Absurd

Fabian Rutter absolutely hated Mara Jaffray. He hated her know-it-all attitude, he hated the way her hair curled in the wind, he hated how teachers compared them on academics and grades, he hated it when she smiled, he hated how her brows furrowed together when in confusion, he hated how commanding she was and he absolutely, utterly hated how he fell for her.

With all that said and done, Fabian Rutter was one hundred percent in love with Mara Jaffray and he hated it.

He hated her with every fiber of his being but at the same time, he loved her with every piece of his heart.

One rainy afternoon he walked into the living room and saw her, she sat near one of the windows, her gaze locked on the view outside, her watched her carefully. All kinds of different emotions flooded his heart and he tried so hard to dismay them but to no avail. He sighed and decided to go to the kitchen and get something to eat but she noticed his presence and said.

"Hey" She greeted as she looked at him. "Where are the others?"

"Uh, hey" He replied awkwardly, "They left for the movies a few hours ago"

It was true, all of them decided to go out when there wasn't a cloud in the sky but he had a lot of catching up to do with his school work so he declined.

"Oh" She sighed

"Didn't they tell you?" He asked, suddenly feeling sorry for her.

"No but its fine" She replied, he thought he heard a trace of hurt in her voice "I would've said no even if they did ask me to join."

She returned her gaze back to the window not saying anything less and for a moment it was just pure silence. Fabian lost for words, nothing left to say but still tried to scramble for words or any coherent thought in his mind.

"Aren't you cold?" Fabian finally spoke after an agonizingly– for him at least– moment "It's freezing, why don't you light the fireplace?"

"I don't mind the cold" Mara replied, her eyes still fixed on the window. It made Fabian a little frustrated; she wouldn't even look at him when they talked! He decided to leave her and continue his previous ventures into the kitchen, as he walked past the threshold of the kitchen door, he heard her speak "I like the cold"

He wasn't sure if she really did say it or was it just his imagination, so he thought it would be better not to comment but when she looked at him with a look of expectancy he scrambled for words in his mind but only got the word "Why?" out.

"I don't know" She replied as she watched him walk back into the living room, an apple in hand. "I hate rain…" Her voice trailed off.

"Why?" It seemed the most logically question to ask as he approached her and sat on one of the overstuffed chairs in the room.

"It makes me feel cold and lonely" She answered "It's too sad"

"But I thought you liked the cold" He said, the apple still in his hand.

"I do" She almost smiled when she replied "But I hate feeling lonely and sad"

"Doesn't everybody?"

"What makes you sad?" She asked suddenly and it took him by surprise.

He thought about it for a moment, it made him sad whenever she's around him and he couldn't wrap his arms around her, it made him sad knowing he could never feel her lips on his. It made him sad when he heard her laughing with someone and it wasn't him. It made him sad when he thought about the fact that she would never be his.

It made his heart ache.

"I-I don't know" He finally replied

She looked at him for a second and turned to look back at the window.

"What's your answer on the last question in our Physics homework?" She asked out of the blue.

"1720 miles" He replied almost automatically, it was easier to talk to her when it was about school.

"We have the same answer" She told him

"I guess we're both right, then" He said releasing a nervous laugh. It was a strained laugh but still, it made her join in.

"I guess so" She smiled at him. "Aren't you going to eat that?" She asked and pointed toward the apple in his hand.

"Oh, I… N-no" He stuttered and placed the apple on the coffee table in front of him "I'm not hungry anymore"

"I am though" She said

"Oh, do you want the apple?" He reached for it but Mara stopped him, shaking her head.

"I don't like apples" She said.

"You don't like a lot of things, do you?" He teased and it made her laughed.

"You could say that" She replied

"Okay, so what do you like?" He asked, a current of courage washing over him. He wasn't sure why and it was absolutely absurd for him to be nervous because of a question he asked.

A simple, mundane question. A question with no meaning behind it what so ever. And yet here he was, sitting across from the girl he loved, anxiously waiting for a reply to the question that made his stomach do back flips.

What did she like?

After all the years of them knowing each other, he never truly knew what Mara liked and disliked. He knew she liked reading; she was the only person he knew that enjoyed reading Romeo and Juliet during the weekends, he knew she liked watching Doctor Who, a show he himself also enjoyed.

He knew she disliked it when someone leaves the door open when they exit her room, he knew she disliked hearing Amber drabble on about magazine and boys, he also knew she disliked it when someone mentioned the fact that she was only 5"2 in height.

He was snapped out of his train of thought when she stood up from her position and stood directly in front of him.

"I like Harry Potter" She answered as she looked down at him, a nervous smile tugging on her lips. She continued to list off the things she liked, Fabian said nothing as she went on. He just studied her through narrowed eyes. "… I like Little Mix and I think, I… like… y-you"

She said the last part so quietly, her voice barely a whisper, he wasn't sure if he heard correctly but the look on her face said otherwise.

All forms of emotions washed over him and he didn't know what was happening until he stood up and pressed his lips to hers, both of their eyes fluttering close.

When their lips came in contact with each other, an electrifying sensation danced all along both of their bodies. He wrapped his arms around her tiny waist while Mara's fingers tangled into Fabian's dark locks of hair. He took in the scent of her– she smelled like jasmine and it made him shiver.

It was like a dream as their lips moved in perfect harmony, and when it ended, it ended too soon.

All words became powerless when they broke apart. Both at lots of words, not knowing what to say. They stood like that for who knows how long but Fabian finally found his voice.

"I'm sorry Mara, I-I didn't mean to…" He trailed off, because he did mean to kiss her. He meant every second of the kiss that still lingered on his lips.

"Why?" She asked suddenly and he could see the tears forming in her eyes "Do you regret it?"

"What? I– NO!" He basically yelled "God no, Mara. I don't regret it, I really don't but the question is, do you?"

Mara just looked at him and before both of them knew it, they were locked again in a kiss that made both of them come alive. Both felt exhilarated as they held each other close.

"Does that answer your question for you? She asked when they broke apart, still in each other's hold.

Fabian laughed and pressed a light kiss on her lips and he could feel the smile on her lips.

"Maybe" He teased, it was unusual for him to be a tease but with Mara he felt comfortable enough to be "I think more convincing is in order"

Mara laughed and kissed him again.

Maybe Fabian's hatred towards Mara was just a tad bit absurd, after all. How could he hate someone he loved so much?


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I hate you all