Disclaimer: I don't own Eyeshield 21, but ohh how I wish I did.

Hiruma didn't have a problem with the way he was, he liked himself quite well, thank you.

He was a villain.

He knew it and accepted it, his enemies knew it and feared him, hell even people in other fucking countries knew it and shrugged it off as a fact of life.

Hiruma Youichi was a villain and not even God himself could make him change his blackmailing, bribing, lying, cheating, intimidating, trigger-happy ways.

He'd never once second-guessed himself.

Second-guesses were for fucking pansies and cowardly shrimps, he just played the hand he was dealt and, most importantly, played to win.

That was until that moment.

It was all that fucking song's fault, he'd heard it in the morning while checking an online newspaper, it had dug its hooks in his head and wouldn't go away.

It struck too close to home for his liking.

And so, he walked in the clubhouse in a hell of a mood, hoping to find peace and solitude and instead he found his fucking manager already spoiling for a fight.

Anezaki Mamori, discipline committee member extraordinaire, the darling of Deimon high school, creampuff monster and the very bane of his existence, got up from her chair and stared him down with her fists on her hips "Really, Hiruma-kun, would it trouble you too much to close the door without kicking it shut? And what is this I hear about you blackmailing the principal to-" but Hiruma had already stopped listening.

He knew he should pay attention to her or the damn woman would complain till she was blue in the face and hit him with her fucking mop, but the hellish song kept replaying in his head and he started noticing the things that he usually tried really hard to ignore: when she was angry her blue eyes sparkled, her cheeks pinked, her lips made him want to crush them beneath his and shut her up.

When you were here before

Couldn't look you in the eye

You're just like an angel

Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

I wish I was special

You're so fucking special

He reined himself in. She was angry for some stupid, righteousness induced reason and wanted him to stop doing something that he surely had a very good motive to do. He'd said it all before: no backtracking, no compromising, no second-guessing and especially no changing his ways to please a certain fucking manager. Life was about winning, and his were the most effective methods.

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here

"Hiruma-kun! Are you listening? You seriously make me wonder if you really have a heart! I'm sure you can't tell me one, single, good reason for doing it! Answer me!" the fucking manager was almost in his face, her shoulders were shaking and he almost wished he could touch her. Just to stop that tremor, of course.

I don't care if it hurts

I want to have control

I want a perfect body

I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice when I'm not around

You're so fucking special

I wish I was special

He took a gum from his pocket and popped it in his mouth "I always have reasons. None of which I have to explain to you, fucking manager." Hiruma saw her almost snap under the weight of the expletive, but really that made it all the more necessary: it kept her away and dumped her right in the pile with all the fucking-somethings that surrounded him. There was no need to make her know that she was special, was there?

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here

Hiruma turned and walked away "I'm going to work out, send the team to the gym when they get their asses here." He took maybe seven steps before something crashed into his head from behind.

It was a box. A red box filled with what looked like chocolate.

She's running out the door

She's running out

She runs runs runs runs..

Runs...

His head snapped up in time to see Anezaki striding over to him, an eyebrow primly arched up.

"I'm sure you had your reasons to get the principal to ban Valentine's chocolates from the school, but since I can't even begin to fathom them, I decided to disregard your motives." She stopped in front of him "Well?"

"Kekeke, the fucking discipline committee officer is breaking the rules. This is going in the threat notebook."

Anezaki sighed "Hiruma-kun, shut up and accept a gift gracefully, will you?"

Whatever makes you happy

Whatever you want

You're so fucking special

I wish I was special

They were still kissing when a group of unsuspecting students stumbled upon them, squealing and gasping in a great variety of pitches and unintelligible languages.

All it took to keep them quiet was a brief but effective flash of the black notebook peeking out of Hiruma's pocket.

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here

I don't belong here

"I really should tell you how wrong it is for you to threaten poor students like that." Anezaki said straightening the lapels of his jacket.

"But it is damned useful." He replied shrugging unrepentant.

"Yes, it is, you terrible devil." She conceded giving him a smiling kiss.

Hiruma Youichi was a villain, and not even God himself could make him change his ways, but maybe, just maybe, a certain angelic manager could make him choose a more roundabout method of getting what he wanted.

For the right incentive, of course.

A.N. Inspired by the song "Creep" by Radiohead (which I wrote in italics). I thought it was perfectly fitting, especially the "fucking special" part. But alas, Hiruma doesn't have a conscience and sees no reason not to get something he really wants, all the more so if it's freely offered by a certain manager.

Any OOC-ness depends on the fact that it's late and I haven't written anything non-school related in a loooong while.

If you've gotten this far, REVIEW pretty please.