Thanks for deciding to read this! I would like to thank melodyslastfarewell of tumblr for coming up with the idea for this, and hope you all enjoy it. Cursing, drinking, violence, and various adult themes may be found throughout this fic, so if you are offended by any of these you have been forewarned. Another warning is the use of horsey terms with which you may not be familiar, I am an equestrian and will try to not go too over board if there is something horse related you don't understand it will be in a glossary I have made below, if I missed it feel free to google it if you desperately need to know. I hope you enjoy, please review I enjoy constructive criticism, feel free to message me strike up a conversation, whatever.

p.s

DESTIELL!

Chapter One - A Few Years

"Dean. Dean wake up."

Dean blinked, groggy; it was five thirty in the morning, on a Saturday too. He groaned burying his face into his pillow; normally he got to sleep in on Saturday and Sam got to get up early. He hadn't gotten home from the bar till three that morning, and wasn't in any mood to be up yet.

"Dean, get out of bed." John said shaking his shoulder, he replied with a muffled 'not yet' into his pillow. The bed was warm and comfy, for late spring it had been surprisingly chilly, not quite cold enough to snow – not that that would be any better – but cold enough to make the rain miserable. Outside was going to be muddy by now; it hadn't stopped raining since nine at night.

"Up." John pulled the blankets back.

"Dad…"

"Horses gotta eat."

"Dad its Saturday." Dean said, stretching his arms over his head.

"Sam's got that test or something today, said he needs to get sleep."

"Since when would you let him sleep in for –" Dean started, incredulous, but was cut off.

"Yeah well, he paid for it himself, so get up." John flicked on the lamp and left the room as Dean flopped over, rolling out of bed and dragging himself onto the floor. The constant patter of rain against the roof almost blocked out the sound of his father banging around the kitchen downstairs; but not quite. Dean frowned into the carpet. That was weird; Dad was never in the kitchen that early in the morning. He might've been in the barn already, or still in bed, but cooking was out of the question.

Sighing he lifted himself off the floor and stumbled over to his dresser to grab a tee shirt before padding out into the hallway. The hardwood was a lot colder than the carpet in his room and Dean started grumble about 'Dad being too cheap to pay for the heating'. Stairs were a challenge, gripping the rail he wobbled down. He made it into the kitchen and headed for the fridge, rummaging around for something to eat, his eyes landed on a plastic container near the back.

"Heello." He smiled, grabbing the box and ripping off the lid. Pie. Eyes lighting up he grabbed the remaining piece – which really could have been two – it was apple. He chuckled, satisfied with his breakfast.

"Dean put it back." John said, walking into the kitchen, "I'm making pancakes."

"But," Dean protested looking at his pie, "I'm hungry." John rolled his eyes and took the pie from his son, dropping it roughly into the box and tossing it into the fridge.

"If you're hungry," he reached up onto the top of the fridge and fumbled around, "Have this, now go get dressed; pancakes will be ready when you're done with the horses." John said, handing him a slice of bread. Dean bit it scowling.

"Coffee?"

"Get dressed, it'll be ready when you get down."

Ten minutes later Dean was back downstairs, in jeans and several layers of shirts under a windbreaker. His dad looked up, handing him a lidded coffee cup.

"It's black." John said as Dean took a sip.

"No kidding." Dean replied, turning and heading for the door. It was five fifty now, but didn't look any lighter, probably wouldn't for a while with the rain expected to last all day. Dean sighed, bracing himself for a blast of cold air as he reached for the doorknob.

"Dean wait!" Dean turned; his dad was behind him, hands buried in a flour streaked wash cloth. "After breakfast I'm going to need you to bring Sam to his test, okay?"

"Sam has a licenses dad."

"I have to go visit a guy about some horses, and I want you to stop by the feed store after you drop him off so take the truck. Our order came in the other day."

"Yeah fine." Dean grumbled heading out the door.

The rain only seemed to be getting heavier as he walked towards the main barn; at least they had known the storm was coming. Most of the horses were inside, those that weren't had been put in the front paddocks that had run in sheds. He could feel water seeping into his boots, he really needed a new pair; holes were starting to form at the seams and sole was coming off on the left toe. It was too dark to see anything but shapes, but as he walked past the arena he could imagine how wet the footing had gotten. He sighed; he had needed to drag it anyway.

The lights flicked on in the barn and the horses started to nicker, heads poking out of stalls, ears pricked towards Dean.

"Morning." Dean muttered as he walked into the feed room to start scooping grain and supplements into different buckets for each horse. He started to think about what he needed to get done today. He needed to feed not only this barn, but the studs and the broodmares. Most of the foals for the season had been born already, only a couple mares were still pregnant. Then take Sammy to the school and then the feed store. He straightened up, and started bringing buckets out. The horses whinnied at the sight of food, pacing at their doors.

"Chill." He said to a rather impatient mare, elbowing past her to get to the feed bucket. Her name was Rose, she was older, and one of the most stubborn horses he had ever met. He had learned to ride on her though, so had Sam. He patted her on the shoulder as she dived for her bucket completely ignoring him for food. He sighed heading back towards the feed room; hopefully his dad would muck the stalls since he had made him get up so early, but doubted it. There were those horses he was going to see, and two year olds that still needed a lot of groundwork. With Sam in that test he was going to have twice as much to do. He dumped the last bucket of feed into the horse's stall, just two more barns to go.

When he got back to the house it was almost seven in the morning the rain hadn't let up, but some sort of sunlight had begun to filter through the clouds. His fingers were a bit stuff and he fumbled with the door for a minute before letting himself in. He was dripping, with mud caked on his boots and the bottom of his pants.

"Dean! Make sure to take off your shoes!" John yelled from the kitchen.

"Yeah yeah." Dean tossed his boots to the side, "Pancakes done?"

"Almost, go get your brother up; he needs to be there at eight thirty."

"Kay." Dean said jogging up the stairs, and throwing open the door to Sam's room. It was dark, the curtains drawn tight, not that opening them would have made that much of a difference.

"C'mon Sammy up." Dean said flicking on the lights. It had been a long time since he had had to do this. His dad went on business a lot, taking horses to shows, flying across the country to look at a few stallions he was looking to buy. It wasn't too rare that it would just be him and Sam for a couple days, when they got older Sammy was able to get himself up in the morning and Dean was just there to drive him to and from school.

"Dean?" Sam frowned, scrunching his eyes shut.

"Pancakes are going to be ready soon, get dressed."

"Yeah, I'll be down in a minute."

"So, what test are you taking?" Dean asked drumming his hands against the steering wheel as he looked over at his little brother. Sam had his head against the window, watching the rain against the windshield.

"SAT, didn't you take it?"

"Dropped out remember?" he laughed, glancing at Sam again, he didn't respond. Dean frowned slightly, brow furrowed and looked back at the road for a second and then back to Sam. "What's up with you?"

"What do you mean what's up with me?" Sam asked straightening to look at Dean.

"You've been acting like this all morning. Like," Dean paused searching for words, "uh, that dwarf from snow white, Grumpy!" He grinned at Sam who just scowled back, "You know, just…taller." Sam rolled his eyes

"I'm just tired Dean."

"Oh don't be a little bitch, you got to sleep in today." Dean grumbled looking back at the road as they went around a curve.

"You're a jerk." Sam muttered leaning against the window again. It was quiet for a while, and Dean caught himself looking at his brother for than once. The rain was getting heavier and the road would be slick, he knew he should probably focus on the road, but he was worried. Sam had always been moody, though he had started to grow out of it as he got older, he seemed stressed though.

"Oh come on Sammy –"

"Stop calling me Sammy." Sam cut him off, Dean bit his lip and gripped the steering wheel, the tendons on his hands making ridges against his skin.

"Alright, Sam. You know you can talk to me."

"Can I?" Sam snapped, sitting up again quickly.

"Of course you can Sam, I'm your brother." Dean turned to look Sam in the eye, who glared back with the 'look at the dam road Dean' look that he gave him whenever he was trying to avoid a talk in the car. Dean shrugged looking back to the road, tapping his finger against the black plastic of the steering wheel in time with the slow squeaking of the wipers. Maybe it was the two hours of sleep he had gotten, but he was starting to get bugged. By the windshield wipers, by echoing sound the rain made in the old metal truck, and by Sam.

"I want to go to school." Sam said, finally breaking the silence. Dean's brow furrowed.

"Where do you think I'm taking you Sam?"

"No. I mean after high school, I want to go to college. I'm not good with horses Dean. Not like you and Dad, I can ride alright but that's about it." Sam's voice was raising, but Dean started to laugh, relieved. Sam looked over at his brother, frowning. "What?"

"No one's going to stop you from going to school Sammy. I think it's a good idea actually, you could get your MBA or whatever, in four years you can come back home. So what you aren't great with horses, me and dad can handle that, and you can run the business part."

"I'm not going to come back home Dean."

Dean looked over at his brother, everything suddenly felt heavy. His throat tightened, and he became quiet for a moment. The rain seemed to get louder as he looked to the road, and then back to Sam, a nervous laugh escaped before he spoke.

"What?"

"I – I want to be a lawyer Dean. I don't want to work on the farm, or stay in this town, I want to move out to the city. Or somewhere, but I don't want to live on the ranch my entire life."

"How long have you felt like this?" Dean asked as the turned onto the street the high school was on.

"I don't know, a while now. A few years?" Sam said quietly, looking out the window as the pulled up to the school, the truck lurching to a stop. Dean raised his eyebrows, nodding slowly. This was his little brother, and he just wanted to up and leave? Get into some fancy school and that's it? Never come home again?

"Okay."

"Okay?" Sam sounded a bit surprised as he looked up. Dean turned quickly, jerking Sam's bag out of the backseat and flinging it into his lap.

"You know what? Good luck on your test."

"Dean –"

"You're going to be late." Dean growled and Sam nodded fumbling to pull his stuff together at the same time as opening the door. Dean watched his little brother step out into the rain and slam the door shut behind him. The massive lanky figure grew hazy in the rain and disappeared into the school. Dean yelled slamming his fist against the side of the steering wheel wincing as the bones hit the hard plastic, "God damn it."

Dragging the arena – taking a tractor with a rake like attachment and churning up the footing of a riding arena (such as sand) so it will be loose and soft as to not be hard on the horse's hooves, tendons, and joints.

Mare – An adult female horse.

Stallion/Stud – An adult male horse that is able to breed.

Well thanks so much for reading and I hope you'll review and follow for the next chapter. Will we see a certain blue eyed someone next chapter? Who knows? Thanks again!