Daydream

A/N: Hey guys, I just read this really sad Kurtbastian fic and I'd thought to write my own angsty fic. Sometimes writing depressing things makes me happy. I know, I'm weird. Anyway, no more talking. I don't think you'll get triggered but just in case, I did put a warning in the summary. I'll put it again though. One-Shot -Rach

(Plus I updated this to get rid of spelling errors and such)

Warning: Character Death, may trigger

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee

"You love him don't you?"

Kurt knew that voice, he didn't have to turn around to find out it was Wes.

"I do."

"Then why don't you go chase after him?"

Smiling painfully, Kurt tilted his head as he watched Blaine twirl his date in his hand, face thrown back in laughter.

"He doesn't like me. I'd like to think he likes me the way I like him, but we all know that's a lie." His voice was almost drowned by the pulsating music which filled the auditorium where an annual dance was being held.

"If you're thinking that way all the time, doesn't it hurt? To be in constant longing?"

"It does." He was walking over to the table where the punch was, arm circling the waist of a blonde boy.

Wes was right. Why does he continue to do this? The pain was unbearable and everything around him being incoherent, nothing made sense as everything blurred together making a gloomy façade drape over him. How could someone make you feel so happy but make you feel so sad at the same time? He's broken and he knows that, but he won't show it. Burdening other with his own problems was never who he was so he thought it was better to put on a smile and act like everything was fine. Especially Blaine.

And the couple were back on the dance floor, having generally a good time while he sat on a the bleachers with an empty cup. Wes had left a while ago leaving Kurt with himself and the brightly colored lights which bounced off the inanimate objects around him. He watched everyone getting whisked away, one by one, now holding hands on the dance floor. They all had someone. But not him. He was alone, and no one would ever want him.

He didn't even have friends anymore. Occasionally Wes would check up on him, make sure he was eating right and doing well, but other than that, no one. Not even Blaine.

They hadn't spoken to each other in a little over a year having slowly forgotten their friendship, which had probably never meant anything in the first place. But it was his fault that he fell in love, not Blaine. Blaine found a perfect guy, leaving Kurt to fend off for himself. He couldn't blame him, really. He would leave himself if he could. Too many mistakes that not even the good he did could out number.

So he spent his days alone, his roommate moving in with this best friend instead secretly. Sitting down with an empty table in the canteen, watching the days pass by aimlessly. Nothing to look forward to anymore. No more singing when he quit the Warblers. No more group discussions when his previous circle of friends went on without him. No more watching musicals in local theaters when Blaine left.

Nothing, nothing.

He did not tell anyone this thought. Not even Wes, not even his own family.

Sometimes he felt like he could do it. Sleep and never wake up. But back then, he thought about how Blaine would react to his best friend no longer by his side. No one to go watch movies with, eat dinners together, or go to coffee shops to rant about some of the baristas there.

And his family. Mostly his father. What would he think? Disappointment that Kurt would do such a thing. OF how alone he would when Kurt was gone. Who will take care of him then?

And everyone around him. Wondering why. Wondering why, Kurt, why? The loss they would have to endure when he left.

..

But now Blaine had a boyfriend that would make him more happy and occupied that Kurt would ever make him. And his father, he had a new family. A kind hearted wife and a trophy son. A son that would make him happier than Kurt ever will no matter how hard he tried. And everyone around him simply passed him by, sometimes pretending he was non-existent.

So if he was gone, who would care? No one.

..

..

..

And he was okay with that.

..

..

..

That night he held a bottle of sleeping pills, hands trembling as he poured out the white pills which didn't contrast his pale, bony fingers as much as he had wanted it to.

He took four first.

..

Swallow

..

His peers will be okay with this.

..

..

He took another four

..

Swallow

..

His family will still be happy. They will be okay

..

..

Then five

..

Swallow

..

Blaine would still laugh and he will still smile. He will be okay.

..

..

..

..

And that madly in love boy? The one who used to love fashionable scarves and skin tight jeans. And musicals and coffee. The one that was adored by many before he fell apart. The one that hadn't felt like himself for months and days to ends?

..

..

He'll be okay too

END

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