Hokage, the Fire Shadow,

The leader of the Konohagakure, the village hidden by the tree leaves.

When it was time for him to speak up, Minato stood up proudly and announced to the class, "I want to be a great Hokage that will be respected by everyone in the village,"

The class erupted in laughter, with someone even mocking him in an exaggerated nasal voice while another one proudly boasted that if a wuss could become a Hokage, then the village will certainly collapse. Despite the strong negative reception to his proclamation, Minato didn't get mad and simply chuckled with a hand behind his head. He really couldn't get it to get angry with them. After all, despite their response, those same people would probably be the ones that will fight together with him one day

But one person gave a totally different reaction to the announcement. Even as he laughed it off, he saw the look in the eyes of the cute redhead who had announced earlier that she wanted to become the Hokage. It's one of annoyance. Oh great, she must have thought that he was trying to steal her dream.

He was not, though. Even before he entered the Academy, he spent his time watching the entire village from a spot to the left of Sandaime's head sculpture, pretending as if he was overlooking it as its custodian. He wasn't sure what really caused him to become Hokage but he was certain that the goal would be one worth having.

Generally acknowledged as the strongest shinobi in the village,

The Kumo shinobi platoon stared at the single adversary they were facing with trepidation. Unlike Uchiha or Hyuuga, the lone opponent didn't come from a prestigious clan. Despite that, they knew not to underestimate him as his outstanding achievements had begun to make themselves known. Some of them raised their kunais in preparation to throw them while the others were preparing to perform their respective jutsus.

Minato sighed. He really respected his adversaries as they remained steadfast in their position as rearguards even though the main Kumo detachment had already left the place. Even though he had received order not to pursue, his opponents didn't know about it and was prepared sacrifice their lives to stop him.

"Do we really have to do this?" he asked reluctantly.

Misunderstanding what he meant, the Kumo shinobis attacked.

Minato calmly threw one of his three-pronged kunais and disappeared from the view.

Possessing the strength, intellect and wisdom to lead it through peaceful times and turbulent times

"Congratulations, brat" Jiraiya said while slapping the back of his blonde haired student good-naturedly. "They've upgraded your rating to a 'flee on sight'."

"Oh," came the unexpected and rather sombre response.

"Hey, you're supposed to be happy with that upgrading, since you are on the same level as me."

"Sensei, the wording on your description, if I recall correctly, is 'To all kunoichi: you're to flee on sight of the said person within 3 kilometer radius of a nearby bath house' and that is the warning for the Kiri Bingo Book. "The one of Kumo's book is 'Kill the bastard with extreme prejudice and while you're at it, remember to castrate him as well'. As for Suna..."

Jiraiya laughed it off loudly, interrupting Minato. "Still, it's somewhat the same thing. No matter what reason, a flee-on-sight is still a flee-on-sight no matter what reason." His expression then turned serious. "So, as I asked you just now, mind telling me the reason why you're unhappy?"

Minato turned toward him in surprise.

A few seconds passed before Jiraiya crossed his arms and tilted his head a little bit. "Well?"

"You're not going suggest that the reason why I'm down in the dumps is because Kushina didn't want to do the 'horizontal tango' or 'horsey riding'?"

Jiraiya a hand on his head and shook in exaggerated manner. "Sigh. That's why I don't like closet perverts like you. You're a hypocrite, acting all cool and that while actually you're the same with me."

"Sensei!"

The toad hermit lowered the hand and stared at his student. "Well, props at your attempt to change the topic but you still have a lot to go. So, the main reason?"

"I wonder, sensei, is there another way to our way of life?"

Jiraiya had a thoughtful look on his face. "Go on."

"Do we really have to fight all the time? Killing begets killing, revenge begets revenge. It is a vicious circle. Isn't there a better way?"

The sennin smiled and put a hand on Minato's shoulder. "There is."

Minato put his hand on top of his sensei's. "How?"

"That, Minato, is the answer that I'm still searching for, though I believe it would be you who will find it."

Minato smiled. "Thank you, sensei."

The symbol of power of the village

He had once joked to his newly wedded wife that even though she certainly had the all the necessary abilities and character to be become Hokage, she wouldn't become one. Of course, the reason wasn't due to her being a woman since no one really cared what gender the Hokage was as long as he or she was strong; Kushina was insanely strong that if he often had to use thunder god jutsu to keep up with her.

Kushina wouldn't become the Hokage simply because she wouldn't last through the inauguration ceremony. If she nearly stood up in the middle of their wedding ceremony to demand the shinto priest marrying the two of them to tell the priest 'just marry us up already- ttebane" because she felt that it was too long, Minato shuddered to think about her reaction to the inauguration being at least ten times longer.

Even as he remained calm and stoic, his eyes roved all over the villagers assembled in front of him, reminding himself that those were the people he had sworn to protect.

Then, he saw Kushina moving to rejoin the crowd in front of him. Judging the fact that she had a satisfied look on her face, she probably went back to have a cup of instant ramen or two. Or five or six, since Ichiraku Ramen was closed by its owner who also came to the ceremony. Normally, as the wife of the Hokage, she was supposed to stand behind him throughout the ceremony but since their marriage was a secret to everyone except a select few, she took advantage of that.

Which was for the best, since Kushina probably couldn't sit still through the first ten verse of prayers.

Still, despite her flaws, to Minato, she is the 'Hokage' of his heart.

But, despite being described as an inheritor to the Sage of Six Paths, the Hokage was still a human being.

Being a human being, he or she wasn't above all earthly desires, wasn't above the jealousy and envy of fellow mankind,

Minato looked at his secretary, a stern looking lady in early 30s who was wearing what was called as 'business suit'. He didn't really understand the need for the woman to wear spectacles as she, being a shinobi had to have perfect eyesight, but Jiraiya-sensei had once explained that it was part of the her character concept, before the old hermit suddenly had a lecherously faraway look for a full ten minutes and then started scribbling like mad.

"Hokage-sama, Orochimaru-san asked me to relay his apology for leaving your office before you return. He told me that there's," the secretary stopped to see a paper on the table, "some misalignment with centrifuges installed in Laboratory 3 that can overload the generators that in turn can cause unexpected fissile reaction that will in turn release massive amount of thermal energy along with gamma rays and x-rays causing ionizing effects to the cells of the carbon-based organisms that proliferates in the 50 kilometers radius of the said site of thermal release thus requiring his immediate and undivided attention.."

A shinobi or in this case a kunoichi can do anything, even say a long sentence non-stop without having to take a breath in the between.

Minato frowned a bit. "If he doesn't want to wait, he could just say so without having to invent such a fanciful fantasy. It's not that I don't understand his position. Besides, if I knew the Council was going to waste five hours of time of trying to get me to 'sow the next generation of Yellow Flash' instead of just 'brief meeting' as they requested, I would have rescheduled me meeting him. He sighed and muttered, "Now he's going to think that I'm flaunting my position in his face."

"He said that he understood your situation very well, Hokage-sama, and would like to meet you at a later date."

"Oh well, that's a relief." Minato's hand was on the door knob of his office when he remembered something. "Unless it's important, please reschedule any visi..."

Minato didn't finish his words as he was buried underneath papers that spilled out of his office when he opened the door.

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"Ku ku ku," Orochi laughed as he watched was transpired in the Hokage's office through a surveillance jutsu he had planted on the office wall.

"You sound like a bird, Orochimaru-sama," his recently acquired apprentice, Kabuto remarked.

"Evil laugh is supposed to sound like that."

"I see," Kabuto answered drolly before adjusting his glasses. "What did you do to him?"

"Directly, nothing. He's the Yellow Flash, of course. But while researching Shodaime's mokuton power last year, I found out a very interesting fact. When some Shodaime's cells are combined with a specific spell matrix, it can be used to duplicate certain wood-based items in numerous quantity."

Kabuto focused on screen. "So, you spend the whole year coming up with..."

"It is currently my greatest technique: 'Paperwork bunshin no jutsu'!, the most powerful anti-Kage jutsu ever invented!"

Simultaneously, every kage throughout the world shivered in fear.

"The matrix will keep duplicating more and more paperwork until the power is exhausted and it disappears, leaving no trace. The paperwork it produces is also similar to normal paperwork and cannot be dispelled unlike kage bunshins."

"You just multiplied the paperwork," Kabuto pointed out simply. "He could just ask someone else to do it or even summon Kage Bunshin's to help out."

"Ku ku ku. Kabuto, you still have a lot to learn."

And indeed he still had a lot to learn as Kabuto was still quite young.

"The most terrifying part of this jutsu is not the multiplication part; it is the legal aspect that's scary. Because Minato is the Hokage, he couldn't simply ask someone else to make the decision that he was supposed to make as it will contravene Konohagakure's Regulation 142 Subsection 12A regarding Hokage's responsibilities. He can create a Kage Bunshin or two to sort the documents or even read them but he still have stamp them personally in accordance to Regulation 232 Subsection 1D, or else it's considered as a forgery. Even though he will realise that the contents of the forms are the same, he still have to stamp every one one of them as per required under Regulation 234C."

"When you put it that way, it does sound scary," Kabuto admitted. Then his eyes widened in shock. "Wait, this is the ultimate jutsu you were researching the whole time? You spent the whole year inventing a jutsu just to prank Hokage-sama?"

His words was lost on Orochimaru had a thoughtful look on his face, "I should have come up with this jutsu earlier and use it on Sensei in retaliation since he chose Minato over me."

Had worries and fear,

Even though his wife was about to go to sleep, Minato couldn't help himself. "Honey,"

Kushina moaned a bit as her journey to dreamland was interrupted but hearing the uncertainty in his voice, she knew that it was a very important thing. "Yes?"

"I'm wondering... Was I good?"

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Danzo set the report on the table in front of him. As he had expected, Konoha's enemies were only so eager to spread the rumors that the 'Flash' part of the Minato's 'Yellow Flash' nickname was given by women bedded by him due to his lack of endurance.

The war veteran admitted to himself that spreading rumors that man had a premature ejaculation problem was a below-the-belt attack and could be considered as breaking the brother-code, but he was a shinobi and shinobi would do anything, even using such a devious attack.

"Shi!"

A figure appeared, wearing an Ultraman Ace mask, striking a body builder's pose. "Hiyash!"

Let it be known that Root's brainwashing method had good chance of instilling loyalty to Danzo and removing the recipient's personality. But something that good couldn't be without its disadvantages. So sometimes...

Danzo conveniently ignored the possible negative effects of the brainwashing program when he enacted it. After all, a shinobi has the capability to switch off his conscience for the good of himself.

"It's time to proceed with the next phase of the plan,"

"Shosh!" This time, the pose was a hand chopping pose, as if Shi was fighting a 60,000 tons kaijuu.

"Tell our agents to start spreading rumors that the reason why Minato is not married until now is because he is ga..." Danzo stopped. No, that wouldn't do, he decided. The reason was best reserved for someone whose name would rhyme with the word. Maybe Fugaku would have another son that will have such a name. "The reason why Minato is against the Clan Restoration Act, which basically a license for a harem setting, is that he has a small penis as well erectile dysfunction."

"Hoyagh!" Shi said, holding his hands upward and started to levitate slowly upward, accompanied by metallic whooshing sound before finally disappearing just before he reached the ceiling.

Shi wasn't the first and wasn't the last agent affected by the Root's brainwashing program. A few years later, the program will produce a very talented shinobi but that said shinobi will have a fixation on penisses.

A Hokage wasn't above having personal problems,

Onoki, the proud Third Tsuchikage stood overlooking the village from his office as he watched his soldiers silently searching for the intruders that tripped off the sensor seal array just few seconds prior. Whoever the invaders were, they were brazen enough to enter the village that night but he would make them regret their action. Iwa might be slightly weakened by the recent war, but it still had the might to wage another one. He tilted his head a bit as he sensed the air inside his office room shifted a bit. "Report,"

A member of the feared and respected Iwa no Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai appeared while simultaneously dropping into one-legged kneeling stance, his neutral and stoic voice merely betraying a timber of worry in it. "Tsuchikage-sama, we have identified the intruder!"

"Intruder?" he intoned, noticing that the implied number. At most, probably someone with a personal vendetta against him or any one of his shinobis, or someone's too stupid or too suicidal, attempting to spy on the village. "Who is he?"

"It was the Yellow Flash."

He was the Tsuchikage, the absolute leader of the village, but pulverising the unfortunate man behind him who had to report the bad news to him was simply bad taste. After all, good help was hard to find those days. Still, the news that the infamous Kiroii Senko had entered his village and left without being caught or at least maimed annoyed him immensely. "So, what did he do?"

"Um..." the unease become more evident in the ANBU's voice, "he took some things."

"Right. As expected since shinobi steals, cheats and lies." Upon realising the rather peculiar phrasing of the report, he asked again, "Why do you say he took instead of stole?"

"He left some money along with a note. That's why we know who he was."

Onoki put out his right hand and a scroll was put on it. He opened it, ready to perform a kawarimi should the scroll was a trap.

It was a normal scroll.

Onoki read the content of the scroll and was quiet for long time. "He broke into our store, stole ten boxes of Pocky-flavored instant ramen along ten boxes of ramen-flavored pocky and left money amounting to five times the value of the things he took?"

"Yes, Tsuchikage-sama."

"That damn bastard! This travesty must not go unpunished. Relay a message to the Jounin Commander to prepare a punitive expedition to Kusa by tomorrow afternoon. I want all bandits to be wiped out by the end of the week. Also, don't bother to hide the operation. In fact, the more people know about it, the better."

"Tsuchikage-sama?" the ANBU asked, uncertain about what he had heard.

"You have your order."

"Yes." With that final salutation, the ANBU was gone, leaving Onoki alone once more.

So the Namikaze thought that he could do as he pleased, did he? Well, he would teach the bastard a lesson in subterfuge. With the bandits in Kusa wiped out, there would be no attacks on the merchants from the Fire Country which in turn meant that the young Hokage would have no good reason to leave his village and had to stay there for the duration of 'that arduous and difficult period'.

Onoki chuckled malevolently at the thought.

Now, perhaps he could send the remaining stock of ramen-flavored pocky and pocky-flavored ramen, which Namikaze had missed probably due his haste, to Kumo. Sure, he would have to lower the status of his village a little bit by telling his counterpart that the gifts were peace offerings, but imagining the normally calm Namikaze frantically ransacking Kumo's store for the items made the slight seemed insignificant in comparison.

While he was on the topic, maybe he should have his shinobis leak rumors regarding crayon-flavored ramen as well as trash-flavored ramen recipes that were said to be in Mizukage's possession.

After all, expectant mothers sometimes had the strangest cravings.

Wasn't above all crisis and challenges and above all,

Minato looked at the newcomer right in front of him, turned his head toward the direction where the gigantic Kyuubi that razed his village was supposed to be.

It wasn't there, as if it had vanished just like that. However, the tell-tale destruction wreaked upon the surrounding bore proof that the mighty tailed-beast was there.

Minato slowly turned his head back at the newcomer and blinked. It was a fox all right, with two tails swishing around, as if alarmed by its sudden appearance in front of him. Despite the fox's reaction, he found himself becoming wary. Dealing with megatons of destruction engine capable of leveling Konoha with a swipe of its nine mighty tails? There's a SOP written for that by the first Hokage even though it only mentioned about binding the damned thing with Mokuton, rinse and repeat until it was defeated. But how to handle a weapon-grade cuteness? That was something else altogether.

Minato blinked.

He got a blink in response.

Minato blinked twice.

The newcomer blinked twice as well.

"Um..."

The thing raised its gloved hand in salutation. "Hello. I'm Tails."

A Hokage wasn't above screwing up.

"Shit"

Author's Note

1. This story is loosely (very loosely ) inspired by Nin tech by Irritus185

2. The Ultraman Mask was inspired by Another Fistful Of Omake, Chapter 1 by Greylle.

3. Well, we have some fics where a Shinigami, demon, angel, Madara, Shodaime, another powerful being, etc was sealed in Naruto. So why not have a weak one (in relative to the other beings) being sealed instead. But, not much would be said about Sonic the Hedgehog world so I don't really think this story is a proper C/O

4. I've read some stories regarding Hokage's paperwork and the use of Kage Bunshin to deal with it (or why Kage Bunshin couldn't be used to solve it). I've also read some fics where the paperwork multiplied out of nowhere or how it was Hokage's most reviled enemy. Extrapolating those ideas, I got the idea that the use of paperwork jutsu as part of a terror attack (Orochi being the terrorist). But before someone start to mention it to me, I might as well declare that the idea is neither novel as I'm not claiming that I'm the first to come out with the idea as someone else might already did (but I didn't read his or her fic) nor the context in which the attack was carried out to be taken seriously (it's a humor one-shot, not an epic)

5. Please take note : This is a crack fic. Any loophole, weiredness, OOC inside this story is intended.