Never Truly Free, a Fairy Tail fanfiction

Disclaimer: I own nothing of fairies, neither their wings nor their tails.

Summary: Mystogan in Edolas. Freedom of the empire doesn't always mean freedom of the monarchy.

i. Coco

Coco, never in her wildest fantasies, imagined that her world could be like this. A world without magic but filled with peace and love and friendship, rather than the scary and oppressive world with magic that they lived in before. It was beautiful. It was exhilarating. It was pure freedom.

Her legs pumped faster as she ran down the streets of the new City being rebuilt after Natsu-san had destroyed it in that insane piece of acting the Dragon Slayers performed. Surprisingly, she was one of the few who knew the true story behind the Disappearance of Magic, but even that was a watered-down version to prevent the secret from ever escaping into the public. Nevertheless Coco knew that she would never forget Lily or the Princess with the strange keys or even Natsu-san.

Coco gazed up into the sky. She wondered what that new world was like. And if Lily was doing well. She was so caught up in her contemplation that she didn't watch where her feet had taken her but luckily – or unluckily – the new King caught her before she fell backwards.

In his arms, she watched his face as he rested her back on her two feet. Noble intentions. The words rang in her head. The last few words King Jellal had said to her. Her treason was now considered noble. How ironic. But like she said before, this was a new world, with different ideals and different rules, under the reign of King Jellal, the boy who had disappeared more than seven years ago.

Coco knew that King Jellal had lived in that other world during that disappearance. And when she was feeling melancholic on the loss of Lily, she would just look at her King's stoic face and probably imagine – or maybe not – the look of loneliness and homesickness on his face, and she would strangely feel relieved. If their King missed his old home to that extent, then maybe it wasn't such a bad and horrible place but a lovely one where Lily was surely to be happy. Right?

King Jellal nodded at her once and continued walking down the streets of his kingdom, as was his usual routine. Coco tilted her head to the side. Their King didn't really talk much besides to the public and to the council. His voice was so infrequent that everyone clamored to hear what he said. Was that a kingly technique? Or was it something else? His homesickness? But wasn't Edolas his home now?

Coco stumbled on a stone and gazed at the back of her King, who still insisted on covering most of his body and his head in wrapped cloths. Her King was so lonely that Coco felt surprising tears gather in the corners of her eyes, blurring her vision. Maybe it was going to be a tough transition from a Earthland Fairy Tale wizard into a King of Edolas. But… wait a second… Fairy Tail!

There was a Fairy Tail right here in Edolas. With Natsu-san, and the Princess and the others that her King probably knew! And as Coco gazed around at her surroundings, she smiled as she realized that this street led to their new headquarters in the city. Coco ran after him. She wanted to see her King smile in this new world he had created. She wanted to see King Jellal smile after giving up his previous life for them, the citizens of Edolas. Maybe, he was going to see his old friends.

However as she approached him and Fairy Tail as well, she unknowingly stopped a safe distance away and simply stood quietly observing her King. King Jellal, himself, stopped outside the guild, stared at the various members dashing in and out, and generally being their noisy selves with too much work to really fight as they were prone to. But then, he turned on his heel and continued down the street.

Coco, though, was fixated on the expressions on his face. Longing, sadness, resignation, determination and a bit of anger before all emotions were simply erased from his face.

Just like his presence as he walked further and further away from Coco down the street by himself wrapped in those cloths that seemed to hold him together and keep him from breaking apart.

Coco dropped to her knees. Was the path of solitude the only option for those who reign in Edolas?

ii. Erza Knightwalker

Erza scoffed as she stalked down the unfamiliar corridors of the castle. Damages upon damages decorated the walls and even took out some of the wings of the castle. Shitty Earthland wizards! And those Exceeds as well. But then again, she, herself, had probably destroyed more than they in her fight against herself.

Erza smiled. That was truly an experience. Eye-opening, soul searing and beyond passionate. The true meeting of two warriors in their beliefs. But Earthland-Erza succeeded where she failed, and from those ashes she will be reborn stronger than ever.

And this was only the first step, she thought as she continued to the King's room. Honestly, she clenched her fist tightly, she didn't understand why this new 'King' had to forsake the safety of the castle to take walks in the rubble of a city left by his 'clan'. What kind of a monarchy did he hope to bring?

Clenching her teeth, Erza struggled to calm her rising ire. All she needed to do was make her peace with herself and then she could move on. Bursting through the doors, she waited until the heavy thud signaled that they were closed in. This particular conversation required absolute privacy. If heard by the wrong ears, treason may be the least of her problems.

The new 'King' Jellal was staring out of a window, gazing at the fallen city he had just come back from. Was the castle so abhorrent that he couldn't even stop himself from pretending to be somewhere else? Erza clicked her teeth. And this was their ruler now?

Jellal turned to face her slowly and released a heartfelt smile at her appearance. Before she could utter a word, he spoke ever so softly, "I never imagined Erza with her hair so short before."

And that was the other thing. Jellal was intimately connected to Scarlet as comrades in the other Fairy Tail and he was constantly making these little comparisons in her presence alone. Did he fail to recognize that she was once known for being the Fairy Hunter? That she was not his 'comrade'?

But he would understand that now.

Her words were soft but fierce. "I am not Erza Scarlet. Her choices and decisions are not mine."

Jellal's smile froze for a quick second before warming once again. His gaze flew out the window, back to the rubble outside. "I know," he whispered into the wind. But she heard them anyway.

She continued on, "I also do not see you as my rightful King. Neither as a comrade nor a friend. I will say it once more. I am not Erza Scarlet." Waiting for his gaze to return to her face, she repeated it once more, "I am not Erza Scarlet."

His small smile from before widened into a playful smirk. "I know," he also repeated. But this time he explained. "And I am very grateful for that." Seeing her shocked expression, he held up a hand, "You may not believe me but I truly am. This world… my home-world, I guess you can say is unfamiliar to me now." He looked back out of the window. "It's a challenge to forget that the familiar people around me are not familiar to me at all. But somehow with all your silent glares and clenched hands, you make that easy." He returned his gaze to her outraged face.

Erza retorted before thinking, "Are you making fun of me, Prince Jellal?" The words escaped her and she hurried to correct them, "King Jellal."

But Jellal waved his hand. "Refer to me as only Jellal. It grows rather tedious after a while." But then the playful smirk came back. "But no, I am not making fun of you. I am merely agreeing to the fact that you are not Erza Scarlet. You are Erza Knightwalker."

Erza could feel the weight on her shoulders beginning to melt away. Her task was complete. She could begin again.

Jellal continued on though, "Thank you for not accepting me." Then he dismissed her with a quick jerk of his head.

Erza was puzzled. Was it the guilt of ruling a country stolen from its previous King? Was it an identity crisis – which she could now sadly relate to? But as she reviewed his words, it struck her suddenly. This place was no longer his home – it hadn't been in years – and his acclimation was probably slow coming. The quick acceptance of the citizens couldn't force his own acceptance of his new circumstances.

But even if she didn't see him as the King of Edolas; that is what he was now. And for the sake of the citizens she would help him in this case, but only for the betterment of Edolas. How could they withstand a leader with no love for what he led?

As she opened the heavy doors, she said in farewell, "Not a problem, Jellal."

And as the doors shut tightly behind her, she couldn't see nor hear the laughter that escaped him.

iii. Edolas-Natsu

Natsu ran out of Fairy Tail as quickly as possible to escape the never-ending wrath of Lucy. Sometimes he pondered the sweetness of the other Lucy and wondered why this one was so violent all the time. Women, he sighed, as he ducked from the projectile shoes headed his way.

He decided that it would be best to take a walk in the town, which was finally not a crime. He remembered all those times sneaking in and out, quietly, fearful of any small sound that would determine death or life. He shivered. And people wondered why he wasn't as brave as his counterpart.

Stopping, he grinned. Earth-Natsu was amazing. And everything he wasn't. Brave, powerful and basically in charge of his own life. Independent. But he also had friends, which seemed like a contradiction, nevertheless somehow fit the image of Earth-Natsu.

As habitually ingrained in him, he kept an eye on the people surrounded him at all times. Just because the world was in a state of peace didn't necessarily convince his body. But there was the King Jellal walking down the road towards his still self. But, Earth-Natsu had called him something else. Misty? Mystery?

Oh it was… "Mystogan," he waved as the figure neared him enough so that he could clearly see the King's face, which was uncovered from the heavy cloths he normally bound himself with. Natsu watched as the King stopped abruptly and turned his head towards the sky. Almost like he was expecting company from above. But why would he… Oh…

"Mystogan," he called softer this time but clearly that was not the right thing to do at the time for the King whipped around and stared at him. Natsu shivered at the pure look of disbelief and longing before it morphed into viscous disappointment and disillusion.

Anger touched his voice as the King raised an arm, "Do not call me by that name." The command was soft but Natsu knew it was closer to a threat.

Natsu knew that common sense wasn't his strongest point and maybe seeing all those emotions on the King's face had erased what little self-preservation tactics he had left but he shyly said, "But the Natsu from the other Fairy Tail called you-"

The words, this time, were closer to a stifled scream. "You are not him!" Breathing deeply, almost hyperventilating, the King repeated himself, "Do not call me by that name!" And with that, the King turned and left without another word.

Natsu gaped a bit after the King when Lucy emerged from a tree along the path. Natsu pointed a finger at the direction the King took and Lucy nodded. "I heard everything." Slapping Natsu on the head, she berated him, "And that was tactless of you. How could you do that to him?"

Natsu fended off her attacks as best as he could. "Tactless? What do you mean?"

Lucy stopped for a moment and explained to her dense friend. "King Jellal is only Mystogan to the Earth Fairy Tail because they are his family. We aren't although we may look the same. You remember how different we are to our counterparts? That's like a slap in the face to him. Every time he sees us, he'll think of them and know that he'll probably never see them again. You calling him by that name just reinforced it." Feeling a bit teary herself, she slapped Natsu again. "Stupid idiot!"

Natsu took the violence this time. Maybe he deserved it. He couldn't imagine a life without his friends and family and he couldn't imagine what the King was feeling at this moment. For he had imposters of his friends and family surrounding him instead.

Tactless seemed too timid a word.

iv. Natsu

Natsu climbed the mountains that led to his house in deep silence, an expressionless look uncharacteristically etched into his face after the night of celebration of their return. Normally, he would still be in the Guild surrounded by all his friends, still celebrating and competing with Gray and even Gajeel, after he finally got that damn cat, but somehow he woke and just started walking. He'd even left Happy there.

The ground was hard as his calves burnt familiarly and he thought, home sweet home. But he didn't feel that sense of homecoming after a mission. He felt strangely empty. Maybe it was all the shocks of the past hours. Mystogan was the Edolas-Jellal, who turned out to be a prince. And Lisanna was… she was… here. Natsu shook his head. No, he couldn't think about that right now.

Stopping at a hidden pathway along the mountain, he turned into the forested area and kept walking, needing to keep his mind busy. But the feeling persisted. Finally, he sat on a rock, far from the beaten path and rested his head in his palms. Mystogan was gone. Natsu had performed the Fairy Tail Farewell Ceremony himself but reality was kicking in.

Loneliness and abandonment weren't unfamiliar to the Dragon Slayer. His father had abandoned him. Then Igneel disappeared. Even after he joined Fairy Tail, Gildarts always disappeared for months and years at a time, with the uncertainty of returning from the most difficult jobs. Then Lisanna had… she died. Left him alone. Natsu shook his head again.

Even Laxus left him after Gramps exiled him. Now… now even Mystogan had deserted him.

Granted, Natsu wasn't always conscious around the mysterious traveller. But, Mystogan had always been there ever since his arrival all those years ago. He was a constant in Natsu's ever-changing life. And sometimes, Natsu liked to think that Mystogan thought Natsu was a constant in his life as well. He knew all about travelling in solitude, before Happy that is, and hoped that Mystogan would feel less lonely knowing that there were people waiting for his return.

Plus, he always wanted to fight Mystogan. To see how strong he was. To see how strong he needed to become.

Tears leaked from his eyes. People always left him. It didn't matter how strong he grew. They always left him behind.

Natsu wasn't stupid. He knew Mystogan had a duty, a life over there in that messed-up world but he also had a family here. Mystogan was his family, dammit. Why did those ungrateful humans who abused their magic have to take Mystogan away from them? Mystogan shouldn't be there. He should be here, with them, in the shadows and corners. He should be with his family.

Natsu raised his head to the skies. It wasn't fair but when was life ever fair? The tears streamed down his face and he wiped his palm roughly against the wet skin. His family was slowly growing smaller. Sure, he had gained friends with Lucy, Wendy and even Gajeel recently but they weren't family.

Family were the dragon who raised him and the people who taught him to read and write, taught him to fish and to laugh again, brought him in from the rain, protected him, even when he didn't want it, but needed to be. Igneel, Ezra, Mirajane, Gray, Lisanna, Elfman, Cana, Gramps, Laxus, Mystogan…

After Lisanna had died, things changed for their little makeshift family. Mirajane and Elfman became more withdrawn from the guilt. Cana had taken up alcohol like a hobby. Ezra was taking on more S-class jobs. Gray didn't fight with him for a while. Laxus didn't come to the guild as often, preferring to roam with his band of friends. Only Mystogan and Gramps remained constant. And even Gramps looked sad sometimes.

Mystogan actually helped Natsu after Lisanna's death, although he probably never knew it. And Natsu cursed, he should have at least told him so when he had the chance. Mystogan represented a sense of calm and reliable consistency that Natsu depended on for a bit when his world was spinning once again. He could look forward to the moments when he would fall asleep into a bowl of food and wake disoriented a few moments later. The one constant when everything else was a blur.

But now… even that reprise was gone. Locked in another world. Instead, his world was changing – spinning again. And not for the better, since he was losing another member of his family – and damn that bastard for making Natsu recite the Fairy Tail Ceremony Farewell for him. The family he was adopted into after Igneel disappeared. The family he loved. Which included Mystogan, the perpetually mysterious, and older brother figure.

I hope to see you again, Mystogan.

Those were the only words he could say in farewell. What else could he say? Come back with us? Fairy Tail is your home! Not this place! But Natsu knew that Mystogan had no real choice. His duty was to govern his land, even if it meant sacrificing his family to do so. Natsu blinked brightly against the blue, blue sky. Because that was the kind of man Mystogan was, he thought, the kind of man Gramps raised, the kind of man Fairy Tail raised.

When Natsu found Igneel again – because if was just unthinkable – what would he do? Would he forsake his family, like Mystogan, or would he remain tethered there? And Natsu knew the answer deep inside his heart. So how could he wish Mystogan anything other than the best in his new life? How could he selfishly say that Mystogan should stay here in Fairy Tail?

I hope to see you again, Mystogan.

Natsu raised himself to stand on his own two legs. Considering the uncertainty of the future, Natsu made a silent promise to himself, to enjoy all the moments Fairy Tail would grant him, just like Mystogan probably did, because who knew when he would only be able to remember and not able to experience again. And maybe, he might see Mystogan someday again.

The future was uncertain, unclear and full of surprises. But as Natsu ran through the forested area back to the mountainside, he smiled a bit watery and thought, but then he never would have met Igneel, Lisanna, Happy, Ezra, Gray and the rest of Fairy Tail who had become so important to him. He never would have met Mystogan, no matter how infrequently or how unconsciously. And wasn't that better than not meeting him ever?

I hope to see you again, Mystogan.

A.N. So Fairy Tail marathon including the entire anime and manga (as of so far) and the one scene that etched itself into me was the Farewell Ceremony between Natsu and Mystogan. Just something about it, I guess. And I always wondered why. This little fiction sprouted because of that. And somehow the piece became a bit angst-like as I decided to include a bit of the life Mystogan must now lead in Edolas.

Because, let's face it, he was prepared to die, but not to live on in a place with nobody on his side. Sometimes, that's a harsher sentence than death, in a way. Especially for Fairy Tail mages (nakama-power!). *winks* But this is Mystogan, the solitude, lone wolf. He could eventually do it. But just not right away, which is mainly the reasoning behind this fic.

Until next time,

c_u.