PAN: It's not brit-picked, but I tried my best. I also don't have much experience with smut, but once again, I did my best.

John stumbled into the flat with his arms full of grocery bags, nearly spilling them all in his attempt to open the door. When he went through the sitting room, he saw that Sherlock was still sitting perched on the sofa, as he had been when John left, with John's laptop balanced precariously on his knees.

"Hey Sherlock, I'm back," he greeted and started putting food in the refrigerator. He sighed and moved three bags of blood, a jar containing three eyeballs and a human kidney in order to make room for the new groceries.

"You're back?" Sherlock asked. "Had you gone?"

John looked at him stunned. "Yes Sherlock. I left," he checked his watch, "about an hour ago. I told you that I was going shopping."

"I hadn't noticed," Sherlock commented flatly.

John sputtered. "You said good bye to me!"

"John, you can't blame this on me. You know that I talk to you even if you're not here." He typed a few words into the computer and folded his hands again.

"I thought you'd stopped that months ago," John grumbled and then added, "Tosser."

"John Hamish Watson, that's no way to talk to your boyfriend," Sherlock scolded with what could only be described as attempted playfulness.

John sighed. "You're also supposed to notice when your boyfriend leaves the flat for over an hour." John then returned to unpacking his groceries. He knew it would do him no good to argue with him. "Do you want a drink?" he called out to Sherlock. "I just restocked the tea, coffee, and hot coca."

"I don't need anything," he replied. "I'm working. This one is being particularly difficult."

"As a matter of interest," John began, "When was the last time that you ate anything?"

Sherlock gave up staring at the screen and closed his eyes. "What day is it?"

John looked at the calendar and answered "Thursday."

Sherlock said, "In that case, four days."

"Sherlock, that's not healthy." He left the kitchen and sat down beside him.

Sherlock sighed. "I know, and I understand why you are concerned, but this case is practically consuming me John. I've already gone to my mind palace six times since we got it, and still I've made little progress."

"Well, even though you say 'little progress,' you've already solved half the damned thing anyway." He snuggled a little closer to Sherlock. "You deserve a break."

"I can't stop now," Sherlock said matter-of-factly. "If I can just piece this last bit together, it'll be solved."

John leaned his head against Sherlock's shoulder. "Well, I don't know if it would work for you, but when I really need to remember something or figure something out, I just stop thinking altogether and clear my mind and it usually comes right to me."

"I don't understand how that works," Sherlock replied. "Even if it does, it sounds like something for idiots." John sat up and Sherlock quickly corrected himself. "Oh you know what I mean John. I wasn't calling you an idiot; I know how much you dislike that in light of our relationship."

John sighed and went back to resting in head on Sherlock's shoulder and put his hand on Sherlock's knee. "I know what you meant. You can just be a real pain sometimes. And speaking of which, if you drop my laptop and it breaks, you're buying me a new one."

Sherlock decided to ignore the last comment. "Well at any rate, I won't be able to solve the case by merely clearing my head. I think best when there are multiple things to mull over anyway. And besides, how would I even do that? My brain is always working at its pique."

John smirked and then he ran his hand up from Sherlock's knee to his thigh and whispered in his ear, "I think I know a way."

After a moment Sherlock closed the laptop and put it beside him on the couch and placed his feet flat on the floor. When he did, John moved over to straddle him and started playing with his buttons.

"And exactly how do you plan on temporarily discontinuing my brain functions?" Sherlock asked and John knew what that meant.

Talk dirty.

John kissed up and down Sherlock's long neck. He whispered, "Well first, I'm going to get you all hot and bothered."

Sherlock's eyes slid shut and he leaned his head back. "You're doing pretty well so far."

"Yeah?" He popped open the buttons on Sherlock's dark purple shirt and slid it off before unzipping his trousers. Sherlock lifted his hips and John shimmied his pants down as well and discarded them on the floor.

"Well this just isn't fair," Sherlock commented and ran his hands up the front of John's shirt. "You're still fully clothed."

John pulled his jumper over his head and tossed it with Sherlock's clothes, soon followed by his shirt, trousers, socks, and shoes until he was once again sitting in Sherlock's lap in nothing but his pants.

John grabbed ahold of Sherlock's erection and gave it a few agonizingly slow strokes.

Sherlock's voice was husky when he asked, "Now what do you want to do to me?"

"Well firstly, we're going to the bedroom," John replied and the two stood up. John kissed Sherlock and grabbed his arse and backed him into Sherlock's bedroom, which they had both been using. Their lips never broke contact. Sherlock laid back once he felt the backs of his legs hit the edge of the bed and John got on top of him on his thighs. He resumed jerking off his boyfriend and leaned down to kiss him again and whispered in his ear.

"I want to fuck you senseless Sherlock. I want you to not know anything except the pleasure I'm giving you."

Sherlock groaned. "Then you' better hurry up."

John grinned and took a tube of lubricant off of the nightstand. He scooted back and sat back on his heels and applied some to his fingers. He spread Sherlock's legs open and circled his entrance before slowly sliding his finger inside. Sherlock hissed.

John arched his eyebrows suggestively. "You like that?" He pushed his finger in further before beginning to thrust it in and out.

"Don't say something so stupid John; you know I do." He leaned his head back up against the headboard.

John licked up the side of Sherlock's erection and kissed the head. He reached his unoccupied hand down to rub himself through the fabric of his pants. He grasped his boyfriend's erection again and put it in his mouth and began to suck, simultaneously adding another finger.

Sherlock's mouth hung slightly open. He swallowed and quietly said, "John."

John took Sherlock as deep as he could. He swallowed and hummed a few times and Sherlock hissed and started moving his hips to get a little more of John.

John pulled his fingers out and took Sherlock out of his mouth, running his tongue along the underside and finally licking the slit of the head. Sherlock whimpered at the loss of contact.

"But Sherlock, I thought you wanted me inside of you." John grinned; he loved playing games with Sherlock. "But I guess I was wrong. Oh well." He shrugged and started to get out of bed, but Sherlock grabbed his arm.

"Dammit John do something,"

John smiled again. It wasn't often that Sherlock swore, but John loved it when he did.

He sighed. "Fine. If you insist." John slowly pulled his pants down and applied some more lubricant to himself. He aligned his erection with Sherlock's entrance and slowly pushed his way in.

"Damn Sherlock," John commented. "God it's been too long since we've done it this way."

Sherlock tried to find words, but simply nodded when he found himself unable to speak.

John began to slowly thrust his hips, and Sherlock rocked his to meet him.

"God Sherlock," John whispered.

Sherlock shut his eyes, but was not surprised when John leaned down to kiss him. He immediately opened his mouth to allow John inside.

Sherlock had both hands pressed into John's hips, but he removed one to jerk himself. John watched for a moment before batting Sherlock's hand away and replacing it with his own. He attempted to match the pace he'd already established, but his thrusts became erratic as he felt his orgasm mounting. John broke away from Sherlock's mouth and put all of his concentration into making this experience last.

Sherlock pressed his hands harder into John's hips harder and vice versa. Sherlock arched his back and released onto their chests and stomachs. Watching Sherlock come undone and writhe beneath him brought John to a finish. After he emptied inside of his boyfriend, he had just enough strength left to pull out and collapse beside Sherlock. After his breathing started to regulate and he once again regained the ability to move, he grabbed some tissues from the nightstand and wiped the two of them off before pulling the blanket over them.

"Your stamina has increased John," Sherlock commented between gulps of air. "As has your ability to suppress your gag reflex."

John turned red with embarrassment and smacked him on his shoulder. "Sherlock!"

Sherlock sighed. "You were right. It had been too long." He absentmindedly started playing with John's sandy hair before shooting up in the bed. "Clay!'

John looked bewildered. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Sherlock got out of bed and started pacing around their bedroom. "There were traces of clay sediments in the dirt on the shoes, which means that he couldn't have been anywhere near the crime scene at the time of the murder!" He ran over to John and kissed him. "John you're a genius. I didn't think that your mind trick suggestion would work, but you're a genius. Nowhere near me, but still. Thank you!" He turned to dash out of the room but John called him back.

He tossed Sherlock's dressing gown towards him and said, "Mrs. Hudson might be out there. You don't want to give her a heart attack."

Sherlock tossed it back and then smiled and winked. "Let her look."

John leaned back after Sherlock left to call Lestrade and smiled. "I'm glad to help anytime Sherlock. You tosser.
***

A/N: Did I do well keeping Sherlock in character? I think I did alright, but I'm very picky about him being OOC. Honestly, I'm more concerned with that than if the sex was good. :-)