Something You've Read Before

Chapter Thirty two

Saving Others

"The principal is resigning."

Hotaru's words put a stop on Yuu and Mikan's current conquest of reviewing their test scores, their eyes connected with Hotaru's before briefly looking back at each other. Their group turned quiet the moment they took their seats and brought out their test papers for review. Yuu was satisfied with his performance, Hotaru told herself that she could do so much better next time despite the excellent scores, while Mikan took note on subjects and topics she must focused more on the rest of the school year. Even if the whole school talked about it, they did not yet come to the point of discussing the situation in their level. No one blurted it out until now and that was maybe because Hotaru lost the patience of waiting for Mikan to tell it all. She calmly waited the whole week for her to open it up to the group, tolerated Mikan's quiet episodes, and enriched her knowledge of the situation through the reports given to the Student Council. Hotaru simply noted the nonverbal gesture Mikan showed and decided from there her next move. She knew this was a delicate time for the brunette.

Yuu crossed his arms, resting his back to the chair in order to find a more comfortable position while his test papers became fully -snubbed. "Yes, he is. The students know him as some puppet of The Board yet he resigned."

Kazumi Yukihara's image was not the finest because he was tagged as a supreme follower of The Board so his resignation because of the same board came out as a surprise. Although, that was not confirmed and started out as a rumor, students liked to make their conspiracy theories that somehow resembled the truth. The principal still went to Alice Academy wearing his usual stance, smug smile on his good-looking face. His weariness disappeared the moment he announced his resignation to his faculty, like a bird out of a cage. He never confirmed nor denied any reason associated to his leaving except to Narumi and Mikan thus why it remained controversial until the end. Instead of entertaining the rumors and the news, Kazumi focused his energy on transferring all the responsibilities and training to the new person assigned to his position. The academy did not go far and appointed the assistant principal so the rapport between the two did not even have to be developed because it was already established which made the transition smoother.

The timing made Hotaru's eyes squint the moment she heard the news because she already had a guess that it was not as simple as that, that it involved people whom she knew well, that there was a deeper reason rather than nothing. With Mikan acting like she was on the road for a guilt trip, her assumptions soon turned into facts but she waited patiently for Mikan to spill it until Hotaru's patience ran out. Still, Hotaru chose not to be frank about it because she had also something she must tell Mikan but preferred to delay it because her calls went unanswered last night.

"You're awfully quiet but your face screams that you know something."

Mikan did not bother to hide it from her friends because they detected lies quicker than a fox. "He just wants a peaceful life," she replied to Hotaru's statement.

"Was it done to get back to you?" asked Hotaru.

Mikan shrugged her shoulders. "Indirectly, maybe. But, it was mostly his decision. If you look at Principal Yukihara now, it seems like a heavy weight has been lifted from his shoulders."

"How about Mr. Narumi? Is he fine?"

"What do you mean?" Mikan asked, confused.

Hotaru sighed, looking at her surrounding, and in a low voice she said, "If Kaoru can easily make the principal resign to get back to you, imagine how easier she can do that to your father. Hopefully, nothing of that sort happens."

They began walking to the direction of the school gate, stopping to a vending machine to buy three sodas which they drank together. Standing on the side of the wide pathway of the school gave the same feeling as if they were on a park, letting the time pass by just watching others because they missed their own way of bonding. Mikan crushed her can and shoot it basketball style to the bin and Yuu copied the action with a chuckle. Hotaru just slightly shook her head while grinning at the act which looked fun in its own way but also childish. They paused for a moment as if savoring the peacefulness of the atmosphere and the fact that the number of students lessened by the minute, giving them a sense of privacy.

"Kaoru Hyuuga is doing a good job in altering other's people lives and she attempted that many times to you and you're still here," said Hotaru.

Yuu glanced at Mikan who was tapping her foot out of awkwardness, saying, "Well, Mikan is a strong girl."

"I am strong because I have you guys," replied Mikan. After a long silence, Mikan bit her lip then turned to Hotaru, saying, "I'm sorry I wasn't able to pick up your calls last night. I was quite busy."

Hotaru knew exactly what caught Mikan's full attention last night and she could not help but furrow her eyebrows and frown as a reaction. "It's alright. Did it at least go well?"

Mikan smiled sadly. "Yeah, sort of," she replied.

All the while Yuu looked at his two friends with confusion while he was upset over the fact that among the three of them, it was him who received news the most late. He kind of understood the natural connection girls had when it came to rumors, issues, or sharing of facts. Yuu simply frowned as he looked at Mikan, making eye contact to Hotaru as if asking confirmation if it was okay to ask further. Hotaru only raised her eyebrows and gave a light nod.

"What was it about, Mikan?" asked Yuu.

There was a snort and then the sad smile returned. "Oh, you know, daddy issues and family problems. I think the end is near, though."

Mikan wanted to reassure her friends that she was in agreement on how things turned out but refused to divulge specific details about last night. She was in the state of keeping it to herself for now but promised to Hotaru and Yuu that she would tell them when everything settled. Good thing that understanding was natural in both of Hotaru and Yuu's being and they always assessed the situation and chose not to force Mikan to spill the beans. They began walking to head home along with other students who were excitedly talking about where to celebrate the end of the toxic week. They also talked about their plans to revisit the ramen shop they went before until they noticed that they were in front of it. Laughing as they looked at each other and entered the place, they quickly punched in their orders after carefully choosing a seat, and enjoyed their hot meal.

Thankfully, the atmosphere turned into a festive one with Mikan revealing all her comedic experiences while taking the entrance exam for Alice Academy and attending her very first Opening Ceremony. She claimed that being quiet and her fear of socializing caused her the chance to be in the Drama Club and become one of the popular students like all the key members of the said club. As a reaction, Hotaru rolled her eyes while Yuu almost coughed out his noodles. All of them knew that Mikan was just bluffing and had zero interest in entering the popular clique although she was inherently friendly and people had the tendency to approach her.

The ramen shop indeed became a trend to Alice Academy students because the number of visitors clad in uniform increased as the night fell. Well, not only it was close to school but it was also near to other known cafés and clothing stores. Since it was cold and breezy outside, customers sought warmth from the shop which was given without difficulty because of the heater and the hot soup. Yuu asked for another serving of noodles for them while adding ice cream for dessert. Their tummies felt unlimited at that moment and Mikan just had to capture their faces and took a photo of them. The moment was captured not just in Mikan's phone but also in her heart. For the year ahead, she wondered how many opportunities they could get to celebrate like this and how many of them would remain in contact after high school.

Mikan delved into a deep thought as she blankly stared at a random wall then snapped out of it in time for a surprise. Maybe the heavens knew when a person was feeling down because just as they were waiting for their second order, Sumire's voice echoed in the ramen house. Mikan's head automatically turned to the entrance, speechless as her two friends walked toward them. Sumire brightened up instantly upon seeing the first comers, saying hi so casually that Mikan lit up om the idea that her visit was not spontaneous at all. She asked if she could take a seat and of course she was most welcome. Koko was on a gamely mood as he raced Sumire to the better seat which earned him a smack in the head and soon gave up the seat beside Yuu. The crowd was getting larger but the space was enough to hold them. No wonder Hotaru took time in choosing their place. This very scene reminded Yuu of their lunch time escapades and so he also felt that in a while, the number of people present was just temporary.

"I know three's a crowd but the more, the merrier," Hotaru said when Mikan looked at her knowingly.

No one said it outright but Hotaru knew well that Mikan was going through something and it might be because of Youichi's pending adoption under Child Services. If Subaru hinted it to her, he probably mentioned it first to Mikan. So, Izumi arrived in Tokyo last night in the Imai residence, stating that he needed to see Mikan right away because his questions would only be answered by her. When the phone calls of Hotaru to Mikan remained unanswered, Izumi made a move and went directly to Narumi's house to wait for Mikan. Assuming that the father and daughter met last night, they surely reached a conclusion that did not sit well on Mikan but she had to abide by it because the need weighed more than the want.

And if Hotaru's gut feeling was near the truth, then she really had to make Mikan feel that she definitely was not alone. The kind of person Mikan grown to be was the one who found comfort in just seeing her friends together. Luckily, Mikan had true friends who also knew her. Sumire became a success in showing subtlety. Upon receiving the text from Hotaru to come into the said ramen shop, she did not utter any question and followed diligently. Because Hotaru never done anything without a reason, Sumire ought to find it upon her entry to the restaurant. She was welcomed by the staff and bowed as a reply, dragging Koko through his sleeve as she searched for their friends. Sumire happily waved at them and bade her greeting as if they had a plan to meet there beforehand. Her eyes travelled from Hotaru who only made a small nod to her, then to Yuu who waved back with the same excitement, then to Mikan who looked at her with joy.

"Have you guys eaten already?" Sumire asked while scanning the menu, "Oh no, we have to get this!"

Koko agreed without even looking at the menu, eyes never leaving his mobile game. "Whatever you want, I will want it, too."

"Okay! Then, two orders of this super spicy ramen and let's add some chili sauce on top!" Sumire called.

Koko instantly dropped his phone and pulled Sumire's raised arm. "No! I don't like spicy food, you know that."

Sumire huffed and removed Koko's hold. "Then, Koko darling, why don't you pay attention next time?"

"I promise I'll be obedient!" Koko exclaimed and took the ordering role instead. They ended up having two set meals, maki, and coffee jelly to eradicate the satiety.

Mikan liked the funny relationship Sumire and Koko formed over the years and the fact that they were not hiding their imperfections was admirable to anyone who could see. This made her looked back on the type of relationship she had with Natsume. It was also filled with humor, drama, family problems but everything seemed beautiful. Mikan would not have it any other way. Now, she reflected at her relationship with her friends. Mikan asked herself if she became the truest version of herself to her friends and wished she was because they deserved nothing but the best. No one from them deserved anything less so Mikan would not let anything happen to them especially in the hands of Kaoru Hyuuga.

There was this relief that only friends could give and Mikan was experiencing it firsthand. She was not looking for consolation but she was feeling consoled. She never told anyone that she needed a distraction but Hotaru already knew what to do. It did not surprise Mikan at all when Yura came with Anna and Nonoko. Since their seat was good for only six people, the ramen shop decided to just connect another table with theirs to accommodate a maximum of ten people. More stories were told and the laughter just wouldn't end and so did the food from coming. The night was young and their group was yet complete so Mikan already expected Natsume coming with Ruka.

"You guys seem to be having fun," Ruka greeted and made his way beside Hotaru. "I heard lots of stories about the ramen here."

Koko patted Ruka in the shoulder and said, "Soooo good!"

"You found us quickly," Yura said.

"Yome's voice isn't hard to detect," Natsume said then turned to Mikan, "Can I sit here?"

The crowd went quiet for a while as they found the question unlikely of Natsume to ask because he was the type of guy of to make actions, not questions. Both Mikan and Natsume noticed the stare given to them by friends so Mikan dismissed what everyone had in their minds by smiling and saying, "Do you even have to ask?"

Natsume smiled back, aware of the attention being paid to them but chose to ignore them. He observed the food being served and remembered the conversation he had with Mikan about this ramen shop. "Well, what do you know, Polka? We're all here." He was looking at Mikan now. In his eyes, she smiled wholeheartedly, enjoying the company of everyone, and doing all of these while making eye contact with him. He knew that it comforted her to have everyone here.

Their separation last night definitely caused a different vibe in their relationship and they both hoped it was for the better. Although, better did not always mean that it was what they wanted but it was what they needed given the situation. Good thing that they both agreed to be always there for each other and that was more than enough.

"You'll love the food here," Mikan promised.

Tea was served to Natsume which he sipped immediately. "I know. I believe you."

The crowd became more energetic with their completeness and as Ruka stated additional orders, teasing loomed as to whom who will pay for everything which made Ruka protest. But, of course, they were just bluffing and only wanted to get a reaction from him. Mikan watched them with longingness, hoping that things would stay the same. She shook her head and chose to believe in the foundation of their friendship. They had been through ups and downs, supported each other without asking for anything in return. They shared many occasions filled with laughter, embarrassments, growth, and this was what Mikan only needed to be sure. Because last night kind of dictated her future decisions but she would not let this wonderful group be affected. Last night happened exactly like this.

Mikan took her time in appreciating the front view of her house. The view which passersby usually saw first upon encounter but immediately forgot about the next moment they found a more spectacular house, the view where Mikan mostly got a good look of her residence then inculcate in her mind that she was living in Tokyo now and probably for the rest of her life. She sniffed, tapped her foot on the ground to feel its solidness, and placed both hands on the pocket of her coat as if searching for her phone which had been contacted many times earlier. The phone rang once again and Mikan knew it was time to face reality. She thought she could prolong the time she spent with Natsume for a little longer but she had to go home at once. It maybe was all too much for one night but delaying the confrontation would hurt them more.

Narumi called multiple times and sent a bunch of text messages telling that Izumi was on his way to Tokyo and then in less than a few hours, he saw his brother and Izumi relayed his purpose of wanting to see Mikan. A quick wondering occurred to Narumi if everything was alright but then Izumi suddenly being in Tokyo meant that there was trouble brewing somewhere and if he went here to hurt Mikan again, Narumi would surely not let it pass. Although, a couple of hours went by for the sake of waiting for Mikan, still Izumi remained calm, enjoyed his tea and dinner, and even made small talk with Narumi. It was Izumi's most decent visit to date ever since Yuka's death. Their relationship as brothers had a crack far from healing and they did not know where they stood now, if there was even a reconciliation possible in the future. But, Narumi was sure that he could easily forgive once Izumi learned how to forgive also.

The awkward silence between the two brothers halted when Narumi received a message from Mikan confirming that she was on her way home. He immediately told Izumi about it and the latter asked if they could talk privately. Narumi only nodded as a response and prepared to welcome Mikan with the plan of briefing her somehow regarding the uncertain situation. Only a few minutes passed, the door finally clicked and Narumi stood from his sitting position, eyeing Izumi at the same time before going. Honestly, Narumi felt worried about the situation but he knew it had come to a point that this meeting became inevitable. It was just rare since it had always been Mikan who instigated their meetings and not him.

When Narumi saw Mikan, she just stood there as if contemplating the situation before her but looking so calm. Narumi's memories disturbed him, almost feeling guilty upon remembering how he implied to Natsume that their relationship needed some serious consideration because many people had been affected already. Mikan already changed her slippers, hung her scarf and coat, smiled at herself for wearing the wrong side of slipper, and boosted her courage to face her father. The fact that they already reached an agreement to let Youichi know about her existence was already proof that they were past the relationship wherein they always screamed at each other. Mikan hugged Narumi without saying anything which made him think of what seemed to be different in his daughter but the hug which became tighter caught his full attention.

"He's looking for you."

Mikan nodded then broke the hug. "I'll talk to you later."

"I'll wait."

They said that in our lifetime, we meet people in an insane amount but only a few them stayed and fewer became your constant. By constant, it meant that they became your go to people whenever you had problems or when you were experiencing success and happiness. Mikan already determined a long time ago who were the constants of her life that even if times changed their relationship with each other, what they had before would never go away. She had Narumi who treated her like his real daughter, her friends since childhood, and Natsume. No matter what happened, she could always count on them. As she walked towards Izumi, Mikan realized that she wished to include her immediate family to her constant and how to make that happen already crossed her mind. Since she and Natsume decided to put others first, then this was the first step.

"Hi."

Trying to be casual was the first thing that crossed Mikan's mind when deciding how she would deal with her father and it came out flawless. They stood there eye to eye, waiting for the other to speak first and lead the conversation until they both understood that it was Izumi's turn to talk. He glanced sideways and returned to his seat while Mikan waited for him to state his reason for coming.

"They're taking Youichi away."

Mikan tried her best not to mock the situation because this was exactly the doing of Kaoru Hyuuga but an irritated smile escaped her lips. "Who?" she asked.

"Child Services," Izumi said with contempt, "I was reported to be an unfit parent to Youichi for having no stable income. I am trying to negotiate things with Hinami and we agreed that everything will be settled better if we meet face to face. So, I have actually two reasons why I am in Tokyo." He was out of breath when saying this.

On how to react to that, Mikan felt her body tremble, finding the nearest seat and sought support from the couch. She ran a hand to her mouth, sighing deeply, then looked at Izumi with blurriness until her vision adapted and she was met with Izumi's state of despair. There went her father who found a chance of a new beginning, only to be brought down again by unforeseen circumstances. It was difficult to find your footing in this vast world and the people of Japan was known for their competitiveness so one must stood out. Mikan's fear was becoming true as the second passed by and she knew that not long after, Izumi would blame her again for this.

"When are they taking him away?" She was avoiding her father's gaze, face remained neutral and unreadable despite the tension inside her.

Izumi stopped a bit to digest Mikan's words, stating his observation. "Anytime soon. You are surprisingly calm about this. Did you know this was gonna happen?"

Mikan giggled cynically, feeling like she was caught from a secret she was not hiding in the first place. The look Izumi gave her made her feel guilty somewhat although if she studied it carefully, her conscience was clear. "I actually expected her to go after you and Youichi first so I am not all that flustered now that you're here, telling me this."

"First?" Izumi asked, puzzled by the fact that he was just being aware of it now when the whole world seemed to know, "What do you mean by that?"

At the start of the relationship, Mikan received warnings multiple times from Ioran, Aoi, Tsubasa, and Nobara that being with Natsume meant trouble for others. She actually thought that Kaoru coming after the Student Council meant that was the real blow because by logic, one should go after Mikan's biggest failure yet and that was her family. Kaoru did not do that and Mikan relaxed a bit. Natsume found her father a job, Narumi's position as a teacher remained as it was so far, and even Principal Yukihara agreed with the termination. Mikan underestimated Kaoru's multitasking ability and did not imagine that the Hyuuga would come after the school and her family simultaneously. Then, she realized that she only had her determination to fight against a giant, that she had no actual ability or power to contradict everything Kaoru said against her. Suddenly, voices of Narumi and Natsume occupied Mikan's head, voices telling her that she deserved everything she had on her hands now. She shook her head, forgiving herself for being confident since she had every reason to be.

"You were approached by Kaoru Hyuuga, am I right?"

Hearing the name returned feelings of irritation and apprehension to Izumi. "You know her."

"He's Natsume's mother and she does not approve of our relationship." It was the simplest explanation that Mikan came up with. Everyone knew about it except her immediate family.

"I know."

Mikan's eyebrows almost met. "How?" she asked.

"She told me."

At that moment, Mikan mocked herself, considering the situation more unpleasant as it went longer. "And?"

"I told her that I've got nothing to do with you. Honestly, I thought she was a fraud until Child Services came in and inspected my house," Izumi frowned at the memory but decided that he was not here to relive that incident, "So, when did this start happening? I'm sure this is not the first time."

A tone of concern emerged from Izumi which surprised Mikan a bit. "What do you mean?"

Izumi shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, you know, the first time that she did something like this. Power tripping."

Mikan nodded upon picking up what he was trying to ask and chose to be honest about it. Sugarcoating things at this time proved to be futile. Since it appeared to be that nothing was a secret anymore. "Ever since," she replied. Although, that sounded like Mikan entered a relationship with an abusive in-law. She hoped that Izumi did not interpret it that way.

"And you're still with him?"

"Yes. We're not doing anything wrong and we love each other."

Izumi crossed his arms, massaging his forehead to relive this sudden headache that bothered him. A full on disbelief took over his demeanor as he considered Mikan's words a laughing stock. Clearly, his biological daughter continued to parade her selfishness even in this department. No teenager would stay at a relationship destroying other people's lives because it was doomed from the start and their efforts were just going to be wasted. This lovely relationship Mikan was talking about should face reality. Izumi stood from his seat, walking back and forth to composed his thoughts. He glanced at Mikan several times who was just anticipating his next action and Izumi took that as a challenge, to finally talk sense to his daughter.

"What else did Kaoru Hyuuga do?" Izumi asked, his voice turned a bit higher than normal. Annoyance painted his face when Mikan refused to answer him. "You said she had been doing this ever since, right? That means we're not the only victims. Who are the others, Mikan?! What did your relationship cause others?"

Mikan gaped, eyes widening upon hearing her very name straight out from her father's mouth. She almost believed that Izumi forgot her name but now that he said it with anger, Mikan at least knew that he knew. This was when she started tearing up. Tonight was too much for her. She did not need another adult telling her that she was wrong, that she was responsible for the calamity of others. Natsume repeatedly told her not to blame herself and so did Narumi but she always fell on that trap. If not for her, noting like this happened. Mikan ran a hand through her hair, biting her finger to stop her tears from falling.

"So, is not putting other people at a disadvantage wrong? Can you imagine what would happen to Youichi if they successfully get him? Can your conscience handle that? Or do you really have no conscience? Can your love talk to Child Services?" Izumi ranted, pausing for a while to receive some response but the only sound he got was the cries Mikan emitted. Still, he pursued his questions, "Come on, tell me."

Sniffing, Mikan wiped her tears and reasoned out. She was out of words and the only thing she said was the general idea. "No, but we can find a way."

"What way? They're already taking him in a few days!" Izumi yelled, revealing his gruesome panic of losing Youichi. His emotions showed through his eyes, his stare remained at Mikan for a long time.

Mikan was aware that Izumi wanted to get something from her, the easiest way out, and his presence towered over hers, the pressure was unspeakable. She broke eye contact and looked for the nearest window. Their yelling might reached Narumi's ears by now but Mikan did not want him to interrupt yet because this moment was crucial. "Well, you're here to find a way. What makes that different from–"

"Because it's obvious that to stop this, you only have to break up with him!" screamed Izumi. This halted Mikan because that was always the unmentioned way to stop Kaoru but no one dared to say it except for Izumi. It really had to be her father of all people. Izumi did not stop there and continue his tirade, "Do you want more people to suffer? If that Kaoru Hyuuga can do this to us, how long do you think Narumi can keep his job? What if she ruins your future? Are you still okay with that? Can your boyfriend save everything you have?"

Struggling with fear was Mikan's forte. She lived with it for years to learn how to live through it. Izumi enumerating all her fears indeed became one of her most terror experiences. Others seemed to be losing everything they had as Mikan continued choosing herself. If anybody was asked, it sounded really unfair.

"I am not Natsume's responsibility. Natsume is not responsible for his mother's actions."

"Have you thought about his guilt? What if he turns his back on you? Who do you think will be left at a disadvantage? Him?!" Kazumi slumped at the couch out of frustration. He dangled his arms in the rest as he said, "Just because he pays attention to you now doesn't mean he will stay forever."

"I am not seeking anybody's attention! If I am, maybe because what happened to our family caused this but I'm not! I don't' despair for anybody's attention. I am just happy to be loved."

That made Izumi stood from his seat, walking toward Mikan. "Don't you dare turn this on me."

Mikan pinched her shoulder, finding it hard to clarify herself because the meaning of her words kept on being unheard. "Daddy, I'm not. It's just that you're wrong. What Natsume and I feel, it's not superficial. You should know that considering how much you love Mom."

"I love Yuka but we never stepped on others to fulfill that love."

The big difference slapped Mikan in the face but the hardest point was located at her chest, through her heart. Little by little she was losing this fight against everyone who did not know her story with Natsume. She took a good look at her father whose tendency of not moving on ate his confidence and strength in every aspect. Their conversation tonight had no difference at all. It turned out to be the same blaming game they played for nine years and it suffocated Mikan to the core. She refused to get used to it, loathed the fact that whatever issue she was trying to resolve with Izumi, they always got to the part when their family broke into shards of glass.

"I'm sure there are other ways. A way where we could all win." Mikan said this but she was not sure of it as well.

Izumi laughed maniacally until he was almost out of breath. "Then, how do you supposed to stop them from taking Youichi away?" he asked to challenge Mikan but he was convinced that Mikan had no concrete plan about it.

Mikan continued on staring at her father. "I don't know. Talk to them to give us more time perhaps?"

Being a big believer that nothing cannot be fixed by a good talk did not help Mikan in convincing herself that it alone was enough to solve the problem. As she studied the situation carefully and as her conversation with Izumi lengthened, she realized that this might have been solved if actions were taken earlier. Mikan kind of missed the crucial point here and all left was how she would manage to save the rest, to save what was left on her family. Her heart was tearing apart but she had no time for a breakdown. Nothing was going right but she had to know her priorities and act on it. This was one of those times when it felt exhausting to be strong but she had to because it was the only thing keeping her from falling apart.

"Not only my financial capability but your health records came out to the reasons as well. They don't think that Youichi is in a safe place holistically."

Mikan imagined Youichi's reaction when he heard about this. He was born with a strong personality, a sharp mind, and great emotional control despite his age so there was a big chance that he understood every bit of this new development in their lives. A big chance that Youichi was hating the situation he was suddenly put in Izumi's words echoed to Mikan, fully knowing the meaning of each word. It was problematic to fight against stigma and Mikan thought she accepted that there were some things that would not go away but it still made her wince every time someone questioned about her capability mentally.

"I don't want to lose, Natsume. Daddy, he changed my life, your life is about to change because of him," Mikan said in trembling voice until she could no longer hold her droplets of tears, "I love him."

The first time Izumi saw Yuka had been a bright, airy day. He was busy with organizing the newly delivered raw materials while Yuka did her best in facilitating the tour of the place to induce interest to the elementary students. He knew they were coming and he saw the list of visitors so it was no brainer for him to approach the supervising teacher who happened to be Yuka. She had a fair complexion, brown hair just above her shoulders, her eyebrows were thick with the same color, lips slightly red because of the shade she put on. Yuka exuded the interest to the shop that her students supposed to have, with eyes flaring every time Izumi explained the process of producing a product. She was not exactly soft spoken because the confidence was audible in her tone when she spoke but there was gentleness in her words. Something in her caught Izumi's attention and when he had the chance of better knowing her, he realized that it was Yuka's big heart which captured him.

Their relationship was far from perfect and they even had the biggest fight of their lives where they almost broke up. But, love prevailed because they were destined to be together and life would never be the same again without the other. Izumi knew what was love and how beautiful it felt like. When Mikan said that he should know how she felt, he wanted to deny it to himself at first but it was no use. Just from seeing Mikan's eyes, Izumi knew that what she felt for Natsume Hyuuga was one of the realest things in this universe. Sadly, at her age, love should not be her priority.

"Listen, Mikan, I am not a good father, right? And mending our family might be harder than we thought. I don't have any personal grudge against Natsume because he helps me to bounce back. I don't want to ask anything from you because we are not in that state anymore, for the longest time. But, I am asking you now, if you don't want to lose your brother or the tiny grain left in our relationship, make sure you solve this problem."

Mikan smiled after sensing her world stopped. She looked down, hair hiding her broken face, saying, "Okay."

"Hey, Mikan."

The kind of voice that was effective in bringing her senses back called out. It was Sumire with her backpack hanging on just one shoulder. She was playing with the mist coming from her mouth, rubbing her hands together, and finally placing it on her reddish cheeks. Eventually, the cold Sumire experienced had been ignored because of her extraordinary interest with how was Mikan doing. She had sharp senses and she knew how to use it well. The others already walked ahead of them, talking about the place where they separate into different directions. Sumire purposely walked slower in order to keep up with Mikan's pace and interrupt the brunette's trip to memory lane. It was obvious that Mikan was not her hundred percent cheerful self today.

Slowly eyeing Natsume who was casually talking to Yuu and Koko, ambivalence surged in Sumire's judgment because either nothing was really wrong and her imagination was just creative or these two were plain good actors. Sumire pursed her lips as she thought of what beneficial things to say next. They had been sweating inside the ramen shop because of their spicy orders and the heat of the soup so it was nice to be back on the comforts of the cold. Sumire bet that everyone, since their tummies were full, was in the mood for a sensible talk. She was afraid that Mikan would shun her approach. That could be possible but not after a hearty meal.

"Yes?"

"Hotaru told me to call everyone for dinner since you're feeling down. I thought it was because of the exams but you are clearly the kind of person who doesn't get upset about that."

Mikan giggled. "Well, I have average grades."

Sumire flipped her hair then put her hands on her waist. "I've said this before and I will say this again."

"What?"

"I'm a fan of you and Natsume. If something is wrong and if it's something I or the whole group could help with, we are more than willing."

Sumire's sincerity glowed from her eyes and the way that she put her hand on her chest. Mikan felt taken aback with the offer. Even if Mikan knew that her friends would be there for them, it still gave a different kind of feeling when someone validated it and in this case it was Sumire. The sense of security Sumire's brief speech made Mikan smile and as she took Sumire's hands, she said in the warmest of tone, "Thank you."

The past couple of days felt like losing everything that Mikan built through the years but she did not know that in hindsight she was also gaining something every day. Mikan watched Anna stopping for a charm bracelet in her zodiac stone and the rest of the girls checked out theirs including Hotaru. The boys suddenly got pressured into buying their girlfriends one but it was only Yuu who ended up buying the bracelet for Anna while the others looked for an accessory more fitting to their taste. Natsume mouthed if Mikan wanted one which she did not get at first but when she realized the question, she shook her head. No more gifts from Natsume since she received more than enough.

Koko got distracted with the hot buns and got followed by Ruka who craved for the food. Mikan eyed her favorite street food but decided that she was too full for it. When everybody finished their respective businesses, the resumed the walk and according to Yura they only had 300 meters until they get to the station. Mikan nodded along with the others, preferring to be walking at the end of the line. Soon, Natsume joined her after giving his girlfriend time to walk without much thinking.

"You two seem to be talking about something serious."

Mikan snapped her fingers and pointed at Sumire who was busy pestering Hotaru this time. "I admire Sumire's instincts. Top notch, indeed."

"And Koko is the lucky victim."

Halting from her steps, Mikan said with head down low, "I'm afraid us, too."

Natsume glanced at their group for a moment, meeting Hotaru's knowing gaze. They nodded at each other as if they were aware that this was an anticipated moment. Mikan watched her friends give them the solo time that was bound to happen. She spotted an empty bench a few meters away from the bus stop and in a minute they were already sitting on it, watching the light traffic of Tokyo at night. She had her hands under the pocket of her coat, admiring the trees that used to be filled with leaves and flowers but all that remained now were its branches.

No one dared to talk first, choosing silence until they felt like digging the problem. Mikan kept on glancing at Natsume handsome features, giggling inside because of all the girls who had the chance, it was her beside him. Natsume caught her stares, pulling Mikan's brown, wool hat to her face and when she completely remove it, he stole her hands and intertwined with his. She closed the gap between them, leaning her head on the space between his shoulder and chest. Natsume took this an opportunity to kiss the top her head, inhaling her scent in the process, thinking how he would never get used to its sweetness. It was always a new experience when it came to her shampoo scent and natural perfume. Mikan clutched Natsume's coat with force, signifying her frustration and canned feelings that could burst anytime.

"Mikan, tell me what you need."

No answer was given because Mikan refused to address the statement. Instead, she hugged Natsume through his torso, ensuring that she made every second count. Natsume asked her again but she just buried herself deeper into his arms. While Mikan knew very well what she had to say, she believed that buying time could help her sanity a little. She knew that Natsume would keep on asking and she would stay silent as long as she could. This was the moment she never dared to imagine. She hated that it was her who had to do it.

"Come on, you can tell me."

Natsume prepared himself for the impact. When Mikan fidgeted a little, he knew she was ready to talk.

"Natsume, I think my family needs me now more than ever," Mikan said, facing him eye to eye, "You know how we are facing choices every day, we keep on deciding on everything. What uniform and socks to wear, what food to make, what drinks to buy. Every day I choose to live because I have so many reasons to do so. But, what if I have enough of that and today I choose to live so others can live also?"

The impact was almost here. The end was just in sight. He held her tighter, afraid that if he let go, she would be gone without his permission. A brewing sadness began inside him and that was when Natsume realized that he was holding his breath while his hands were trembling. He did not let her see that but Mikan felt the sudden shift in composure of Natsume.

"Polka, you are quite the philosopher and the charity worker. You have been helping others ever since I could remember."

Mikan laughed bitterly at his words, sniffing so she could stop herself from crying. "So, I am choosing."

Natsume gulped, disappointment towering over him as the seconds passed. He thought this was avoidable, that as long he made ways to work every problem out, it would not lead to this. He would never ask Mikan on what part he lacked because he was confident that Mikan would say that what he had done was more than enough. Random people passing by them had noticed the seriousness of their talk, sparing them stares as if they were analyzing the situation. Natsume got conscious for a bit until it evaporated as fast as thunder when Mikan touched his face. It seemed that he was not saying a word for a little while now.

"What's your choice then?" His question came out raspy, in a low tone. Even Natsume himself did not want to hear the answer but he had no choice because he had to.

This was when Mikan released her tears and sobbed. "I choose to save others."

On a public place, in front of strangers, they were discussing about the future of their relationship. Natsume really meant for this to last. He could do more, he thought. This was not his best yet, he wanted to tell Mikan. But, her eyes told him that the decision was final.

"Really, Mikan, that is your one trait which I have trouble loving," Natsume breathed then growled, "I hate this."

"Youichi is being taken away by Child services on grounds that my father is not capable of raising him. His job is just starting so there is just little time. He asked me what I could do. I have several ideas in mind but it always involved you. Natsume, I could never ask for your help all the time. This is my family's problem that I am about to fixed. I don't know who is going to be the next victim. Maybe my Dad or Serina, I don't know. I don't want to think about it. I won't even forgive myself if the next victim is you."

Natsume gritted his teeth. "She would never do that."

"Not directly at you but to the people you care about. How long should we keep this up?" Mikan retorted, "We really have to talk to her."

A resisting nod came out from Natsume. "I hate that it's up to us."

Mikan held calmly Natsume's closed fist. "Don't you find it more relieving? That it is up to us?"

Natsume came back after buying snacks from the convenience store, just in time that the gas got filled up to its maximum. They had at least three hours of drive ahead of them so they started early. The sun had not yet peeked and yet they were on their feet, heading towards the main house of the Igarashis where Kaoru was currently staying. Mikan attacked the iced coffee and donut as soon as Natsume laid on his seat, earning a laugh from the buyer. She had no time to eat breakfast at home because after coming home last night, she arranged her clothes and bag, took a bath, talked to Narumi about her plans, then fell asleep. A huge hesitation was visible in Narumi's words and expression. It was clear that he did not want her near Kaoru Hyuuga but Mikan insisted and said that this was bound to happen anyway. They were bound to confront each other.

Setting up the location on GPS was the last thing they needed to do before they went off. The way to the main house was a spectacular ride of greens, beaches, and wide roads seldom used. The sceneries were deserving enough to be in a postcard and Mikan satisfied herself by taking as many photos. Even the background music matched their journey which added to the free atmosphere. Mikan listened to the father and son talked about their usual topics of books, cooking, places to live. The number of jokes Ioran made and Natsume frowned upon already got past the number of her fingers so it was safe to say that Ioran had a big sense of humor and it was a trait that Natsume did not inherit.

"Are you ready to meet my ex-wife in her lair?" Ioran asked from the driver's seat.

Mikan smile despite chewing the donut. "Your humor is always as impressive, Sir." Natsume glanced back at her and snickered.

"I said call me Ioran," said Ioran while communicating through the rear view mirror, "Anyways, it's quite ironic that I will be your designated driver for today but I plan to do my best."

"Drive safely is all I could say," Mikan said.

Mikan kept on asking Natsume random and odd questions along the way as if to distract themselves. She asked about how roads in the mountains were made, the unique delicacy in their destination, repeatedly asked when they would eat, and then she asked both of them what they usually do for bonding and they both answered PSP. Silence occurred after an hour of conversation and Ioran had not wanted anything at that moment but to observe. Natsume suddenly offered his right hand backwards which confused Ioran but his dilemma got answered when Mikan took his son's hand and they stayed like that, holding hands. It seemed uncomfortable but no one minded. This was when it finally occurred to Ioran, the meaning of this trip.

When Natsume asked Ioran to arrange a meeting with Kaoru at the soonest possible time and if he could bring them there, of course he did as much as he could in a short span of time. Ioran decided to save the questions for later, when the time was right. So far, he did not yet find that timing and now they were on their way to the main house of one of Japan's most prominent families. Although, judging from the way Natsume and Mikan communicated through their eyes and little movements, acting like they were in their own world that was about to break apart, Ioran formed a hunch. He gripped harder the steering wheel and controlled his breathing. Soon, Ioran made a sudden stop at a lay bay, claiming that he needed to take a breather. He exited the car and walked back and forth while admiring the landscape before him.

Natsume hopped on the open trunk where Mikan ate her chips. He then opened two bottles of water, one given to Mikan then one for him. They both watched Ioran in his internal struggle.

"Do you think he's fine?" Mikan asked with mouth half full. She offered the chips to Natsume but giggled when she found out that it was already consumed. She proceeded in finding a napkin to wipe the remnants of the chips in her fingers and Natsume did the honors for her. Well, he knew the car better.

Natsume leaned his head on the left a little, squinting his eyes, then looked at Mikan. "He is more nervous than we are."

Mikan nodded, tapping her finger on the bridge of her nose. "Well, you said he still loves your mother," Mikan said as she crossed her legs and covered it with the remaining fabric of her coat.

"That's where I was wrong," Natsume clarified, "He said that it's not the same love."

Mikan did not know why but she felt sad upon hearing this. There were really people who changed each other's lives but that was not enough for them to last forever. She looked at Natsume and wondered if they would ever reach that point or their feelings would just immortalize. Glancing back at Ioran and realizing how some things were just temporary, Mikan felt her heart breaking. She hugged Natsume all of a sudden just in case she would not find the time to do it later. The wind was doing a good job in swaying their hair in various directions, almost covering their faces and it bothered Natsume. He asked for her scrunchy, messily tied her hair, looked straight into her eyes, and kissed her.

End of Chapter

After many revisions, rehash, arrggh, I finally came up with this chapter! I know it's been a while and I am glad to say that I am back for the meantime. A lot of you has expressed their thoughts of concern because of my last AN and I just want to say that I am thankful for your understanding and to your patience of holding onto this story even if there are no guarantees on when this will be updated. I must say that I spent more than two months in the hospital because of the lockdown and it's the kind of experience that opens your eyes and makes you want to do things even more. This situation has given me anxiety, uncertainty, I was depressed about a few things, I see my colleagues having worse experiences and I wonder if we are really alright. No worries, though! I can say that I am adapting and we're taking this day by day which is less stressful. Right now, I am on my 6th day of vacation and I won't be back on the hospital for the next couple of days so I am resting.

This AN may sound sad but do not worry because I think we can survive this. There's no way we can't. And, no matter how cheesy that sounds, I think that's the truth. I hope you are all safe and sound.

By the way, any prediction for the next chapter? Hmm.