A/N: I'm sorry for the long delay! This chapter is mostly Alice and Thomas, I wanted to share a bit about Alice's past. There's so much more to the story but I haven't decided if I want to share it yet because I don't know how people are responding to Alice. I'll decide soon! The next chapter picks up immediately where this one leaves off and I'll post it tomorrow! I felt like there just wasn't room here. :]]

It was another five minutes before Alice finally heard the door to the attic creak. She stood from the trunk she had been nervously sitting on and smiled, ready to greet whomever Carson had sent to help her. She deflated like a balloon when her helper reached the top step.

"Will someone please explain to me exactly what the hell I'm doing up here with the likes of you?"

Alice sighed. "Thomas. I'm sure I don't know."

"This was your bloody idea, was it not?" He pushed past her to lean on the far wall. "Do me a favor, love, next time you have a daft idea that's going to take away the better part of the day? Don't involve anyone else."

She turned to face him and shrugged. "I really didn't know that he would send you up here. I expected a maid." She rolled her eyes and let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding, sitting back down on the trunk at her feet. "Actually, that's a lie, too. I expected him to stay up here with me."

Thomas pushed himself off the wall with a dangerous glint in his eye. "What's this now? Hoping for a bit of time with our favorite butler, were you?"

Alice looked up at him. "What? No. Yes. I mean, yes, I was. But not for whatever reason you're implying."

Thomas sat beside her, obviously not finished needling her. "Well for what reason were you hoping for time with him then?"

Alice suddenly rallied, sitting up a bit straighter. "That's hardly any of your business, is it?"

"I happen to think that it is my business now that I'm stuck in this blasted attic with you for god knows how long."

She bit her lip, looking away from him. She really did feel badly. "I'm sorry. I know."

Thomas sighed, looking for the first time since she had known him like a person and not a robot. "Look, Alice. Why don't you get busy cleaning this mess and we'll get the hell out of here."

She nodded. "Right. Okay."

He stood to help her move a trunk that she was struggling with. "And while you're cleaning you can tell me what you and Anna have been up to."

She shot him a look and said nothing. They did their best to move the trunk to the far wall out of the way, but even with both of them it was barely budging.

"I wonder what's in all of these. Do you know?" Alice asked, frustrated.

He sighed and looked at her. "How would I know that?" Her face fell a bit and she shrugged.

"I don't know. You've worked here for so long…"

For a reason completely unknown to him, he felt like humoring the woman a bit. She wasn't all bad and he could likely get some information out of her if he got her talking. He knelt in front of the trunk. "One way to find out."

He popped open the latch, unsurprised that it was unlocked. Most things in the attic were, as servants needed access to a laundry list of items throughout the year without having to search for a key each time.

Alice leaned over Thomas's shoulder, peering into the box, which they could now see was filled with hat boxes overflowing with paper.

"They're pictures!" She reached for one, leaning further into Thomas, who gave her a look of annoyance but didn't push her away.

"And letters." He fingered a yellowed page and read from the top. "My dearest love…They're love letters. Oh, perfect." His voice dripped with sarcasm and disdain.

Alice leaned back on her heels and furrowed her brow. "And why do you hate love so much, then?"

Thomas nodded almost imperceptibly and began digging through the boxes. "Not everyone belongs in a romance novel."

She sighed. "That is a true statement."

Anyone else might have missed the edge in her voice, but after a lifetime of scheming and looking for ins wherever he could, Thomas had trained himself to listen for opportunities. He turned to face her, leaning back against the trunk.

"And what about you, Alice? Do you belong in a romance novel?"

Alice flushed and tried to put some walls back up. "Of course not."

He smiled and raised his chin toward her, goading her. "Come on, now. Who was it?"

Alice looked at him blankly.

"The one who broke your heart."

Alice took a deep breath and felt a familiar weight settle on her chest every time she thought of her past.

"No one broke my heart, Thomas. Not all of us are carrying around a plethora of secrets just waiting to be uncovered." She stood and dusted off her dress, desperate for the conversation to be over.

"Not everyone. And not a plethora. But you. You have a secret, Alice. It's written all over your face."

Something in Alice knew that he wasn't talking about Mr. Carson or Mrs. Hughes or Anna or Lady Mary and, god help her, she was so tired of pretending like she was fine. She was so tired of pretending like her life was rosy and that she wasn't broken and bruised. The words were falling from her lips before she could even stop them.

"I was in love. It didn't work out."

Thomas nodded. "Why not?"

"The person I was in love with…I thought…but they weren't." Her voice quieted to a near-whisper and she was obviously talking more to herself than Thomas. "I would have done anything for her and she pretended like I had done something wrong. Like I had been a silly child all along." Her voice changed, steeling as she looked him dead in the eye. "I wasn't."

Thomas's eyes widened softly at her admission, not missing her choice of pronoun. So that's the weight that she carried. He looked at her for a moment. "I understand."

She shook her head. "I don't think you do."

"Don't be coy, Ms. Davies. You've heard the gossip about me, the new ones always do." He attempted to be sharp with her, but there was something else there, too. Exhaustion. Sadness. Acceptance. She couldn't completely tell.

She finally nodded and sank back to the floor in front of him and offered him the sweetest genuine smile. "It isn't important. There's always gossip in a house like Downton."

He shrugged. They sat in silence for a moment with Alice lost in memories and Thomas processing everything he had heard.

His eyes sparked with realization and he finally spoke. "The Felsham girl. That's who you were in love with."

For a brief moment Alice considered letting her defenses fly, pretending to have no idea what he was talking about. In the end she simply looked up and nodded. "Elizabeth."

"Well? Are you going to tell me what happened?" His voice lacked it's usual dark humor.

Alice clenched her jaw and then took a deep breath. Yes. She was going to tell him. She had to tell someone.

"I came to Felsham Hall when I was 15 years old. I was just a babe, really, but I was a hard worker and my mother was a friend of Mrs. Collins, the housekeeper, so I found a good place and made a good start. I was just a maid, you know, but Elisabeth and I were the same age…"

Thomas nodded.

"Anyway, we spoke sometimes when we saw each other. She was so sweet, warm. She never treated me like I was any different than she was. We were just…equals somehow. Going through the same things, I suppose. All 15-year-old girls do."

Thomas smiled and thought of Lady Sybil, kind and warm. "She sounds like someone I once knew."

Alice smiled noncommittally. "I was twenty when I took over as ladies maid." She smiled at the memory. "I was so happy. I thought that my entire life was on track for something good and solid. A good career, a fine home, and fair employers. But then suddenly there was Elisabeth." She paused and swallowed hard. "Working so closely with her, that kind of relationship, it allowed us to truly get to know each other, to spend time with one another. She was my best friend. I told her everything."

"And you loved her."

Alice nodded.

She thought that she could almost hear honest sadness in his voice as he continued, "And she didn't love you."

Her eyes widened and she shook her head. "No. No, she did love me. She did. We spent so many long nights talking and sleeping and…"

Thomas nodded and Alice looked away. "For a lot of years we were so happy. Our world was small but it was all that we needed." Her voice was a whisper, "It was all that I needed."

Thomas nodded in something akin to comfort, urging Alice to continue. "I should have known that we couldn't stay happy forever. Elisabeth was 28 and still unmarried and the Felsham's only daughter. That was totally unacceptable, of course. So they found her a match, gave her very little choice, and set a wedding date." Alice looked down at her hands, "He's quite lovely, actually. Kind."

Thomas's voice was low. "It doesn't sound like she had much of a choice either, love."

That seemed to spark something in Alice and she sat up a bit straighter and spoke a bit more firmly. "No. She didn't. But I think that she was glad of it. She and Jack…they're very good together. He'll make her happy." She looked down. "That's what she's told me."

Thomas almost flinched. "Ah."

"She explained to me very patiently," Cruelly. "that she and I had enjoyed a very lovely relationship as children but that it was time to grow up. Move on. But that she would appreciate my consideration toward moving with her to her new home."

"And you couldn't do that."

Alice shook her head and brushed a loose lock of auburn hair back. "I could have. Of course I could have. I would have gone anywhere with her."

Thomas furrowed his brow in confusion. "But?"

"Jack." The name hit the air like a rock and she suddenly felt a bit lighter.

Thomas looked confused.

"He's a good man. And he loves her. The match, it wasn't his idea, but he came to appreciate it, and her. The feelings he has for her? They're real." She held her head high and tried to disguise the sadness in her eyes. "I just didn't want to be a part of the problems in his marriage."

Thomas nodded slowly, feeling like he had gotten the last piece of a puzzle. "So you came here."

"I said goodbye to her," there was a slight pause as she counted, "34 days ago. And I have missed her every moment since. But that's not a life. Not for me. Or what I want for her."

They sat in slightly uncomfortable silence for another moment before Thomas suddenly jumped up and offered a hand to Alice, pulling her up.

"Come on, then. As much as I've enjoyed bonding over long lost loves I'd rather get this place tidied up before you start to tell me about your favorite dresses and ask to do my hair."

Alice bit back a laugh and helped Thomas close the trunk. She was thankful that he had broken the tension in the room and was immensely grateful that she had finally spoken of Elisabeth, that at least someone knew that she had been loved and had loved in return…and that she was now less than a whole person because of it.

She felt a bit uneasy that Thomas Barrow now had something on her, something that he would no doubt find a way to use against her, but she decided that that was a problem for another day.

He scooped a pile of blankets into his arms and moved them to the back of the room. "Alright, then. I've done you the great favor of listening to your heartbreak." He dropped the blankets. "The least that you can do it tell me what you lot've been up to all week."

She brushed a cobweb out of her face. "What?"

"You and Anna. And Mr. Carson. I know something's been going on, you won't try to deny it."

She stood firm. "I'm not denying anything."

He was almost smiling. "Well?"

She stopped what she was doing and looked at him. "If someone has a secret, it's certainly not mine to tell. I hope you would feel the same if you were carrying someone else's secret."

Thomas placed a stack of books down and looked at Alice, considering her for a moment before nodding. "I would." He paused to make sure that she understood that he was being sincere before continuing. "But I don't know why everyone is being so secretive. It isn't as if I won't get to the bottom of this."

Alice laughed. "Is that so?"

He looked mildly offended. "It is so. I'd be eavesdropping right now if I hadn't been exiled to this hell hole with you."

Alice stepped onto a step ladder and began fiddling with a set of ratty curtains hanging in the front of the attic. "Something tells me that you'd look a bit conspicuous standing outside of the butler pantry with a glass to the door."

Thomas reached up to help Alice with the fabric she was taking down. "They aren't in the butler pantry, they're in the guest suites getting ready for the party this weekend. It'd be quite easy to slip int…"

Alice almost fell off of her step stool. "What?!"

He furrowed his brow and looked around the room slightly, his voice confused. "They're making preparations for the weekend, checking to make sure the idiot maids are doing their jobs. What does it matter?"

"It matters! Honestly!" Alice threw the curtain at him and rushed toward the door, flying down the steps, leaving Thomas in a confused mess. This was not good. Oh, not good at all.

.

.

.

Mary and Anna had just begun to pull pillows from the enormous bed in the Blue Room, preparing to pull the sheets and blankets off and replace them with the finest linens that Mary had been able to find.

"Lady Mary, I really do think it's a very sweet thing that you're doing."

Mary smiled and shrugged a bit, tossing a pillow to the ground. "I hope so. I must admit that as the day looms closer I'm getting a bit nervous."

"Nervous? Why?"

Mary sighed dramatically but her eyes were smiling. "Anna. I'm overstepping my bounds a great deal, I do know that. Usually people let me, but…"

Anna nodded. "But you're worried that Mr. Carson won't."

Mary let out a loud, melodic laugh. "Oh, heavens no! Carson would let me get away with murder if he thought it would make me happy. No, it's Mrs. Hughes that I'm worried about."

Anna cocked her head to the side but continued to smile as she pulled the embroidered quilt away from the bed.

"Oh, Mrs. Hughes isn't so bad!" She laughed at the look that Mary threw her direction. "She's just a strong woman. Something that I would think that you would understand, milady."

Mary rolled her eyes and leaned against the bedpost. "You know, once, when I was quite young, fourteen, fifteen?" She shook her head. "I heard Carson telling Grandmama that he saw so much of Mrs. Hughes in me. She nodded politely but I could see the spark in his eyes as he said it. I considered it a compliment."

"That's sweet." Anna smiled but Mary was already back from her memory.

"Yes, well, in any event, I know what I would do if someone hijacked my evening in an effort to surprise me. Let's hope that we aren't as similar as people seem to think."

It was Anna's turn to laugh now as she dumped the remainder of sheets in the corner of the room. Mary was arranging vases and candles on the mantle above the fireplace when they both froze.

"Shh!" Mary ran to the door. "It can't be. What are they doing?!"

Anna eased in beside her, doing her best to stay silent. With her ear pressed lightly to the door she gasped. "Oh my good lord!"

In the hallway, clear as day, were the voices of Charles and Elsie, coming very quickly in the direction of the Blue Room.

Mary looked at Anna with a panicked expression, which Anna tried not to return as she scurried toward the corner of the room.

"Grab the quilt. I'll get the pillows."