A/N: I was listening to this, one of my favourite songs, when I thought "HEY! I could write a songfic with this! About Clive! Yeah!", and started typing right then there-after checking that there definatley wasn't another one of these fics with the same song & character (THERE ISN'T! :) Yay, its an ORIGINAL!) Warning: LOTS of angst in here... On with the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: As I've mentioned before (numerous times), I DON'T own Harry Potte- Wait. I don't own Professor Layton. Level Five does. Now that I think about it, I don't own Harry Potter either. In short, I own nothing except my epic cow slippers from my birthday last year (THANKYOU, Hanhan2100! Best. Prezzie. Ever.)... OH YEAH, I'm not the secret fourth member of The Script, so I have nothing to do with If You Could See Me Now either. :(

(The lyrics from the song are in italics)

It was February 14 Valentines Day
The roses came but they took you away

I remember the day I lost my parents. I remember the blast through the place I'd lived my whole life. I remember how mum and dad told me to get out, to run, to get away. How they told me they loved me for the last time.

Tattooed on my arm is a charm to disarm all the harm
Gotta keep myself calm but the truth is you're gone

After the 'accident', I tried to be calm and get on with my life. That worked for about... Ten minutes? I couldn't stop thinking about how I'd never see them again, and it made me angry. I swore to get revenge against the people who took my family away from me, I swore to avenge my parents.

And I'll never get to show you these songs
Dad you should see the tours that I'm on
I see you standing there next to Mom
Both singing along, yeah arm in arm

When I think about Mum and Dad, I always see them before the explosion, the last time I ever saw them. I just can't think about it and keep myself composed at the same time anymore.

And there are days when I'm losing my faith
Because the man wasn't good he was great
He'd say "Music was the home for your pain"
And explained I was young, he would say
Take that rage, put it on a page
Take that page to the stage
Blow the roof off the place

My parents always used to teach me how I should live my life. How I should try and make the best of every situation and how to just take life as it comes. I tried to remember everything they taught me after they died, but, as I said, I can't think about it anymore.

I'm trying to make you proud
Do everything you did
I hope you're up there with God saying "That's my kid!"

I try to think of how Mum and Dad would feel about everything I have done since... Since the accident. When I was in that damned mobile fortress- MY damned mobile fortress- I kept thinking of how they'd be so happy that I avenged them. But now I'm not so sure.

I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow
Oh if you could see me now

Would they hate me now? Would they disown me as their son? I'm pretty certain that I would, if I was them.

If you could see me now would you recognize me?
Would you pat me on the back or would you criticize me?
Would you follow every line on my tear-stained face?

I wonder if Mum and Dad would understand why I did what I did. If they would understand that I did it all for them and because of how much I loved them. How much I love them.

Put your hand on my heart that was cold
As the day you were taken away
I know it's been a while but I can see you clear as day

I can imagine Mum and Dad hating me for all the stupid things I did. I dream about it. Afterwards, I normally wake up in a cold sweat, tears streaming down my face.

Right now, I wish I could hear you say
I drink too much, and I smoke too much dutch
But if you can't see me now that s**t's a must

A lot of the time, I want to hear Mum or Dad telling me to get a grip. To pull myself together and get on with my life. I just want to hear their voices again, one last time.

You used to say I won't know a wind until it crossed me
Like I won't know real love 'til
I've loved and I've lost it

When I was younger, people always used to tell me that I "wouldn't know what I had until it was gone". Being the age I was, I just thought that all adults were complicated and cryptic and went back to whatever doing what a typical child would do. But now, after everything that's happened, I understand what they meant. Exactly what they meant.

So if you lost a sister, someone's lost a mom
And if you lost a dad then someone's lost a son
And they're all missing out, yeah they're all missing out

I know other people have lost relatives. I know that quite well. I know that I'm undoubtedly the cause of some people losing relatives. I never thought once in that machine that I was risking the lives of innocent people. All that was swirling around my head was how I was avenging my parents. That thought was clouding my brain like a heavy fog.

So if you get a second to look down on me now
Mom, Dad I'm just missing you now

I know I keep saying this, but I ALWAYS think of how my parents would react if they could see me now. I want them to know how much I miss them. I miss them like... I can't describe it. I just miss them so much.

I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow
Oh if you could see me now

Would they understand why I did what I did? Would they understand how desperate I was after they died to end up pillaging London in a giant metal monstrosity?

Oh, oh
Would you call me a saint or a sinner?
Would you love me a loser or winner? Oh, oh
When I see my face in the mirror
We look so alike that it makes me shiver

Everyone told me that I had my mum's eyes. It makes me feel horrible that people see me and think that I'm some kind of monster, because I look like my parents and people will think of them being part of what happened.

I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow
Oh if you could see me now
Yeah I'm just missing you now
I still look for your face in the crowd
Oh if you could see me now
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow
Oh if you could see me now
If you could see, you could see me now.

God, I miss them so much.

A/N: I tried to warn you about the angst...

How was it? Good? Bad? Terrible?

REVIEW OR I WILL SET THE FORTRESS AFTER YOU! BE AFRAID!

With love (in a non-creepy way),

Lolidge19 (who has lost her awesome little arrows on her keyboard and is sad about it :( )

xxx