Hi, so this fanfic is complete pointless, OOC, and crack. I saw this picture of Harry on the floor and a joke about how Harry loves the floor, and it just got me thinking, and thus this fanfic was born. Please note that I didn't try to write this fantastically. Also please note flames will not be taken siriusly here. Enjoy!

Harry shouldered his bag and kept walking. He didn't know where Hermione or Ron were, probably snogging in some abandoned broom cupboard. Harry kept walking down the hall quickly; the bell might ring at any second.

He was walking down a hall (A secret short cut of his) when Draco Malfoy and his cronies appear. They seemed to be in a deep discussion about something or other. Harry ignored them, as usual. He didn't notice when Malfoy stuck out his foot, waiting for Harry to trip over it. Harry, not paying attention, tripped.

He was sent sprawling and landed with his arms and legs awkwardly spread out, like an eagle. Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle howled with laughter, and walked away, still cackling.

Harry heard the bell ring, signaling the start of class. He sighed; he knew he should be jumping up and rushing to class, but he just stayed there. He couldn't explain it; the Floor was just so… comforting. Harry began to think about the floor. The Floor has always been there for me, Harry thought. It has always caught me when I get knocked over. It is so nice down here with the Floor. The Floor is so soft and nice… Harry began absentmindedly stroking the Floor. He ran his hand along the tiles. But, Floor, you are so cold. Harry carefully unfastened his cloak, not leaving the Floor. He draped it to his right, next to him. "It's okay Floor. You are warm now."

He went back to stroking the Floor. Filch doesn't take good enough care of you, does he? There, there Floor, it's okay. I am here now. Harry spread his arms as if he wanted to give the Floor a hug. Thank you for always being there, Floor. Now we can be together forever. Harry kissed the Floor, but only on the cheek. He didn't want to move things along too fast. He and the Floor stayed there throughout class, while other students were studying and taking notes. Harry remained here, lying with the Floor. And he was never happier.

He heard footsteps behind him when the bell sounded. "Harry?" Ron's voice echoed through the empty hallway. Harry of course ignored him. And just muttered, "I love you Floor." Over and over again.