Phil put out his hands, attempting to feel around the space beside him, trying to find where Dan was.

"Dan?" he called out, still trying to find out where he was.

Phil was blind after being in a accident a few years ago and Dan was the only person that stayed with him throughout the hard times, always looking out for him and standing up for him when people purposely sent him in wrong directions or tripped him up, and in all honesty.. Phil truly did love Dan, as in, proper love, but he couldn't lose him. He was the most important person in the world to him and losing Dan one day due to him just having a crush on him simply terrified Phil, he couldn't imagine life without him.

"Sorry, I'm right here, Philly." Dan sat back down on the couch next to Phil grasping his hands. "I just went to the kitchen to throw something away."

He smiled at Phil. He knew that Phil couldn't see the smile, but they seemed to have some sort of weird connection that allowed Phil to know however Dan felt, even without seeing the expressions.

Phil calmed down, squeezing Dan's hands and smiling slightly "It's okay.. I just panic a bit too much sometimes, I always get scared you're going to leave me" He shrugged, chewing on his lip "But you're not horrible like everyone else.. So I guess you wouldn't."

"What? I resent that statement!" Dan mock-gasped. "Of /course/ I'm better than everyone else! I'm Dan Howell, dammit!" Dan laughed, bopping Phil's nose.

Phil scrunched up his face, laughing at Dan's words. He loved the way he acted like there was nothing wrong with Phil and didn't constantly ask him questions or care too much. Of course, Dan helped him around and everything but he would never ask him uncomfortable questions or pity him "You make me laugh.."

"Oh, I know I make you laugh." Dan said, quickly tickling Phil's stomach. Dan, although sometimes taking advantage of Phil's disability to give him a quick tickle or surprise hug, had always felt bad for Phil. He would have felt less guilt, maybe not at all, if it was something he was born with. But developing blindness? Phil had the entire world to compare it to. He would never see colors, beautiful sights, or everyday things ever again. And that hurt Dan.

Phil squealed, falling back onto the couch as he burst into fits of laughter "D-Daniel!" He squeaked, flailing around yet still laughing loudly "S-Stop" He chuckled, putting his arms out and attempting to pull Dan down into his arms. He wanted to know what Dan looked like now, how different he was or how tall he had gotten. He remembered before this happened, Dan was absolutely beautiful. Just.. Perfect, and Phil knew he still would be.

"Where are they gonna go next Phil? Where?" Dan teased, moving his fingers to Phil's ribs before letting the boy go. He let himself be pulled into Phil's embrace. Phil squealed, shaking his head and smiling when he felt Dan settle down next to him. He grasped Phil's hand and brought it up to his cheek, allowing Phil to feel the dimple in his cheek, which only appeared when he was truly smiling.

"Do you see how happy you make me?" Dan laughed, stroking the back of Phil's hand with his thumb. He felt Dan's dimple and smiled himself.

"I-I do.. Your dimple never comes up unless you're truly happy" He nodded, shuffling towards Dan and moving his hand to run through his hair "Your hair is soft, too."

Dan smirked and raised an eyebrow at Phil's hands moving to his hair. Phil had never done this before, since the accident, but he supposed curiosity was finally getting the better of him. Phil wanted to "see" Dan again.

"You can continue feeling me up if you want." Dan joked, chuckling.

Phil blushed, moving his hand out of Dan's hair and biting his lip.

"S-Sorry! I just.. I really want to see you again, I remember what you looked like.. but you're probably taller now.. and more perfect and everything" He whispered.

Dan laughed, cooing at the embarrassed look on Phil's face.

"Yes, I am perfect. But I was being serious." Dan brought Phil's hands up to rest on his cheeks. "Go ahead and feel my face. I'm perfectly okay with that. Try to see what you feel."

Phil nodded, running his hands to Dan's jawline then up to his nose, He giggled, poking it gently and biting his lip "Your nose seems small.. and like.. cute" He grinned, moving his hands to Dan's hair again "I like your hair.. It feels nice"

Dan blushed, fully aware that Phil would feel the heat if he moved his hands back downwards.

"My nose is not cute." He grumbled jokingly, feeling Phil move his hands through his hair. He subconsciously leaned into Phil's hands, enjoying his fingers threaded in his hair. "I still use the same shampoo I used years ago."

"You do? It feels so soft" Phil grinned, he shuffled closer to Dan, moving his hands away after a while "You're so cute and lovely and amazing, I just wish I could see you" He said quietly, shuffling closer to Dan.

"You're cuter and lovelier and amazing-er." Dan laughed, wrapping his arms around Phil's waist and laying his head on Phil's shoulder. It was rare that they ever came close to talking about Phil's disability, but now... "I'm sorry, Phil."

Phil smiled, nuzzling into Dan and holding him tightly, His face moved up when he heard Dan talk, tilting it to the side in slight confusion.

"What do you mean? Why are you sorry?" He questioned.

"It's just... you want to see me but you can't. That frustrates me more than you think, so I can't even imagine how it might frustrate you." Dan sighed, burying his face into Phil's shoulder. "I guess I'm just sorry that you're put through this."

Phil shook his head, putting his arms around Dan "D-Don't worry, it's not your fault for one and two if you get upset I will too" He chuckled sadly "Don't be sorry, It's okay.. Please don't be frustrated or anything, i'll be fine"

Dan suddenly sat up, shifting nervously and looking at Phil.

"Phil, just looked straight ahead. Don't question it, alright? I want to try something."

Phil turned his head so he was looking straight ahead, he frowned, but then just nodded and didn't question anything.

Dan stood up and leaned down in front of Phil, getting directly in his line of vision... or lack thereof. He kept his eyes lined up and trained on Phil's and smiled.

"Guess what, Phil?" He didn't wait for a response. "We're looking into each other's eyes."

Phil smiled.