Pairing: Kadam, featuring Blaine (with spoilers for 4x22)
Words: 1542
Genre: General/Romance
Rating: Harmless
Summary: Part II of "Stifle" from Adam's POV: the talk between Adam & Blaine.
All the warnings from chapter 1 apply here too: if you want Klaine to get back together, this fic is not going to make you happy.

Wistful

Adam closed the hospital door behind him and looked at the boy in front of him. It was the first time he had seen Blaine in real life. He had seen pictures, of course - though he wasn't very active on Facebook, he had used it to look through Kurt's pictures (more often than he was comfortable admitting, because it made him feel a little bit like a stalker) and Blaine had been very present in many of them. So much, actually, that he often seemed to overshadow his ex. Kurt always seemed to be slouching next to him, resting his head on Blaine's shoulder, or standing behind him. Seeing Blaine, Adam understood why. Kurt was taller than his ex-boyfriend. And not just a little bit. He wondered if Kurt had posed like that on purpose, making himself smaller, the same way he did with his words whenever Adam tried to pay him a compliment.

Blaine gave him a cold look. "Kurt didn't tell me you were so old," he said, managing to sound accusatory and condescending at the same time. Quite an accomplishment, considering his height, Adam mused. He smiled indulgently.

"Maybe he thought it wasn't important," he offered. Or that it was none of your business, he added in his mind.

Blaine shook his head. "No, we always tell each other everything. He's clearly ashamed of you." He narrowed his eyes. "Did you know he cheated on you with me at Mr Schue's wedding?"

Adam knew it was futile to try and hide the hurt in his face- he had never been very good with keeping his feelings hidden. Blaine's triumphant smile told him the boy could tell. He let him have his small victory before answering.

"I did, actually," Adam replied quietly. "Kurt told me when he got back to New York. I told him it was okay, as we weren't officially together back then." As opposed to now, he left unspoken. It had still hurt, but not because he felt he had a right to feel that way. It just hurt because he had been jealous of anyone being with the man he admired so much. They had talked it over, and it had lead Adam to finally admitting all and everything he felt for Kurt – he wasn't saying that made the thing with Blaine good, but it had brought them closer together in the end. Adam was old enough to know the temptations of lost loves- he had told Kurt so (while assuring him they were far, far away in England and he had no intention on revisiting that part of his life, ever) and that night, after the movie, they had made love for the first time. In a way, he had Blaine to thank for that.

"Then you should know he still has feelings for me. I'm his best friend. That scene you just walked in on? That was me offering him my help. I was offering him my everything. I asked him to marry me." Blaine lifted his chin and looked up at Adam. "Like we planned. It was all we would talk about last year."

Adam sighed wistfully. "I know," he replied again. Why did Blaine assume he and Kurt never talked about anything? In the first few weeks after he met Kurt, Blaine was almost the only thing Kurt ever talked about. Adam had listened patiently, knowing Kurt needed someone to talk to as he went through phases of sorrow, anger, resentment, hopelessness, and (what had been hardest to bear) shame and guilt. Adam had tried to withhold judgement as well as he could, but meeting Blaine completed the picture he had formed in his head. He now understood why Kurt was so hesitant with his affection, why he flinched at every misstep, expecting to be reprimanded or ridiculed.

"He said no, didn't he?" Adam asked, his tone calm despite everything.

"If you hadn't interrupted-" Blaine started, though he didn't look so pleased anymore. Clearly he had hoped Adam would be more surprised by his proposal.

Adam couldn't feel sorry for him- he had seen the way Kurt had reacted to Blaine's unexpected presence in his dad's room: his tense posture, the way he had reached out for him. It was unusual for Kurt to let his distress show like that in front of other people, eventhough he was letting his guard down more and more when they were alone together. The situation with his dad must be even more taxing for him than Adam had assumed. And Blaine wasn't helping.

"He called me in there," Adam said simply. "I think that says about everything."

"I think it says he's confused," Blaine countered. "If he knew how much I still love him-"

"He does. Believe me, he does."

Which was why simply saying 'I love you' was never going to cut it any more. It wouldn't matter how often Adam said it; Kurt would always be thinking 'that's what Blaine said too, before he left me'. Blaine had no idea what kind of damage he had done with that. From day one, Adam had been trying to prove to Kurt that he was different, that he wouldn't do that to him, and he was still not 100% sure Kurt believed him- or ever would.

"We should have a sing-off," Blaine said.

Adam blinked. "Pardon?"

"Yeah. We did that at school all the time when we had to settle something. You sing. I sing. And Kurt decides who's best."

Adam opened his mouth to speak a few times, but couldn't find the right words to express what he felt. "I don't think a song contest is what Kurt needs right now, Blaine," he finally said. "When his dad is recovered, I'm sure he'll have time for a mature heart-to-heart-" Adam really couldn't stress the word mature enough. He knew Blaine was a high school senior and only a year younger than Kurt, but they suddenly seemed ages apart.

"You have no idea what Kurt needs!" Blaine protested. "Music always makes him feel better. It's all we ever did. It's why he went to NYADA, to make it his profession!"

Adam cocked his head. "Really? That's what you think he does all day? Sing songs?" He looked at the other boy in amazement. "Did you know NYADA has dance classes, theatre classes, writing classes, set design, costume design… and that Kurt is taking all of these courses on top of his internship? He's not even sure he wants to keep up his singing course after winning Midnight Madness, because he said he's not interested in repeat performances. Did you know he got a large part in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and one of his short stories was featured on NYADA's student blog?" Do you even know the guy you want to marry at all?

Blaine's eyes were searching the wall behind Adam as if he would find words to say written out for him. "Of course I do," he said shyly, "he told me all of that on the phone."

"Then what was the short story about?" Adam asked, giving Blaine a chance, though he suspected the outcome would be disappointing. Blaine remained silent.

"I don't think he said," he finally admitted. "Glee Club, I guess."

Funny, I thought you guys talked about everything? Adam thought.

"If you want to stay friends with Kurt, you need to start listening to what he has to say, Blaine," he said, "Instead of just waiting for your turn to speak." If it came out more sternly than he intended, he didn't care. It was time someone told this boy the truth, and if Kurt was too kind or too polite to do that, he would. "Now I don't know what he told you about us-"

"That you weren't exclusive," Blaine helpfully supplied.

"But we are exclusive now. That means you need to back off. Stop posting love songs on his wall. Stop sending him gifts. Stop showing up unexpectedly." And leave when he tells you to.

"I promised him I'd look after his dad," Blaine protested.

Adam nodded. "You can - just don't expect any favours from him in return. He's not going to marry you because you are living up to your side of your friendship."

Adam half-expected Blaine to put up another fight, maybe even suggest more singing, but it seemed that the message had finally hit home.

"Okay," Blaine said, tears gathering in his eyes. "Okay. Fine." He stepped back, giving Adam a last look, and turned around to leave. Adam let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. Behind him, the door quietly opened all the way. Adam had already suspected it hadn't been a draft that had opened it moments earlier, but he hadn't wanted to call Blaine's attention to it.

"He was diffent when I met him," Kurt said quietly, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him carefully. He knew his dad wasn't really asleep, but it felt wrong slamming it anyway.

Adam put an arm around his shoulders. Maybe you were different, he thought, but the advantage of being so old was knowing when to speak your mind and when not to.

The End