Disclaimer: The Characters Belong to Paramount, and maybe other people, too.

The sappyness is all mine. I make no money from either.

Author's note: My very first fan fic, suggestions are welcomed but please try to be kind. Also, I don't necessarly follow the show's timeline, I just go wherever my imagination takes me, so if events are out of order, new, unheard of or compleately different then on the show that's just how I saw it in my head.

This is home- Thought Kathryn Janeway. She had refused to believe it for weeks. Voyager was long gone by now, but she hadn't let go. She hadn't let go of the hope of seeing her crew again, or the hope of fulfilling her promise to get them all home. She was her captain; Voyager should arrive at the Alpha Quadrant with her in command. Now, however, she and Chakotay, her first officer, were on a planet they named New Earth, and all hope of returning to Voyager was gone.

Chakotay had accepted New Earth as his home almost immediately. She still held out hope of finding a cure for the illness which kept them prisoners on this beautiful planet, well at least she did for a time. Now she came to the realization that this was home, for good.

Chakotay had declared his love for her in a, not so cryptic, story about an angry warrior. Still, she had kept him at arm's length, due to protocol, maybe as a habit, or a learned form of self-preservation, despite her love for him. This evening she had gone to bed wondering why she had done that. They were both aware of the fact that she was in love with him. They both knew her obligations as a captain, her promise to get the crew home, her guilt of having stranding them in the Delta Quadrant, and the ever-present need to keep to protocol, were keeping her from openly expressing that love. Here on New Earth without her obligations, protocol, or any chance at keeping her promise to the crew, only the guilt remained. It was time to let go of that guilt.

"This is home." She whispered to herself. In that moment she made a choice. She decided to allow herself to love him, to forgive herself, and make planet, New Earth, a home for both them. She listened to his soft breathing from behind the partition and felt a rush of warmth and excitement come over her. She smiled to herself like a school girl whose crush had just noticed her. Tomorrow she would tell him, tomorrow she would declare her love, tomorrow they would not sleep alone. She was tempted to crawl into bed beside him now, to feel his warm body next to hers. She longed to feel his arms around her.

She quietly rose from her bed and slipped into the common living area they shared. She paced wondering if she should go to him. She didn't want to intrude on his space, his bed, uninvited. She honestly didn't think he'd mind, but she might startle him. He might assume something must be wrong. She was nervous and a bit scared, again, like an adolescent experiencing her first love.

In a moment she had made up her mind! She decided to go to him. She was quietly entering his small sleeping area when she heard the com badge. OH GOD! - She felt the world closing in on her. All the weight of her responsibilities came crashing down. Fear took hold of her. She ran to the small table where they had discarded their com badges week ago, quickly scooped them up and closed her fist around them then ran outside as quietly as she could.

"Voyager to Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay"-Tuvok's voice was a bit distorted with static but still unmistakable.

"Janeway here."

"Captain we have found a cure for you and the Commander we are on our way to retrieve you." Tuvok's voice was as emotionless as ever.

Kathryn tried to steady her own voice, "How long do we have?"

"Approximately thirty hours Captain."

"Understood, Janeway out." Kathryn leaned back against the rough bark of a small tree that stood by the bath tub Chakotay had made for her, and allowed herself a few moments to take it all in. After a few moments she, walked into their makeshift home, deposited the com badges back in their original locations and quickly slid into bed beside her first officer, before she could change her mind. He reached for her, not quite awake, believing it was another one of his dreams of holding her. When she softly touched her lips to his he slowly came to the realization that this might not be a dream.

"Kathryn?" His expression showed her just how confused he was.

She touched her fingers gently to his lips then slowly brought her lips to his once more. The soft kiss slowly grew more passionate and she knew there was no turning back for her, and she didn't want to. In a little over a day they would be the captain and commander again and didn't want to waste this night.

Kathryn and Chakotay awoke in each other's arms, somehow managing to stay in the tiny cot without falling out and onto the floor in their sleep. The sun was slowly rising over the horizon and it was going to be a beautiful day. Chakotay looked at Kathryn with a wonderfully happy smile and declared his love for her once more. He kissed her and with the promise of breakfast, he rose. He was happily humming as he prepared their meal. She sat at the table staring at him, marveling at how happy he was, all the while knowing that his happiness was about to end. She got up and went to him, wrapping her arms around him from behind. Her hands slid up his bare chest and she pressed one side of her face against his back. Oh, if it could only last forever. He turned and put his arms around her, pulling her body against his he gave her a long and passionate kiss.

She held on, refusing to break the kiss. He finally broke free from the kiss and said "Kathryn"

"Hmmm?" she hummed softly.

"Kathryn, our food is going to burn." He chuckled, turned around and gave their breakfast a little more attention.

At breakfast they held hands and sat closer to each other. They laughed and kissed between bites. How was she going to tell him they were leaving in roughly 24 hours? What had she done? How could she go back? When they cleared the table she reached for him and led him back to bed. She knew this would be the last time they would make love.

When Chakotay stepped into the sonic shower she knew what to do. She waited a minute or two then she took her com badge outside; he couldn't know that she was initiating the contact, and tapping the badge she called out, "Janeway to Voyager"

"Voyager here, it's good to hear your voice Captain", answered Tom Paris.

"Can I get an update, please, Mister Paris?" said a voice that was clearly the authoritative voice of Janeway, the Captain.

"We're just under 23 hours out, Captain." By this time Chakotay had completed his sonic shower and headed out to investigate the voices he had heard.

"Lieutenant Paris, can you tell me how you happened upon this cure?"

Tuvok had come onto the bridge and answered for Tom, "We acquired the vaccine from the Vidiians, Captain. I take full responsibility for disobeying your orders."

"We'll discuss it when we're back on Voyager, Commander. Janeway out."

Chakotay stood at the doorway, with nothing but a towel around his waist, shocked at what he was hearing. He finally had the love of his life, and his relationship was over before it was a day old.

"Kathryn, it doesn't have to change, we love each other…" he said desperately, knowing that she would go back to being the "Captain" who wouldn't allow herself to love her first officer.

"Voyager arrives tomorrow morning, Commander, I suggest we start preparing." Kathryn strolled passed him into her tiny sleep area. Once there she allowed herself to cry. She had to draw the line, make it clear that this planet and the relationship they had while on it was a part of the past. After a half hour of silent tears she discarded her dress and slowly pulled on her Starfleet uniform piece by piece. She emerged from her "room" a picture-perfect officer, with an excellently controlled expression which did not betray a single one of her emotions. "Commander, I suggest we pack all personal effects first, then together we can start taking down the other items we plan to take back to Voyager."

"Kathryn, can we talk about this, please!" He was pleading with her, practically begging her.

"You have your orders, Commander!" The words came out harsh, much harsher than she intended them to. She fought the urge to cry, she couldn't let him see that she was struggling to maintain her composure. She stormed out in feigned anger and took a walk in the woods to regain control of her emotions. She decided to visit all of their favorite spots; to see them one last time. She lost herself to the memories made on New Earth and shed a few more tears. By the time she arrived back at their little home late in the afternoon, her emotions were well controlled.

Upon her return she found that most of the furniture had already been packed up. All that remained were; her own personal belongings, the replicator, a small table to eat on, and their beds.

"I'm glad to see you're alright." He told her. He truly was relieved but his anger was also evident in his words.

"Why wouldn't I be, Commander?" She snapped at him.

There it was again, his rank. She couldn't even use his name. The anger welled up inside him. She was dehumanizing him! He was just a rank to her now.

"Well I'm glad you manage on your own, Captain!" All his anger concentrated in that last word. A single word; Captain. That word was keeping them apart.

It was his turn to take a walk. He didn't return until well after dark. She was a in bed. She heard him come in and go to his own small cot, where they had made love earlier that day. She lay as quiet as she could, tears soaking into her pillow.

To be continued.