And so it began

Jane and Maura were not dating for a very long time. Maura only joined the Boston Police Department a short while ago. Detective Rizzoli was on medical leave at the time. The reason for this leave was only referred to in hush tones. Yet, Hurricane Rizzoli was a legend, a legend proudly boasted by her colleagues. Maura heard quite a bit about the foul tempered, daring and courageous female detective.

Maura established herself as the Queen of the Dead, by the time that Detective Rizzoli returned to work. To be honest, it was not a meeting that Maura was looking forward to. However, being pinned to a warehouse would change anybody. In Detective Jane Rizzoli's case, it taught her that she didn't always had to be the bitch with balls. She had sarcasm and a gun, but she could easily win the trust of many witnesses and even perpetrators. She can calm her partners down when they wanted to attack somebody, instead of attacking first to show that she is tougher than them. She is entitled to respect, for her and any of her female acquaintances. If she could survive the surgeon, she could survive any chauvinistic pig and make an ass out of him.

So when she met the socially awkward Medical Examiner, Jane just wanted to protect her. Normally never one for making friends, she went out of her way to befriend this woman. If the friendship in itself was not rewarding enough, one thing led to another. Soon Rizzoli and Isles was an item. Not that it meant all was smooth sailing from there. Jane was still very temperamental, thus moody and still quite capable of living up to her Hurricane image. Something that Maura was very aware off.

Maura was never one for assuming, but she knew that it was going to be a trying day. The empirical evidence proved it beyond a doubt from the moment she set foot in the bullpen. Jane did not acknowledge her presence with a radiant, dimpled smile. Jane did not even look up at her. When she kissed the detective on the cheek, Jane pulled away. The bullpen was however no place to call Jane to order. So Maura just shrugged and walked away.

Maura did not hear anything from Jane the entire day. Maura is by no means an impatient woman, but Jane is taxing on anybody's patience. Maura's patience ran out. It was time for change and it was up to Jane to decide what that change would be. So she phoned Jane late afternoon before the detective would knock off.

"Detective Rizzoli." Jane grunted.

"Jane, I am expecting you for dinner tonight." Maura went right to business.

"Not tonight –"

"Yes, tonight Jane Rizzoli. You probably have not eaten today and I –"

"That is my business, Maura." Jane snapped.

"You are my business, Jane. Although, if you object, don't show up tonight and you will no longer be my business."

Jane sighed and remained silent. Maura was just about to put the phone down when she spoke.

"I am sorry."

The apology softened Maura a bit. "We talk tonight, Baby."

"Maura . . . please not tonight. I am exhausted and I am not in a good mood."

"Jane, tonight or we are done."

"Please don't say that, Honey. I love you, but-" Jane pleaded softly.

"I find that difficult to believe, Jane." Maura stated matter of factually and put the phone down. For a moment Maura pinched her nose. Jane is not afraid to use those three dangerous words, but there are days that Maura actually wondered if she actually put any value on it. Tonight she will determine if it is just meaningless words for Jane. There is a good chance that the Jane chapter may be closed tonight.

Maura used her time driving home to prepare for the worst. Frankly she was not in the mood for cooking, so she stopped at a restaurant en route. It was still a couple of hours before dinner, but Maura could use the time to meditate and reflect on what she was going to tell Jane. The meditation and reflection had to wait. Maura was pleasantly surprised to find Jane waiting for her on her front steps. She had to come over just after their phone call.

"Jane!"

Jane silently took her packages and followed her inside. Maura noticed her grimace as she took the parcels but decided to ignore it until after dinner.

"I was not expecting you this early." Maura observed.

"Maura, if you don't believe I love you –" Maura silenced Jane by placing her finger over Jane's lips.

"Let's eat first, and then we talk." She kissed Jane softly to reassure her a bit and then went to the kitchen to dish up the still warm food. She could have saved herself the bother; neither one of them had much of an appetite. Jane fumbled a bit with her plate, but then went to sit on the couch. Maura looked at her with rising panic.

It was probably not a good idea to confront Jane here and now. The detective was petulant, over caffeinated, most likely in pain and hungry – although she would not acknowledged or addressed the latter. Jane had a tendency to stop eating when she was feeling off or was busy. She would definitely not be in the mood for a whining girlfriend. Yet, Jane did show up. That indicated that at least she valued her relationship with Maura.

Maura pushed her own plate aside and went over to the couch. She hugged Jane from behind and felt the other woman stiffened and then forced herself to relax. When she was like that, she did not want to be cuddled. She wanted to be left alone until she snapped out of it. Maura did not want to be a good mood girlfriend only. She walked around and sat on the opposite side of the couch.

"Jane, why are you here?" Maura asked quietly.

"Because I love you." Jane shrugged.

Maura raised her eyebrows disapprovingly. "Do you? Do you really? What does that mean?"

Jane jumped up offended. She paced in front of the couch a few minutes and then slumped down aggressively on the couch. She crossed her legs and stared Maura down.

"Jane! No shoes on the couch!" Maura chastised her.

"Oh, for the love of Pete." Jane huffed and angrily took her boots off. "Anything else, Mother?"

Maura sighed and Jane let her head fell to her hands. She breathed loudly. "Sorry."

"I am too." Maura said softly.

Jane looked up. "Who am I kidding? Maura, you deserve better. I am sorry, I should not have come. You are better off without me."

"For crying out loud!" Maura raised her voice. "You claim that you love me, Jane. Love me! That means that you want to give yourself to me. All of you. We are both adults here, Jane. We know that love is not just moonlight and roses. All of you mean everything, the good and the bad. You just now said that I deserved better. I do, Jane. I deserved to be trusted. If you can't trust me, then why are we in a relationship? Tell me that? Tell me how you can love me if you won't let me in."

Jane stared at Maura dumbfounded. "To love you Maura means that I have to protect you. Against all cost even if it is against my demons." She whispered.

"Jane, I am not fragile. I want to be an equal partner for you. I want to there for you. Can't you understand? Do you think I am inferior to you?"

"No!" Jane called out desperately. "If anything, Maura, you are above me."

"Nonsense!"

"Maura –"

"No, Jane. You are deflecting. You know what? You deserve more as well. You need a partner to who you can show your vulnerability. You also need comfort and protection. A relationship is give and take. I am refusing to be the only one taking from the relationship. I want to give as well."

Jane chewed her bottom lip, clearly pondering her options. She turns her back to Maura and for a moment the doctor is afraid that Jane may walk out. Instead, the brunette lay down in Maura's lap. Seeking comfort was something she has never done before. She closed her eyes and Maura started playing with her hair, waiting patiently. Jane needed time to lower her defences and opening the fort to her heart.

"My hands hurt." She mumbled softly.

"When the weather changes?" Maura prodded.

"Yeah. I don't sleep well, Hoyt is in my dreams. When my hands hurt, the nightmares get worst."

Maura pulled lightly on Jane, so that her shoulders are on the armrest. That gave Maura better access to Jane's hands. She took Jane's dominant hand, kissed the scar and then gently massaged it. Jane winched at first. "It will hurt a bit, but this will help with the pain overall." Maura promised.

Jane nodded, closing her eyes once again. "It just gets too much, you know. Hoyt plaguing me, not getting any sleep, hands hurting – it is just that it feels that everything is going to fall apart. I then get like a bitch to keep everything together."

Maura cupped Jane's cheek and then leaned in to kiss her. She rested her forehead against Jane. Jane put her arms around her girlfriend and leaned into the hug, placing her head on the Medical Examiner's shoulder.

"Sweetie, you should not have to deal with this alone." Maura whispered in her ear. "You can always come here when you have nightmares or your hands are aching. Or you can call me and I will come to you."

"I know."

"Are you feeling better?" Maura asked concerned.

Jane just nodded against her shoulder.

"Promise that you will come to me in future?" Maura nudged her girlfriend.

"Promise!" Jane yawned. "Maura you have to believe me, I do love you."

"I know, Sweetheart. I love you too – so much."

Maura squeezed Jane one more time and let her settle on her lap again. She turns on the television, but she is not surprised that Jane fell asleep within a few minutes. She gently played with the wild curls, knowing that a big leap was taken today.

Jane was her girlfriend for the long haul.