maybe I don't want to, maybe he doesn't want to. I say when, because it forces me to keep my promise to you.

I am not ready to talk about him just now. My heart still hurts. I know he is hurting too, but I cut myself off, I had to or I would have had nothing left. I keep losing the people that care about me. I don't want to keep hurting. There I go again, being selfish.

Don't let anyone know I have contacted you please. Apart from Alice, she knows everything anyway. I don't want people getting upset that I haven't spoken to them or made contact. I will when I am good and ready. If you tell Jacob, he will then know. I don't want to cause him anymore pain either.

I feel better than I did a few days ago. Jasper has literally been a godsend. So has Alice.

I hope you forgive me too.

Love you

Lottie xx

Tears were welling up in my eyes. I was so glad she was in contact with me but sad that I couldn't even discuss this with Jacob, I had to respect her wishes or I would lose her too. I was sad she chose me and not Keith to contact. I was mad at Felix. Bemused at whoever was tracking her. Amazed that she was finding the time to learn a new skill we yet had to learn and practising her power again. She is right; Jasper has been the best influence on her.

I counted myself to be so fortunate, things were moving on for me, but in regards to Keith, they were not moving on for her. I hoped that she would let him in, that she would tear down the defensive walls she was now making. I could tell in the tone of her email that she would not allow anyone to hurt her again.

That concerned me.